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Hotels General Discussion
- Thread starter AstroDan
- Start date
Poisson
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- The Giant Squid
Wait, WHAT?!
QTXAdsy
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Black Hole
BarryZola
TS Member
Butter with that, Sir?
VerticalLoop123
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Nemesis
Whilst staying at the hotel last weekend, I saw on the bottom of on of the paintings in our explorer room the verse of a poem.
Sir Algernon’s Grand Tour A short google found it was from this selection of poems from a play. I’m guessing this was likely commissioned by Tussauds?
Does anyone have any other info on this?
It made me very nostalgic for the original days of the hotel, the deep thought, quality and storytelling that went into the original design. It’s such a shame to see some of that missing from the product now.
Sir Algernon’s Grand Tour A short google found it was from this selection of poems from a play. I’m guessing this was likely commissioned by Tussauds?
Does anyone have any other info on this?
It made me very nostalgic for the original days of the hotel, the deep thought, quality and storytelling that went into the original design. It’s such a shame to see some of that missing from the product now.
Matt.GC
TS Member
Welcome to our hotel and park
And before the days of Aramark
We offered our guests the most magical escape
But these days we're in such a terrible shape
Our hotel was an instant hit
Now it's just a pile of s#@t
If you haven't been in a while, this may be a blow
But yes, standards really have sunk this low
Our hotels were cool, but never too posh
But now thoosies get excited over "free" orange squash!
Cuz In the days when the Nemesis water ran red
And before we sold nights in a wooden shed
You could walk through the Towers without an upcharge tour
And we didn't used to shut the park at 4
Our ride lineup didn't used to be stale
And you could actually ride the monorail
We've since removed rides that we didn't replace
Go to where they were and find an empty space
We're still not too far away from Stoke
But our rides are closed because they're always broke
Thinking of new themes is now a breeze
We just theme them to sinister organisations or haunted trees
At the desk we asked for small retainers
Now our "theming" is just shipping containers
You may feel that the resort is on its ass
But what do you expect for your cheap annual pass?
And before the days of Aramark
We offered our guests the most magical escape
But these days we're in such a terrible shape
Our hotel was an instant hit
Now it's just a pile of s#@t
If you haven't been in a while, this may be a blow
But yes, standards really have sunk this low
Our hotels were cool, but never too posh
But now thoosies get excited over "free" orange squash!
Cuz In the days when the Nemesis water ran red
And before we sold nights in a wooden shed
You could walk through the Towers without an upcharge tour
And we didn't used to shut the park at 4
Our ride lineup didn't used to be stale
And you could actually ride the monorail
We've since removed rides that we didn't replace
Go to where they were and find an empty space
We're still not too far away from Stoke
But our rides are closed because they're always broke
Thinking of new themes is now a breeze
We just theme them to sinister organisations or haunted trees
At the desk we asked for small retainers
Now our "theming" is just shipping containers
You may feel that the resort is on its ass
But what do you expect for your cheap annual pass?
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Rob
TS Team
- Favourite Ride
- Steel Vengeance
Ahhh, the hotels. Where to start.
Let's do a positive first shall we. Breakfast at the Crooked Spoon does seem to have improved somewhat, it's certainly not as bad as the real lows several years ago and I'd say it's better than it was at the start of the season. The sausages are still very poor but the rest of the cooked items are fine to be honest. The fresh watermelon is lovely! I don't mind that they've got rid of the coffee machines and replaced them with urns, as the coffee from those machines was often vile.
The lodges I've stayed in for the past couple of weekends have also been fine. Pretty clean overall, functional, can't really complain.
As usual, things start to fall apart when we move over to the bars (I did not try any of the restaurants on these visits after a bang average experience at the start of the season). Here's a list of some of the problems I came across:
Let's do a positive first shall we. Breakfast at the Crooked Spoon does seem to have improved somewhat, it's certainly not as bad as the real lows several years ago and I'd say it's better than it was at the start of the season. The sausages are still very poor but the rest of the cooked items are fine to be honest. The fresh watermelon is lovely! I don't mind that they've got rid of the coffee machines and replaced them with urns, as the coffee from those machines was often vile.
The lodges I've stayed in for the past couple of weekends have also been fine. Pretty clean overall, functional, can't really complain.
As usual, things start to fall apart when we move over to the bars (I did not try any of the restaurants on these visits after a bang average experience at the start of the season). Here's a list of some of the problems I came across:
- Last weekend I attempted to order 2 Spatens from Margs, the server started looking for sparkling water
- Dragon Bar has always closed early at around 11pm, but it does seems Margs suffers from a similar fate. On Friday night just gone, the background music got turned off at 10.30pm and some of the shutters on the bar started coming down. This had the natural effect of getting people to get up and leave to go back to their rooms. I did get one more drink from the bar, someone else asked what time they closed at was told 11.15pm. Wow! GET. TO. BED.
- On the above point, I spoke to a bar manager and hotel supervisor about this. They both agreed with the points I was making but these decision are, obviously, coming from those more senior who of course are nowhere to be seen
- Last Saturday night we tried to order a pizza from Margs at 11.01pm. We could not, as the person who does them had already left (despite pizzas being brought out at the time were there). We left the bar, ordered pizzas from The Deep Pan Man at Blythe Bridge and had our own drinks in the lodge
- Speaking of the pizzas, I did have one this Friday just gone and although the one I had was pretty decent they have got smaller and thinner (you can be sure the price hasn't gone down)
- Dragon Bar absolutely stunk on Friday evening, no idea why but it was a horrible stench of vom crossed with dirty feet. Disgusting!
James
TS Founding Member
If music volume is a problem, turn the volume down. 
It’s so bizarre how they run the hotels. Sure, they mostly consist of families. But, keeping one bar open till late is hardly breaking the bank. There's so much potential to make the resort side of things more of an experience, with a late night bar, room service, food till late. Yet, its ran like a 90s Travelodge at 3x the price.
It’s so bizarre how they run the hotels. Sure, they mostly consist of families. But, keeping one bar open till late is hardly breaking the bank. There's so much potential to make the resort side of things more of an experience, with a late night bar, room service, food till late. Yet, its ran like a 90s Travelodge at 3x the price.
Matt.GC
TS Member
Running a bar until late is likely not at all profitable. I've been in there until 2am before (even though they pretended to open all night they've always kicked me off to bed around 1:30 - 2 am). I've often been the last one there, with someone waiting around until for me to finish up. They'll be getting paid minimum wage plus night premium per hour just to serve me £10-£15 worth of drinks.
But that's the problem. There's no focus on experience, it's just simple money in verses money out. If they cared about experience, they'd do what other hotels I've stayed in do. The last bar person goes home around midnight and cleans up behind them, the receptionist or security guard who's on duty anyway through the night pops over to pull the odd pint.
11pm is early for pubs these days, let alone a £400 per night hotel at a theme park. But what do we expect from a resort that closes the main park at 4, and the waterpark an hour or so after that? The decline continues.
But that's the problem. There's no focus on experience, it's just simple money in verses money out. If they cared about experience, they'd do what other hotels I've stayed in do. The last bar person goes home around midnight and cleans up behind them, the receptionist or security guard who's on duty anyway through the night pops over to pull the odd pint.
11pm is early for pubs these days, let alone a £400 per night hotel at a theme park. But what do we expect from a resort that closes the main park at 4, and the waterpark an hour or so after that? The decline continues.
If music volume is a problem, turn the volume down.
It’s so bizarre how they run the hotels. Sure, they mostly consist of families. But, keeping one bar open till late is hardly breaking the bank. There's so much potential to make the resort side of things more of an experience, with a late night bar, room service, food till late. Yet, its ran like a 90s Travelodge at 3x the price.
I’m convinced the place needs a “dome” on the air car park that has a show venue, bar, couple of restaurants, shop, bowling and multi sports venue. Finally cover the mini golf too.
Center parcs show how it can be done well, and Alton is equally isolated and has as many rooms. It would put to bed the idea of doing something similar at moneystone in Oakamoor. They could even set up running/cycling tracks around the resort.
Maybe do it along with new accommodation. You have around 700 rooms on site with nothing for the captive audience to do or spend their money on!
flyingguitar
TS Member
I did the hotel and water park a while ago for a friends b'day here are my opinions:
The theming and buildings are honestly really good throughout the hotel (didn't see the village or pods) even with elements in the room, like the old oil lamp for a light, the theme was a really nice theme (I think it was an exploration theme in Victorian times) and the theming elements really help (like the balloon, ship thing) with some good details and the overall building, was really nice with that large stair case and space at the bottom only real problem is the lack of AC in the rooms but fortunately it wasn't hot this summer (I honestly think it is better than Disney's recent hotel projects, just look at their contemporary Incredibles rooms it was literally just vinyl stickers.
The food was alright, I didn't notice anything bad but nothing amazing
similar with service, everyone seemed nice, and frendly.
fully agree, we were there when the bar close and there was probably 1 or 2 groups with us, at like 12 we were the only one left.
I could see this working really well, probably not a dome, more of a multi story hub to reduce the space a bit, but all the activities can attract people and it could be helped by days at the water park.
but I am not sure how many people would use it as none of the amenities are at the dome, all the restaurants are at the hotels and the park is at splash, there wouldn't be much of a reason to go there, this would be compounded by the distance as people could stay in the lobby or their rooms, to just relax, especially after most would have had like 7-9 hours at a theme park.
I like the idea, but I think to solve the problems perhaps they could replace the splash hotel (probably expand the pool at the same time) with this hub, contained would be the restaurants for the hotels, and large bar/cafe area with a stage and screen for entertainment and potentially an arcade, bowling, enterance for the pool, shops all of it well themed. perhaps they could also move the rollercoaster restaurant into this hub as well. then the old restaurants could be converted to rooms or something else? (breakfast only restaurant maybe).
The theming and buildings are honestly really good throughout the hotel (didn't see the village or pods) even with elements in the room, like the old oil lamp for a light, the theme was a really nice theme (I think it was an exploration theme in Victorian times) and the theming elements really help (like the balloon, ship thing) with some good details and the overall building, was really nice with that large stair case and space at the bottom only real problem is the lack of AC in the rooms but fortunately it wasn't hot this summer (I honestly think it is better than Disney's recent hotel projects, just look at their contemporary Incredibles rooms it was literally just vinyl stickers.
The food was alright, I didn't notice anything bad but nothing amazing
similar with service, everyone seemed nice, and frendly.
fully agree, we were there when the bar close and there was probably 1 or 2 groups with us, at like 12 we were the only one left.
I have done center parcs and I am 50/50 on this,
I could see this working really well, probably not a dome, more of a multi story hub to reduce the space a bit, but all the activities can attract people and it could be helped by days at the water park.
but I am not sure how many people would use it as none of the amenities are at the dome, all the restaurants are at the hotels and the park is at splash, there wouldn't be much of a reason to go there, this would be compounded by the distance as people could stay in the lobby or their rooms, to just relax, especially after most would have had like 7-9 hours at a theme park.
I like the idea, but I think to solve the problems perhaps they could replace the splash hotel (probably expand the pool at the same time) with this hub, contained would be the restaurants for the hotels, and large bar/cafe area with a stage and screen for entertainment and potentially an arcade, bowling, enterance for the pool, shops all of it well themed. perhaps they could also move the rollercoaster restaurant into this hub as well. then the old restaurants could be converted to rooms or something else? (breakfast only restaurant maybe).
I feel the enchanted tipi area could have been this but it wasn’t finished off to a great standard and just lacked any atmosphere inside and out.
The magical piano was great and that’s where it ended unfortunately, I’m not sure it was even properly advertised to hotel guests or much signage to discover the area, but you could say the same about the tree top climb thing?
I mean an enchanted designated walk through the forest with a few bits of magical theming and lighting would spread the crowds and give them a little more to do in the evenings with maybe a hot chocolate van near by themed up, but I feel the priority needs to be the mini golf it’s not exciting and it’s desperately needs cover in this country.
I will give them credit tho there is obviously the entertainment, waterpark, but addition to this the roller coaster restaurant and Sealife but I’m not sure what times these stay open for?
They closed the spa, Tipi and climbing so there not going to expand hotel offering anytime anytime soon they need staff but can’t afford them?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
The magical piano was great and that’s where it ended unfortunately, I’m not sure it was even properly advertised to hotel guests or much signage to discover the area, but you could say the same about the tree top climb thing?
I mean an enchanted designated walk through the forest with a few bits of magical theming and lighting would spread the crowds and give them a little more to do in the evenings with maybe a hot chocolate van near by themed up, but I feel the priority needs to be the mini golf it’s not exciting and it’s desperately needs cover in this country.
I will give them credit tho there is obviously the entertainment, waterpark, but addition to this the roller coaster restaurant and Sealife but I’m not sure what times these stay open for?
They closed the spa, Tipi and climbing so there not going to expand hotel offering anytime anytime soon they need staff but can’t afford them?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Poisson
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- The Giant Squid
I think they need to either do out the Spa or Conference area as a entertainment hub. Build a new confertainment suite in the Spa if they rip out the existing which I would do. Between hotels, drag all the kids in there and make the hotels in general nicer places to be and make it so you can hear yourself think if you need reception at either of them.
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