Strange questions that sometimes need answering (or not asking in the first place really).

[rob666]

Children are extremely expensive. But the baby part is the cheap bit. They need equipment which costs a bit, but you can whack them on the boob for a bit before the formula comes out. When you think that formula contains all the stuff they need whilst they're tiny, it's actually quite cost effective. Then they go on to solids but eat very little, and childcare (if you can get it) is mostly fully funded.

Then they become toddlers and destroy stuff, still eat very little, but potty training gets rid of expensive nappies. But childcare funding goes down and you have to top it up.

Then it's school uniform, and the need to spend money entertaining them when they're off. Eating more food.

Then it's school trips and clothes every year because they won't stop growing. A growing assortment of pets, vets bills and insurance. Bigger car as they come out of booster seats. Start eating more.

Then it's Xbox's, PlayStations, bigger houses because they're too big to share single rooms. Eat even more.

Then it's fashion trends, deodorant, rip off secondary school uniform, lavish school trips, ever more expensive holidays, and take your eye off them for 5 minutes and they strip the cupboards and fridge bare.

Then it's forking out for driving lessons and student digs. When they return home, eat everything in the house. Fleece off you until nearly 30 years old because they can't afford to move out.

They better put me in a posh old folks home when the time comes.

Serves you right for breeding sweetie...
And with all that stress, what makes you think you will live that long for an old gits home, posh or otherwise?

 

[Matt.GC]

I would assume that if someone needs formula because there is a medical reason they can't breastfeed then it would be available on prescription?

Don't quote me on this as I could be wrong, but I swear it used to be? We've never needed to because they were all on the breast and formula came into play when it wasn't enough for them.

Then they just started getting hungrier and hungrier, and 15 years later and there's still no end in sight yet.

Serves you right for breeding sweetie...
And with all that stress, what makes you think you will live that long for an old gits home, posh or otherwise?

Well it seemed like a pretty fun idea at the time.

 

[Poisson]

Children seem like the least rewarding exotic pets to own. All the cost, all the problems.

 

[Matt N]

Note to self: never have children if this topic is anything to go by!

I’ve long felt that I don’t want kids, and this topic does absolutely nothing to convince me otherwise…

 

[rob666]

They say you regret it as you get older.
I say...********.
I enjoy being an occasional uncle/great unkle/skunkle, but the joy is always in sending them home at the end of the day, or when they have soiled themselves, whichever comes sooner.
Then you finally get rid of the little snotgobblers, and they bring the next generation round for "babysitting with the grandparents", because the little sods are so expensive to run.

 

[Matt.GC]

I enjoy being an occasional uncle/great unkle/skunkle, but the joy is always in sending them home at the end of the day, or when they have soiled themselves, whichever comes sooner.

One day, they may have to do the same for their uncle my friend

Children seem like the least rewarding exotic pets to own. All the cost, all the problems.

Note to self: never have children if this topic is anything to go by!

I’ve long felt that I don’t want kids, and this topic does absolutely nothing to convince me otherwise…

Don't get me wrong fellas, I'm glad I have them. They're not for everybody though.

It was easy to look at these drawbacks before I had them, and I didn't plan them. Not wanting to go all mushy, but they are worth it.

I try not to think of all the costs, the stress, the sleepless nights, ruining everything you own, the tantrums (start at newborn carry on until....well Ill let you know when they stop).

There's no love like it. You hold that defenceless baby in your arms for the first time in the delivery room, and life changes. It's not about you anymore, it's about them, and you pledge to spend the rest of your life ensuring they are happy and OK. I know that sounds terrible, but you can't help it and it's the best feeling in the world. You look at back at the carnage and you love the woman who's just been through so much trauma, and feel you love her even more for delivering the best gift anyone will ever give you.

You genuinely get immense happiness from watching them develop. Their first smile. First laugh. First word. First steps. Their cuddles. The cute things they come out with. First day at school. Going to sleep on Christmas eve full of magic listening out for sleigh bells. Birthdays. First coaster. First 1.2 coaster. First 1.4 coaster. First day of secondary school. Their sense of humour. Girlfriends they get all embarrassed about. Work experience. GCSE predictions. Applying for college. Teenagers telling their old man they love him. Coming to you with problems for guidance.

Doesn't sound great, but it is. Think of the person you currently love more than anyone else in the world, double it and you still won't be near how you feel about your babies. And even when they're as tall as you, hairy, and mouthy, they're still your babies. And will still be your babies even when they have babies of their own.

So much more of this to come as well, and even though they cost more as they get older, life gets easier and you find you start to get more time back to be yourself again once they're doing their own things.

Anyway (sniffle), enough of this mush. Have they assassinated Trump yet? Have you seen the price of milk these days? How about that Alton Towers, right bin isn't it? Something something......

 

[rob666]

It was discussing the price of milk that started this mush.

 

[Matt N]

If you’re wanting to divert the topic, I’ve got a strange question of my own; what is it about me that seems to attract salesman types when I walk through the middle of Cardiff?

I’ve been doing my MSc in Cardiff for 7 weeks now, and I’ve only been walking through the city centre for about 3 of them (I initially took the train straight to Cathays, but stopped after a bout of maintenance works made me realise that it was honestly quicker to walk), and I’ve already had 2 people stop me for a chat and a one-time donation in that time.

They were both perfectly nice people (the man today complimented my eyebrows, which is an unusual compliment I’ve never received before…), and both seemed to be recruiting for charitable causes (both had something to do with stopping knife crime, interestingly), but in both cases, I was just casually walking along and they were in my face talking to me and whipping out their card machine before I really knew what was going on.

I know it probably sounds shameful, but in both cases, I looked for the smallest amount given on their screen and paid them that amount (£10 in one case, £15 in the other) just to get them off my case… I must confess that I’m quite introverted and not the best with people spontaneously approaching me out of the blue.

What is it about me that seems to attract these types of people when I’m walking through the middle of Cardiff? My strategy for walking through the city centre has been to just put my head down, walk and look as unobtrusive as possible, but I still seem to attract sales types… this is one aspect of university life in Cardiff that I never experienced during my undergraduate studies in Cheltenham. I’ve been surprised by how they just seem to approach you… I thought they tended to stand and wait for you to approach them?

 

[BarryZola]

Not sure what is attracting them to you. But, personally, I would just say no thanks, and if/when they try again I would tell them that I already donate to charity thanks very much. I know you're probably not the kind of person that likes to be blunt with people, but in order to save yourself some money I would suggest trying it out. Good luck Matt

 

[rob666]

Or don't say a single word and walk on...they are very used to it.
They should also be easy to avoid, they are only permitted to tout in specific places these days.
My local co op is the worst for aggressive charity touts.

 

[Jonathan]

Might be worth investing in some good headphones if you don't have any already. They can be really useful for a whole host of reasons, and as an added bonus, make it harder for random people like chuggers to talk to you.

 

[Poisson]

I look like a large, angry, Northern *******. They usually take one look and say nothing.

Might not help your situation.

 

[Jonathan]

I look like a large, angry, Northern *******. They usually take one look and say nothing.

Might not help your situation.

"Look like"?

 

[Alix]

@Matt N are you making eye contact with them?? Never, ever, make eye contact with a chugger. And if they try to get in your eye line, scowl and look at your watch and march on past. I don't look like a large angry Northern *******, but I do look like a short, harassed woman in a rush to be somewhere - that also seems to help but again, might not work for you

 

[Poisson]

@Matt N are you making eye contact with them?? Never, ever, make eye contact with a chugger. And if they try to get in your eye line, scowl and look at your watch and march on past. I don't look like a large angry Northern *******, but I do look like a short, harassed woman in a rush to be somewhere - that also seems to help but again, might not work for you

I've seen you murder several people. Terrifying is what the look is when you're angry.

 

[Matt N]

To make matters worse, I spoke to my parents about it, and it turns out I may have paid a fake/scam charity today after Googling it… when I put the name into Google, it took me a bit of time to find a website, and the top results were people on Reddit talking about how it’s a known scam with people asking for money for it in major cities across the UK…

I’m very surprised, because it looked legitimate at the time and the man seemed pleasant enough… I hoped I’d be more able to see through that sort of thing. I feel so stupid…

Not sure what is attracting them to you. But, personally, I would just say no thanks, and if/when they try again I would tell them that I already donate to charity thanks very much. I know you're probably not the kind of person that likes to be blunt with people, but in order to save yourself some money I would suggest trying it out. Good luck Matt

I’m definitely not the sort of person who likes to be blunt with people. I let my A Level Computer Science teacher call me Chris for the whole first half term because he accidentally called me Chris once and I didn’t have the heart to correct him…

My problem was that he was already whipping his card machine out and I didn’t really know how to say no to him. £15 was a bit more than I was willing to pay, in all honesty (I was desperately searching for an amount more like £5, but £15 was the smallest I could see on his screen… there were amounts going up to £90), but I didn’t want to look mean or tight.

Or don't say a single word and walk on...they are very used to it.
They should also be easy to avoid, they are only permitted to tout in specific places these days.
My local co op is the worst for aggressive charity touts.

Perhaps my mistake was walking through the main street… if you’re at all familiar with the centre of Cardiff, this was on the main pedestrianised street outside St David’s, the big shopping centre. Unfortunately, every way to my university buildings involves walking through the main street unless you want a considerable detour.

@Matt N are you making eye contact with them?? Never, ever, make eye contact with a chugger. And if they try to get in your eye line, scowl and look at your watch and march on past. I don't look like a large angry Northern *******, but I do look like a short, harassed woman in a rush to be somewhere - that also seems to help but again, might not work for you

Not intentionally, but I may accidentally have caught his eye. He was already walking towards me before I really looked at him, though, so I’m not sure.

 

[GooseOnTheLoose]

To make matters worse, I spoke to my parents about it, and it turns out I may have paid a fake/scam charity today after Googling it… when I put the name into Google, it took me a bit of time to find a website, and the top results were people on Reddit talking about how it’s a known scam with people asking for money for it in major cities across the UK…

I’m very surprised, because it looked legitimate at the time and the man seemed pleasant enough… I hoped I’d be more able to see through that sort of thing. I feel so stupid…

I’m definitely not the sort of person who likes to be blunt with people. I let my A Level Computer Science teacher call me Chris for the whole first half term because he accidentally called me Chris once and I didn’t have the heart to correct him…

My problem was that he was already whipping his card machine out and I didn’t really know how to say no to him. £15 was a bit more than I was willing to pay, in all honesty (I was desperately searching for an amount more like £5, but £15 was the smallest I could see on his screen… there were amounts going up to £90), but I didn’t want to look mean or tight.

Perhaps my mistake was walking through the main street… if you’re at all familiar with the centre of Cardiff, this was on the main pedestrianised street outside St David’s, the big shopping centre. Unfortunately, every way to my university buildings involves walking through the main street unless you want a considerable detour.

Not intentionally, but I may accidentally have caught his eye. He was already walking towards me before I really looked at him, though, so I’m not sure.

Unfortunately Matt it does sound as though you were the victim of a fraud or a scam. It's important to keep in mind though that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.

The word con-artist stems from confidence artist. Someone's who's artistic talents lay in exuding confidence, to a point where by they can trick someone. People train long and hard for it. They put effort into their scams. They make them look as legitimate as possible, in order to complete their transaction.

Chalk it up to life experience, but please don't let it get you down. Learn from what's happened today and perhaps don't interact financially with people who approach you. Only interact with people you approach. Learn to start saying "no thank you". You're not being rude, you're politely declining..

Don't beat yourself up. You are an absolutely lovely chap but, unfortunately, some people will try to take advantage of your good nature. The hard part is recognising it.

🪿

 

[Shaggy_Dog_]

My problem was that he was already whipping his card machine out and I didn’t really know how to say no to him. £15 was a bit more than I was willing to pay, in all honesty (I was desperately searching for an amount more like £5, but £15 was the smallest I could see on his screen… there were amounts going up to £90), but I didn’t want to look mean or tight.

As they say Matt, you live and you learn. Just chalk that one up to experience and understand that when it comes to these chuggers the best thing you can do is just to ignore them as if you can’t even hear them and keep walking on. Give your head a shake and say no thank you if you like but just keep walking on and do not even stop or engage them (or rather allow them to engage you). Just walking on past them isn’t rude at all, these people are basically out there on the street with the sole purpose of extracting money from you. You should never feel guilt tripped in to giving them money, or feel that you have to somehow talk to them because it would be rude otherwise, etc. **** that. You don’t owe them anything at all, so just keep practicing shaking your head and saying no thank you as you walk on by right past them.

 

[rob666]

I do the vast majority of "giving" to one deserving individual who I looked after years ago.
He gets 100% of the contribution, I see where it all goes, we both have fun, and he recharges my emotional batteries.
No management costs, no admin costs, and two happier people.
I have been ripped off by charities in the past, even "legal" ones.

Try to give time, as well as money, it feels better.
And trust nobody who walks up to you in the street and starts talking...
One day it could be me.

 

[BarryZola]

I do the vast majority of "giving" to one deserving individual who I looked after years ago.
He gets 100% of the contribution, I see where it all goes, we both have fun, and he recharges my emotional batteries.
No management costs, no admin costs, and two happier people.
I have been ripped off by charities in the past, even "legal" ones.

Try to give time, as well as money, it feels better.
And trust nobody who walks up to you in the street and starts talking...
One day it could be me.

There should be a more relaxing 'love' react symbol thing on here. This kind of post requires it. The 'try to give time' line is just so true.