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Europa Park: The Imperfections

Danny

Danny

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Perfection is generally hard to come by. It's nigh-on impossible to achieve when it comes to the leisure and hospitality industry. One guest's needs and satisfaction are another guest's beta noire.

Efteling is a great example. It submerges its range of rides and attractions in copious amounts of detailed theming and immersive storytelling. Yet, the ride hardware is below par in comparison (I won't be convinced otherwise). For those who revel in themed escapism, Efteling is a testament to that concept. Yet, for those willing to have a stripped-down thematic experience and focus purely on the rides, it lacks in comparison to other competitor parks. In many aspects, it may be perfect, yet in others, it simply fails to hit the mark.

Any Disney resort is the same. The sheer effort invested by Imagineers and staff for innovation and presentation is unrivalled. Yet, the poor queue management or even the arrogant attitude of other guests can slice through the perfect facade. Then there's WDS, the colostomy bag of the entire show. Perfection cannot be found here.

And as much Europa is universally loved around these parts by us, it isn't without its flaws; some more obvious than others. So, please take off your rose-tinted specs and let's hear your biggest grievances and thoughts on the imperfections of EP. I'll start us off:

- Blue Fire train audio. Riding Blue Fire at night with the soundtrack blaring in your ears is euphoric. Yet, I've not had this experience since 2017. The speakers are right there on the trains, and onboard audio is present on other rides. What gives with Blue Fire?

- Food/drink outlet availability. The recent COVID restrictions played havoc with availability for some outlets across the park, but even before then, some outlets were notoriously tricky to get into. Boat Bar. Roland's Lodge. Crocodile Bar. These days, even Walter's Wurst.

- Rulantica slide queues. Perhaps the most jarring part of the Rulantica experience is the void spaces in the queue lines. I know a bit of work has been done to rectify this since opening, but this was perhaps the biggest chute back to reality when surrounded by brand new theming and a story-driven narrative.
 
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- The O Mackays

anyway

When I visited last month there was a number of effects broken, no doubt due to the amount of other projects being taken on currently. To your average visitor (I went with 2 friends who'd never been before), you'd not notice, but as a semi-regular guest, the likes of the low-fog not working on Arthur, some very quiet audio across the board, the lights not coming on at the top of the Euro Mir lift hill leaving the scene of the astronauts in darkness, and there being none of that lovely scent in Diamond Mine, were noticeable.

I'll also mention the room just before the drop in Piraten in Batavia. What on earth is going on here? It's a completely dead space, which wouldn't be too bad if it was pitch black (like the fog room on DVH at Efteling), but it is lit just enough to see the bare concrete walls and the scene ahead of you due to the spacing between boats (or lack thereof).
 
I'm aware that this was likely a very short term fix to replace something Gazprom-related, but Blue Fire's queue was something I noticed on my recent visit. I thought the building with nothing aside from the big advertising screen was a bit random and felt a bit out of place, and I didn't really know what Blue Fire's theme was supposed to be before I got on the ride, in all truth. Perhaps they could add something to tell the story of the ride, or at least fit with the theme and link with the dark ride section, in there?
 
For me it’s merchandise. I LOVE Europa Park, but barely have any merchandise because there is never anything that catches my eye, it often seems very ‘kiddy’ or clothes orientated. I prefer more homeware and art stuff which has always felt lacking.

For somewhere that puts so much effort into quality in other aspects, this has always felt like the area that misses the mark for me.
 
Everybody bangs on about AT toilets being lacking in hot water, but I only found this in the toilets in Iceland. Every other set of toilets was just very cold water.

Energylandia has for me the ultimate toilets, hot water, air conditioning and themed toilets too.
 
Good topic this. There’s definitely some truth in EP getting a pass on some deficiencies because of how high quality a product they otherwise provide. For me, some areas for improvement are: -

- Park-wide audio quality is spotty. It is often quiet or inaudible and it’s a real shame not to be able to hear some of the great scores.

- Similarly some of the audio loops are a little short. Italy and Spain being a good example of the same few tracks being repeated.

- Food service efficiency is often quite poor. This results in some pretty horrendous queues at certain outlets. Even on quieter day Taverna Mykonos seems to often be overwhelmed.

- Resort food price variety is not great. If you want to eat at a restaurant you’re likely going to drop €30pp minimum, with the exception of Pizzeria Romantica, unless you head to the Camp Resort. One or two more quick service options wouldn’t go amiss if you don’t fancy a full sit down meal or eating in a bar after a long park day.

- Hotel pillows. Yes I’m really nit picking now, but they really aren’t great.
 
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venny said:
Good topic this. There’s definitely some truth in EP getting a pass on some deficiencies because of how high quality a product they otherwise provide. For me, some areas for improvement are: -

- Park-wide audio quality is spotty. It is often quiet or inaudible and it’s a real shame not to be able to hear some of the great scores.

- Similarly some of the audio loops are a little short. Italy and Spain being a good example of the same few tracks being repeated.

- Food service efficiency is often quite poor. This results in some pretty horrendous queues at certain outlets. Even on quieter day Taverna Mykonos seems to often be overwhelmed.

- Resort food price variety is not great. If you want to eat at a restaurant you’re likely going to drop €30pp minimum, with the exception of Pizzeria Romantica, unless you head to the Camp Resort. One or two more quick service options wouldn’t go amiss if you don’t fancy a full sit down meal or eating in a bar after a long park day.

- Hotel pillows. Yes I’m really nit picking now, but they really aren’t great.
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Re pillows... enjoy yourself by googling 'terrible German pillows'.



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Despite having the firm view that this thread should be locked and @Danny banned for having the audacity to create it, I shall remove my Roland tinted glasses and contribute:
  • The building that houses play area in Portugal, although less offended by this than I once was, it really needs work
  • On days where the park is very full, paths in some of the older areas of the park (France and Italy) do struggle to cope with crowds
  • A coffee from the Bakery in France is no longer €0.50 cheaper than all other outlets, which is a tragic shame
Danny said:
- Blue Fire train audio. Riding Blue Fire at night with the soundtrack blaring in your ears is euphoric. Yet, I've not had this experience since 2017. The speakers are right there on the trains, and onboard audio is present on other rides. What gives with Blue Fire?

- Rulantica slide queues. Perhaps the most jarring part of the Rulantica experience is the void spaces in the queue lines. I know a bit of work has been done to rectify this since opening, but this was perhaps the biggest chute back to reality when surrounded by brand new theming and a story-driven narrative.
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I do also agree with these two points. I find that the audio on Blue Fire does make a big difference to the ride experience, but it is more often a miss than a hit these days. Of the 3 trains running during my last visit, 2 of them no longer has speakers on them.
 
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Talling about the scent in the Diamond Mine, I'm sure back during my first visit in 2010 it was really strong, but it's never quite been as good since. On 2 occasions now I've taken friends in to show off how cool it is in there, but both times their was barley any scent at all. Still an interesting place to visit but the scent really makes it!
 
Tim said:
Talling about the scent in the Diamond Mine, I'm sure back during my first visit in 2010 it was really strong, but it's never quite been as good since. On 2 occasions now I've taken friends in to show off how cool it is in there, but both times their was barley any scent at all. Still an interesting place to visit but the scent really makes it!
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There was definitely a scent in there on my recent visit, for what it’s worth; I didn’t actually walk through it, but I could definitely smell a distinct scent as I was riding through there on Alpenexpress!
 
The gaping lack of thrill flats. I know EP is a family resort but maybe 1 or 2? Felt that was the biggest obvious gap.

Schweizer BoredBarnes. It was vibrating and actually slightly unpleasant in October. If it and Matterhorn Blitz got removed I'd only be upset about Dawn leaving.

F&B was struggling big style, huge queues if you didn't rock up before they opened for lunch. we had FoodLoop one day and then skipped an evening meal as the queues were that bad we just muddled on to Traumatica (where the huge queues for food reappeared)
 
The queue line for Fjord Rafting is deeply unpleasant to stand in when the wait is long.
 
AstroDan said:
Fjord Rafting is great!

Thankfully food outlets are almost all open again now.

FoodLoop is always crazy busy. Don't bother.

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What’s the latest on the best places Dan, any signs of reopening? Magellan Lounge, upstairs O’Mackays, Crocodile Bar etc
 
River Quest Phantasialand
Parc Asterix rapids
Congo river rapids on a good day.

These are better than Fjord Rafting.

I mean it's better than Rumba Rapids but then that's not difficult.
 
I really liked Fjord Rafting myself; I haven’t done that many rapids rides, granted, but I’d say I preferred it to any UK water ride, and I’d say it was my favourite water ride outside of the state of Florida, in all honesty!
 
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