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Insecurity

Ben.

TS Member
Well what can I say, the title says it all. My main insecurity is my confidence and and looks. Anyone else got any?
 
Ben. said:
Well what can I say, the title says it all. My main insecurity is my confidence and and looks. Anyone else got any?

Without meaning to sound creepy or lecherous at all, you're a really handsome guy. You have no need to worry about your looks. :)

And you were confident enough to come on a TST meet with a big load of strangers! That must count for something!
 
Insecurity! *Shakes fist* A bane of my existence due to my mind not knowing when to stop rambling on about little insignificant things that have been dispelled by others. The worst offender is definitely physical appearance where I feel too pudgy or not as pretty as other women or just wearing ill fitting outfits that make me unattractive or have an extremely annoying voice, etc. Granted it isn't terrible and doesn't freeze my attempts to leave home but it's just a public confidence niggle.
 
One of my insecurities is confidence and whether people want to be associated with me. I get very anxious when meeting new people, as I worry that they will think im not worth getting to know. This then turns into anxiety that my friends don't actually consider me a friend.

Its mostly irrational. But that's what insecurities are
 
The fact I look like the troll in the dungeon from Harry Potter makes me slightly insecure :(
 
All people have insecurities in life. The best way to overcome them is to try and excel at something that gives you confidence and respect within a particular group of people - even if it's a social niche.

I always recommend sport and/or physical exercise to anyone feeling insecure, depressed or lacking confidence. A realistic level of competition and/or fitness targets will boost self esteem guaranteed. Even if you aren't really a sporty person, a treadmill or rowing machine with a digital readout so you can work towards distance/calorie/speed/time targets would be easy to access. Give it a try.
 
I get insecure about my friendships being genuine. I push people away to make it easier if they decide not to be friends with me, so sort of in the same vein as you Satch! *hug*

In a weird way, I hide my insecurities by being the ridiculous, unwieldy, obnoxious one in a lot of social situations. I take charge of helping others to hide it too. At least it's constructive!
 
Each time I send someone a text, pm, tweet or whatever, I always feel like I'm bothering people. ???
 
I feel insecure about describing insecurities.
Seriously though, I must have one... But I've only just woken up (about half an hour ago) give me some time.
 
I'm just generally insecure...

In some cases I would not ask out any girl, because I seriously think they could do sooo much better! :p

I've found that finding out other people's insecurities helps because you find out you're not alone... I suppose... In a way.... ish..

A lot of finding.. hooray!


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Every one has insecurities, some of my have resurfaced recently with whats been going on in my life. I wont actually go in to what they are because I dont want to tell you lot :p Mine are slowly starting to go again which is good because it really did seem to take up 100% of my thoughts.

Its annoying that it seems to be a part of everyday life having insecurities.

But Fredward (and anyone else that has the problem of asking women out), just ask! Dont worry about them saying no, just ask. I regret not asking a few women out. I regret that more than I regret asking out the women I did and getting turned down.

I think one thing you will find on here is that women are just as insecure as men about the looks and how attractive they feel.

I find my wife one of the most attractive women I have even seen (I have to say this it says so in the contract :p ) But she still is insecure about how she looks and things like that. Sadly its just natural to feel bad about yourself.

Look at the post from Rowe ^^ Now I think (not trying to be creepy here Rowe :) ) that she is a very attractive woman, I dont see the issues that she has and I think its a bit odd she feels like that. But everyone seems to feel like that at some point of the lives.

So dont worry about asking a girl out, if she is a normal girl she will be flattered just to be asked! Its always good when someone pays attention to you.
 
Insecurities. I think I have too many. ???

First of all, I'm ridiculously shy. After getting to know someone for a while I may be fine with them.
I am very self conscious of myself. I dislike my weight, face, voice and to an extent, age.
I don't like venting out about issues either. Although it really helps, I'm scared my anger will just push people away.
I don't like starting conversations either as it feels like I'm bothering someone (like BigAl!), but also I feel if people have to initiate the conversation frequently then it'll seem I'm not interested in talking to them.
And I hate how much I've written 'I' because I don't like to seem a self-centred person (though I fear pointing it out will give people the impression :().
I have many more, but these are my biggest insecurities.

----

Jem pretty much covered everything to say there. TST is easily the friendliest online community to encounter. You're accepted for everything about you on here! Everyone can get shy at some point but there are plenty of people here to help you overcome that.:)
 
I'm insecure about a couple of things.

For Instance one of the things I'm very insecure about are my looks. For Example, I'm very pale and Feel that I can never get my skin to be darker no matter how much I try. Second is that I have bad teeth which makes me feel is something most people would judge me on (Although most people I've met aren't bother about it). Third is my weight, But I wasn't bothered about it until my Dad started moaning about it (which is EVERY time I see him, No joke). But I would like to put on a bit more weight mind you.

Another thing I'm insecure about is my Social Life, It seems that everytime I meet new people they don't want to be friends with me, So I have to wait until they approach me (It's worked, but it takes WAY to long in some cases). And I hardly talk to people because when I start a conversation I feel like they're gonna say something like "**** off and leave me alone!" (Which has actually happened to me in the past)
 
Its really nice seeing people share the same insecurities as me, to be honest I posted this last night because I was feeling really low,http://www.towersstreet.com/talk/corner-coffee/the-i-feel-down-topic/120/
I had one of those reflect sessions and did the stupidest ting ever and create a con list about my self. See that’s my main problem, I look for criticisms so much in my self that it never goes to the public vote, so what I show is what I think people want to see, which is essentially a robotic replacement of my self, I don’t like to talk around new people even though I am a naturally talkative person, I don’t stand up straight even though I am 6ft 1. I even go so far as to never ware short sleeve anything’s in public or ware shorts due to being incredibly self conscious about how thin I am. When it comes to meeting new people I am ether ridiculously quiet or I babble about any random crap, and thus putting people of. That on top of having many resent encounters involving my ex's mates (for example getting your nose broken for looking at somebody) have left me not only unconfident around new people but scared given the right situation. O, and thanks Sam. :)
 
Insecurities, eh? This is opening an endless can of worms!

I think like most people here, I seem to have issues with confidence and physically.
I get very shy in public, I won't talk to people or I'll duck or shy away from people. Part of it is I'm constantly feeling that people are judging me, and worrying about what they think which means I'l just try and blend in and not speak out of tone or wear anything that sticks out.

Physically, like most people I don't like my body. I'll avoid mirrors because if I see my reflection, frankly it just upsets me. I don't like my skin, my nose or that I have a thin upper body but then I look like a bowling pin as my hips seem so out of proportion.
My teeth more than anything, I dislike. After an operation I've lost my canines so I'm missing those two teeth and I can't have false ones implanted, this means I never really smile or show my teeth as to me they just look disgusting.

/rant over
 
I think everyone has the same insecurities, but some are better at handling them than others. I'm much more secure than I was a few years ago. I used to worry loads about people liking me, but after being screwed over by those I considered my closest friends, I decided not to waste my time anymore. People will either like me or not, and theres nothing I can do about that.

Its interesting to note that even the most confident people have the same insecurities as the rest of us - maybe even more so. Last year I met and befriended a person who I respect immensely, but I was taken aback by just how insecure they were. They had their reasons, of course, but they always acted so confident that it was a big surprise to me. It made me think that even though I worry (hell, I'm still worried about whether to go on the meet or not in case nobody likes me), so does everyone else.
 
Going on a meet is one of the best things you can do, and I'm speaking from personal experience. Since my first meet in November 2011, I've come a long way, and I can't thank the community enough for that. :)

With regard to my insecurities, one thing I hated throughout school was speaking in class. I got very nervous, and I just didn't like it very much, although doing presentations at uni and Spanish speaking exams at college have helped that somewhat. One thing that puts me off speaking in class is when people decide to talk over me, which I find quite rude, frankly. In Science in Year 11 (I think, or it could've been Year 10 - I can't remember which), I was doing a presentation to the rest of our class with some others, and the other students were talking over me, so I kinda flipped a bit and told them to show some respect, seeing as they didn't talk over other people's presentations. And my teacher told me afterwards that she was fine with what I did, which made me smile, even if she wasn't a terribly nice person (for example, locking students from a whole tutor group out of the room because their tutor constantly let them out late, and she refused to listen to my protestations - but that's another story). Being involved in several musical productions over the years has also helped considerably.

Still doesn't help the fact that I'm quite quiet on meets, although I'm really hoping that that changes soon. :)
 
I think it is easier to say what I am secure about. I look like a weirdo with a beard and a bit of a belly, but that just me and i don't mind.

I have strong paranoia, so insecure about most things. the main ones are, doing things and getting them wrong. getting something wrong and sounding like an idiot. When i meet people looking for where they could have a hidden weapon. People plotting against me. people using me for they own ends, oh the list goes on and on.
 
I'm generally a pretty confident guy, but I hate my smile with a passion, I had a bike accident about 8 years ago. I went over the handlebars and landed on my mouth, my lower lip was hanging off, I lost 6 teeth and broke my jaw in 4 places with my chin bone on show..

After reconstructive surgery on my face it left masses of scar tissue in my lower lip which made my lip protrude outwards for around 2 years and left my teeth less straight... It's not so bad these days but when it's cold my entire chin goes bright red n whenever I laugh my hand instinctively covers my mouth and all my Facebook photos are just really fake smiles :/.
 
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