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Surreal news articles

NuttySquirrel said:
Oh for god's sake. Some people must have had their sense of humour surgically removed.

To suggest that something's 'offensive to children' is pretty ridiculous as well. Parents might find rude words offensive, children just think they're funny.
Click to expand...

Dungeons are always coming up with **** PR stunts to keep their once-and-done attractions visible. This is almost definitely completely made up by some marketing 'genius' at Merlin to play into the endless thirst for stories about how you can't say anything these days, etc.

As for the Cedar Point ferris wheel incident, I'm afraid I've witnessed even more pronounced behaviour on the Skyride at Alton!
 
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I saw that earlier on Metro and was planning to share it 😂

metro.co.uk

Chess world rocked by rumours of anal beads and artificial intelligence

Fans speculated that anal beads could transmit messages.
metro.co.uk metro.co.uk

Last week, world chess champion Magnus Carlsen, withdrew from a major tournament with a $350,000 prize money after his unexpected defeat by underdog Hans Niemann

Norway’s Carlsen announced his withdrawal in a cryptic tweet with a video implying that Niemann had cheated. The tweet was accompanied by a video of Portuguese soccer manager, José Mourinho, saying, ‘I prefer really not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble.’

...

Chess enthusiasts online have since gone on to speculate that Niemann may have been cheating with computer assistance and anal beads.

'Currently obsessed with the notion that Hans Niemann has been cheating at the Sinquefield Cup chess tournament using wireless anal beads that vibrate him the correct moves,’ tweeted one user.
 
Thameslink Rail said:
BBC News - Rollercoaster rides trigger emergency calls from new iPhones
www.bbc.co.uk

Rollercoaster rides trigger emergency calls from new iPhones

Users say the rides triggered the phones' crash detection system, US media reports.
www.bbc.co.uk
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If Apple weren't so consumed with doing what they always do - selling overpriced style over substance; surely the obvious solution is for the phone to know where you are using It's location and automatically switch this function off when you're in a park?

I mean, I can't walk into a theme park without the park's app begging me to buy stuff and Google urging me to leave a review. Your phone knows you're there and has done for years. It sounds like this tech could be a life saver, but it'll only take a few false alarms for emergency services in may counties to simply just ignore these calls. Anyone who's worked somewhere with panic buttons will be aware of the "2 strikes" rule.
 
From BBC Sport Football: Warrington goalkeeper sent off after confronting fan who urinated in his bottle

“A non-league goalkeeper says he was sent off for reacting to a fan who urinated in his water bottle during an FA Trophy tie.

Warrington Town keeper Tony Thompson, 28, says he squirted the away fan after drinking from the bottle.”


https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/63691613
 
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