I’m half tempted to ask my instructor for a motorway lesson if I eventually pass my test. I do feel like going on the motorway with her, or at very least with someone else sat beside me, would be beneficial and would make me feel less anxious about my first drive on the motorway. I’d rather not do it for the first time when attempting some big long journey on my own!
I won’t be passing just yet, though. I now know for certain that I won’t be in the “passed second time” club either… for the last 2 weeks or so, I’ve actually managed to keep the secret from the internet that my second test was today.
I failed once again… I got 2 majors and 6 minors. To me, the drive felt absolutely terrible, and far worse than my first one, even though I actually got fewer minors than I did the first time. My main problem, as diagnosed by both my instructor and even the examiner herself, was that I was incredibly anxious and tense. I had wound myself up into a right flap before even getting in the car.
My anxiety meant that I committed my first major within seconds of the test starting… I scored a spectacular own goal by pulling off with my handbrake on. When I pulled off, the car was flashing and beeping at me and it was driving weirdly, but I was too flustered to realise why. The examiner then informed me that I’d left my handbrake on, and I then broke sharply out of panic to turn it off. I pretty much knew instantly that I’d failed… the handbrake being left on was a major, but surprisingly, the sharp braking was only a minor. I’ve driven countless times now, and I think that’s the only time I’ve ever tried to pull off without turning my handbrake off…
My other major came towards the end of the test, when I encountered a parked lorry with its hazard warning lights on. I went to go around it, and just as I was coming out, another lorry turned into the road and had to wait for me… so I immediately got a major because they had to stop for me.
Reassuringly, though, the examiner did tell me that the rest of the drive was “not bad at all”. She said that I “can clearly do it”, but that I need a way of dealing with my nerves. My instructor agreed, and suggested that before my next test, I try taking Rescue Remedy 3 times a day for a week to help calm my nerves. She said that Rescue Remedy has really helped some of her previous pupils who’ve suffered with test anxiety.
Despite the encouragement from the examiner and my instructor, it is still utterly demoralising to have learned for so long (I’m now up to 21 months of learning!) and failed two tests…