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TST Loo Users... POO-NITE!

You know when the loo seat won't stay up? The other day, I had one look like it would stay up.... only to slam down and clip my ... end ... on the way. Thankfully no harm was done, other than almost having a heart attack.
 
We've been eating like kings on this Olympic gig. Everyone (it's a big crew) brings munch, and we're ordering take away every night.
I have gained half a stone. And I'm shitting like an elephant.
 
After experiencing the delights of Thorpe’s new toilets, I think it’s time Towers started thinking about modernising their crapper blocks. I’m hoping part of the sparkle budget will be allocated to this. Something new to me I noticed was the radiant heaters above the urinals in the sky ride mid station toilets.
 
Went to visit my parents over the weekend at their new house in Wiltshire. Other than a mildly uncomfortable moment during the service, it was a nice weekend. Did I make sure to use the shitter at their house before heading home on Sunday night? You bet your **** I did.
 
I know this is a bit late after the fact, but about a week ago when I was at my local church (I’m not religious, I just play the church organ) I went to the admittedly rudimentary facilities - although there’s just one, so I guess facility? Whatever, I basically seemed to dispose of half my body weight. It was abnormal, to say the least.

This confuses me. Was this the physical manifestation of the lord flushing out all my sins? Or is doing business at this scale in the house of God insulting him? Could it be a symptom of the father’s wrath he has placed apon me? Is this the flood for my sins?

Speaking of which… does anyone have a spare ark lying around? Oh, I might actually float by myself now I’m significantly lighter.
 
Now you need to work on your peristalsis young man, something some old gits get very finicky about.
You play the organ, now get used to your basic slow internal rhythm.
The alimentary canal is essential to life...four prunes a day, every day, will stop such temporary blockages.

Looks like we have another right one developing before our very eyes diogo!
 
I think I just gave birth to Bono.

....Dear god, I could FEEL it touch the bottom of the U bend before it crimped off...

😲🫣😱😖🪵🥴
 
It's not my fault! I have a friend over. We are easting about six times more a day than I would normally.
For some reason.
 
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