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Surreal news articles

If it's Sussex Police they'll arrest Dave and Mary from Eastbourne, leak the names to the press, say there was no digger, say there was a digger, release the couple without charge and promise next time they'll definitely detect the digger attack.
 
Police have released an image of the hotel digger driver

Im3Y86v.jpg
 
Now I'm sorry, but if I'd been bitten twice on the **** by a spider, I would want the whole world to know about it.
Wonder if it was the same spider, developed a taste for willy.
Edit...
Time for the "Well doctor, take away the pain, but leave the swelling" gag.
 
I don't think 'period parties' are a new thing as such, but it's still a bit weird in my book. They might as well say 'Congratulations - you're bleeding out of your sniz'. It'd be the same if parents threw a party whenever their sons had their first wet dream. If mine did that to me, I'd be ******* mortified!
 
What do they do. Bring out their daughters first used tampon on a silver tray to show everyone? Maybe make it look pretty with a garnish of iceberg lettuce on the side o_O
 
Teenager jailed after putting PlayStation 4 through supermarket self-checkout as fruit

A teenager has been jailed in France after putting a PlayStation 4 through a supermarket self-checkout as fruit – and paying just £8 for it.

The 19-year-old, from Nice, weighed the machine on scales provided in the store’s fruit and veg section.

He then stuck the resulting price sticker on the console and paid the amount stated - €9.24 (£8.10).

Link: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...fruit-montbeliard-nice-teenager-a8758616.html
 
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