Sam
TS Member
Something else I wanted salvaging from TTF. 
Sam's Europa Park review
Photos by Vik
I know that in the last few days I've said a lot of quite silly and embarrassingly over-the-top things about EP. When on park, I was caught up in all the excitement of a new park with all my friends with me and it probably made me get a bit carried away with myself about what I really think of the park. I said it was the best park in the world, and absolutely perfect in almost every way. Sorry, I wasn't really thinking properly in all the excitement.
It is far better than that.
Europa Park redefines what a theme park can be. In every respect, it creates an absolute pinnacle for the industry, a shining light of excellent practice and perfect creation that every park should look up to. Disney are always seen as some sort of barometer of quality in this industry. Frankly, Europa make Disney look like amateur hour. In fact, add Efteling and Alton Towers to that list too. It is the first park I've ever been to that felt like it was run by full-time theme park professionals. It was also the first park I'd ever been to apart from Efteling that didn't feel like it was being run for profit, but purely to create the greatest theme park ever built. It is the central irony of EP, that by setting the gate price so modestly, by investing such vast amounts in the park and the entertainment, by not having up-sellers ever hassle you to give them more money, and by keeping the food such good value, they have managed to create a park that makes people so happy that they come in vast numbers, therefore presumably making the park vastly more profit than the likes of penny-pinching Alton Towers. Oh, how I wish every park in the world could learn this lesson.
In my humble opinion, Europa Park is the greatest thing man-kind has ever achieved in the field of entertainment. It is simply awe-inspiring. I think no other thing (a film, a book, an opera) could ever compete with EP, purely because unlike almost any other form of entertainment, it's roots in a physical place has allowed it to be constantly expanded and improved at the highest level of quality anywhere in the world every year for decades. I don't think it's possible to find any built environment more fun, perfect or awe-inspiring anywhere on planet earth.
Firstly, the throughputs. Queueing is the number one nemesis of any theme park. It is consistently by far and away the factor most likely to ruin a guest's day, and it is part of the bittersweet taste of success. It is inevitable that every guest will spend most of their day queueing. Europa is the only park I've been to where it feels like they have gone to every length possible at every stage of their operation to reduce this nemesis, given their extraordinary popularity. The throughputs they manage to wrench out of every coaster, and the tireless dedication and motivation of their staff towards this aim is astonishing. It's often difficult to believe the speed at which EuroSat, EuroMir and Blue Fire manages to dispatch trains, eliminating any station faff to zero. It's almost true to say that if you stop moving in EuroSat's queue then something's gone wrong. I've never seen a park that understands that throughput, not safety, should be at the absolute core of every thing they do, from ride design to staff training. Such throughputs can only be achievable with the German common sense approach to health and safety. The fact that the safety of themselves was partially in the hands of the guests made people behave much more responsibly on-park than they do in Britain. Do restraints need to be checked on a powered mine train? No, of course they don't. I'll never understand why the restraints of RMT not only need to be there, but also need to be checked by hand, yet the Flume and the rapids have no restraints at all. Completely inconsistent.
Secondly, the entertainment. As I'm British, I was resigned to the fact that I'd never see a decent theme park show without going back to Florida. Usually it'd be my rule not to bother with shows as it wastes valuable ride time for a second rate performance, especially at a park with so many wonderful rides as EP. Well I'm glad I did see the shows, but more on them later. The amount of general street entertainment is staggering. You could barely walk a hundred metres without bumping in to a troupe of street performers, dressed as rappers on stilts or as French mimes or whatever, just interacting with the public and making them smile. I can't stress enough the sheer quantity of street entertainment. Everywhere you looked there was a swing band striking up unannounced on a random stage, or street performers enchanting the guests. I don't remember anywhere near a tenth of the amount of street entertainment at Disney or Efteling, the kind of parks where you'd expect this sort of thing. Not to mention the dozens of different shows everyday outside the big four we didn't have a hope of seeing, and the wonderful daily parade. Worth pointing out that Alton has absolutely none of the above.
Thirdly, the rides and theming. The unique policy of making major additions and major refurbishments to old rides has led to a park where almost every attraction meets the same impeccable quality standards. The focus on guest experience rather than profit leads to the creation of atmosphere, rather than simply the headline rides. Things like the Norweigan Stave Church (added in '91!) would never be found in any other park, but these hundreds of little flourishes and touches across the park leads to a park that oozes character and yes, magic, around every corner.
Much of the theming is noticably different to other parks, in that it really tries to be authentic rather than just a cartoon stereotype of that country. Whilst in other parks the French area would have cheesy renditions of the Eiffal tower and the leaning tower of Pisa, EP are much more subtle, trying to give a real different atmosphere to each part of the park using subtle theming. They don't patronise the guests, they treat them as intelligent. For example, in each area much of the text, names of shops (Kaffi Hus), rides (the Russian name for BENCH) and audio is often in the native language (the Icelandic name of the Blue Fire research station for example), and the buildings try to give an architechtural flavour of the country without being over the top and cliche. The walls of restaurants and rides are often adorned with real framed maps, old government posters, or old adverts for national events themed to that area. It gives the park a real soul, and a feel like you are being treated like an adult. They don't simply dumb down the park to make it easy for you. Europa Park is often a cerebral experience, and a thoughtful one.
Anyway enough with random observations, time to crack on and review the park:
Part 1
EuroSat
The first thing you notice about EuroSat is the single-file cattle pen in front of the iconic geodesic dome (an sign in the queue tells you about the history of the geodesic dome and its designer Buckminster Fuller, showing what I mean by EP refusing to dumb down) which seems to
moving constantly at an astonishing speed. Even if the queue is flowing miles out the entrance, your wait is unlikely to be more than 25 minutes due to the astonishing throughputs. The space age escalator leads you into a simply yet functional station, and you are allowed to pick your row. Before you realise it, you're off and up the lifthill with the famous techno soundtrack filling your senses. The ride is well paced and speedy, with an intense first drop and a rapid series of dips and sudden direction changes keeping up the pace, all whilst rave lights fill up the dome. The extremely harsh brakes create a fantastically intense finish, just as the ride is starting to flag.
Silver Star
I've heard EP's flagship coaster described as forceless and boring, but these were two words that definately didn't spring to mind as I wiped the tears from my eyes from the thundering first drop. The sheer height of it creates an incredible sensation of speed, and leaving the park really feels like a bit of an adventure. Bizarelly, the ride has absolutely buckets of smooth floater airtime in the front and none in the back. The near-perfect B&M trains and restraints make this an incredibly comfortable ride, whilst the impeccable cleaning and painting of this sleek glittering mechanical beast makes it look like opening day, every day. My only criticism would be a lack of atmosphere in the station due to the music being turned down. Although the Mercedes-Benz sponsorship is far more extensive than Oblivion's sponsorship, it adds to the ride immensely here, as the brand fits in so well with the theme. The reputation of the brand as being ultra-classy and ultra-cool actually give those same characteristics to the ride by association, and also provide queue-line entertainment.
Sh*tezer Bobboredbahns
The theming is absolutely gorgeous, one of the best themed rides ever built. The main bit of the track winds its way through beautiful Swiss cottages, making standing underneath one of its helixs an absolute thrill. Shame the ride is completely useless. The drop at the beginning offers absolutely nothing, and the ride hits the mile-long set of break runs just as it seems in danger of gathering up any sort of speed. But the thing with Europa is there few failures aren't for lack of effort. When something doesn't really work, it's usually because they've experimented and clearly tried to do something great, so you can forgive them for that. No, the drop on Bobbahn doesn't work, but it's the first one ever built so you have to give them some credit. But really, who cares the ride isn't very good when the throughputs are this stunning (five trains on a short bobsled!), the theming is so immersive and the ride looks so beautiful from every angle.
Poseidon
One of the best themed coasters at EP, I'm almost annoyed I didn't ever get to queue up in the beautifully themed queue. The station itself is simply epic, and on a grand scale, unnessecarily huge. The theming at the start is really quite lovely. The ride is slightly let down by the first coaster section, but since when has anyone expected the coaster part of a water coaster to be any good?! This rough section does end wonderfully with what feels like a classic Roland Mack move, the main spiralling drop leads into a curve upwards into a bouncy little bunny hop before the splashdown. This classic move is repeated again on the rather wonderful final drop, with a bunnyhop that just makes you throw your hands into the air and shout "ROLAAAAAAAAND!"
Pegasus
The Mack YoungStar system is such a wonderful ride system that it makes up for lack of theming. A galumphing triumphant scores follows you up the surprisingly high lift-hill, and the beautifully designed front car proudly charges round the snappy layout. It's everything a kid's coaster should be. It's a bit embaressing for Towers that this kid's coaster beats Th13teen's coaster section hands down.
Alpen Express
The first rollercoaster built at EP, but you'd never know it. The rapid queue leads to a rarely awe-inspiring station, a beautiful vaulted wooden creation that soars above the modest ride below. The insanely quick turnover time between trains means you're entering one of the most breath-taking areas of EP within minutes: diamond mine. The theming in here is absolutely gorgeous, an ethereal mix of ambient light and a hushed reverence, as mine train, log flume and walkway duck and dive around this luxurious oasis. Surprisingly intense, the tunnel inside the mine is almost as intense as RMT's.
Atlantica SuperGash
There must hardly be a more beautiful ride in the world than this beautiful creation, rising majestically out of the Portaguese sea. The theming in the area, from the pool that dominates the area with water so clear you want to dive into it, to the beautiful ship that consists of part-queue and part-bar, this ride just screams luxury from every inch. The ride itself does exactly what it says on the tin, with a couple of show-off turntables and a backwards drop just for the sake of it. Again ending with a classic Roland Mack move, the final bunny hop into the water, the ride strikes the exact balance in getting you wet. Even more beautiful and majestic by night.
EuroMir
"You don't know what this is do you. Is this innovation or a mistake?" - Stewart Lee.
Ahh EuroMir, previously described as 'the Kraftwerk of rollercoasters' and generally seen as one of the weirdest rides ever built. A speedy dispatch brings you to a dated but charming dark ride scene, as your car waits to join the epic lifthill of ravey goodness. Unlike EuroSat, changing lighting and the spinning of the cars on the lift keeps things interesting until you reach the top. Here is the weirdest part of the ride, as the trains zig-zag between the shimmering towers whilst revolving slowly, like some sort of ancient dance of a forgotten species, it's rituals confusing to the nearby humans. The coaster part is fantastically rough, especially on the first drop, and gets more and more intense as the ride goes on, traversing tunnels, helixs and waterfalls. The pacing of this is supurb, with the ride getting constantly more intense as it goes on, so it becomes almost too much when you hit the brake run. This ride though is substantially less fun if you're not sitting opposite people you know during the main ride, if you are it becomes a great little social.
Matterhorn Sh*tz
Clearly built just to show off the ride system, the throughputs from this wild mouse are none-the-less impressive. The vertical lift is the most impressive part of the ride by a long shot, the duel platformed bending lift being a real technical marvel. After a surprisingly long first drop, the ride loses momentum, and the mandatory mouse back-and-forth section has no lateral gs, and the ride is again other just as it begins to get going. Still, it is what it is, and it's a well-themed and fun wild mouse.
Blue Fire
What can be said about this ride that hasn't already been said? It's all true. The ride system is probably the best ever created, blasting apart Intamin's complete rubbish about inverting coasters needing OTSRs. The restraints and seats are incredibly comfortable, and the build quality feels extremely high. The heartrate monitors add some gimmecky fun to the proceedings, and the on-board audio will hopefully some day be put to good use. The short dark ride system is nonetheless impressive, with a load of whirling computer screens and fun animatronics as the ride's soaring score gets you excited for launch. The launch is fun yet not intense, underlining this as the ultimate perfect family-thrill coaster. The first element, though pointless track-and-train gives a great view of the layout, before plunging back into the rockwork for a great loop. The next sudden turn to the side can catch you unaware. The last inversion is simply incredible, feeling like a strong man picking you up by the waist and spinning you all the way round. What feels painful and boring on an Intamin becomes an amazing sensation of freedom on this wonderful Mack.
Pirates in Batavia
To some degree a Disney rip-off, but we'll let them off as this appeared several years before DLP. The brick built entrance in the wonderful Dutch square is beautiful, and the queue snakes its way past various scenes before boarding. The ride is mostly generic pirate scenes, but all done to a very high standard and with plenty for the eyes to feast on.
Picco Mondolo
This ride occupies an absolutely tiny space in Italy. In any other park this would be a shop or restaurant, but why not put a ride in? The ride vehicles exude that same sense of top build quality and classy professionalism that Volo Da Vinci, Historama and Enchanted Forest do. A short series of fun little scenes of Italy follow, with a cute little song. How lovely!
Universe of Energy
Complete rubbish, a very boring dinosaur themed Omnimover hiding undernearth EuroSat. Although the animatronics are perfectly passable, very little actual happens by way of any event or narrative. Saying this, it's high capacity and in any other park there'd be nothing in this space, so who really cares?
Geishterschloss
The best dark ride at EP, this haunted house theme Omnimover was a complete surprise. I was expecting a tiny cheap affair on the scale of Picco Mondolo, but what I got was a full on long dark ride with a wonderful range of innovative effects. Unlike the friendly scares of the Haunted Mansions, this ride seemed a lot more adult, and much of it was very disturbing. Really quite a jarring experience, feeling like you should be on a family ride but being confronted with dark scenes of Ku Klux Klansmen, suicide and capital punishment. Really great, a fascinating and atmospheric little ride with a great throughput (naturally).
BENCH
I have no idea what this ride is like, because all I can remember of this ride is constant shoutings of "BENCH" all the way round every second, and me just crying with hysterics.
Sam's Europa Park review
Photos by Vik

I know that in the last few days I've said a lot of quite silly and embarrassingly over-the-top things about EP. When on park, I was caught up in all the excitement of a new park with all my friends with me and it probably made me get a bit carried away with myself about what I really think of the park. I said it was the best park in the world, and absolutely perfect in almost every way. Sorry, I wasn't really thinking properly in all the excitement.
It is far better than that.
Europa Park redefines what a theme park can be. In every respect, it creates an absolute pinnacle for the industry, a shining light of excellent practice and perfect creation that every park should look up to. Disney are always seen as some sort of barometer of quality in this industry. Frankly, Europa make Disney look like amateur hour. In fact, add Efteling and Alton Towers to that list too. It is the first park I've ever been to that felt like it was run by full-time theme park professionals. It was also the first park I'd ever been to apart from Efteling that didn't feel like it was being run for profit, but purely to create the greatest theme park ever built. It is the central irony of EP, that by setting the gate price so modestly, by investing such vast amounts in the park and the entertainment, by not having up-sellers ever hassle you to give them more money, and by keeping the food such good value, they have managed to create a park that makes people so happy that they come in vast numbers, therefore presumably making the park vastly more profit than the likes of penny-pinching Alton Towers. Oh, how I wish every park in the world could learn this lesson.

In my humble opinion, Europa Park is the greatest thing man-kind has ever achieved in the field of entertainment. It is simply awe-inspiring. I think no other thing (a film, a book, an opera) could ever compete with EP, purely because unlike almost any other form of entertainment, it's roots in a physical place has allowed it to be constantly expanded and improved at the highest level of quality anywhere in the world every year for decades. I don't think it's possible to find any built environment more fun, perfect or awe-inspiring anywhere on planet earth.
Firstly, the throughputs. Queueing is the number one nemesis of any theme park. It is consistently by far and away the factor most likely to ruin a guest's day, and it is part of the bittersweet taste of success. It is inevitable that every guest will spend most of their day queueing. Europa is the only park I've been to where it feels like they have gone to every length possible at every stage of their operation to reduce this nemesis, given their extraordinary popularity. The throughputs they manage to wrench out of every coaster, and the tireless dedication and motivation of their staff towards this aim is astonishing. It's often difficult to believe the speed at which EuroSat, EuroMir and Blue Fire manages to dispatch trains, eliminating any station faff to zero. It's almost true to say that if you stop moving in EuroSat's queue then something's gone wrong. I've never seen a park that understands that throughput, not safety, should be at the absolute core of every thing they do, from ride design to staff training. Such throughputs can only be achievable with the German common sense approach to health and safety. The fact that the safety of themselves was partially in the hands of the guests made people behave much more responsibly on-park than they do in Britain. Do restraints need to be checked on a powered mine train? No, of course they don't. I'll never understand why the restraints of RMT not only need to be there, but also need to be checked by hand, yet the Flume and the rapids have no restraints at all. Completely inconsistent.
Secondly, the entertainment. As I'm British, I was resigned to the fact that I'd never see a decent theme park show without going back to Florida. Usually it'd be my rule not to bother with shows as it wastes valuable ride time for a second rate performance, especially at a park with so many wonderful rides as EP. Well I'm glad I did see the shows, but more on them later. The amount of general street entertainment is staggering. You could barely walk a hundred metres without bumping in to a troupe of street performers, dressed as rappers on stilts or as French mimes or whatever, just interacting with the public and making them smile. I can't stress enough the sheer quantity of street entertainment. Everywhere you looked there was a swing band striking up unannounced on a random stage, or street performers enchanting the guests. I don't remember anywhere near a tenth of the amount of street entertainment at Disney or Efteling, the kind of parks where you'd expect this sort of thing. Not to mention the dozens of different shows everyday outside the big four we didn't have a hope of seeing, and the wonderful daily parade. Worth pointing out that Alton has absolutely none of the above.


Thirdly, the rides and theming. The unique policy of making major additions and major refurbishments to old rides has led to a park where almost every attraction meets the same impeccable quality standards. The focus on guest experience rather than profit leads to the creation of atmosphere, rather than simply the headline rides. Things like the Norweigan Stave Church (added in '91!) would never be found in any other park, but these hundreds of little flourishes and touches across the park leads to a park that oozes character and yes, magic, around every corner.



Much of the theming is noticably different to other parks, in that it really tries to be authentic rather than just a cartoon stereotype of that country. Whilst in other parks the French area would have cheesy renditions of the Eiffal tower and the leaning tower of Pisa, EP are much more subtle, trying to give a real different atmosphere to each part of the park using subtle theming. They don't patronise the guests, they treat them as intelligent. For example, in each area much of the text, names of shops (Kaffi Hus), rides (the Russian name for BENCH) and audio is often in the native language (the Icelandic name of the Blue Fire research station for example), and the buildings try to give an architechtural flavour of the country without being over the top and cliche. The walls of restaurants and rides are often adorned with real framed maps, old government posters, or old adverts for national events themed to that area. It gives the park a real soul, and a feel like you are being treated like an adult. They don't simply dumb down the park to make it easy for you. Europa Park is often a cerebral experience, and a thoughtful one.


Anyway enough with random observations, time to crack on and review the park:
Part 1
EuroSat
The first thing you notice about EuroSat is the single-file cattle pen in front of the iconic geodesic dome (an sign in the queue tells you about the history of the geodesic dome and its designer Buckminster Fuller, showing what I mean by EP refusing to dumb down) which seems to
moving constantly at an astonishing speed. Even if the queue is flowing miles out the entrance, your wait is unlikely to be more than 25 minutes due to the astonishing throughputs. The space age escalator leads you into a simply yet functional station, and you are allowed to pick your row. Before you realise it, you're off and up the lifthill with the famous techno soundtrack filling your senses. The ride is well paced and speedy, with an intense first drop and a rapid series of dips and sudden direction changes keeping up the pace, all whilst rave lights fill up the dome. The extremely harsh brakes create a fantastically intense finish, just as the ride is starting to flag.

Silver Star
I've heard EP's flagship coaster described as forceless and boring, but these were two words that definately didn't spring to mind as I wiped the tears from my eyes from the thundering first drop. The sheer height of it creates an incredible sensation of speed, and leaving the park really feels like a bit of an adventure. Bizarelly, the ride has absolutely buckets of smooth floater airtime in the front and none in the back. The near-perfect B&M trains and restraints make this an incredibly comfortable ride, whilst the impeccable cleaning and painting of this sleek glittering mechanical beast makes it look like opening day, every day. My only criticism would be a lack of atmosphere in the station due to the music being turned down. Although the Mercedes-Benz sponsorship is far more extensive than Oblivion's sponsorship, it adds to the ride immensely here, as the brand fits in so well with the theme. The reputation of the brand as being ultra-classy and ultra-cool actually give those same characteristics to the ride by association, and also provide queue-line entertainment.


Sh*tezer Bobboredbahns
The theming is absolutely gorgeous, one of the best themed rides ever built. The main bit of the track winds its way through beautiful Swiss cottages, making standing underneath one of its helixs an absolute thrill. Shame the ride is completely useless. The drop at the beginning offers absolutely nothing, and the ride hits the mile-long set of break runs just as it seems in danger of gathering up any sort of speed. But the thing with Europa is there few failures aren't for lack of effort. When something doesn't really work, it's usually because they've experimented and clearly tried to do something great, so you can forgive them for that. No, the drop on Bobbahn doesn't work, but it's the first one ever built so you have to give them some credit. But really, who cares the ride isn't very good when the throughputs are this stunning (five trains on a short bobsled!), the theming is so immersive and the ride looks so beautiful from every angle.

Poseidon
One of the best themed coasters at EP, I'm almost annoyed I didn't ever get to queue up in the beautifully themed queue. The station itself is simply epic, and on a grand scale, unnessecarily huge. The theming at the start is really quite lovely. The ride is slightly let down by the first coaster section, but since when has anyone expected the coaster part of a water coaster to be any good?! This rough section does end wonderfully with what feels like a classic Roland Mack move, the main spiralling drop leads into a curve upwards into a bouncy little bunny hop before the splashdown. This classic move is repeated again on the rather wonderful final drop, with a bunnyhop that just makes you throw your hands into the air and shout "ROLAAAAAAAAND!"
Pegasus
The Mack YoungStar system is such a wonderful ride system that it makes up for lack of theming. A galumphing triumphant scores follows you up the surprisingly high lift-hill, and the beautifully designed front car proudly charges round the snappy layout. It's everything a kid's coaster should be. It's a bit embaressing for Towers that this kid's coaster beats Th13teen's coaster section hands down.
Alpen Express
The first rollercoaster built at EP, but you'd never know it. The rapid queue leads to a rarely awe-inspiring station, a beautiful vaulted wooden creation that soars above the modest ride below. The insanely quick turnover time between trains means you're entering one of the most breath-taking areas of EP within minutes: diamond mine. The theming in here is absolutely gorgeous, an ethereal mix of ambient light and a hushed reverence, as mine train, log flume and walkway duck and dive around this luxurious oasis. Surprisingly intense, the tunnel inside the mine is almost as intense as RMT's.

Atlantica SuperGash
There must hardly be a more beautiful ride in the world than this beautiful creation, rising majestically out of the Portaguese sea. The theming in the area, from the pool that dominates the area with water so clear you want to dive into it, to the beautiful ship that consists of part-queue and part-bar, this ride just screams luxury from every inch. The ride itself does exactly what it says on the tin, with a couple of show-off turntables and a backwards drop just for the sake of it. Again ending with a classic Roland Mack move, the final bunny hop into the water, the ride strikes the exact balance in getting you wet. Even more beautiful and majestic by night.

EuroMir
"You don't know what this is do you. Is this innovation or a mistake?" - Stewart Lee.
Ahh EuroMir, previously described as 'the Kraftwerk of rollercoasters' and generally seen as one of the weirdest rides ever built. A speedy dispatch brings you to a dated but charming dark ride scene, as your car waits to join the epic lifthill of ravey goodness. Unlike EuroSat, changing lighting and the spinning of the cars on the lift keeps things interesting until you reach the top. Here is the weirdest part of the ride, as the trains zig-zag between the shimmering towers whilst revolving slowly, like some sort of ancient dance of a forgotten species, it's rituals confusing to the nearby humans. The coaster part is fantastically rough, especially on the first drop, and gets more and more intense as the ride goes on, traversing tunnels, helixs and waterfalls. The pacing of this is supurb, with the ride getting constantly more intense as it goes on, so it becomes almost too much when you hit the brake run. This ride though is substantially less fun if you're not sitting opposite people you know during the main ride, if you are it becomes a great little social.

Matterhorn Sh*tz
Clearly built just to show off the ride system, the throughputs from this wild mouse are none-the-less impressive. The vertical lift is the most impressive part of the ride by a long shot, the duel platformed bending lift being a real technical marvel. After a surprisingly long first drop, the ride loses momentum, and the mandatory mouse back-and-forth section has no lateral gs, and the ride is again other just as it begins to get going. Still, it is what it is, and it's a well-themed and fun wild mouse.
Blue Fire
What can be said about this ride that hasn't already been said? It's all true. The ride system is probably the best ever created, blasting apart Intamin's complete rubbish about inverting coasters needing OTSRs. The restraints and seats are incredibly comfortable, and the build quality feels extremely high. The heartrate monitors add some gimmecky fun to the proceedings, and the on-board audio will hopefully some day be put to good use. The short dark ride system is nonetheless impressive, with a load of whirling computer screens and fun animatronics as the ride's soaring score gets you excited for launch. The launch is fun yet not intense, underlining this as the ultimate perfect family-thrill coaster. The first element, though pointless track-and-train gives a great view of the layout, before plunging back into the rockwork for a great loop. The next sudden turn to the side can catch you unaware. The last inversion is simply incredible, feeling like a strong man picking you up by the waist and spinning you all the way round. What feels painful and boring on an Intamin becomes an amazing sensation of freedom on this wonderful Mack.

Pirates in Batavia
To some degree a Disney rip-off, but we'll let them off as this appeared several years before DLP. The brick built entrance in the wonderful Dutch square is beautiful, and the queue snakes its way past various scenes before boarding. The ride is mostly generic pirate scenes, but all done to a very high standard and with plenty for the eyes to feast on.
Picco Mondolo
This ride occupies an absolutely tiny space in Italy. In any other park this would be a shop or restaurant, but why not put a ride in? The ride vehicles exude that same sense of top build quality and classy professionalism that Volo Da Vinci, Historama and Enchanted Forest do. A short series of fun little scenes of Italy follow, with a cute little song. How lovely!
Universe of Energy
Complete rubbish, a very boring dinosaur themed Omnimover hiding undernearth EuroSat. Although the animatronics are perfectly passable, very little actual happens by way of any event or narrative. Saying this, it's high capacity and in any other park there'd be nothing in this space, so who really cares?
Geishterschloss
The best dark ride at EP, this haunted house theme Omnimover was a complete surprise. I was expecting a tiny cheap affair on the scale of Picco Mondolo, but what I got was a full on long dark ride with a wonderful range of innovative effects. Unlike the friendly scares of the Haunted Mansions, this ride seemed a lot more adult, and much of it was very disturbing. Really quite a jarring experience, feeling like you should be on a family ride but being confronted with dark scenes of Ku Klux Klansmen, suicide and capital punishment. Really great, a fascinating and atmospheric little ride with a great throughput (naturally).
BENCH
I have no idea what this ride is like, because all I can remember of this ride is constant shoutings of "BENCH" all the way round every second, and me just crying with hysterics.
