Surreal news articles

[RoyJess]

Don't worry @rob666 you are not on my backlist, you are safe for the moment, however, that might change in the near future

 

[Trooper]

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/meet-woman-whose-boyfriend-rollercoaster-23704667

That's crazy!

Expedition GeForce is right next to it.

The heart wants what it wants, I suppose.

 

[Thameslink Rail]

I thought local elections were boring until I read this
13 ‘Official’ Loonys standing in a poetry slam by-election - The Speaker (speakerpolitics.co.uk)
and to make it better, it's in Chessington!

 

[Thameslink Rail]

BBC News - UK hit by Cadbury 99 Flake shortage
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57149071
1. Is this the sequel to KFC running out of chicken?
2. Why are Cadbury's making their Flakes in Egypt when they've got three factories in the UK?!

 

[RoyJess]

Mum red-faced as 'cl*t sucker' sex toy arrives with label – leaving postman smirking
The sex toy was supposed to be wrapped in "discreet" packaging but it didn't quite work out that way and the "cl*t-sucker" logo was on show for all to see when the mortified mum opened the door

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/mum-red-faced-clt-sucker-22374213

She is so mortified that she goes to the press to tell the whole world

 

[Thameslink Rail]

BBC News - Comedy of errors in Argentine TV Shakespeare mix-up
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-57287764
I don't know how any news outlet could not realise that Shakespeare died over 400 years ago...

 

[RoyJess]

Anti-vaxxer hospitalised with Covid after saying vaccines would wipe out ‘stupid people’

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/worl...people/ar-AAKBKJw?ocid=mailsignout&li=AAnZ9Ug

Someone should have told him that "it's Covid that is wiping out stupid people"

 

[RoyJess]

An Italian Artist Auctioned Off an ‘Invisible Sculpture’ for $18,300. It’s Made Literally of Nothing

Some people have more money than sense. I have some white masking tape, I can make my own invisible sculpture for next to nothing

https://news.artnet.com/art-world/i...culpture-18300-literally-made-nothing-1976181

 

[Skyscraper]

A rail worker at Waterloo station in London has recently retired, and he's the longest-serving rail worker in the UK!
He started there aged 14 in 1953, and is now 82, having worked there for 68 years!

https://www.mylondon.news/news/zone-1-news/londoner-who-job-waterloo-station-20732767

 

[Alsty]

Seems like some people have been trolling the new GB News with the oldest trick in the book.





Source

 

[NuttySquirrel]

This tickled me. Apparently people have been being charged over £2,000 to ride fairground rides at Brighton Palace Pier. One way of recouping their losses from 2020 I guess!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-57600702

 

[NuttySquirrel]

Seem to be finding a lot of these this week!

The Arsenal mascot Gunnersaurus has just become to first dinosaur to get his Covid jab...

 

[RoyJess]

Police stop ‘exorcism’ of wooden logs in Home Depot store

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/ukne...-store/ar-AALtoyQ?ocid=mailsignout&li=AAnZ9Ug

 

[rob666]

Yup that is crazy.
How can those in positions of power let the devil continue to possess those innocent logs?

 

[RoyJess]

I wonder if they been selling fallen branches from the chained Oak as fire wood?

 

[Jonathan]

I'm almost surprised it didn't happen in Florida...

 

[RoyJess]

Man bitten by 5ft snake ‘in genital area’ as he sat on toilet at home

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/worl...t-home/ar-AALNQvQ?ocid=mailsignout&li=BBoPWjQ

 

[Error]

Tbh that is quite common.

 

[Rojo]

So I've actively cutdown on following the news in the past few months which has lead me away from this thread but never fear I return with gold... Rainbow Gold!

London Library Apologises After Man Dressed As ‘Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey’ Appears At Kids’ Event

Source

I'll add that the the images are probably NSFW and that Unilad probably doesn't count as news

 

[NuttySquirrel]

So I've actively cutdown on following the news in the past few months which has lead me away from this thread but never fear I return with gold... Rainbow Gold!

London Library Apologises After Man Dressed As ‘Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey’ Appears At Kids’ Event

Source

I'll add that the the images are probably NSFW and that Unilad probably doesn't count as news

Sounds like a lot of fuss over nothing, it's just a costume, he didn't have anything real on show! Really how damaging is that for children? I bet they thought it was hilarious!