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If you had a choice - Relationships
- Thread starter BigDave
- Start date
Rose Of Dawn
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Eejanaika (Fuji-Q Highland)
I don't know how you could only choose one, being honest. I probably wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who was strikingly good looking, yet were a complete monster to me. On the other had, I could be with someone who's lovely and kind, but if there's no physical attraction it wouldn't last.
I suppose if I had to pick then....money. I could do with some more money in my life anyways.
I suppose if I had to pick then....money. I could do with some more money in my life anyways.
James
TS Founding Member
Well obviously personality. As I'm sure many will say the same too. No one is likely to openly admit publicly that they would just date someone for their wealth. Although I do know a fair few people that choose money over anything else.
I'm always attracted to people because of their personality. Although you've got to be realistic, we ALWAYS base people on looks at first, it's the first thing to judge a person on. You can tell whether they clean often, if they take care of themselves, how well groomed they are... looks will always be the first aspect.
While looks do come first, I always aim to look past this, I like to know what's beneath - who they are as a person. This is where the real beauty of someone comes out. You can have someone that looks stunning looks wise but the minute you learn more about them they become rude, arrogant and someone you're unlikely to ever view more than just a physically pleasing person. Then you could have someone that is 'ugly' (by stereotypical society standards) yet their personality is amazing and attracts you greatly. On the other hand you could have a mid-way mark. But that does not matter to me, personality beats everything.
Money will always be a part of a relationship that comes in to it. After all, if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone you want to be financially stable with them, right? But then I suppose this is where I'm a fool (or not), I always look past this. At the end of the day, if I like someone, if I have a connection with someone, if I love someone - then whatever obstacles come between the relationship I will fight through because at the end of the day you can't let the rest of your life ruin you loving and being with someone else.
I'm always attracted to people because of their personality. Although you've got to be realistic, we ALWAYS base people on looks at first, it's the first thing to judge a person on. You can tell whether they clean often, if they take care of themselves, how well groomed they are... looks will always be the first aspect.
While looks do come first, I always aim to look past this, I like to know what's beneath - who they are as a person. This is where the real beauty of someone comes out. You can have someone that looks stunning looks wise but the minute you learn more about them they become rude, arrogant and someone you're unlikely to ever view more than just a physically pleasing person. Then you could have someone that is 'ugly' (by stereotypical society standards) yet their personality is amazing and attracts you greatly. On the other hand you could have a mid-way mark. But that does not matter to me, personality beats everything.
Money will always be a part of a relationship that comes in to it. After all, if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone you want to be financially stable with them, right? But then I suppose this is where I'm a fool (or not), I always look past this. At the end of the day, if I like someone, if I have a connection with someone, if I love someone - then whatever obstacles come between the relationship I will fight through because at the end of the day you can't let the rest of your life ruin you loving and being with someone else.
Rowe
TS Member
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I find it very hard to vote for either option when they're all vague and cliche of what a relationship supposedly means. There are an awful lots of combinations you can make up here with each partner being totally different from the other in many ways but can be equally aggressive or passive over what you want; You could have somebody with just one of those 'elements' who has the potential to treat you awfully and not feel sorry about it. There is no straight up, simple or straight forward answer!
Just one of many important things about a serious relationship is the attraction. That is romantic, emotional and physical. All of which will let you know when you see that person who is right for you and who mutually feels that attraction back so long as the effort is made on both sides. It isn't a case of weighing up pros and cons against another person, it'll just happen either as love at first sight or gradually growing from strength to strength into love.
Another is that no matter their traits, if they've been seen as ugly or annoying or terribly poor by others, that you will always love them for who they are and not attempt to see them as a completely different person. Sure, you will have moments of frustration with them but those moments won't last for long so long as the problems and issues are worked through and you remember at the end why you love that person.
Yes, serious relationships and love is tough work and it will take you time to find that one person but it's worth it in the long run.
Just one of many important things about a serious relationship is the attraction. That is romantic, emotional and physical. All of which will let you know when you see that person who is right for you and who mutually feels that attraction back so long as the effort is made on both sides. It isn't a case of weighing up pros and cons against another person, it'll just happen either as love at first sight or gradually growing from strength to strength into love.
Another is that no matter their traits, if they've been seen as ugly or annoying or terribly poor by others, that you will always love them for who they are and not attempt to see them as a completely different person. Sure, you will have moments of frustration with them but those moments won't last for long so long as the problems and issues are worked through and you remember at the end why you love that person.
Yes, serious relationships and love is tough work and it will take you time to find that one person but it's worth it in the long run.
Simon said:
Maybe your footman could learn a thing or two?
For me it was a case of the personality making me feel physically attracted to the wife, in my opinion money only comes into it when you need to consider getting a mortgage and bringing kids into the equation. I could be homeless and still in love like a soppy little mofo!
EuroSatch
TS Member
James said:
I disagree, and I know I have edited out where you said you don't follow this rule, but if you are in love with someone, and they suddenly fall flat on their face financially, then would they be thrown to the kerb because that financial stability has been taken away?
I'm talking about this being of not fault of the person in question by the way, but if they were made redundant, or suddenly unable to work etc
James
TS Founding Member
That was a general question of mine generalising people's views towards money and relationships.
I've probay been unlucky but I've been 'dumped' in the past for not being stable financially and past exes of mine have ended my relationships with them because they haven't been stable.
I'll love someone either way, like I said in my post I work through any obstacals to make the relationship work. Although from past experiences I haven't found anyone that shares the same kind of viewpoint.
I've probay been unlucky but I've been 'dumped' in the past for not being stable financially and past exes of mine have ended my relationships with them because they haven't been stable.
I'll love someone either way, like I said in my post I work through any obstacals to make the relationship work. Although from past experiences I haven't found anyone that shares the same kind of viewpoint.
Jem8472
TS Member
There is a difference between being good with money and planning for your future and getting unlucky losing your job and having money problems. I think I would struggle to be with someone that is careless and reckless with money. I used to spend money on anything I wanted, but now because I have a mortgage and all that I have to be careful what I spend.
I don't get to theme parks as much as I would like. My car is 10 years old even though I could just go and get finance and buy a newer car, but I have to plan for other things.
Relationships are hard and one small thing can cause the destruction of even very good relationships. As some of you know I have recently had some serious problems to work through. I feel the fact that we are good together and we have a good solid relationship has probably saved us. There are just too many little things that go in to making a relationship work to put in a poll but this poll has brought on a good debate.
I don't get to theme parks as much as I would like. My car is 10 years old even though I could just go and get finance and buy a newer car, but I have to plan for other things.
Relationships are hard and one small thing can cause the destruction of even very good relationships. As some of you know I have recently had some serious problems to work through. I feel the fact that we are good together and we have a good solid relationship has probably saved us. There are just too many little things that go in to making a relationship work to put in a poll but this poll has brought on a good debate.
Stelios
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Nemesis
I would have to say personality for many of us due to picking the "right option" and for the fact that we all have quirky personalities ourselves and are a smart bunch. We can see into people well. Personality all the way, also you could get a great personality and one of the other ones!
I'm of the opinion that if you love someone for their personality, you don't need lots of money because their presence already enriches your life, and you don't care about the conventional standards of beauty as they become the most beautiful thing in the world to you, regardless of their appearance.
Now don't mind me, I'm off to write cheesy and over sentimental valentines day cards.
Now don't mind me, I'm off to write cheesy and over sentimental valentines day cards.
damos1indisguise
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Valhalla
I had to choose looks as mainly you will always go wow you look great first, Then of course personality is a must have.
As for the money, I am one who would never go with anyone despite how rich they are just because they are rich, In my view a persons money is mostly to be spent by the person who earned it, Obviously split incomes on bills and the likes.
But when it comes to things like social life then you should only be spending what you earn and not relying on a partner to be paying for you, Maybe the odd oh I am low on cash at the moment but then of course if they was too at some point it would be nice to not expect as such but for the favour to be returned.
Benefit wise I strongly feel it is unfair that if someone is in a relationship but are unable to do work due to disabilities but wanted to get married or declared as living together as though married then most of their benefits will stop? Why should this be allowed? as it basically means now you are married your partner should be expected to 'keep' you on the basis of you cannot work yet we feel any income should be joint income so say you have a partner on a few thousand a week wage, Yet you get a disabled person on a few thousand a year then is the disabled person either expected to live of their partners wage or be forced to have no life?
As for the money, I am one who would never go with anyone despite how rich they are just because they are rich, In my view a persons money is mostly to be spent by the person who earned it, Obviously split incomes on bills and the likes.
But when it comes to things like social life then you should only be spending what you earn and not relying on a partner to be paying for you, Maybe the odd oh I am low on cash at the moment but then of course if they was too at some point it would be nice to not expect as such but for the favour to be returned.
Benefit wise I strongly feel it is unfair that if someone is in a relationship but are unable to do work due to disabilities but wanted to get married or declared as living together as though married then most of their benefits will stop? Why should this be allowed? as it basically means now you are married your partner should be expected to 'keep' you on the basis of you cannot work yet we feel any income should be joint income so say you have a partner on a few thousand a week wage, Yet you get a disabled person on a few thousand a year then is the disabled person either expected to live of their partners wage or be forced to have no life?
Scott
Former TS Team Member
- Favourite Ride
- Nemesis
I'm on mobile and can't see the poll... But from the other thread responses I can guess the options. Love relies on many different factors, which have been listed above and it is a combination of physical attraction, personalities that 'click' and much more that make a solid thing.
I'm incredibly lucky in that my girlfriend feels like my best friend - if you can feel that about someone you're in love with then I think you've got it made
I'm incredibly lucky in that my girlfriend feels like my best friend - if you can feel that about someone you're in love with then I think you've got it made
