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TST Loo Users... POO-NITE!

When you've been bunged up for a few days, there's no greater feeling than being able to **** with little to no pain when compared to the past few days.
 
Not "poo" related, but...

Back me up here guys: Ever have one of those moments when you are standing there having a waz, you zone out... then the next thing you know you are falling backwards as a result of the thrust of your jetstream?
 
Got the shits again, lads. It's been a while. With a bit of luck, maybe I'll lose a bit more weight because of it.
 
Teaching staff are back at work today and low and behold the cleaners found turdzilla in one of the loos.
I am impressed with the girth of it.

Sent from my SM-J600FN using Tapatalk
 
Following on from the thread about public toilets in Corner Coffee, I thought it'd be worth mentioning one of my pet hates when it comes to public toilets.

There've been a number of occasions where I've gone for a ****, I've done the business, go to wipe...and there's no toilet paper in the cubicle. Meanwhile, I'm sat there with my pants around my ankles trying to think about what the **** I'm supposed to do. Not pleasant.
 
I laid a turd earlier and realised that to call Donald Trump a piece of **** would be insulting to the piece of **** I’d just forced out of my ****.
 
I'm on a combo of medications that basically mean frequent stomach pain and shitting bricks. I feel my intestines might fall out if I strain anymore.
 
My wife has a bad silver charm habit...very 1970's... all charms must have a relevance to our life.
God bless her...she just purchased a lovely silver miniature outside shitter.
Opening door, proper lav, high level cistern, flush chain.
 
If you ever read 'excessive consumption may produce laxative effects' on the back of certain foodstuffs (usually sugar-free sweets), then I have just this to say.

Take ******* note of that ****, because it's true.
 
Ah yes, one of my young clients managed to get through six packs of sugar free mints in one day...proceeds of shoplifting...spent the next 24 hours in the bog.
Cured his constipation and thieving habit.
 
Someone where is used to work would take loads of sweets out of my draw so the one day i swapped them out for sugar free, can have laxative affects one.
We found out who was doing it. And one of my other coworkers ( that kept having is lunch nicked) decided to swap the loo roll for rough tracing paper type loo paper.

He was off for 3 days ( company rules) and my coworker's lunch did not disappear during the 3 days.

Sent from my SM-A217F using Tapatalk
 
When I worked in a cinema we were doing checks, my mate comes out of the ladies (was closed for checks and cleaning) and tells me to go into one of the stalls

I was impressed to say the least. Absolute tree trunk of a turd
 
Was about to go to the gym a few minutes ago, but decided to have a dump first. Yep, I've got the shits again. **** sake. And I was doing quite well last week, too...despite my calves being on fire for at least four days after spending an hour on the cross-trainer on Monday evening for the first time in months. :p
 
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