QTXAdsy
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Black Hole
I'm sure we all know M&D's, everyone's favourite butt monkey park, so no introductions needed. Being an enthusiast North o' the border, me and many of my fellow countrymen have suffered many frustrating years putting up with a lack of anything decent theme park wise, the unfortunate closure of Loudoun Castle pretty much killed off any hope we had for a decent Scottish theme park as we could only look down south at our southern friends with envy, never mind what was on show on at Europa Park and the continent! Our English friends may moan about anything good in England, but they can consider themselves lucky!
I've always mocked M&D's for years, and my visits have only been just simply more out of having to be in the area than simply wanting to go there, however just recently, my thoughts on the so called 'theme' park changed from mockery to frustration and unexpected new hope. I began thinking what could be done to transform the place from truly a rat turd of a park into the Light of the North of UK theme parks.
First thing you may ask is, why just make a new theme park in Scotland instead of spending £££ on transforming M&D's? Simple reason is why it is unlikely to see any new theme parks in this country, planning permission. Many proposed theme parks often fall apart when they get to this early stage as we've often seen, no doubt the same would apply for any project in Scotland, an example not so long ago was a plan to build a theme park on the banks of Loch Lomond, then came planning permission...So yeah, taking over M&D's would actually be not a bad thing in the grand scheme of things.
Moving Out And Rebranding
With it being the permeant site of the M&D's group, they would be leave if given a big fat check of money and move elsewhere along with all of their rides, though I doubt we'd give them a fond farewell. The big problem is that the land is their permanent ground so the question is where would they go? The M&D's group make more money going out on the road with their attractions than keeping them based at the park. I'm pretty certain that they are only breaking even with the park and in this scenario with them looking for new homes for their rides, many parks down south would be happy having the rides end having a semi-permenant home at wherever they go. Plus if the offer they get would also give the rides TLC, who could say no to that?
Also, the beauty of nearly all of their rides being fairground rides that are designed to be moved anywhere, the new owner would quite literally start off with a blank slate, never mind the place being renamed to get rid of its past. Maybe calling it 'Strathclyde Adventure Park' or something to get an idea. Any better names anyone?
Amazingly though that in its current state, M&D's does has the potential to expand its size as I'll show you:
Expansion
The marked orange area is the current park and car park and the blue area is where the park could be expanded. Any new owner, after buying that section of land, would probably have a field day with ideas of what to place in that area and would help add some greenery to the current concert slab.
You'll also notice in the photo that the proposed expanded park would end up alongside the Motherwell and Cumbernauld railway, and this nicely leads us into transport.
Transport
While it might be the park you don't want to go to, the irony is that with it being on M74 route to Glasgow, it is probably one of the most accessible parks in the country to be reached by road, more so that Towers TBH. It is also just a 20 mile trip coming in from Glasgow Airport, so as it stands, it already has transport going for in it's favour, you could say that if you were to rank a UK theme park by it's accessibility, M&D's would certainly be in that top five category. Pity the park is a different story...
As I mentioned with the railway, a new station connecting the park would send the new look park right up all of the other parks transport wise, plus with Scotland going through something a railway mania with new stations and railways opening up, so a new station would be actually quite plausible if needed.
Accommodation
In case you are wondering if the hotel above is really at M&D's, yes, it is. This is the Alona Hotel and it is a four star hotel that, would you believe, has nothing to do with shipping containers. When you have M&D's doing something better than Merlin, it really does shock you how appalling Merlin can be, but that's another topic. While it is nowhere in the same league with the EP hotels or even Towers' lineup, any new owner would have a hotel already to begin with the new look park and would have the chance to perhaps expand it in the future and improve on it.
Eventually you could have another hotel and log cabin accommodation on the banks of the Loch, the latter of which is more likely as your bound to find log cabin accommodation at any Scottish resort so it wouldn't be much of a surprise at M&D's.
All Round Attraction?
One of the biggest problems that many have said about Scotland having a good theme park is the bad Scottish weather and the lack of population needed for having a case for a park. With the weather, our southern friends encounter it too at the English and Welsh parks, no difference here. The beauty about the bad weather is that the new look M&D's would have to adapt to the weather, so while it would be unlikely to see water rides we could see a good few dark rides and various indoor attractions in this park. Would also help the UK's dark ride problem we keep laminating about.
The population is another factor folk bring up saying how Scotland could never support a theme park. In the Highlands, yes...no chance for a theme park there no doubt, but M&D's sits in the central belt, just ten miles near Glasgow, Scotland's biggest city, and sits quite comfortably in a populated area that would more or less keep the place busy. A question that does get asks as I mention it being close to Glasgow that it hasn't really expanded despite everyone knowing about it is simple. First is that most Scots I know all agree that it is crap and feel embarrassed by it, the other is that many Scots can simply head off down south or fly off to Europe to experience the so called proper theme parks, explains the very large Scottish crowd you see at Blackpool Pleasure Beach quite often.
And finally...
Can It Be Done?
The answer is yes...with quite a lot of arm twisting and money spending admittedly. Lanarkshire is undergoing a planned regeneration scheme by the Scottish Government, the timing couldn't be more perfect if someone was to come in about now and explain the proposal about the expanded park and the economic benefits for the area. It would tick a big box tourism wise for the area, plus with the SNP government wanting to really put Scotland way up there, the new owners could exploit the fact that the new park would restore Scotland's pride in theme parks and this would lead the SNP on a field day of having an unlikely symbol for Scottish confidence. It does sound crazy I know, but knowing the SNP I could see this happening really if Scottish pride is at stake.
I'm knowing saying that what I said would ever happen, hell I'm sure many on here would have various other ideas of what to do. It's just that unlike other theme parks, M&D's strangely is the only park that can really turn over a new leaf become something truly special if the new owners had big ambitions, a real life ugly duckling story no less! Though a man can dream, maybe someday we might see something like this...
Yes, Mack to Scotland please!
I've always mocked M&D's for years, and my visits have only been just simply more out of having to be in the area than simply wanting to go there, however just recently, my thoughts on the so called 'theme' park changed from mockery to frustration and unexpected new hope. I began thinking what could be done to transform the place from truly a rat turd of a park into the Light of the North of UK theme parks.
First thing you may ask is, why just make a new theme park in Scotland instead of spending £££ on transforming M&D's? Simple reason is why it is unlikely to see any new theme parks in this country, planning permission. Many proposed theme parks often fall apart when they get to this early stage as we've often seen, no doubt the same would apply for any project in Scotland, an example not so long ago was a plan to build a theme park on the banks of Loch Lomond, then came planning permission...So yeah, taking over M&D's would actually be not a bad thing in the grand scheme of things.
Moving Out And Rebranding
With it being the permeant site of the M&D's group, they would be leave if given a big fat check of money and move elsewhere along with all of their rides, though I doubt we'd give them a fond farewell. The big problem is that the land is their permanent ground so the question is where would they go? The M&D's group make more money going out on the road with their attractions than keeping them based at the park. I'm pretty certain that they are only breaking even with the park and in this scenario with them looking for new homes for their rides, many parks down south would be happy having the rides end having a semi-permenant home at wherever they go. Plus if the offer they get would also give the rides TLC, who could say no to that?
Also, the beauty of nearly all of their rides being fairground rides that are designed to be moved anywhere, the new owner would quite literally start off with a blank slate, never mind the place being renamed to get rid of its past. Maybe calling it 'Strathclyde Adventure Park' or something to get an idea. Any better names anyone?
Amazingly though that in its current state, M&D's does has the potential to expand its size as I'll show you:
Expansion
The marked orange area is the current park and car park and the blue area is where the park could be expanded. Any new owner, after buying that section of land, would probably have a field day with ideas of what to place in that area and would help add some greenery to the current concert slab.
You'll also notice in the photo that the proposed expanded park would end up alongside the Motherwell and Cumbernauld railway, and this nicely leads us into transport.
Transport
While it might be the park you don't want to go to, the irony is that with it being on M74 route to Glasgow, it is probably one of the most accessible parks in the country to be reached by road, more so that Towers TBH. It is also just a 20 mile trip coming in from Glasgow Airport, so as it stands, it already has transport going for in it's favour, you could say that if you were to rank a UK theme park by it's accessibility, M&D's would certainly be in that top five category. Pity the park is a different story...
As I mentioned with the railway, a new station connecting the park would send the new look park right up all of the other parks transport wise, plus with Scotland going through something a railway mania with new stations and railways opening up, so a new station would be actually quite plausible if needed.
Accommodation
In case you are wondering if the hotel above is really at M&D's, yes, it is. This is the Alona Hotel and it is a four star hotel that, would you believe, has nothing to do with shipping containers. When you have M&D's doing something better than Merlin, it really does shock you how appalling Merlin can be, but that's another topic. While it is nowhere in the same league with the EP hotels or even Towers' lineup, any new owner would have a hotel already to begin with the new look park and would have the chance to perhaps expand it in the future and improve on it.
Eventually you could have another hotel and log cabin accommodation on the banks of the Loch, the latter of which is more likely as your bound to find log cabin accommodation at any Scottish resort so it wouldn't be much of a surprise at M&D's.
All Round Attraction?
One of the biggest problems that many have said about Scotland having a good theme park is the bad Scottish weather and the lack of population needed for having a case for a park. With the weather, our southern friends encounter it too at the English and Welsh parks, no difference here. The beauty about the bad weather is that the new look M&D's would have to adapt to the weather, so while it would be unlikely to see water rides we could see a good few dark rides and various indoor attractions in this park. Would also help the UK's dark ride problem we keep laminating about.
The population is another factor folk bring up saying how Scotland could never support a theme park. In the Highlands, yes...no chance for a theme park there no doubt, but M&D's sits in the central belt, just ten miles near Glasgow, Scotland's biggest city, and sits quite comfortably in a populated area that would more or less keep the place busy. A question that does get asks as I mention it being close to Glasgow that it hasn't really expanded despite everyone knowing about it is simple. First is that most Scots I know all agree that it is crap and feel embarrassed by it, the other is that many Scots can simply head off down south or fly off to Europe to experience the so called proper theme parks, explains the very large Scottish crowd you see at Blackpool Pleasure Beach quite often.
And finally...
Can It Be Done?
The answer is yes...with quite a lot of arm twisting and money spending admittedly. Lanarkshire is undergoing a planned regeneration scheme by the Scottish Government, the timing couldn't be more perfect if someone was to come in about now and explain the proposal about the expanded park and the economic benefits for the area. It would tick a big box tourism wise for the area, plus with the SNP government wanting to really put Scotland way up there, the new owners could exploit the fact that the new park would restore Scotland's pride in theme parks and this would lead the SNP on a field day of having an unlikely symbol for Scottish confidence. It does sound crazy I know, but knowing the SNP I could see this happening really if Scottish pride is at stake.
I'm knowing saying that what I said would ever happen, hell I'm sure many on here would have various other ideas of what to do. It's just that unlike other theme parks, M&D's strangely is the only park that can really turn over a new leaf become something truly special if the new owners had big ambitions, a real life ugly duckling story no less! Though a man can dream, maybe someday we might see something like this...
Yes, Mack to Scotland please!
