The_bup
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Professor Burp’s Bubbleworks
3000 character limit? What is this, twitter?
Anyway, as I was SAYING; it’s impressive how airline companies make multi-million pound machines feel like they’re being held together with duct tape and glue. Or maybe they are if those Boeing whistleblowers are right…
So, to kill some time and keep me awake, I watched some stuff.
The first thing I watched was four documentaries on how they made the Disney rides.
The first one was on the jungle cruise, and I didn’t know too much about how they made it. I knew Disneyland was pretty much eyeballed construction-wise, but I had know idea they dug out the trench on the detailed markings of: a man with a stick. I also had no idea how ‘educational’ it was meant to be originally. I suppose in todays modern world of travel though, people are conscious the whole thing is basically fantasy, what some white dude saw of the whole thing. This switch was when Marc davis got involved, making the more familiar ride that we know today. Also, the rock was in it. He was doing his whole ‘i don’t know what I’m talking about’ type thing he usually does (like lying EVERY year that he has never tried an in-and-out burger, and makes a video EVERY year where he pretends it’s his first ever one). I don’t think the Rock is the worst thing to come out of Hollywood, it’s just he’s a bit of a narcissistic megalomaniac. I think he’s had a few screws loose after the whole Black Adam ‘the power hierarchy of the DC universe is about to change’ thing. He basically lies about everything now. He’s not an actor, he’s a chief bullshitter.
Second up was the space mountain one. Admittedly, I didn’t remember too much about it. Half of it was it just getting canceled and delayed because block zone tech wasn’t there yet. It’s just a coaster in the dark, there isn’t too much details about it. Everyone likes it, but it’s no-ones favourite.
Next was the haunted mansion! Yet again I knew everything (and more!) about what they where talking about, and that’s fine, Im just sad.
Finally, I watched the Tower of Terror one. This one intrigued me, as some things felt a bit off. Tower of Terror is probably the Disney ride I gravitate to most, so I knew a lot. The documentary entirely skipped the Mel brooks concepts, including the young Frankenstein one. The more interesting bit was about the Guardians Of The Galaxy re-theme at DCA, as apparently joe rhode worked on it. My mum also watched this one and could not get over his left ear, but to be fair, that thing looked like it was going to snap at any moment. Through the Corporate Jargon, I saw that the ride was really rushed. They had 11 months to sort it out, and the ride being as good as it is for the time they had was extremely impressive. I had no idea what he was talking about with the façade though, I get the abstracting it to its basic non-hotel-y shapes The Ride had, but it does not look like a fortress. When I look at mission breakout from the outside, the ride actually looks like a scaled up 90’s computer graphics card that’s been corroded by mites for 20 years. The acting that the guardians cast did for the ride stinks, I find it so odd how their performances can change from really good in the movies to GCSE drama a few days apart from each other. And trust me, I know what it looks like. Chris Pratt does his signature kind of ‘man I spent hours of my life stomping.. (in which he takes in a short breath and checks his script for a good two seconds) KOOPAS’ performance. But not you rocket. You did good.
The whole series was produced by the rock? What!?
I also watched a Movie. Had the most straightforward name of all time ‘The Girl Who Leaped Through Time’ , and she certainly does that. The plot in short is this average - slightly below average girl who gains time travel powers - but they are limited. She spends the first half of the movie dicking about with it and making her day absolutely perfect, as you would, but realises that every misfortune that she deflects seems to land on someone else, which snowballs out of control. So she has to go back to set everything right, even if that does involve some people having a few bad times. And some twists!
I thought the movie was clever, and basically an anime version of Back To The Future with some vehicular manslaughter. Go watch it, it’s good.
Flight over! I’m back home.
Now here comes the fun part; reviewing a country.
In terms of culture shock, you’ll be fine. Its quite similar to America really. They have American brands, not as in international ones like McDonald’s or Coca Cola, but things like 7/11, among more. Their cities are built on a block system, they have expensive healthcare and if they can speak English they have an American twang to them. I’d keep a few things in mind, however;
The machines talk at you
Every toilet is a bidet
Your intestines might not like the food. The last point will make that a bit more manageable .
Extreme service quality
Massage chairs
Gacha machines
Taking your shoes off on wood
Not tipping people - it’s rude
Pachinko. No fruities here
The ads are weird
The bugs are very loud
Other than those admittedly trivial things, it’s all quite familiar. In fact, most things are available in English, despite most Japanese people not knowing English. They’ll do that thing that we do, when you’ll be trying to use google translate or something, and then they just keep talking at you in Japanese. Translation quality is variable, though. ‘Keep your spune straight’, ‘feet: 178cm’, ‘this ride simulates intense acrobatics’ and ‘people caught trying to take items on thunder dolphin will be excluded from using the parks facilities’. The last one is not that bad, but it’s quite funny.
It’s very clean. They have a very Honour based culture, which is great because people strive to do a bit more than just make a crap ton of money, but can also be pretty horrible if you’re not inherently skilled immediately. Not everyone came be the cream of the crop, so there’s quite a bit of nasty stuff that can happen if you aren’t the best, but that’s a more traditional way of thinking that is starting to shift. Of course, this won’t affect your little grand tour, but it’s interesting.
As a result, the streets are spotless. They’re particular like that. There aren’t any rough looking people, in fact, the very few homeless people I saw looked cleaner than a lot of ‘roadmen’ I see walking about at home. It feels safe too! You don’t think ‘oh I bet they’re on the county lines’ or ‘I bet they have a nuclear relationship with their father’, instead you think… not a lot. They seem like functional members of society! Of course, my first question was where the rest of the homeless people are… hmmm. I’ve also heard the criminal prosecution system is complete booty cheeks, so just behave well, savvy?
Also, fun little fact, they’ve had the same party in the government for quite a while, with two exceptions
The hospitality business takes no prisoners here. The staff at restaurants and stuff are A level compared to even the best over here. I don’t think I could survive doing that. They have perfect posture, quick service and seem to always go the extra mile. In fact, it can be quite overbearing and a little freaky at times. I’m not a new people kind of person. I can get a little stand-offish, but that wasn’t a problem with the language barrier. I do need to fix that. One time I walked around smiling and a member of my family asked if I was feeling okay…
I’d like to roll a little over one subject, mostly to disprove one specific person who will probably never read this. Anime culture.
Anime is just nerd culture in Japan. I’d put it like this; you may of watched Star Wars. You may of like The Lord Of The Rings. But I’ll say this; can you say if you’re ‘in’ or ‘out’? Because with these things like Star Trek, there’s people who are very much into it. You may love the original Star Wars trilogy, but have you binged the entirety of the Clone Wars and collect the classic comics? And it’s the same with anime in Japan. Anime is huge - of course it is, but it’s a very are you in or out situation with it. So ha! Silly fantasy movies are also a terrible way to learn any actual culture.
There is plenty of things to do there, from eating, entertainment and retail. You’ll see tourist running around going on boat tours, wearing kimonos (which I could NEVER!), to some Japanese favourites like karaoke and bowling (interestingly enough). Convenience is big too. It’s full of convenience shops, and if you need something you can probably get it out of a machine. You need some food? Shop. Want to have a nap? I’m sure a hotel has room for one more? Water? Why not try one of their refrigerated vending machines? Interestingly, they have little models of the things you can buy out of the machines instead of showing the mechanism. Outside restaurants they’ll have little sculptures of what’s on the menu, as well as the menu itself. But that’s off topic. But of course, there’s Don Quijote of you want.. fucking anything, they have it.
I’d say Tokyo was my favourite. I liked having everything in different streets, where as in Osaka you had Don Quijote, karaoke and a romantic French-like gondolier operator in the same metre square. I’d rather have them all separate, like in Tokyo, so I don’t walk out of our lord and saviour (Don Quijote’s) temple and immediately have a 50ft digital screen bombard my retinas with an advert for a Gacha game where you spent filthy amounts of money on animie boobies.
Speaking of which, I have a few problems.
Plastic. There’s too much. Is all the convenience really worth it?
Social issues. Oh, they’re still real.
Oh my god it is too hot
However, there are some things i feel I missed. We didn’t spend an awful amount of time in places outside of Tokyo, and that’s fine, it’s just they pack a lot of things to see in a small amount of space
Things I’d do next time:
Karaoke bar
Do universal properly
Disney
Pack more shrapnel for Gacha machines
Leave more space in my suitcase
DON QUIJOTE NEOTEMPLE
About all that, it’s probably one of the only action-packed holidays I’ve done where I’ve been reeling to do more after we left. I love it there, great holiday. I’d recommend it to… actually not everyone. But if you are in the slightest bit curious about what this little island entails, scrape the money together and pack your bags! Although if you’re anything like me, don’t scrape all the money, as some of the fun is buying stuff and eating fancy food.
Thanks for reading, I’ve retroactively proof read all of it now, and let me tell you, how did you know what was going on? I sounded like a monkey on a typewriter! Not making the complete works of Shakespeare, might I add. Meme bees? What was I on about? It’s members! Might I wager half of that was autocorrect being a bit spasticated?
Honourable mention: The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. Particularly it’s area music. The echo-ey 1930’s ballroom jazz tracks are calm enough for me to unwind and relax the screaming ‘tism in me, and also is spooky enough to accompany me drawing my usual horrible creatures. Side effects of this included me now knowing an hours worth of 1930’s jazz (‘when the sun sets down south’ is a BANGER and you can’t deny it!)
That’s it. That’s all of it. You can go home now. There isn’t any post credits scene where I introduce a new threat or anything. Thanks.
Anyway, as I was SAYING; it’s impressive how airline companies make multi-million pound machines feel like they’re being held together with duct tape and glue. Or maybe they are if those Boeing whistleblowers are right…
So, to kill some time and keep me awake, I watched some stuff.
The first thing I watched was four documentaries on how they made the Disney rides.
The first one was on the jungle cruise, and I didn’t know too much about how they made it. I knew Disneyland was pretty much eyeballed construction-wise, but I had know idea they dug out the trench on the detailed markings of: a man with a stick. I also had no idea how ‘educational’ it was meant to be originally. I suppose in todays modern world of travel though, people are conscious the whole thing is basically fantasy, what some white dude saw of the whole thing. This switch was when Marc davis got involved, making the more familiar ride that we know today. Also, the rock was in it. He was doing his whole ‘i don’t know what I’m talking about’ type thing he usually does (like lying EVERY year that he has never tried an in-and-out burger, and makes a video EVERY year where he pretends it’s his first ever one). I don’t think the Rock is the worst thing to come out of Hollywood, it’s just he’s a bit of a narcissistic megalomaniac. I think he’s had a few screws loose after the whole Black Adam ‘the power hierarchy of the DC universe is about to change’ thing. He basically lies about everything now. He’s not an actor, he’s a chief bullshitter.
Second up was the space mountain one. Admittedly, I didn’t remember too much about it. Half of it was it just getting canceled and delayed because block zone tech wasn’t there yet. It’s just a coaster in the dark, there isn’t too much details about it. Everyone likes it, but it’s no-ones favourite.
Next was the haunted mansion! Yet again I knew everything (and more!) about what they where talking about, and that’s fine, Im just sad.
Finally, I watched the Tower of Terror one. This one intrigued me, as some things felt a bit off. Tower of Terror is probably the Disney ride I gravitate to most, so I knew a lot. The documentary entirely skipped the Mel brooks concepts, including the young Frankenstein one. The more interesting bit was about the Guardians Of The Galaxy re-theme at DCA, as apparently joe rhode worked on it. My mum also watched this one and could not get over his left ear, but to be fair, that thing looked like it was going to snap at any moment. Through the Corporate Jargon, I saw that the ride was really rushed. They had 11 months to sort it out, and the ride being as good as it is for the time they had was extremely impressive. I had no idea what he was talking about with the façade though, I get the abstracting it to its basic non-hotel-y shapes The Ride had, but it does not look like a fortress. When I look at mission breakout from the outside, the ride actually looks like a scaled up 90’s computer graphics card that’s been corroded by mites for 20 years. The acting that the guardians cast did for the ride stinks, I find it so odd how their performances can change from really good in the movies to GCSE drama a few days apart from each other. And trust me, I know what it looks like. Chris Pratt does his signature kind of ‘man I spent hours of my life stomping.. (in which he takes in a short breath and checks his script for a good two seconds) KOOPAS’ performance. But not you rocket. You did good.
The whole series was produced by the rock? What!?
I also watched a Movie. Had the most straightforward name of all time ‘The Girl Who Leaped Through Time’ , and she certainly does that. The plot in short is this average - slightly below average girl who gains time travel powers - but they are limited. She spends the first half of the movie dicking about with it and making her day absolutely perfect, as you would, but realises that every misfortune that she deflects seems to land on someone else, which snowballs out of control. So she has to go back to set everything right, even if that does involve some people having a few bad times. And some twists!
I thought the movie was clever, and basically an anime version of Back To The Future with some vehicular manslaughter. Go watch it, it’s good.
Flight over! I’m back home.
Now here comes the fun part; reviewing a country.
In terms of culture shock, you’ll be fine. Its quite similar to America really. They have American brands, not as in international ones like McDonald’s or Coca Cola, but things like 7/11, among more. Their cities are built on a block system, they have expensive healthcare and if they can speak English they have an American twang to them. I’d keep a few things in mind, however;
The machines talk at you
Every toilet is a bidet
Your intestines might not like the food. The last point will make that a bit more manageable .
Extreme service quality
Massage chairs
Gacha machines
Taking your shoes off on wood
Not tipping people - it’s rude
Pachinko. No fruities here
The ads are weird
The bugs are very loud
Other than those admittedly trivial things, it’s all quite familiar. In fact, most things are available in English, despite most Japanese people not knowing English. They’ll do that thing that we do, when you’ll be trying to use google translate or something, and then they just keep talking at you in Japanese. Translation quality is variable, though. ‘Keep your spune straight’, ‘feet: 178cm’, ‘this ride simulates intense acrobatics’ and ‘people caught trying to take items on thunder dolphin will be excluded from using the parks facilities’. The last one is not that bad, but it’s quite funny.
It’s very clean. They have a very Honour based culture, which is great because people strive to do a bit more than just make a crap ton of money, but can also be pretty horrible if you’re not inherently skilled immediately. Not everyone came be the cream of the crop, so there’s quite a bit of nasty stuff that can happen if you aren’t the best, but that’s a more traditional way of thinking that is starting to shift. Of course, this won’t affect your little grand tour, but it’s interesting.
As a result, the streets are spotless. They’re particular like that. There aren’t any rough looking people, in fact, the very few homeless people I saw looked cleaner than a lot of ‘roadmen’ I see walking about at home. It feels safe too! You don’t think ‘oh I bet they’re on the county lines’ or ‘I bet they have a nuclear relationship with their father’, instead you think… not a lot. They seem like functional members of society! Of course, my first question was where the rest of the homeless people are… hmmm. I’ve also heard the criminal prosecution system is complete booty cheeks, so just behave well, savvy?
Also, fun little fact, they’ve had the same party in the government for quite a while, with two exceptions
The hospitality business takes no prisoners here. The staff at restaurants and stuff are A level compared to even the best over here. I don’t think I could survive doing that. They have perfect posture, quick service and seem to always go the extra mile. In fact, it can be quite overbearing and a little freaky at times. I’m not a new people kind of person. I can get a little stand-offish, but that wasn’t a problem with the language barrier. I do need to fix that. One time I walked around smiling and a member of my family asked if I was feeling okay…
I’d like to roll a little over one subject, mostly to disprove one specific person who will probably never read this. Anime culture.
Anime is just nerd culture in Japan. I’d put it like this; you may of watched Star Wars. You may of like The Lord Of The Rings. But I’ll say this; can you say if you’re ‘in’ or ‘out’? Because with these things like Star Trek, there’s people who are very much into it. You may love the original Star Wars trilogy, but have you binged the entirety of the Clone Wars and collect the classic comics? And it’s the same with anime in Japan. Anime is huge - of course it is, but it’s a very are you in or out situation with it. So ha! Silly fantasy movies are also a terrible way to learn any actual culture.
There is plenty of things to do there, from eating, entertainment and retail. You’ll see tourist running around going on boat tours, wearing kimonos (which I could NEVER!), to some Japanese favourites like karaoke and bowling (interestingly enough). Convenience is big too. It’s full of convenience shops, and if you need something you can probably get it out of a machine. You need some food? Shop. Want to have a nap? I’m sure a hotel has room for one more? Water? Why not try one of their refrigerated vending machines? Interestingly, they have little models of the things you can buy out of the machines instead of showing the mechanism. Outside restaurants they’ll have little sculptures of what’s on the menu, as well as the menu itself. But that’s off topic. But of course, there’s Don Quijote of you want.. fucking anything, they have it.
I’d say Tokyo was my favourite. I liked having everything in different streets, where as in Osaka you had Don Quijote, karaoke and a romantic French-like gondolier operator in the same metre square. I’d rather have them all separate, like in Tokyo, so I don’t walk out of our lord and saviour (Don Quijote’s) temple and immediately have a 50ft digital screen bombard my retinas with an advert for a Gacha game where you spent filthy amounts of money on animie boobies.
Speaking of which, I have a few problems.
Plastic. There’s too much. Is all the convenience really worth it?
Social issues. Oh, they’re still real.
Oh my god it is too hot
However, there are some things i feel I missed. We didn’t spend an awful amount of time in places outside of Tokyo, and that’s fine, it’s just they pack a lot of things to see in a small amount of space
Things I’d do next time:
Karaoke bar
Do universal properly
Disney
Pack more shrapnel for Gacha machines
Leave more space in my suitcase
DON QUIJOTE NEOTEMPLE
About all that, it’s probably one of the only action-packed holidays I’ve done where I’ve been reeling to do more after we left. I love it there, great holiday. I’d recommend it to… actually not everyone. But if you are in the slightest bit curious about what this little island entails, scrape the money together and pack your bags! Although if you’re anything like me, don’t scrape all the money, as some of the fun is buying stuff and eating fancy food.
Thanks for reading, I’ve retroactively proof read all of it now, and let me tell you, how did you know what was going on? I sounded like a monkey on a typewriter! Not making the complete works of Shakespeare, might I add. Meme bees? What was I on about? It’s members! Might I wager half of that was autocorrect being a bit spasticated?
Honourable mention: The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. Particularly it’s area music. The echo-ey 1930’s ballroom jazz tracks are calm enough for me to unwind and relax the screaming ‘tism in me, and also is spooky enough to accompany me drawing my usual horrible creatures. Side effects of this included me now knowing an hours worth of 1930’s jazz (‘when the sun sets down south’ is a BANGER and you can’t deny it!)
That’s it. That’s all of it. You can go home now. There isn’t any post credits scene where I introduce a new threat or anything. Thanks.
