Surreal news articles

[Alsty]

How about swans and cygnets that don't give a **** about your train journey?

 

[RoyJess]

Nurses 'get high' after grandad accidentally brings in cannabis-laced cake as 'thank-you'

“They were eating the cake and then the next minute the staff were all off their faces"

https://www.manchestereveningnews.c...XbMuJ1naSPS-3E9TrC0xJJMABjjI2Tlt0wt5HJU1UylJo

 

[Alsty]

Maybe it's just me but I wouldn't eat anything made by somebody I don't actually know really well. Some people are disgusting...

 

[DiogoJ42]

If they were "off their faces" ... "the next minute" after eating it, then it sure as hell wasn't weed.

But I wouldn't mind finding out what it was.

 

[IanSR]

Maybe it's just me but I wouldn't eat anything made by somebody I don't actually know really well. Some people are disgusting...

Oh thank **** I'm not the only person who thinks this.

 

[DiogoJ42]

So I take it you guys never eat out or get a takeaway then?

 

[Alsty]

Yes, I trust (most) businesses more than Joe Public.

 

[IanSR]

So I take it you guys never eat out or get a takeaway then?

Only once so far this year.
My son has an allergy, we learnt pretty early not to trust strangers that the ingredients they say are not in the meal, are not in it.

 

[Alsty]

Rescuers learn that the ‘exotic’ bird they found was actually a seagull covered in curry

A bright orange bird who was found on on the side of an A41 road near the motorway was spotted for its unusual look.

After someone called it in, folks at the Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Aylesbury took the tropical-looking bird in, not knowing where it flew in from and assumed it was exotic.

But a quick wash later, they realised that it was just a seagull, covered in curry and turmeric. Fittingly they called him Vinny, after a vindaloo.

Read more here:
https://metro.co.uk/2019/07/08/resc...actually-a-seagull-covered-in-curry-10131425/

 

[DiogoJ42]

I'm impressed anyone was able to catch and hold a gull. Those things can be evil!

 

[RoyJess]

Baker confuses request for 'Moana' Birthday cake with marijuana

https://nypost.com/2019/07/10/baker...6AFyC9zTIT65nZZ9WwM_pbwRfVFN7BPidcbkCZPV8R-OY

 

[RoyJess]

The London 'Studio' flat smaller than a family hatchback: Croydon developer is granted permission to build 90 sq ft home...

... And you thought that the Stargazing pods were small

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...rmission-build-flats-smaller-London-taxi.html

 

[speedy]

The London 'Studio' flat smaller than a family hatchback: Croydon developer is granted permission to build 90 sq ft home...

... And you thought that the Stargazing pods were small

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...rmission-build-flats-smaller-London-taxi.html

I don't understand the outrage... it's just a product of capitalism.

 

[RicketyCricket]

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/177...esperate-name-brighton-pub-les-dennis-lounge/

AN AVID Les Dennis fan is distraught after his idol refused to let him name his pub the Les Dennis Lounge

 

[RoyJess]

Holy ****

"From Roomba to POO-mba! Man, 23, reveals how his robotic vacuum ran over dog poop while cleaning and then smeared the mess all over his floor"

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/...AEY_LJwPfFkfQNnfXg_1Y3HMiepmSFCSxvCiXLaaOM5ag

 

[Brad97]

Must have been a slow news day...

 

[DiogoJ42]

I work in TV. The missus works in TV news. Trust me, a slow news day is a good thing!

 

[MattyH]

Man finds picture of his amputated leg on a packet of tobacco as a health warning!
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/man-stunned-amputated-leg-eu-cigarette-warning-a4193231.html

 

[spinba11]

Talking about slow news days, the sun is at it again with the smiler.

 

[RoyJess]

Wheel rolls down highway, hops median and slams into SUV

A runaway wheel rolled down a New Jersey highway before hopping the median and crashing head-on into an oncoming SUV. The driver was not seriously injured

Dramatic video footage

://edition.cnn.com/videos/us/2019/07/26/runaway-tire-hits-suv-new-jersey-interstate-sot-vpx.hln