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New bench

I’ve heard from someone in the know who I trust to be a very close source the full plans for the new bench.

I’d love to be able to divulge the information but that would just be telling, and I’ve been sworn to secrecy.

What I can say however is that you better all be sat down when the news breaks.
 
I think I am right in saying (after viewing the plans myself) there are 3 extra join welds on the brackets that connect the slats to the frame. It would be fascinating to know what the reasoning behind these extra joins are for.

I am not happy because I think these extra joins will ruin the overall aesthetic of the new bench. It would be fair to say I am enraged by this decision, they have paid no consideration to the legacy of the old bench with these new joins.

I think they should have kept the brackets exactly how they were, they have ruined it with these new joins.
 
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John Wardley is involved with the bench, and not only does that confirm that he now has 100% complete control over it as if he was single handedly building it with his own bare hands, but it also confirms it's going to be good without the need for anyone to have a personal opinion about its development. No need to experience the bench to find out either as it's not even scientifically possible for mere mortals to have differing personal tastes to the gods.

Sure, you may have questioned why it's now being rethemed to a pair of Y fronts beforehand, but just 1 name drop and magically any reservations you had should really disappear. Suddenly you realise you do like Y fronts after all, you were just being silly and should fall into line in no time.
 
I heard that after 4 years of faithful service, it is finally getting a overhaul. They're are apparently going to paint it to look rusty, a massive risk in my eyes.
 
Hazza said:
I heard that after 4 years of faithful service, it is finally getting a overhaul. They're are apparently going to paint it to look rusty, a massive risk in my eyes.
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You sure it's being painted and not just being allowed to rust
 
Matt.GC said:
John Wardley is involved with the bench, and not only does that confirm that he now has 100% complete control over it as if he was single handedly building it with his own bare hands, but it also confirms it's going to be good without the need for anyone to have a personal opinion about its development. No need to experience the bench to find out either as it's not even scientifically possible for mere mortals to have differing personal tastes to the gods.

Sure, you may have questioned why it's now being rethemed to a pair of Y fronts beforehand, but just 1 name drop and magically any reservations you had should really disappear. Suddenly you realise you do like Y fronts after all, you were just being silly and should fall into line in no time.
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How dare you even question the possibility that this is not being built single handily and by the bare hands of the lord himself.

Just like the huge amounts of proof that prove the earth is flat, you cannot question or even attempt to try and disprove that this new bench will be anything but 125% excellent, due to the aforementioned lord messiah being involved. Anything else is simply impossible. This is not up for discussion, this is absolute.
 
MattyH said:
I've heard the bench might feature 4D effects next season
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It'll be sponsored by Bench too.

The Bench, Sponsored by Bench.

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