DiogoJ42
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- The Metropolitan Line
Cast your mind back, if you will, to September 1997. Tony Blair was the fresh face that heralded a new hope for Britain (LOL), the country was still reeling from the death of princess Di, and I was about start year 10.
Two of my friends, who I often visited Chessie with, were on holiday in Spain. One of them sent me this postcard:
(I've censored it but it is still NSFW)
Ever since then, I have drooled over Dragon Khan. Finally, after waiting half my life, I got to ride it for myself.
We set of from Luton on Tuesday evening. Despite it being Ryanair, it was a perfectly acceptable flight. We landed at “the magic hour”, where twilight is giving way to darkness and everything looks pretty from the air. Sadly we were on the wrong side of the plane to see the park.
Stepping out of the 737-800NG, I was hit by a wall of hot, humid air. You could tell we weren't in Blighty any more.
We had all gone hand luggage only to avoid the extortionate fees, so within minutes all 9 of us were in taxis on the way to Hotel Portaventura. Check in was swift and painless. After getting settled we decided to hit the bar.
… And here was the problem. The only thing that even came close to a bar was going to shut at 11pm. That's the only real complaint I have about the hotel, It's very nice, but there is sod all to do in the evenings.
We downed a few jugs of sangria, then a few of us decided to wander in to town in search of more booze.
A pleasant evening was had on the beach, and I must admit I got rather intoxicated. Thankfully we got a cab back to the hotel.
I kept waking up in the night feeling like I was in an oven. The room's air conditioner wouldn't go any lower than 20'C, and kept defaulting to 27'C! (On subsequent evenings we left the balcony door open.)
Wednesday:
Ride Count:
Furious Baco x 1
Rapids x 2
Shambhala x 10
Dragon Khan x 1
El Diablo x 1
Horse thingy x 1
Secret de los Mayas x 1
Sombrero type thing x 1
Tomahawk x 1
Stampida Blue x 1
Stampida Red x 1
Flume x 1
Crazy Barrels x 1
Tutuki Splash x 1
Sea Odyssey x 1
Tami Tami x 1
Magic fish x 1
Coco Piloto x 1
I awoke with an evil headache. Never have been able to deal with wine hangovers. Thankfully it was nothing a few painkillers couldn't fix. Onwards, to the park!
The view that greeted us on entering the park. Some visual diatribe, with some epic on the horizon:
We hit Baco first. A mistake given my hangover. But a second ride on the last day confirmed that it is, without a doubt, the worst ride I have ever been on. I can forgive roughness if the layout is good, but there is not a single redeeming feature about this coaster. A basic figure eight with a barrel roll thrown on the end, taken at high speed, in the worst designed coaster train in history. I will never complain about Saw, Infusion or Colossus again! This is definitely a case of “I have the credit, and never want to ride this thing again as long as I live.
The rapids next, with all 9 of us squished in to one boat. One of the best water rides I have been on. We were spinning so fast at points that it was comparable to a Waltzer. The wetness level was spot on, given that it was already shaping up to be a very warm day.
Next up was the ride everyone had been looking forward to, Shambhala. The ride that stole Silver Star's crown as Europe's tallest coaster...
...Wow. There really is no way of putting in to words how amazing this beast is. It makes Sylvia look like a kiddy coaster. The views from the top, looking out to sea, are spectacular. The first drop is amazing, the speed and pacing is spot on, and it really is a thing of beauty to behold. It instantly found itself at number 3 in my personal chart of epic coasters. I'm almost tempted to make it number 2, but Ultimate just beats it for the insanity.
The only real complaint I have is the lack of a front row queue. The fast track queue feeds directly in to the front bays. So unless you pay, or it is quiet and you get lucky, you have no choice. Thankfully I managed to get one ride at the front. Dang, it's special!
Best. View. EVER.
Finally, after a wait of 16 years, I got to ride Dragon Khan. It was worth the wait.
A John Wardley designed, 8 inversion B&M. How could it not be amazing? This is a proper old school B&M, only one year younger than Nemesis, and you can tell. It's extremely forceful from start to finish, with my personal highlight being the zero G roll. It whips you over like crazy, I've never been on an element like it before. Me gusta! Sure, it's got a little rattly in it's old age, but rough? Bitch, please. This is the same park that has Baco!
Sadly it is overshadowed (literally) by the much more re-ridable Shambhala now. I would have loved to get many more rides on DK, but with Shambles next door there was no contest.
Did I mention how tall this baby is?
El Diablo is a pretty standard mine train. Not much to write home about, but fun nevertheless. I'd take Colorado Adventure over this any day.
Secret de los Mayas is a new mirror maze. Pretty good, but nothing special.
Tomahawk, the junior woody, was little more than a credit. Better than Blackpool's junior woody, but that's about all I can say for it.
Stampida, the Wardley racing Woody, left me feeling very cold. While it had a couple of moments of decent air (the double up being the highlight), ultimately it just felt old and knackered. Front row was entertaining enough though. The Kumbak trains were surprisingly comfortable, given the company's reputation. They were only running one train per side, and only filling the front half of each train, so capacity was an issue as well. In fact, the only coaster that was on two trains was Baco! Typical!
Crazy Barrels is a Huss Breakdance. Sadly, it is run on a pathetic setting. NEXT!
Tutuki Splash is famous for being a boat ride that managed to derail. It's a pretty good ride. Not as wet as Tidal Wave, although it probably felt more acceptable due to the warm weather. The only bad thing is that the roofs of both tunnels are covered in chewing gum. Ewwww!
The last ride of note is Tami Tami, a kiddy coaster, and my 150th credit to date. Nothing to write home about, but very nicely presented for what it is.
The view from our hotel balcony:
After returning to the hotel and freshening up / relaxing for an hour or two, we wandered in to Salou for the evening. We wandered the sea front, being leapt upon by a “barker” (not sure what to call these guys) every ten feet, offering us cheap booze. Eventually one of them was charming enough to win us over, and we had a very pleasant meal looking out over the beach. I ordered a pina colada, and found it presented in the most over the top fashion imaginable. A whole pineapple, covered in sparkly tinsel type things, three foot long straws, and a firework in the middle. Not a just sparkler, but something that I was scared to go near till it had burnt out!
Scary cocktail (Credit to Ant):
After dinner, Danny (the Barker) offered to get us in to a club free. He reminded me of the camp Latino guy in The Simpsons.
Kelpie wanted an early night as she was still fighting off the tail end of a cold, so we returned to the hotel. Most of the others followed an hour or so later, but two of our party had rather a large bender. Let's just leave it at that shall we? No need to name and shame the person who severely injured themselves and trashed their hotel room, is there Ant?
Thursday:
Ride Count:
Rapids x 1
Stampida Red x 1
Dragon Khan x 1
Shambhala x 3
We Are Music Generation (show) x 1
Magic Fish x 1
Tami Tami x 1
This was our “lazy day”. In fact, three people didn't even set foot in the park at all. Though in fairness one of them was half dead
EPT... Exclusive Pool Time (credit to Kelpie):
After a lie in followed by breakfast, we relaxed in our room for a while before hitting the hotel pool. It wasn't till that evening that we realised there was a much bigger pool on the other side of the hotel, but meh, we had it to ourselves. The water was a tad on the cold side but it was nice to cool off.
After an hour or so we returned to our room, got changed and hit the park in time for lunch.
“We Are Music generation” is the show in the large theatre opposite Khan. The auditorium is huge, and must be able to seat a good couple of thousand. The show itself is clearly very big budget, and you can tell they spent a lot of money on it. It's a shame it is utter pants. It's in the same vein as Europa's “Luminosity”, but without the finesse.
They have a very impressive lighting rig, but whoever programmed it needs shooting. Far too much going on at once, and no keylight on the performers. Most of the time you can only see their silhouette against a mass of beams. Then halfway through, when the acrobats came out, it suddenly shifts to being more classy lighting. Almost as if two different people programmed the show. But still, you could not see the faces of the people on stage.
The audio was dire as well, for such a big venue, it was lacking in base, and surprisingly quiet.
Still, I doubt I'll ever get to see a Spanish Freddy Mercury impersonator again.
I make this hat cool (credit to Dan B):
Our last evening was spent on resort. We ate at the buffet, which unfortunately was very disappointing. The food was edible but boring, and the staff were very rude. Our waiter laid the bill on the table before I had a chance to order a drink, so I was on water for that meal. He then kept returning and tapping on the bill. We refused to pay until we had eaten, and made sure not to leave a single cent tip.
We left at 22:30, to find the only bar was shut. Unable to find a drink, and unwilling to trek in to town again, we spent the night chatting by the pool. Fun was had, but a drink or two would have been nice.
Friday:
Ride count:
Tutuki Splash x 1
Sea Odyssey x 1
Magic Fish x 1
Shambhala x 3
Saloon show x 1
Secret de los Mayas x 1
Sombrero type thing x 1
Rapids x 3
Furious Baco x 1
Tractors x 1
Dragon Khan x 1
The only thing left to write about on our last day is the saloon show.
We took our seats at tables near the stage in the saloon of the western area. I didn't know what to expect, but was pleasantly surprised when the curtains opened to reveal corset clad showgirls
The next half hour alternated between burlesque style dancers and cowboy slapstick. The whole saloon was used, not just the stage, with fights taking place right in front of us, and dancing girls on the bar. Even though it was all in Spanish, it was easy enough to follow. Dan got pulled up by the cowboys to participate in a few gags, which added to the humour.
It's up there with the EP Arena show as one of the few theme park shows I would gladly see again. Very entertaining.
Shambhala ORP. You get a shot of the whole train as well as your car:
It goes without saying that we ended out trip with Shambles. A quick stop off for merch, and we found ourselves back at the hotel, waiting for a taxi to the airport.
Turns out we could have had another hour or so on park, but we didn't realise just how small and empty the terminal was. Ah well.
The airport security was on a par with Eurostar, the way it should be, and used to be in the good old days.
Flight home was uneventful, save for the horrific fartathon from the idiots sitting in front of me. Honestly guys, the whole plane was giving you death stares!
This trip was a rare thing; it actually felt like a holiday, rather than a mad dash round theme parks. I had a great time, despite a few irritations. I would gladly return to Portaventura, as long as it is at this time of year. I don't think I could cope with a Spanish summer, and the park was nice and quiet (I've heard some horror stories about peak season!)
Group shot (credit to Ant):
Highlights:
* Shambles.
* Rapids.
* Shambles.
* Khan.
* Shambles.
* Ant trying to eat lobster.
* Shambles.
* Lovely weather, just right for me.
* Shambles.
* ”el Juan Paccos”.
* Shambles.
* Ant trashing the light switch in his room.
* Shambles.
* Getting time to relax for once on a theme park trip.
* Shambles.
* Danny the Barker.
* Shambles.
* “Mr Bouncy” working out in slow motion on the beach while we ate.
* Shambles.
* Saloon show.
* Shambles.
* Eating more ice cream in 3 days than I have in the last 6 months.
* Did I mention Shambles?
Lowlights:
* Baco. Worst. Coaster. Ever.
* Lack of available booze in the evenings.
* No front row queues.
* Fail air con in our room.
* Sun burn. I really don't cope well with the sun.
* Rude waiter and mediocre buffet.
* Low capacity rides. I dread to think how bad it must be on a busy day.
Time to head home (credit to Dan B):
Two of my friends, who I often visited Chessie with, were on holiday in Spain. One of them sent me this postcard:
(I've censored it but it is still NSFW)
Ever since then, I have drooled over Dragon Khan. Finally, after waiting half my life, I got to ride it for myself.
We set of from Luton on Tuesday evening. Despite it being Ryanair, it was a perfectly acceptable flight. We landed at “the magic hour”, where twilight is giving way to darkness and everything looks pretty from the air. Sadly we were on the wrong side of the plane to see the park.
Stepping out of the 737-800NG, I was hit by a wall of hot, humid air. You could tell we weren't in Blighty any more.
We had all gone hand luggage only to avoid the extortionate fees, so within minutes all 9 of us were in taxis on the way to Hotel Portaventura. Check in was swift and painless. After getting settled we decided to hit the bar.
… And here was the problem. The only thing that even came close to a bar was going to shut at 11pm. That's the only real complaint I have about the hotel, It's very nice, but there is sod all to do in the evenings.
We downed a few jugs of sangria, then a few of us decided to wander in to town in search of more booze.
A pleasant evening was had on the beach, and I must admit I got rather intoxicated.
Thankfully we got a cab back to the hotel.I kept waking up in the night feeling like I was in an oven. The room's air conditioner wouldn't go any lower than 20'C, and kept defaulting to 27'C! (On subsequent evenings we left the balcony door open.)
Wednesday:
Ride Count:
Furious Baco x 1
Rapids x 2
Shambhala x 10
Dragon Khan x 1
El Diablo x 1
Horse thingy x 1
Secret de los Mayas x 1
Sombrero type thing x 1
Tomahawk x 1
Stampida Blue x 1
Stampida Red x 1
Flume x 1
Crazy Barrels x 1
Tutuki Splash x 1
Sea Odyssey x 1
Tami Tami x 1
Magic fish x 1
Coco Piloto x 1
I awoke with an evil headache. Never have been able to deal with wine hangovers. Thankfully it was nothing a few painkillers couldn't fix. Onwards, to the park!
The view that greeted us on entering the park. Some visual diatribe, with some epic on the horizon:
We hit Baco first. A mistake given my hangover. But a second ride on the last day confirmed that it is, without a doubt, the worst ride I have ever been on. I can forgive roughness if the layout is good, but there is not a single redeeming feature about this coaster. A basic figure eight with a barrel roll thrown on the end, taken at high speed, in the worst designed coaster train in history. I will never complain about Saw, Infusion or Colossus again! This is definitely a case of “I have the credit, and never want to ride this thing again as long as I live.
The rapids next, with all 9 of us squished in to one boat. One of the best water rides I have been on. We were spinning so fast at points that it was comparable to a Waltzer. The wetness level was spot on, given that it was already shaping up to be a very warm day.
Next up was the ride everyone had been looking forward to, Shambhala. The ride that stole Silver Star's crown as Europe's tallest coaster...
...Wow. There really is no way of putting in to words how amazing this beast is. It makes Sylvia look like a kiddy coaster. The views from the top, looking out to sea, are spectacular. The first drop is amazing, the speed and pacing is spot on, and it really is a thing of beauty to behold. It instantly found itself at number 3 in my personal chart of epic coasters. I'm almost tempted to make it number 2, but Ultimate just beats it for the insanity.
The only real complaint I have is the lack of a front row queue. The fast track queue feeds directly in to the front bays. So unless you pay, or it is quiet and you get lucky, you have no choice. Thankfully I managed to get one ride at the front. Dang, it's special!
Best. View. EVER.
Finally, after a wait of 16 years, I got to ride Dragon Khan. It was worth the wait.
A John Wardley designed, 8 inversion B&M. How could it not be amazing? This is a proper old school B&M, only one year younger than Nemesis, and you can tell. It's extremely forceful from start to finish, with my personal highlight being the zero G roll. It whips you over like crazy, I've never been on an element like it before. Me gusta! Sure, it's got a little rattly in it's old age, but rough? Bitch, please. This is the same park that has Baco!
Sadly it is overshadowed (literally) by the much more re-ridable Shambhala now. I would have loved to get many more rides on DK, but with Shambles next door there was no contest.
Did I mention how tall this baby is?
El Diablo is a pretty standard mine train. Not much to write home about, but fun nevertheless. I'd take Colorado Adventure over this any day.
Secret de los Mayas is a new mirror maze. Pretty good, but nothing special.
Tomahawk, the junior woody, was little more than a credit. Better than Blackpool's junior woody, but that's about all I can say for it.
Stampida, the Wardley racing Woody, left me feeling very cold. While it had a couple of moments of decent air (the double up being the highlight), ultimately it just felt old and knackered. Front row was entertaining enough though. The Kumbak trains were surprisingly comfortable, given the company's reputation. They were only running one train per side, and only filling the front half of each train, so capacity was an issue as well. In fact, the only coaster that was on two trains was Baco! Typical!
Crazy Barrels is a Huss Breakdance. Sadly, it is run on a pathetic setting. NEXT!
Tutuki Splash is famous for being a boat ride that managed to derail. It's a pretty good ride. Not as wet as Tidal Wave, although it probably felt more acceptable due to the warm weather. The only bad thing is that the roofs of both tunnels are covered in chewing gum. Ewwww!
The last ride of note is Tami Tami, a kiddy coaster, and my 150th credit to date. Nothing to write home about, but very nicely presented for what it is.
The view from our hotel balcony:
After returning to the hotel and freshening up / relaxing for an hour or two, we wandered in to Salou for the evening. We wandered the sea front, being leapt upon by a “barker” (not sure what to call these guys) every ten feet, offering us cheap booze. Eventually one of them was charming enough to win us over, and we had a very pleasant meal looking out over the beach. I ordered a pina colada, and found it presented in the most over the top fashion imaginable. A whole pineapple, covered in sparkly tinsel type things, three foot long straws, and a firework in the middle. Not a just sparkler, but something that I was scared to go near till it had burnt out!
Scary cocktail (Credit to Ant):
After dinner, Danny (the Barker) offered to get us in to a club free. He reminded me of the camp Latino guy in The Simpsons.
Kelpie wanted an early night as she was still fighting off the tail end of a cold, so we returned to the hotel. Most of the others followed an hour or so later, but two of our party had rather a large bender. Let's just leave it at that shall we? No need to name and shame the person who severely injured themselves and trashed their hotel room, is there Ant?
Thursday:
Ride Count:
Rapids x 1
Stampida Red x 1
Dragon Khan x 1
Shambhala x 3
We Are Music Generation (show) x 1
Magic Fish x 1
Tami Tami x 1
This was our “lazy day”. In fact, three people didn't even set foot in the park at all. Though in fairness one of them was half dead
EPT... Exclusive Pool Time (credit to Kelpie):
After a lie in followed by breakfast, we relaxed in our room for a while before hitting the hotel pool. It wasn't till that evening that we realised there was a much bigger pool on the other side of the hotel, but meh, we had it to ourselves. The water was a tad on the cold side but it was nice to cool off.
After an hour or so we returned to our room, got changed and hit the park in time for lunch.
“We Are Music generation” is the show in the large theatre opposite Khan. The auditorium is huge, and must be able to seat a good couple of thousand. The show itself is clearly very big budget, and you can tell they spent a lot of money on it. It's a shame it is utter pants. It's in the same vein as Europa's “Luminosity”, but without the finesse.
They have a very impressive lighting rig, but whoever programmed it needs shooting. Far too much going on at once, and no keylight on the performers. Most of the time you can only see their silhouette against a mass of beams. Then halfway through, when the acrobats came out, it suddenly shifts to being more classy lighting. Almost as if two different people programmed the show. But still, you could not see the faces of the people on stage.
The audio was dire as well, for such a big venue, it was lacking in base, and surprisingly quiet.
Still, I doubt I'll ever get to see a Spanish Freddy Mercury impersonator again.
I make this hat cool (credit to Dan B):
Our last evening was spent on resort. We ate at the buffet, which unfortunately was very disappointing. The food was edible but boring, and the staff were very rude. Our waiter laid the bill on the table before I had a chance to order a drink, so I was on water for that meal. He then kept returning and tapping on the bill. We refused to pay until we had eaten, and made sure not to leave a single cent tip.
We left at 22:30, to find the only bar was shut. Unable to find a drink, and unwilling to trek in to town again, we spent the night chatting by the pool. Fun was had, but a drink or two would have been nice.
Friday:
Ride count:
Tutuki Splash x 1
Sea Odyssey x 1
Magic Fish x 1
Shambhala x 3
Saloon show x 1
Secret de los Mayas x 1
Sombrero type thing x 1
Rapids x 3
Furious Baco x 1
Tractors x 1
Dragon Khan x 1
The only thing left to write about on our last day is the saloon show.
We took our seats at tables near the stage in the saloon of the western area. I didn't know what to expect, but was pleasantly surprised when the curtains opened to reveal corset clad showgirls
The next half hour alternated between burlesque style dancers and cowboy slapstick. The whole saloon was used, not just the stage, with fights taking place right in front of us, and dancing girls on the bar. Even though it was all in Spanish, it was easy enough to follow. Dan got pulled up by the cowboys to participate in a few gags, which added to the humour.
It's up there with the EP Arena show as one of the few theme park shows I would gladly see again. Very entertaining.
Shambhala ORP. You get a shot of the whole train as well as your car:
It goes without saying that we ended out trip with Shambles. A quick stop off for merch, and we found ourselves back at the hotel, waiting for a taxi to the airport.
Turns out we could have had another hour or so on park, but we didn't realise just how small and empty the terminal was. Ah well.
The airport security was on a par with Eurostar, the way it should be, and used to be in the good old days.
Flight home was uneventful, save for the horrific fartathon from the idiots sitting in front of me. Honestly guys, the whole plane was giving you death stares!
This trip was a rare thing; it actually felt like a holiday, rather than a mad dash round theme parks. I had a great time, despite a few irritations. I would gladly return to Portaventura, as long as it is at this time of year. I don't think I could cope with a Spanish summer, and the park was nice and quiet (I've heard some horror stories about peak season!)
Group shot (credit to Ant):
Highlights:
* Shambles.
* Rapids.
* Shambles.
* Khan.
* Shambles.
* Ant trying to eat lobster.
* Shambles.
* Lovely weather, just right for me.
* Shambles.
* ”el Juan Paccos”.
* Shambles.
* Ant trashing the light switch in his room.
* Shambles.
* Getting time to relax for once on a theme park trip.
* Shambles.
* Danny the Barker.
* Shambles.
* “Mr Bouncy” working out in slow motion on the beach while we ate.
* Shambles.
* Saloon show.
* Shambles.
* Eating more ice cream in 3 days than I have in the last 6 months.
* Did I mention Shambles?
Lowlights:
* Baco. Worst. Coaster. Ever.
* Lack of available booze in the evenings.
* No front row queues.
* Fail air con in our room.
* Sun burn. I really don't cope well with the sun.
* Rude waiter and mediocre buffet.
* Low capacity rides. I dread to think how bad it must be on a busy day.
Time to head home
(credit to Dan B):
