Hi All,
Just a review of my visit on 29th/May/2023, our last visit was pre-covid so its been quite a while!
Me and my partner are in our mid-30's and whilst we do love a nice day out at the theme park we wouldn't really be classed as "enthusiasts", we also have no little people attached to us so probably aren't your typical target audience for Alton Towers either! I'm sure no one cares - but here's a random blabbering of my thoughts anyway
Ride Reviews:
Smiler - It's a really long ride and the track layout is impressive to look at. But it wasn't either of our favourites, we came off with a bit of a headache.
6.5/10
Oblivion - Still a brilliant coaster, the tension building slow approach to the drop after the lift is genius. The audible roar of the train rocketing throught that tunnel is awesome as always.
8.5/10
Thirteen - I always think of this as a bit of a gimmicky ride, once you know the trick it loses the thrill factor. However, the ride was actually pretty nice, its still quite comfortable and fun to ride just a shame the queues were huuuge.
7/10
Rita - It goes fast and not much else, we had fun but it wasn't the comfiest ride and it feels a bit out of place in that area.
6.5/10
Wickerman - One of the few well presented rides in the park, the little pre-show and quality of the theming really shines. My partner said it was her ride of the day.
8.5/10
Rapids - A nice break from coasters, the ride itself is a little dull when you're floating along with nothing really happening. It could easily be a fantastic asset if it had a bit more theming and stuff going on. I can only assume they ran out of money for themeing the concrete tunnel!
7/10
RMT - Maybe its the nostalgia, its silly but we both enjoyed it. Choo choo!
6.5/10
The Curse At Alton Manor - The actors and theming in the (small) area outside is brilliant. However, we were really underwhelmed. It's just a slow moving car with some uv lighting, projectors and some sound effects. I don't think many of the effects were working properly and when you're able to see the car in front it takes away from the suspense of what is coming next. I saved myself from spoilers so was hoping for some surprise.. maybe a fast section like ROTM or a spiderman style falling section but it didnt seems to have any innovation at all.
5/10
Galactica - Still a good coaster to ride but everything else about it really needs some TLC. The stickers on the building are peeling off, VR signage makes no sense and the ride operators seemed to be having a mare with the leg restraints. The OP's girl had to give mine a good kick 3 times before it seemed to be happy that my legs were indeed trapped inside. Fast pass was pointless for this ride as there was still a 30 minute wait after the merge point with the regular queue. I never understood how this was supposed to fit in with the forbidden valley theme.
6.5/10
Sub Terra - Was nice to have a well themed ride which wasnt a coaster, however the throughput is absymal, the ride itself was only being half loaded despite a huge queue. Also thought the room lights coming on before everyone had managed to exit the chamber ruined the panic element, however for some reason the scare maze is now only about 3 meters long in total?
6/10
Food And Drink:
I had a little look before we went and saw the reviews of the food before we left, so packed some sandwiches as i was expecting places to be a bit overpriced. In all honesty, i wasn't shocked by the prices.
I'll use hotdogs as an example. It's £7 a hot dog, but that's pretty standard for food stalls around us at home now. Its also significantly cheaper than in other venues we've been to where were held captive (festivals, cinemas, airports etc). The main issue for me was the quality, the hotdogs are just standard rollover hotdogs, pre-cooked and wrapped in the same soggy bags you can grab from the hot cupboard in your local co-op. A lot of items don't resemble the images shown on the signage, or within their app. Plus, the portions were very small.
In the end we ended up supplementing our sandwiches with a mixed wrap from the eastern express place, it was 'Ok'. I was pleasantly surprised to see decent beers at £6 a pint at the Mardi Gras stage. That's far less than I expected in a captive venue.
Overall:
We assumed it would be busy on a bank holiday so bought the silver fast pass and in the end only ended up using it on 4 of 6 rides as the queues were short enough (5/10 mins) to not make it worth bothering. I think buying them per-ride on the day would be more sensible - at worst it only works out £2 more expensive!
Some of the rides are looking like they really need a bit of investment. As someone who hasn't visited for a while it seems to be littered with issues that look individually simple to solve. There's clearly a distinct lack of maintenance taking place on a level that must be engrained in their management's attitude and culture now. For me Alton Towers is somewhere I went as a child, it was magical, unlike anywhere else in the UK, it's so sad to see it fall into this state. I understand that new rides are what pulls in customers but how likely are they to come back if they spend the rest of their day staring at filthy track, graffiti and peeling stickers? Sure, that customer might come back when you build the next big ride but they aren't going to be eager to return in-between. It's good to see nemesis having a re-track but they really really need to give everything a good wash, repaint stations, repaint tracks, fix broken displays, replace blown speakers and generally update the theming.
That said, on the whole we really enjoyed ourselves, compared to going out for a nice meal or to a good concert it was actually a very good value day out. If areas were better looked after we would probably head back with our nephews and nieces in the summer. Equally, if there was the option to purchase some GOOD food we might head back with friends our age... It's not unusual for us to end up spending £15+ on a burger in a regular 'hipstery' bar near home - so if they had something like that it would be more attractive as a return visit to us, but I'm not going to spend £10+ on a typical burger king style meal.
Just a review of my visit on 29th/May/2023, our last visit was pre-covid so its been quite a while!
Me and my partner are in our mid-30's and whilst we do love a nice day out at the theme park we wouldn't really be classed as "enthusiasts", we also have no little people attached to us so probably aren't your typical target audience for Alton Towers either! I'm sure no one cares - but here's a random blabbering of my thoughts anyway
Ride Reviews:
Smiler - It's a really long ride and the track layout is impressive to look at. But it wasn't either of our favourites, we came off with a bit of a headache.
6.5/10
Oblivion - Still a brilliant coaster, the tension building slow approach to the drop after the lift is genius. The audible roar of the train rocketing throught that tunnel is awesome as always.
8.5/10
Thirteen - I always think of this as a bit of a gimmicky ride, once you know the trick it loses the thrill factor. However, the ride was actually pretty nice, its still quite comfortable and fun to ride just a shame the queues were huuuge.
7/10
Rita - It goes fast and not much else, we had fun but it wasn't the comfiest ride and it feels a bit out of place in that area.
6.5/10
Wickerman - One of the few well presented rides in the park, the little pre-show and quality of the theming really shines. My partner said it was her ride of the day.
8.5/10
Rapids - A nice break from coasters, the ride itself is a little dull when you're floating along with nothing really happening. It could easily be a fantastic asset if it had a bit more theming and stuff going on. I can only assume they ran out of money for themeing the concrete tunnel!
7/10
RMT - Maybe its the nostalgia, its silly but we both enjoyed it. Choo choo!
6.5/10
The Curse At Alton Manor - The actors and theming in the (small) area outside is brilliant. However, we were really underwhelmed. It's just a slow moving car with some uv lighting, projectors and some sound effects. I don't think many of the effects were working properly and when you're able to see the car in front it takes away from the suspense of what is coming next. I saved myself from spoilers so was hoping for some surprise.. maybe a fast section like ROTM or a spiderman style falling section but it didnt seems to have any innovation at all.
5/10
Galactica - Still a good coaster to ride but everything else about it really needs some TLC. The stickers on the building are peeling off, VR signage makes no sense and the ride operators seemed to be having a mare with the leg restraints. The OP's girl had to give mine a good kick 3 times before it seemed to be happy that my legs were indeed trapped inside. Fast pass was pointless for this ride as there was still a 30 minute wait after the merge point with the regular queue. I never understood how this was supposed to fit in with the forbidden valley theme.
6.5/10
Sub Terra - Was nice to have a well themed ride which wasnt a coaster, however the throughput is absymal, the ride itself was only being half loaded despite a huge queue. Also thought the room lights coming on before everyone had managed to exit the chamber ruined the panic element, however for some reason the scare maze is now only about 3 meters long in total?
6/10
Food And Drink:
I had a little look before we went and saw the reviews of the food before we left, so packed some sandwiches as i was expecting places to be a bit overpriced. In all honesty, i wasn't shocked by the prices.
I'll use hotdogs as an example. It's £7 a hot dog, but that's pretty standard for food stalls around us at home now. Its also significantly cheaper than in other venues we've been to where were held captive (festivals, cinemas, airports etc). The main issue for me was the quality, the hotdogs are just standard rollover hotdogs, pre-cooked and wrapped in the same soggy bags you can grab from the hot cupboard in your local co-op. A lot of items don't resemble the images shown on the signage, or within their app. Plus, the portions were very small.
In the end we ended up supplementing our sandwiches with a mixed wrap from the eastern express place, it was 'Ok'. I was pleasantly surprised to see decent beers at £6 a pint at the Mardi Gras stage. That's far less than I expected in a captive venue.
Overall:
We assumed it would be busy on a bank holiday so bought the silver fast pass and in the end only ended up using it on 4 of 6 rides as the queues were short enough (5/10 mins) to not make it worth bothering. I think buying them per-ride on the day would be more sensible - at worst it only works out £2 more expensive!
Some of the rides are looking like they really need a bit of investment. As someone who hasn't visited for a while it seems to be littered with issues that look individually simple to solve. There's clearly a distinct lack of maintenance taking place on a level that must be engrained in their management's attitude and culture now. For me Alton Towers is somewhere I went as a child, it was magical, unlike anywhere else in the UK, it's so sad to see it fall into this state. I understand that new rides are what pulls in customers but how likely are they to come back if they spend the rest of their day staring at filthy track, graffiti and peeling stickers? Sure, that customer might come back when you build the next big ride but they aren't going to be eager to return in-between. It's good to see nemesis having a re-track but they really really need to give everything a good wash, repaint stations, repaint tracks, fix broken displays, replace blown speakers and generally update the theming.
That said, on the whole we really enjoyed ourselves, compared to going out for a nice meal or to a good concert it was actually a very good value day out. If areas were better looked after we would probably head back with our nephews and nieces in the summer. Equally, if there was the option to purchase some GOOD food we might head back with friends our age... It's not unusual for us to end up spending £15+ on a burger in a regular 'hipstery' bar near home - so if they had something like that it would be more attractive as a return visit to us, but I'm not going to spend £10+ on a typical burger king style meal.
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