The Secret Weapon Cinematic Multiverse®

[GooseOnTheLoose]

I have taken the liberty of establishing this dedicated imaginative sandbox to house the ever expanding alternate timelines, operational fan fiction, and sprawling hypothetical scenarios that have begun bleeding into our regular discourse.

Please wipe your feet, leave your grip on reality at the door and prepare to explore the infinite "What Ifs" of the leisure industry...

We have officially transitioned from a True Crime Cinematic Universe into a full blown Multiverse of Madness.

Recent entrants have included:

The Timeline where Alton Towers built Wickerman because... Fred & Rose West:

P.S. This might sound like a very strange analogy, but John Wardley reminds me a bit of Hazel Savage (the police officer who investigated the serial killer Fred West); Hazel (correctly) deduced that he had murdered and buried his daughter (and spent 18 months trying to persuade others that he had), but her fellow officers thought that she was insane to actually excavate his house on the basis of a mere rumour / hunch – but, out of respect to her tenure, they eventually agreed to her request (and she was proven to be right).

Likewise: John Wardley fought for years to have a wooden rollercoaster built at AT or Thorpe Park – in the face of overwhelming opposition – but, eventually, AT caved and - perhaps out of respect to his long track record - finally built one (the only part that I am unclear on is why they waited until after he retired before finally building one?).

The Timeline where Nemesis Reborn's theming gets removed to add single rider queue:

In which case, it surely wouldn't be too difficult to remove the bones and veins if AT ever wanted to bring the old front row queue back into service as a single-rider queue?

The Timeline where The Smiler is a tribute to Corkscrew, because inversions:

I like the fact that The Smiler ends on a high with a double-corkscrew at the end (presumably as a homage to the old Corkscrew ride).

It isn't my absolute favourite part of the ride, but I like the fact that it keeps inverting right until the end, instead of simply rolling to a gradual stop.

EDIT: I personally don't like heartline rolls, but Colossus at Thorpe Park is somewhat similar in that the bulk of its inversions happen at the end.

The Timeline where Alton Towers no longer launches new rides on opening day because poo:

I'm probably totally wrong (as usual), but I wonder whether Alton Towers were spooked by poo-gate happening during the opening of Toxicator last year (which I happened to be in the queue for, unfortunately), and so they are now cautious about launching new rides on opening day in case it goes wrong again?

The Timeline where Alton Towers built a hypercoaster and Drayton Manor Park and Zoo built Nemesis:

I wonder if Drayton Manor would have attempted to build an inverted coaster rather than stand-up if they had known about Batman / Nemesis further in advance?

My guess is that AT would have attempted to build a tall rollercoaster similar to The Big One at some stage if planning permission had allowed it (although perhaps not instead of Nemesis).

I think AT kind of got lucky that Nemesis landed in their lap at the perfect time (1994), as it helped to steal some of the thunder away from the other parks.

The Timeline where The Smiler crash happened with empty trains:

how would Merlin have responded if both trains had been empty when the crash occurred? (e.g. if the riders had been evacuated from the previous train at the top of the first lift hill before the ride was restarted)

The Timeline where The Swarm: Brave it Backwards was removed due to evacuation fears & The Smiler crash:

Sorry to bump an old thread, but somebody on Reddit asked the same question a few months ago (specifically, why Brave it Backwards was removed in 2016), and one additional theory is that perhaps Merlin were worried that evacuating backwards-facing passengers from the lift hill in case of an emergency may be difficult or uncomfortable (e.g. due to the riders having no head-rest).

The Timeline where Gerstlaurer no longer build coasters because of The Smiler crash:

I wonder if Gerstlauer were able to experiment with a new technology (such as a magnetic lift) due to the scale of investment from Merlin?

To my knowledge, Gerstlauer had previously mainly worked with smaller parks, who may have lacked the budget to finance such innovations?

Not to keep bringing up the crash, but it makes me wonder what other technologies Gerstlauer may have developed if not for the accident in 2015 ?

But perhaps Merlin would have stopped working with Gerstlauer anyway, due to other problems that the ride had encountered in 2013 (e.g. rollbacks and falling guide wheels, et cetera).

My opinion is that Gerstlauer would have improved their reliability issues if they had received continuing financial support from the parks - as Vekoma have successfully done since their humble beginnings in the 1980s (SLCs are notoriously rough, but their new rides are anything but!).

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And continuing the conversation in...

The Timeline where Michael Jackson didn't buy a Bolliger & Mabillard coaster because he was afraid of rowdy teenage boys...

You're right: I've just checked, and apparently they were unable to open it to the general public due to zoning restrictions (other than a handful of specific special occasions).

It seems that Michael Jackson wanted to open it to the public, though (according to the link below).

I wonder if he knew this before he bought it? I get the feeling that he didn't, because why else would he have kept trying to open it publicly? It's unfortunate, because I think the theme park could have been successful if paying guests had been allowed.

One doesn't accidentally purchase a 2,700 acre agricultural and residential ranch in Santa Barbara County without their army of lawyers and real estate agents checking the zoning laws. He bought it to be a private, isolated sanctuary. The friction arose later when the scale of his private amusement park began to annoy the neighbours and draw the attention of local regulators.

[On a sidenote: Neverland is an interesting choice of name, because I remember hearing that Peter Pan is one of the few (if not only) old British books that it is not in the public domain, as the profits from the book go to charity - but maybe this restriction doesn't apply in the USA?]

The Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 grants Great Ormond Street Hospital a unique right to royalties from stage productions and publications of Peter Pan in the UK in perpetuity. Copyright law, however, is territorial. In the US, the original 1911 novel Peter and Wendy has been in the public domain for years, which is why Disney and everyone else can freely exploit the concept of "Neverland" over there without writing a cheque to a London children's hospital (though the Mouse still claims to make regular contributions).

Maybe he should have built more rides around his music videos, such as a dark ride around Thriller, a duelling coaster around Black or White**, a wooden coaster around Leave me Alone, etc

(**You could rig the ride so that the black and white trains arrive into the station at the same time, with the voiceover announcing that "it don't matter if you're black or white!")

Rigging a duelling coaster (so that two completely separate trains, subject to different weight distributions, varying bearing friction, and wind resistance, hit the brake run at the exact millisecond required to sync up with an audio cue) aside, I'm sure the maintenance team tasked with resetting the block zones every three cycles would be absolutely thrilled with the operational mandate... but I'm glad you're enjoying your Planet Coaster 2 purchase.

Even if he didn't have much cash available himself, he could have taken the Silicon Valley approach* of using his name to attract investors into the project (although this could have ended badly if the allegations against him were still made in this alternate timeline).

(*Elon Musk is a famous exception to this rule, as he actually used his own money - rather than investors' - to fund his third big project: SpaceX)

Elon Musk didn't fund SpaceX entirely, or even mostly, with his own money. He provided the initial seed capital from his PayPal payout to get the company off the ground, the vast, overwhelming majority of SpaceX's funding comes from massive government R&D contracts and Private Equity / Venture Capital.

SpaceX has run through dozens of funding rounds, taking in billions of dollars from firms like Founders Fund, Google, Fidelity and Baillie Gifford. He is as reliant on private equity and state subsidies as Merlin Entertainments.

 

[Secret Weapon]

The Timeline where YouTube exists in 1994

I remember saying to somebody a few weeks ago that if YouTube had been around in 1994, the amount of Nemesis construction update vlogs being uploaded would have probably exhausted all of their available server space!

(Although perhaps not, as I'm not sure if Alton Towers had off-season opening days in December and February in which to film back then?)

The Timeline where the Nemesis single-rider queue was removed in order to prevent people from re-riding

For what it's worth, it has been brought to my attention (in the Flamingo Land topic - below) that Alton Towers apparently have a policy which prevents riders from immediately re-riding the same ride twice in a row (for safety reasons), so if people were using the Nemesis SRQ to re-board the ride a few seconds later then maybe this is part of the reason why the Nemesis SRQ was removed?

The Timeline where theme parks solve racism

Maybe he should have built more rides around his music videos, such as a dark ride or scare maze around Thriller, a duelling coaster around Black or White**, a wooden coaster around Leave me Alone, a hall of mirrors for Man in the Mirror, a launched coaster for Speed Demon, etc

(**You could rig the ride so that the black and white trains arrive into the station at the same time, with the voiceover announcing that "it don't matter if you're black or white!")

The Timeline where Saw is rethemed due to bad PR

One other thing I wondered was whether Saw would have been rethemed if a similar accident had occurred on that ride, given that the Saw films specifically depict graphic violence and mutilation (if nothing else, Lionsgate may have terminated the agreement even if Merlin wanted to continue).

The Timeline where British people become foreign, and foreign people become British

It's also possible that the incident may not have received quite as much publicity if the passengers had come from overseas, as the victims would have been less likely to give interviews in the British media, and it may have been of less interest to certain sections of the media begin with (as seen by the relatively little attention given to the Polish bus crash outside AT in 2008).

The Timeline where Rita, Oblivion, and Saw all have backwards-facing seats

P.S. I wonder what a backwards-facing seat on Rita would feel like (and Oblivion / Saw).

The Timeline where The Swarm braves it backwards during COVID, and so does Dolly Parton

It’s just come to my attention that Dolly Parton built a B&M wing coaster at the same time as The Swarm in 2012, and I think that Six Flags did as well.

However: unlike The Swarm, neither of those rides ever featured backwards seats

...

If “Brave it Backwards” had somehow made it until 2021 or so, I’m not sure what effect COVID would have had upon the operations

The Timeline where Thorpe Park built a hyper coaster in 2012 instead of The Swarm

That said: it didn't help that the wing coaster concept probably wasn't different enough from Nemesis Inferno, and so maybe a record-breaking hyper coaster (which John Wardley had suggested) might have fared better...

The Timeline where Alton Towers built a wing coaster instead of Thorpe Park

If Thorpe Park had built Hyperia instead of The Swarm back in 2012, then it would've given AT the opportunity to build Britain's first wing coaster* in either 2013 (instead of The Smiler) or at some point afterwards (instead of Wicker Man, or perhaps an additional new ride after COVID).

(*In my alternate history, Mandrill Mayhem never would have been built)

The Timeline where Oblivion can be considered the first B&M wing coaster

This might sound strange, but could you argue that Oblivion is kind of a wing coaster of sorts, given that some of the riders hang off the edge of the track

The Timeline where Nemesis Inferno received backwards-facing seats in 2013 instead of The Swarm

If so, then they theoretically could have actually added the backwards seat to their other B&M ride instead (Nemesis Inferno), as it doesn't seem like The Swarm itself necessarily needed 'saving' * (if the park wanted a boost then it may have made more sense to breathe new life into an older ride instead), and - as mentioned above - modifying an invert rather than a wing would have matched what was being done to the Batman rides overseas, anyway.

The Timeline where Thorpe Park moves their food outlets overseas (literally)

You might be able to get away with a food outlet on a floating ship? Although it might wobble a bit!

The Timeline where Thorpe Park became a farm rather than a theme park (and thus flooded the rest of Chertsey)

I believe the original plan in the 1970s was in fact to infill all of the lakes and return the land to agriculture, and this plan was partly abandoned due to cost / time / disruption to neighbours - not flooding, as such

The Timeline where Wicker Man was named after a barbecue

I wonder if this is why the ride has a slogan of “Feed the Flames” ?

i.e. Was the slogan for the BBQ smoke-hut restaurant intended to be “Flames that Feed !” (or something similar), so that the two attractions would have matching / symmetrical tag-lines?

P.S. Given that Heide Park copied the Wicker Man concept for their 2019 Colossos retrack, it would have been good if they had also borrowed the unused BBQ smoke-hut concept as well !

The Timeline where theme parks name their rides after drugs

Wasn't there a ride at Oakwood called 'Speed' as well?

Thinking about it now: I wonder if the nightclub-themed ride "X" at Thorpe Park was intentionally a reference to drugs, as well...

The Timeline where John Wardley was the first ever person to use the NHS

Given JW's advanced age, the NHS number probably wouldn't take up much space as it would just be the number 1 (JUST KIDDING !)

The Timeline where Merlin want their staff to quit

I wonder if Merlin want new staff each year because they realise that the staff quickly burn out and get tired of their "dream job", and thus it's better to keep importing fresh and optimistic young people each year? (Instead of improving conditions for the previous / existing set of staff)

It doesn't matter so much for mechanics etc who work behind the scenes anyway, but it's more of an issue for staff who deal directly with the public and have to put on a happy face!

The Timeline where Merlin intentionally annoy enthusiasts

People were outraged when “Nemesis Inferno” recycled the “Nemesis” name from Alton Towers, so why did Merlin recycle not only one but two names for “Oblivion: The Black Hole”? Was it simply to annoy enthusiasts?

The Timeline where Merlin intentionally misspell words

I assume that this is just a maintenance issue, but it seems strange that two adjacent attractions have conveniently both had spelling errors which led to both misspelt words still being present in the English dictionary!

The Timeline where the staff dress up as John Burton

Does anybody know why there was a line of staff greeting visitors whilst wearing high-viz vests yesterday? (see screenshot below)

Was this a tribute to John Burton's final day??

Screenshot 20260315 203413 You Tube hosted at ImgBB

Image Screenshot 20260315 203413 You Tube hosted on ImgBB

ibb.co

The Timeline where Blackpool causes innuendo

Just a quick question: given that Nemesis is often affectionately referred to as 'Nemmy', and Oblivion as 'Blivvy', does this mean that Aviktas will be referred to as 'Vicky' ?

Or would this be problematic in case somebody mentioned "having a ride on Vicky" ?? (oo-er, missus!)

Then again, there is another ride in Britain which also has a woman's name (Rita), but this doesn't appear to cause any issues with double-entendres - although that could just be because nobody wants to ride it, anyway!

The Timeline where Alton Towers is a fitness resort

A YouTuber – specifically, Colourfulthirlls (sic) – recently stated that she walked around 16 miles across Alton Towers’ opening weekend, and that she specifically visits AT in order to lose weight.

For what it’s worth, I also lost around 8 pounds during 2024, which was partly due to the amount of walking that I did across various theme parks that year – together with the physical exertion of the rides themselves (surveys show that it is the equivalent of a gym workout – see: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/theme-park-rides-lose-you-1691017 )

I wonder if Alton Towers could somehow market the park as a fitness resort? After all, they already host the annual Run at Alton Towers event! Perhaps they could have ‘markers’ along Haunted Hollow, which show the distance travelled / calories burned?

There are a few ‘negative’ aspects of the park that actually unintentionally contribute towards this as well, although they would likely never draw attention to it:-

1) The persistent closure of the monorail and Sky Ride leads to additional walking, which will probably cause further weight loss

2) The awful and overpriced food on offer at AT may cause guests to avoid overeating

3) The exhaustingly long queue-lines for Oblivion and Nemesis

The Timeline where Theme Park Worldwide name their child after a goose from Alton Towers

Apologies if I've posted this in the wrong place, but I'm not sure where else to put it - especially as the dedicated Theme Park Worldwide thread is now closed (although that may still have been the wrong place, anyway!):-

I think that Shawn Sanbrooke may have named his first-born son (George) after a goose at Alton Towers (see link below at 43:25 mark).

If he has a daughter then will he name her 'Rita' ??


From: https://youtu.be/6ERVdz4Inw8?t=43m25s