You know you're getting old when...

[MattyH]

Biologically, I could easily be her grandfather...
I was one of those hiding behind the settee when the daleks first started causing trouble.
My mum advised me they couldn't do stairs, and I would be safer in bed, clever woman!

Then they gave Dalek the ability to fly and nobody is safe

 

[rob666]

But I'd stopped hiding behind the settee by then.

 

[Matt.GC]

That's another thing, what happened to the word settee? It was commonly used in my house back in the 80's, now don't seem to hear it anymore.

 

[JAperson]

That's another thing, what happened to the word settee? It was commonly used in my house back in the 80's, now don't seem to hear it anymore.

It's long and awkward, we hip young folk like to call 'em a SOFA.

 

[MattyH]

Pet hates thread is over 500 pages.

I posted on page 4.

 

[rob666]

Yeah, you grumpy old *******, getting confused again.
You posted on page one, not four.
And I still **** one handed.
Time for my afternoon nap...
Edit,,,yeah...my muddled old mind...pet hates/getting old/getting confused while pre napping...

 

[NuttySquirrel]

...When every single member of England's World Cup squad is younger than you...

 

[Shaggy_Dog_]

...When every single member of England's World Cup squad is younger than you...

No, you know you are getting old when you are old enough to be the parent to most of them!

 

[rob666]

...or grandparent even...
No not a chance...I had my snip early.

 

[rob666]

...you eventually remember where the topic is, but by the time you find it...you have forgotten what you were going to ******* write.
Double post (but months apart)...so whip me slowly, with a smile.

 

[RyanUK]

You conk out for a while on the sofa circa 6pm.

 

[rob666]

You conk out for the night at 8pm!
My pick/n/mix was half price, as I have only just discovered!
It is on a work reciept for seeds and flower bombs, don't think it will slip past the accountant.

 

[MattyH]

You get an invite to a 30th birthday party.

 

[rob666]

...you cringe to the soundtrack of the latest M&S tv ad.
No, you really can't use anything off Screamadelica by Primal Scream.
Thirty years?
**** I'm old.
Loaded...
"Just what is it that you want to do?
We wanna be free
We wanna be free to do what we wanna do
And we wanna get loaded
And we wanna have a good time
That's what we're gonna do
(No way baby, let's go!)
We're gonna have a good time
We're gonna have a party"

...or we are going to sell the M&S summer clothing collection.

 

[Slugjc]

...you cringe to the soundtrack of the latest M&S tv ad.
No, you really can't use anything off Screamadelica by Primal Scream.
Thirty years?
**** I'm old.
Loaded...
"Just what is it that you want to do?
We wanna be free
We wanna be free to do what we wanna do
And we wanna get loaded
And we wanna have a good time
That's what we're gonna do
(No way baby, let's go!)
We're gonna have a good time
We're gonna have a party"

...or we are going to sell the M&S summer clothing collection.

I'm still upset no football programme or goal montage features the lightning seeds anymore.

 

[Poisson]

Having an afternoon nap feels like a good way to spend an hour or two on a bank holiday

 

[rob666]

...it takes three months for a ******* twisted ankle to heal.
Two or three weeks with skateboard "wankles...(wankered ankle)" as we knew them decades ago when I was young(er).
Now, three whole months later, I'm still limping after a couple of hours work.
Three days running I couldn't book a doctors appointment, so I nip into the surgery to book in person...only to get a bollocking for not booking on the phone.
Kiss my whip woman...
She wouldn't.

 

[rob666]

Correction to the above post.
Four months...with three weeks of (excellent, nhs) intensive physio input and exercises to fix a wankle.
Ride the lights at Blackpool tonight, and I have a nice new bike to play out on, posh drop handled tourer, just right for an old ***, and I love the ride.
So, which old ******* ailment shall I use as an excuse this year then?
Wrist tendonitis?
Hip bursitis?
ACL knee swelling?
Wankle?
Old age is ****...get your fun in while you can...you have been told.
I'm only fit for Icon, for fucks sake.

 

[BooMT]

Facebook memories bring up your very last ents role at Merlin (we did a promo shoot for Xmas in Summer! I'm the Elf with red hair)... There was me thinking it was about 2 years ago... no, it was 7

I can hear the Bingo hall calling my name!

 

[Squiggs]

..that new rapids ride at Legoland is retired.