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Europa Park: The Imperfections

One of my best Rapids ride ever was on Fjord-Rafting in July 2013 during the midnight opening. I was on park with my brother, and it was gone 11pm. Got stuck in the queue during the fireworks, but we didn't really mind. Ended up on a boat with a bunch of Germans, and while we didn't understand each other, what followed was one of the funniest rides on a Rapids I've ever had. Everyone got really wet, and nobody cared. :p
 
River Quest Phantasialand
Parc Asterix rapids
Congo river rapids on a good day.

These are better than Fjord Rafting.

I mean it's better than Rumba Rapids but then that's not difficult.
Asterix's and Congo River Rapids over Fjord? Lol.

Congo River Rapids doesn't have good days. It's a glorified lazy river.
 
The building that houses play area in Portugal, although less offended by this than I once was, it really needs work
The weird thing about this is that it would be super easy to theme an indoor play area in a Portuguese / Mediterranean / vaguely nautical style!
On days where the park is very full, paths in some of the older areas of the park (France and Italy) do struggle to cope with crowds
I've long been of the (controversial?) opinion that they should remove the fountains and turn the middle of Italy into an open plaza, to help ease congestion a little bit.
Congo river rapids on a good day.

These are better than Fjord Rafting.
No. ❤️

I have to say, I'm not really bothered about any of the things mentioned above (even when Blue Fire's audio is working I barely notice it). By far and away the worst thing in the park hasn't been mentioned at all: Euro-Mir's outdoor queue.
 
When it was looping CSO during Halloween, it was a misery. That song is 3 minutes long, great for the lift and station but hell in the pen
 
It is much more engrained in the culture. The only zone I saw in a park was that Movie Park banned smoking in the kids area.
 
Fjord may be pretty but the layout isn't amazing.

Better than CRR though. River Quest is still superior.
 
In another forum I once wrote (a bit tongue in cheek) about the "Ugly heart of Europa-Park": The stretch in the middle of the park from the Flight of Icarus Balloons, Battle of Hydra, Traumzeitdome (now all removed) over the outdoor queue of Euro-mir, the green snack place, the stinking Silverstone cars to the arena of football. I argued that in this area, where the park has its thinnest dimension in its hourglass shape, so everybody has always to cross it getting from the front to the back of the park and back again, the aestetical standard is lower than in all the other areas. Not hideous per se, but sub par for Europa-Park. One reason is that a lot of those things are either very old or only thought temporary like Traumzeitdome and Arena of Football.

Luckily, now demolition of the first 3 attraction has removed some concerns, and I hope that in the next years the Park will approach the others. I know from an interview that the green snack is already planned to be revamped, I hope that Silverstone will change to electrical like the train did, and we all assume that Euro-Mir will be refurbished in the near future. The arena of football was at a time planned to be removed for the new coaster, as we learned from the documentation, and it is now used as a showroom for Yullbe VR, so I am quite sure that there will be a change, too.

My personal micro-pet peeve: Why has nobody removed the Wild West style windmill in the Austrian quarter yet? It is the last remnant of the former "Adventureland" theming of this area of Alpenexpress and Wildwasserbahn before it was reconfigured to Austria in 1992.
 
What’s the latest on the best places Dan, any signs of reopening? Magellan Lounge, upstairs O’Mackays, Crocodile Bar etc
O'M upstairs open Friday to Sunday currently. Magellan and Crocodile closed, but I am aware that staffing should be massively improved across EP by the summer holidays.

That said, those two were never open daily anyway. Hopefully we'll see them this year!

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VR….

Please, please stop with the VR obsession.

Queues at food outlets I 100% agree with.

I also find the table service bars at the hotel hit and miss. Sometimes there can be long waits in the bars for a drink. Although, never happens to me in Spirit of St Louis, prob helps that I’m a frequent visitor.

I’m also not a fan of rides like Bench and piccolo mondo still existing in the park (is this an instant ban?). Especially as the latter had a spruce up from Ciao Bambini. These need modernising and really don’t fit with the rest of the park.

If I was really picking holes, it wouldn’t hurt for some ride ops to smile from time to time. Yes, they’re probably the best ride ops in the world but they’re not very welcoming! There are some happy ones there too.
 
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Bench is crap. Definitely would benefit from a facelift with a bulldozer.

VR can work. Can Can should be good if it was done properly and the separate station makes sense but the current film/performance issues ruin it.
 
I think the little dark rides are quite important in their own way. It means that Europa Park has a good smattering of kids rides around the park, rather than them all being clustered in one or two children’s areas. It also means that there’s a good smattering of wheel chair accessible rides around the park. Basically, most areas have something for everyone. It also helps to give them a high number of undercover attractions, for when it’s raining. They don’t take up a lot of space, so if you did remove them there’s a limit to what you could do with the space.

When you look at parks with low ratings on Trip Advisor, I suspect a few rides like Piccolo Mondo would help. Low quality children’s rides often get very long queues, because things like kids’ roundabout have such low throughputs. I’ve heard quite a few stories about people queuing for 45 minutes for a standard roundabout in Thomasland or Peppa Pig World. Compared to most children’s rides, these dark rides really shift the queues. Would you rather queue 45 minutes for Cranky’s Drop Tower or ride Piccolo Mondo after 3 minutes? Given how multi-cultural the park is, it’s also good that you don’t need any German to understand them. These rides are all very self explanatory.
 
Smoking everywhere, complimented by fag machines selling more. Although I note that the fag machine by the toilets in Iceland was missing on my last visit and that smoking seems to be a cultural difference on the continental mainland as it's the same in all parks out there. DLP is still the worse park I've ever visited for inconsiderate smokers.

The awful Fjord Rafting cattlepen.

The cheap feel of the England station "Paddington".

The views of the car park from Silver Star.

The toilets in Germany are a bit Alton Towers esque.

The theming of Euro Mir. Very 80's.

Mostly nit picks however in an otherwise glorious park.
 
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EP has a great balance of major attractions to filler rides. Means even on the busiest days there is always something to do without always needing to queue a lot time, a variety of rides for all ages and absorbs guest capacity.

Yeah I’d happily condemn Bench to death but I imagine they will, and rightly so, just give it a complete overhaul and retheme ala. Madame Freundenreich.

That Gastronomy capacity needs work is no secret. Fear sadly it will take a while as the park’s understaffing crisis continues.

As for VR I think it doesn’t hurt majorly anyone. It’s all set up for minimal capacity reduction at it’s respective rides. And together with YULLBE all add an unique extra offering to those guests interested and willing to pay the fee. EP is doing it right (could be cheaper ofc but nothing is perfect I guess).
As for quality Alpenexpress had its headsets renewed last year and I can’t imagine Eurosat is too far behind - wouldn’t be surprised if that comes with a new film too.

My pet peeve are the game stalls and arcade machines. Some are respectfully embedded in their areas. However many and increasingly newly added ones have been garishly plonked in places. Arcade games tent and Alpha Mods remote controlled cars along the nice Parisan themed side of Eurosat opposite Silver Star come to mind in particular.

I understand it’s an easy way to make some extra money however they take me somewhat out of the otherwise wonderfully done areas. None at or just a small few themed ones all to preserve the environments like Phantasialand, Toverland and Efteling would be preferable. Want to feel like I’m in Europa Park not any random seaside arcade.
 
The lack of Roland's Pleasure Squad to welcome you to your 4* hotel

When we stayed the fire alarm kept going off every morning.

The fact there's no fancy lift in the other hotels apart from El Andulez
 
1) Play area in Portugal - ugly as sin

2) Food and bev can get overwhelmed.

3) Euromir needs destroying

4) Stupid uniform change on Wodan

5) Euromir needs destroying

6) Lack of theming in queue areas of Rulantica.

7) Euromir needs destroying.
 
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