Day 4: Phantasialand
Whizzed back up north on the train from Mannheim to Köln, again on the speedy ICE train and again just €29. This journey was just over 90 minutes and I was on the Phannyland shuttle bus by 09.45, very early for me.
The shuttle bus rides are *disgusting* here, they always cram way too many people in, must have been about 3 whole school trips squeezed into the thing. Should be on one of those 'Worlds worst bus journeys' YouTube videos with all the winding mountain death roads.
I'd managed to squeeze in a visit here last year the week before the travel ban, so had already been on F.LY. but it was good to get back to possibly the best pound for pound park in Europe.
F.L.Y - I came off this last year very impressed and somehow it's actually better than what I remember. Phantasialand's ability to nail absolutely everything is astonishing. From the ride itself to the smoke effects coming out of the manhole thingys on the floor, they do not mess about. They rival Disney when it comes to the finer details of a themed area. The queue was only 20 minutes in the morning which was ideal, it was painfully slow though. I assume they must have had a train missing. Got a ride on the back row and absolutely loved it. I seem to be in the minority here but I find it incredibly forceful and intense in places. It seems to go on forever too. Have had about 10 rides on it since it opened and I still have no idea of what's coming next in the layout, it's just a big blur.
I returned at the end of the day after getting off Taron and looking at the app to realise that F.L.Y closes an hour before the parks official hours and just about squeezed into the queue for the last ride of the day. Got a back row again and this time after a few litres of beer and a currywurst I did find it a bit uncomfortable being squished on my front for so long. Then as I got off, a staff member popped out offering another lap so they could fill the gaps on the last train, don't mind if I do. Very nearly regretted that decision, a third lap could have been vom central.
Taron - I am one of the biggest Taron fanboys in the northern hemisphere. It's the reason I've visited the park more than Towers/Thorpe/Blackpool combined in recent years. The queue was between 30-50 mins most of the day which isn't too bad but long enough to be very dull when you're alone. Taron was running very, very well all day today which was a relief as it can take a while to get going. I'm usually a back row bastard but Taron is extra special on the front row. You really appreciate just how fast that thing is when seated there. I will concede Taron is not as intense as I once thought, I see it now as one of the most *fun* coasters of all time. The speed, the airtime, the rapid changes of direction give me a s**t eating grin throughout. Got 5 goes in total. God bless you Taron.
Black Mamba - Even with Rookburgh now in the mix, Deep In Africa remains Phantasialand's finest work and IMO Black Mamba is the most immersive coaster in the world. The ride itself is fantastic but if you plonked it on a car park it would be a bottom tier invert. Fortunately that's not the case so it's up there with Nemesis for me.
Winjas (Fear) - Isn't this supposed to be the better one? It was alright. At the moment the whole of Wuze Town is only accessible by a massive external queue which was kind of annoying. On that note Phantasialand take Covid very seriously, even employing external security to monitor mask compliance around the queues. And it's the only park of the trip I had to show my vaccine passport before entry.
Crazy Bats - Turns out it's just Temple Of The Night Dork at the moment. Which serves a purpose of being a slightly more interesting rest on a bench, which is fine by me.
Chiapas - I love Chiapas obviously but the restraints wind me up as you can't move your feet to avoid the inevitable soaking they get.
Mystery Castle - Just as good as usual. Funny moment when leaving the ride our entire cycle of people walked the long way around the garden at the exit, interrupting the only corner in Phantasialand quiet enough for a teenage gang to have a cheeky spliff.
River Quest - The way I see it you've got a 1 in 3 chance of getting a complete pummeling from a wall of water on this, so I took my chances. I've never seen anything like it, the tsunami that consumes the unlucky one doesn't seem possible. Is this global warming? For everyone else you can come off fairly dry and I got lucky.
Managed to spend the whole day on park for once but overall a fairly modest ride count. As mentioned previously it's not too much fun standing in long queues when you're on your own which is why I prefer to sit down with a stein and watch Taron go by.
Posting this having just demolished a Schnitzel from the beer hall overlooking the always impressive, massive scary looking gothic cathedral in Köln before heading back to London tomorrow. I love this country <3
Das Itch: what Itch?