E
electricBlll
Dark rides are a passion of mine since they inspired me to get into theme parks as a child. I am continually fascinated by their potential to offer theatrical and immersive experiences. However, when I see all the great, mind-blowing dark rides built overseas today, they never quite satisfy that strange sense of fun that I learnt years ago from British theme parks. There was something different about British dark rides (or, rather, the early Tussaudes dark rides) that made them much weirder, more original and wittier than what I have seen anywhere else.
Unfortunately, as a result of general laziness and lack of public demand, very few dark rides get built in here anymore, and those that were created have been categorically ruined over time. For nostalgia's sake, I have written about a few that have captured my interest - some of which I never got to ride but which still fascinate me...
____________
The Fifth Dimension [1987]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0FAvrBqFbA#
A very rare video from the early 90s, offering a glimpse of what it was like.
Chessington had been a famous zoo for many decades, but in 1987 they tried their best to shed that image. Perhaps the most obvious symbol of Chessington's move towards being Britain's first proper 'theme park' was the opening of the Fifth Dimension - a massive, expensive and spectacular dark ride unlike anything designed for the UK before. It was a big gamble whether the public would even be interested in such a ride, let alone go to visit the newly opened Chessington "World of Adventures" just to ride it.
With the Fifth Dimension, John Wardley wanted to emulate the famous dark rides of Disney but with a zany twist that would make it appeal to British audiences. Tussaudes worked on a script with Douglas Adams to create a totally original story that could engage audiences and give the ride a quirky persona. The result was a rather comical science-fiction story of a computer repair robot doing battle with an evil television tech 'bug' named The Gorg, which seems to be representative of 1980s popular culture in general.
When it opened in June 1987, public reception was pretty positive and the characters well liked. However, as the time went by problems starting arising with the dark ride format. People were mislead by the huge metal warehouse, assuming it was some kind of indoor spacey rollercoaster, leading to disappointment at the slow-moving, narrative ride they found inside. Even small things, like sending round trains half empty or forgetting to close fire exits, resulted in an undermined experience that left some guests unenthused. In 1988, Chessington attempted to improve guest satisfaction by making the effects more spectacular and sets more immersive, including replacing the Gorg prop with a more grisly, evil looking creature. However, it seems that this did not solve the fundamental problem that people were not engaging in the story.
Unfortunately by 1993, it was decided that the Fifth Dimension had simply lost its place in the now well-established "World of Adventures", resulting in its surprisingly abrupt decommission after only 6.5 years of service. It seems strange, because no way would Chessington ever get rid of a great ride like this now - they would love to have such a valuable asset today. Ultimately, it was worth getting Terror Tomb, but such a shame The Fifth Dimension had to be sacrificed in the process. You could argue it was the best ride they ever built at Chessington...
___________
Professor Burp's BubbleWorks [1990]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6Co62a3dns#
A great video from the mid 90s, before much of the effects broke and the lighting changed.
John Wardley quickly learnt from the Fifth Dimension that grandiosity and storytelling was not necessarily the public's idea of 'fun'. When it came to building Chessington's second dark ride, a totally different approach to was considered. Rather than a blockbuster sci fi adventure, Professor Burp's BubbleWorks was treated as a carefree comic book from conception to creation - quite literally as they hired a gag writer to create all the puns. This gave the ride a kind of spontaneous, rude humour that appealed much more to the British public and achieved something very special indeed.
In concept, the ride was nothing new: a Willy Wonka-style tour through a magical factory, with riders floating in boats through an obvious metal warehouse. But so much inspiration and creativity went into its design that Professor Burp's BubbleWorks soon gained a personality of its own. Everything from the instantly addictive synth score by Graham Smart, to the surreal colours of the sets, down to the sweet smells in the air was so perfect and incredibly unique. In fact, it was such a rare instance of imagination triumphing over the norm that I believe such a ride can never be built again.
The brilliance of BubbleWorks was mostly down to John Wardley's collaborations with Keith Sparks, who together formed a wonderfully experimental attitude towards entertainment, which shows in the ride's design. Sure, why not have a magical fizzy pop factory on top of a haunted castle? Why not lift the boats up and drop them down a ramp? Why not have tunnels of fruit juice shooting over your head? It's impossible to explain why it was so good to anybody who didn't go on it. Photographs, videos and music alone just doesn't do it. What's more, it appealed to everybody in the boat, not just children, because it shared its sense of humour with everybody.
Ultimately, BubbleWorks was just so innocent that its time on this big bad world was limited, and it fell into a bad state by the start of the 21st century. Chessington, now under new management, couldn't be bothered to maintain the plethora of animations. In order to save maintenance costs, they planned a desecration to coincide with a new sponsorship by a toiletries company, using the money to buy a few ducks and advertise it as new. Or that's my interpretation anyway.
And so, a ride that capitalised on naughty childish humour became a ride about soap. They may as well have shut the ride to save it from its embarrassing fate. Having said that, Chessington have restored some aspects of the ride recently, particularly by bringing back some of the old music. It's fantastic to have the finale music back where it belongs, that inconceivably euphoric tune.
___________
The Haunted House [1992]
http://youtu.be/amfbSaMm0mo?t=30s
This is the only available footage of the Haunted House on its opening day, I believe.
Very much John Wardley's dream ride, the Haunted House was a magical pastiche of the traditional ghost train format: riders travel at speed and spooky ghoulish characters jump out from the shadows, while all sorts of mad gags and illusions play out before you. But this wasn't just any haunted house - it was the Alton Towers Haunted House, and was therefore more inventive and unique than any other ghost train in Britain. John Wardley's original scarier plans were toned down by Tussaudes who wanted to appeal to families, creating an irresistibly fun balance between sinister atmosphere and lighthearted fun.
Unfortunately the ride hit problems even before it opened. Sparks Group were perhaps too ambitious with the Haunted House, which lead to several ideas being changed at the last minute. For example, they began constructing the Tunnel of Doom set (trommel illusion) as the 'Entrance to Hell', before changing the hellish flames to the brick pattern as seen today; I can only assume they didn't think it was convincing enough. Also, the necessity for effects to reset and reanimate every 10 seconds for hours on end put a lot of strain on the simple mechanisms, meaning numerous props had to be altered straight away.
In the ride's second year, two major scenes were scrapped - the giant and flying ghost sequences. They were both replaced with new effects at short notice. By this time the sets and props had also been repainted from their iridescent UV colours to more 'realistic' shades, after Alton Towers decided the ride wasn't scary enough. As a result of these modifications, the ghouls lost some of their colourful personality.
The Haunted House received further alterations towards the late 90s, including some incongruously gruesome effects such as the splitting skin face and some gory zombies. Many effects disappeared altogether because of mechanical failures. The worst hit scene was the madcap finale set in a haunted swamp, which relied on a multitude of quickfire effects to generate a frantic pace; of course, when the effects didn't work, there wasn't much of a finale anymore.
Soon it was the 21st century, by which time Alton Towers had acquired Nemesis, Oblivion and Air - all of which totally overshadowed the ailing and failing Haunted House. Solution? Laser guns apparently. Also the swamp finale was walled in and filled with zombie props brought from TheHorrorDome.com (pathetic). Alas, the much of the House managed to survive the awful retheme, and year-by-year a little bit of the old magic creeps back in...
Terror Tomb [1994]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28S-47I2PgQ#
This video was filmed during the end of the ride's lifetime, when it was known as Forbidden Tomb.
By 1993, Tussaudes had decided the Fifth Dimension's time was up and a new dark ride was commissioned. This was a particularly tricky case, since they had to work with the existing transit system which had been tailored to The Fifth Dimension, while making sure not to repeat the former ride's problems. It was decided that a 'haunted' dark ride was more marketable than a sci fi story, leading to the idea of a ghost train/show ride fusion, with an Ancient Egyptian persona to fit with Chessington's "World of Adventures" image. The exterior was also elaborately dressed with a temple pylon facade and adjacent courtyard, featuring rope bridges, water features and religious Egyptian frescoes, to make it clear this ride was not an indoor rollercoaster. The focus was then shifted away from the story and towards the 'scares' to make the ride more entertaining.
Terror Tomb was certainly an odd project. In 1994 it was advertised as Chessington's 'newest family ride', yet I'm pretty sure any child who rode it that year would have been seriously disturbed! Not only were there some genuinely frightening scenes, but they had totally betrayed the likeable kitsch persona of the Fifth Dimension. Gone was Zappomatic, the quirky protagonist - now replaced by a very off-putting, shouting, murdurous Arab man called AbDab. Also, whereas the Fifth Dimension ended with good defeating evil, Terror Tomb's finale consisted of an evil undead alt rock band killing AbDab to the sound of "JukeBox Jewel" (definitely one of Graham Smart's crazier compositions)!
In many ways it was the cleverest and funniest ride in the park. Unfortunately, very few people share that kind of dark humour when it comes to theme parks, so it's no surprise that after a few years Chessington were looking to change it. In 2000 they altered a few scenes and gave it a new name, before trashing it completely with lasers in 2002. The tomb terrifies no more, now with an ill-fitting upbeat 'adventure' persona and a significant lack of mummies. At the time, many people (including myself) thought this was a good solution to tame such a rebellious ride, but the novelty of the lasers quickly wore off and now the ride is one big, boring... nothing.
Initially all the animatronics that were removed from Terror Tomb were secretly stored in the ride, but in 2010 somebody thought it would be a great idea to put them outside in Vampire's queueline (for the sake "theming" obviously : ). AbDab is certainly looking pretty pathetic these days, but at least he is on display, offering a glimpse of Chessington's mad past. Also, look closely during Tomb Blaster and you may spot a few old Terror Tomb props that have been put back...
Toyland Tours [1994]
http://youtu.be/OEdoaX_FC9w?t=10s
Another big refurbishment project in 1994 was Toyland Tours. After Alton Towers' move towards being a true 'theme park' in the early 90s, the comparatively generic 80s rides such as Around The World in 80 Days had become somewhat obsolete. Soon the entire ride was gutted and ideas for a new dark ride drawn up, to match the newly opened childrens area "The Land of Make Believe".
The finished ride was excessively animated and vibrant, sharing similarities with BubbleWorks in terms of the visual gags and factory theme. However, unlike BubbleWorks, Toyland Tours was clearly aimed solely at young children with its teddy bear imagery and friendly musical score. The park chose to coincide the opening of Toyland Tours with Nemesis, so as not to alienate its family audience.
Perhaps it was this orientation towards the most youngest of audiences that was the ride's undoing. Children's tastes quickly changed during the 21st century away from all things nice and cuddly (I should know!) and I imagine that Toyland Tours was beginning to feel quite dated. I distinctly remember choosing not to ride it during my first visits to Alton Towers, as the once-bright pink exterior, complete with worn out toy soldiers and balloons, actually put me off - despite me being the target audience at the time. The ride itself had also suffered from lack of maintenance in recent years, like most of Alton Towers during that dark period.
A refurbishment of some kind was inevitable. At first, it seemed Tussaudes were going to give it a proper big-budgeted treatment by gutting out the whole ride and starting again. They even planned new a pre-show and post-show to flesh out the experience. Ooh it was all very exciting, wasn't it? Too bad that by 2006 all traces of creative flair had disappeared from the British theme park industry, resulting in the commercialised, irritating mess that is "Charlie And The Chocolate Factory:- The Ride (TM)". In retrospect, they really should have just stuck with Toyland Tours...
________
And that's about it. The last 'magical' dark ride to be built was Hex - another ride which had to be significantly altered after opening. Thankfully Hex is still operating today, and still offers a great theatrical experience.
The time of great dark rides in Britain certainly didn't last long. When SubTerra opened in 2012 it only confirmed the inability of today's creatives to create a coherent, original and enjoyable British dark ride, although I do really enjoy the experience for what it's worth. I'm still looking forward to the days when proper, large scale, track-based dark rides are built in Britain again.
______
So... Who remembers these rides? I'm sure there are other notable examples too...
Unfortunately, as a result of general laziness and lack of public demand, very few dark rides get built in here anymore, and those that were created have been categorically ruined over time. For nostalgia's sake, I have written about a few that have captured my interest - some of which I never got to ride but which still fascinate me...
____________
The Fifth Dimension [1987]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0FAvrBqFbA#
A very rare video from the early 90s, offering a glimpse of what it was like.
Chessington had been a famous zoo for many decades, but in 1987 they tried their best to shed that image. Perhaps the most obvious symbol of Chessington's move towards being Britain's first proper 'theme park' was the opening of the Fifth Dimension - a massive, expensive and spectacular dark ride unlike anything designed for the UK before. It was a big gamble whether the public would even be interested in such a ride, let alone go to visit the newly opened Chessington "World of Adventures" just to ride it.
With the Fifth Dimension, John Wardley wanted to emulate the famous dark rides of Disney but with a zany twist that would make it appeal to British audiences. Tussaudes worked on a script with Douglas Adams to create a totally original story that could engage audiences and give the ride a quirky persona. The result was a rather comical science-fiction story of a computer repair robot doing battle with an evil television tech 'bug' named The Gorg, which seems to be representative of 1980s popular culture in general.
When it opened in June 1987, public reception was pretty positive and the characters well liked. However, as the time went by problems starting arising with the dark ride format. People were mislead by the huge metal warehouse, assuming it was some kind of indoor spacey rollercoaster, leading to disappointment at the slow-moving, narrative ride they found inside. Even small things, like sending round trains half empty or forgetting to close fire exits, resulted in an undermined experience that left some guests unenthused. In 1988, Chessington attempted to improve guest satisfaction by making the effects more spectacular and sets more immersive, including replacing the Gorg prop with a more grisly, evil looking creature. However, it seems that this did not solve the fundamental problem that people were not engaging in the story.
Unfortunately by 1993, it was decided that the Fifth Dimension had simply lost its place in the now well-established "World of Adventures", resulting in its surprisingly abrupt decommission after only 6.5 years of service. It seems strange, because no way would Chessington ever get rid of a great ride like this now - they would love to have such a valuable asset today. Ultimately, it was worth getting Terror Tomb, but such a shame The Fifth Dimension had to be sacrificed in the process. You could argue it was the best ride they ever built at Chessington...
___________
Professor Burp's BubbleWorks [1990]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6Co62a3dns#
A great video from the mid 90s, before much of the effects broke and the lighting changed.
John Wardley quickly learnt from the Fifth Dimension that grandiosity and storytelling was not necessarily the public's idea of 'fun'. When it came to building Chessington's second dark ride, a totally different approach to was considered. Rather than a blockbuster sci fi adventure, Professor Burp's BubbleWorks was treated as a carefree comic book from conception to creation - quite literally as they hired a gag writer to create all the puns. This gave the ride a kind of spontaneous, rude humour that appealed much more to the British public and achieved something very special indeed.
In concept, the ride was nothing new: a Willy Wonka-style tour through a magical factory, with riders floating in boats through an obvious metal warehouse. But so much inspiration and creativity went into its design that Professor Burp's BubbleWorks soon gained a personality of its own. Everything from the instantly addictive synth score by Graham Smart, to the surreal colours of the sets, down to the sweet smells in the air was so perfect and incredibly unique. In fact, it was such a rare instance of imagination triumphing over the norm that I believe such a ride can never be built again.
The brilliance of BubbleWorks was mostly down to John Wardley's collaborations with Keith Sparks, who together formed a wonderfully experimental attitude towards entertainment, which shows in the ride's design. Sure, why not have a magical fizzy pop factory on top of a haunted castle? Why not lift the boats up and drop them down a ramp? Why not have tunnels of fruit juice shooting over your head? It's impossible to explain why it was so good to anybody who didn't go on it. Photographs, videos and music alone just doesn't do it. What's more, it appealed to everybody in the boat, not just children, because it shared its sense of humour with everybody.
Ultimately, BubbleWorks was just so innocent that its time on this big bad world was limited, and it fell into a bad state by the start of the 21st century. Chessington, now under new management, couldn't be bothered to maintain the plethora of animations. In order to save maintenance costs, they planned a desecration to coincide with a new sponsorship by a toiletries company, using the money to buy a few ducks and advertise it as new. Or that's my interpretation anyway.
And so, a ride that capitalised on naughty childish humour became a ride about soap. They may as well have shut the ride to save it from its embarrassing fate. Having said that, Chessington have restored some aspects of the ride recently, particularly by bringing back some of the old music. It's fantastic to have the finale music back where it belongs, that inconceivably euphoric tune.
___________
The Haunted House [1992]
http://youtu.be/amfbSaMm0mo?t=30s
This is the only available footage of the Haunted House on its opening day, I believe.
Very much John Wardley's dream ride, the Haunted House was a magical pastiche of the traditional ghost train format: riders travel at speed and spooky ghoulish characters jump out from the shadows, while all sorts of mad gags and illusions play out before you. But this wasn't just any haunted house - it was the Alton Towers Haunted House, and was therefore more inventive and unique than any other ghost train in Britain. John Wardley's original scarier plans were toned down by Tussaudes who wanted to appeal to families, creating an irresistibly fun balance between sinister atmosphere and lighthearted fun.
Unfortunately the ride hit problems even before it opened. Sparks Group were perhaps too ambitious with the Haunted House, which lead to several ideas being changed at the last minute. For example, they began constructing the Tunnel of Doom set (trommel illusion) as the 'Entrance to Hell', before changing the hellish flames to the brick pattern as seen today; I can only assume they didn't think it was convincing enough. Also, the necessity for effects to reset and reanimate every 10 seconds for hours on end put a lot of strain on the simple mechanisms, meaning numerous props had to be altered straight away.
In the ride's second year, two major scenes were scrapped - the giant and flying ghost sequences. They were both replaced with new effects at short notice. By this time the sets and props had also been repainted from their iridescent UV colours to more 'realistic' shades, after Alton Towers decided the ride wasn't scary enough. As a result of these modifications, the ghouls lost some of their colourful personality.
The Haunted House received further alterations towards the late 90s, including some incongruously gruesome effects such as the splitting skin face and some gory zombies. Many effects disappeared altogether because of mechanical failures. The worst hit scene was the madcap finale set in a haunted swamp, which relied on a multitude of quickfire effects to generate a frantic pace; of course, when the effects didn't work, there wasn't much of a finale anymore.
Soon it was the 21st century, by which time Alton Towers had acquired Nemesis, Oblivion and Air - all of which totally overshadowed the ailing and failing Haunted House. Solution? Laser guns apparently. Also the swamp finale was walled in and filled with zombie props brought from TheHorrorDome.com (pathetic). Alas, the much of the House managed to survive the awful retheme, and year-by-year a little bit of the old magic creeps back in...
Terror Tomb [1994]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28S-47I2PgQ#
This video was filmed during the end of the ride's lifetime, when it was known as Forbidden Tomb.
By 1993, Tussaudes had decided the Fifth Dimension's time was up and a new dark ride was commissioned. This was a particularly tricky case, since they had to work with the existing transit system which had been tailored to The Fifth Dimension, while making sure not to repeat the former ride's problems. It was decided that a 'haunted' dark ride was more marketable than a sci fi story, leading to the idea of a ghost train/show ride fusion, with an Ancient Egyptian persona to fit with Chessington's "World of Adventures" image. The exterior was also elaborately dressed with a temple pylon facade and adjacent courtyard, featuring rope bridges, water features and religious Egyptian frescoes, to make it clear this ride was not an indoor rollercoaster. The focus was then shifted away from the story and towards the 'scares' to make the ride more entertaining.
Terror Tomb was certainly an odd project. In 1994 it was advertised as Chessington's 'newest family ride', yet I'm pretty sure any child who rode it that year would have been seriously disturbed! Not only were there some genuinely frightening scenes, but they had totally betrayed the likeable kitsch persona of the Fifth Dimension. Gone was Zappomatic, the quirky protagonist - now replaced by a very off-putting, shouting, murdurous Arab man called AbDab. Also, whereas the Fifth Dimension ended with good defeating evil, Terror Tomb's finale consisted of an evil undead alt rock band killing AbDab to the sound of "JukeBox Jewel" (definitely one of Graham Smart's crazier compositions)!
In many ways it was the cleverest and funniest ride in the park. Unfortunately, very few people share that kind of dark humour when it comes to theme parks, so it's no surprise that after a few years Chessington were looking to change it. In 2000 they altered a few scenes and gave it a new name, before trashing it completely with lasers in 2002. The tomb terrifies no more, now with an ill-fitting upbeat 'adventure' persona and a significant lack of mummies. At the time, many people (including myself) thought this was a good solution to tame such a rebellious ride, but the novelty of the lasers quickly wore off and now the ride is one big, boring... nothing.
Initially all the animatronics that were removed from Terror Tomb were secretly stored in the ride, but in 2010 somebody thought it would be a great idea to put them outside in Vampire's queueline (for the sake "theming" obviously : ). AbDab is certainly looking pretty pathetic these days, but at least he is on display, offering a glimpse of Chessington's mad past. Also, look closely during Tomb Blaster and you may spot a few old Terror Tomb props that have been put back...
Toyland Tours [1994]
http://youtu.be/OEdoaX_FC9w?t=10s
Another big refurbishment project in 1994 was Toyland Tours. After Alton Towers' move towards being a true 'theme park' in the early 90s, the comparatively generic 80s rides such as Around The World in 80 Days had become somewhat obsolete. Soon the entire ride was gutted and ideas for a new dark ride drawn up, to match the newly opened childrens area "The Land of Make Believe".
The finished ride was excessively animated and vibrant, sharing similarities with BubbleWorks in terms of the visual gags and factory theme. However, unlike BubbleWorks, Toyland Tours was clearly aimed solely at young children with its teddy bear imagery and friendly musical score. The park chose to coincide the opening of Toyland Tours with Nemesis, so as not to alienate its family audience.
Perhaps it was this orientation towards the most youngest of audiences that was the ride's undoing. Children's tastes quickly changed during the 21st century away from all things nice and cuddly (I should know!) and I imagine that Toyland Tours was beginning to feel quite dated. I distinctly remember choosing not to ride it during my first visits to Alton Towers, as the once-bright pink exterior, complete with worn out toy soldiers and balloons, actually put me off - despite me being the target audience at the time. The ride itself had also suffered from lack of maintenance in recent years, like most of Alton Towers during that dark period.
A refurbishment of some kind was inevitable. At first, it seemed Tussaudes were going to give it a proper big-budgeted treatment by gutting out the whole ride and starting again. They even planned new a pre-show and post-show to flesh out the experience. Ooh it was all very exciting, wasn't it? Too bad that by 2006 all traces of creative flair had disappeared from the British theme park industry, resulting in the commercialised, irritating mess that is "Charlie And The Chocolate Factory:- The Ride (TM)". In retrospect, they really should have just stuck with Toyland Tours...
________
And that's about it. The last 'magical' dark ride to be built was Hex - another ride which had to be significantly altered after opening. Thankfully Hex is still operating today, and still offers a great theatrical experience.
The time of great dark rides in Britain certainly didn't last long. When SubTerra opened in 2012 it only confirmed the inability of today's creatives to create a coherent, original and enjoyable British dark ride, although I do really enjoy the experience for what it's worth. I'm still looking forward to the days when proper, large scale, track-based dark rides are built in Britain again.
______
So... Who remembers these rides? I'm sure there are other notable examples too...