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Celebrity Deaths 2025

Well, folks… by popular demand, mourners per hour is back! And this time, it’s Vatican City edition!

The procession seemed to be packed a bit more densely this time than in London, so it was harder to measure… but I still had a good crack!

As usual, Sky News unfortunately had to change the camera angle every few seconds, so it was hard to get an accurate reading, but by my best guess from 11 intervals, the throughput is approximately 1,016mph, or a mourner approximately every 3 seconds. People seem to hang around a bit longer in the Vatican; the Queen, by comparison, processed around 1,500mph.

If there are 20,000 in the queue as some of the news outlets claim, they’ve got a long 19.7 hour wait ahead of them!
 
How on earth did he last that long?

It just shows, it is the cutting agents that kill you, not the actual "leisure" drugs, or he would have been dead fifty years ago.
 
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