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Memeable Thoosie Traits

GooseOnTheLoose

TS Member
Favourite Ride
Ug Bugs
Bit of a tongue in cheek thread and it's always good to make fun of yourself. What are some of your favourite giveaway traits, or unwritten rules, of thoosieism? Here are a few to start, I guess I ought to leave some for everyone else.
  • Knowing how long a queue actually is, based on where you can see it finishing, vs the advertised time.
  • Operations overseas are always more efficient, no matter where you are.
  • "They actually had plans for a cross valley wooden coaster..."
  • Whether you've experienced one or not, RMCs are perfect.
  • Praise Be to Paulton's Park. Criticism is never permitted.
  • Universal GB MUST happen at all costs, it WILL usher in a golden age for British theme parks.
  • Know your Johns. Wardley = The Messiah (don't you dare say otherwise). Burton = Enthusiastic posing ****** (don't you dare say otherwise).
  • All B&M coasters built before 2003 are perfect, everything built after has a rattle.
  • Merlin are the only money grabbing, financially driven theme park operator out there. None of the others care about your cash, they just want you to have a good time.
  • Package all the things. Lighting package, fireworks package, sound package, speaker package, FX package, queue package.
  • Work out where the trigger sensor on Congo River Rapids is for the "Please remain seated" announcement. Amaze those around you as you mimic the statement in perfect sync each time a boat passes.
  • Have the numbers and email addresses for every park's Guest Services department saved in your contacts list.
  • Change is always bad, nostalgia is always best.
  • Spot a theme park vlogger and don't interact with them. Feel smug to yourself that you've feigned ignorance... that'll show them. They'll know. Deep down. You win.
  • Mandy.
 
  • Know how to efficiently operate an entire theme park from behind a computer, better than the actual operators themselves.
  • Are a ***** with bottomless theme park budgets and would almost certainly put a park out of business within a couple of years of ownership.
  • Are informed of every major theme park decision from a ride host on a Discord server before park management themselves even know of it.
  • The general public is inferior. No ifs. No buts.
  • If you've ridden an obscure coaster that not many others have, it IMMEDIATELY goes into your top 10. Number 1, perhaps. BEST. RIDE. IN. THE. WORLD.
  • Have a vertical monitor positioned nearby with queue times displayed on it constantly.
  • Assume you know anything and everything about how ride maintenance, parts ordering and storing work.
 
I'm forever fascinated by the latest thoosie lingo.

If a coaster has lots of sharp twists and turns, this can only be described as having "whippy transitions".

If a relatively new coaster is a little bit rough it literally must be referred to as having a 'noticeable rattle".

When a coaster doesn't have an obvious storyline to it, but there's a half arsed paint job, the ride is "not themed but stylised".

And the old classic...

If you're at a theme park you're "on park".
 
I'm forever fascinated by the latest thoosie lingo.

If a coaster has lots of sharp twists and turns, this can only be described as having "whippy transitions".

If a relatively new coaster is a little bit rough it literally must be referred to as having a 'noticeable rattle".

When a coaster doesn't have an obvious storyline to it, but there's a half arsed paint job, the ride is "not themed but stylised".

And the old classic...

If you're at a theme park you're "on park".
Some of these could certainly be attributed to a certain vlogger.

"Whimsical" and "very atmospheric" are other terms I keep hearing crop up again, and again, and again.

What about the obsession with steam punk themes, or has this died out slightly?
 
Merlin are the only money grabbing, financially driven theme park operator out there. None of the others care about your cash, they just want you to have a good time.
To be fair, I know Roland Mack is trying to extricate just as much money from me as any Merlin park will try to do.

The difference is I'm really happy to let him.
 
ETPRTCOMTTWMHAACIAMUFITMTALAMISMCYMAIAWEFYWSTIYWSTFTWTASAPPMBBOTOSTSLAPTWOBWWFTEFL - (Everything theme park related that consists of more than two words, must have and a completely unnecessary acronym made up for it. To make the acronym longer and make it sound more clever, you must also include all words, even if you wouldn't say them if you were saying the full title without the acronym, such as putting "Pepsi Max" before Big One to only save two single letters, and putting "The World of" before Walliams World for those extra few letters).

Alton Thoosie on their deathbed - "They've only had 62 years to sort the place out. The bloke who fills the vending machines near the Skyride station in Forbidden Valley only started 3 years ago. Give them a chance!"

A new coaster that opens in the UK is probably the best in the country. Until it isn't a few weeks later.

Universal = direct "competition" for Merlin = nobody visiting Alton Towers anymore = Merlin investing squillions into Alton Towers as a result!

There are three types of themes. Steampunk (the best theme in the world and we desperately need some of that in the UK. Just Steampunk everything damnit!), "Dark" (which we have far too much of), or "Whimsical" (which we need more of).

Anything that can't be solved with a whimsical or steampunk theme, can absolutely be solved with an RMC! There's no problem that can't be solved by an RMC.
 
They use theme park dates as milestones.

E.g "anyone remember the opening of the channel tunnel?" " yes, nemesis opened the same year, awesome times i had riding her that year."
"Man, what a year that was! Nemesis, Pumbo, Shocky...."
"yeah man, second summer of love. Drivin' round the M25 all night tryin' to find the venue......"
 
Saying the rides catchphrase.

I mean, come on. One of my friends said it, and to be fair he did get in a promotional video because of it…
 
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