The Delayed Deutschland Debacle 2024

[Jonathan]

What’s going on here? Balsdon’s doing a trip report? Isn’t that one of the harbingers of the apocalypse?

Jokes aside, I thought it was about time I did a trip report, as it’s been quite a while. I think this might be my first trip report since my first visit to EP way back in the summer of 2012! It was my first trip to EP since October 2017, and some attempts since then were aborted thanks to the pandemic and other holiday plans (which also ended up falling through). This trip saw myself, @Leigh, and @Poisson head over to Germany to ride some questionable coasters (and a Sunkid Butterfly or two), get on board some old planes, and see a frustrating search for some Bum Bum. We had a @MattyH join us the day before we flew out (flipping work screwing him over), and @Mike turned up at some point as well. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. I’ll review the new creds/rides I did at each place, as well as some additional comments where needed. Photos are all mine unless otherwise stated. Leigh and Poisson will be sharing their thoughts on each day as and when posted, including the silly things they did on the Tuesday.

Day 0 – Thursday 28th March (The travel down)
Not much to say about this, other than the journey down from Congleton to Southend was a bit perwigglous. The weather wasn’t great, for starters, and Google Maps decided to send me up via Leek and Ashbourne (and then cutting down to the A50 along the A515) instead of my expected route going along the A50 from Stoke. Still, it meant I avoided Stoke at rush hour, so that was a bonus. To be honest, any journey that avoids going anywhere near Stoke is a bonus in my book. After leaving my car in Lutterworth at my uncle’s place, where I was then picked up by Poisson, we made our way down towards Southend, with some weather that genuinely felt apocalyptic at points. Some fine Essex cuisine Maccies was consumed on the outskirts of Chelmsford before we arrived and promptly corpsed in our hovel Premier Inn.

Day 1 – Friday 29th March (Silly things in Essex)
Waking up the following morning, we were greeted by a delightful view of one of Southend’s most charming car parks. I mean, it could be worse.


How delightful. | Photo credit: Poisson

After checking out and wandering along the seafront awaiting the arrival of Holland and Leigh, the four of us ventured forth into Southend in search of a fine dining establishment for breakfast like the classy people we are. Oh, wait, we went to Wetherspoons. It was…fine, I guess, as Spoons go. Food consumed, we sallied forth for our first stop of the day – Adventure Island.

Adventure Island
I’d never been to Adventure Island before, and wasn’t hugely sure what to expect, but was pleasantly surprised to see that the place was relatively quiet, which did us a bit of a favour. Not a huge amount to say about the place, really.

Rage
I mean, it’s a Eurofighter. Acceptable. Bit janky in places, but I’ve been on far worse rides in the past.


I've been on worse.

Barnstormer
A custom Zierer Tivoli. Somewhat forgettable, really.
Green Scream
Another Zierer Tivoli. Not too bad, as these coasters go.
Kiddi Koasta
A Zamperla special. Feels like a slightly extended Wacky Worm, and nothing to really write home about.
Mighty Mini Mega
The first Pinfari of the trip. As Pinfaris go, it’s possibly one of the better ones I’ve ridden, but that’s really not saying much.

Total ride count for Adventure Island (+5 creds):

• Rage x1
• Barnstormer x1
• Mighty Mini Mega x1
• Sea Dragon x1
• Kiddi Koasta x1
• Sk8boarda x1
• Whip x1
• Adventureville x1
• Smiles per Galleon x1
• Green Scream x1
• Spooksville x1

Following Adventure Island, we then headed on to Clacton. Our route there took way longer than planned due to the main roads being clogged, involving us taking some admittedly quite scenic back roads, but we reconvened at a Wendy’s near Colchester for lunch. My first visit to a Wendy’s, and I was rather impressed – one of the best fast-food burgers I’d had for quite some time. Then came Clacton.

Clacton Pier
So, Clacton…Oh dear. The town just feels rather run-down in general (I’ve been told that nearby Jaywick is worse, presumably making Clacton itself feel like Alderley Edge or something), and the pier isn’t much of an improvement. The wood on the pier itself is rather uneven in places, the toilets down the far end are grim (seriously, the urinals look ancient), and…Well, I just don’t like it.

Looping Star
This looks to be the first looping Pinfari I’ve done (we’ll ignore Indiana Jones at DLP, as while that was a Pinfari design, it was actually built by Intamin), and…Ouch. This was painful. One of the worst coasters I’ve done. It actually caused me a bit of pain on my right hip for a few days afterwards. Not fun.


PAIN. | Photo credit: Poisson

Wild Mouse Coaster
It’s a DPV Rides Wacky Worm. Nothing more to say, really.

Total ride count for Clacton Pier (+2 creds):

• Looping Star x1
• Wild Mouse Coaster x1

Next up came a short walk along the sea front to Clacton Pavilion.

Clacton Pavilion
This is tiny, and like the other places we visited, it was completely dead. Just the one cred here, despite what RCDB said at the time (though this was subsequently corrected by Poisson). The mini-golf course is fun, and the pirate ship is decent, though we weren’t exactly expecting the restraints to be released by a screwdriver. I’m not even joking. The ride op genuinely got a screwdriver out of the cabin to release the restraints.

Shark Coaster
An SBF Visa Wacky Worm that requires the op to push the train out of the station isn’t good. What’s also not good is the drop out of the station itself, which just feels really violent.

Total ride count for Clacton Pavilion (+1 cred):

• Shark Coaster x2
• Crazy Golf x1
• Pirate Ship x1

We then went over to Felixstowe to the fair that was on the sea front, but…No creds, and nothing worth riding. Following dinner in a nearby Greene King pub (which was perfectly fine), Holland went back up to Lowestoft, and the three of us made our way to Stansted for a few hours’ kip at the Premier Inn before even more shenanigans.

 

[Leigh]

Worst part about that SBF Visa Shark Coaster was that it cost us £14 each to get the cred. Never felt so conned.

 

[Jonathan]

Worst part about that SBF Visa Shark Coaster was that it cost us £14 each to get the cred. Never felt so conned.

I completely forgot that part

 

[Poisson]

I mean we did get access to that wonderful SBF pirate ship that definitely wasn't broken

 

[Jonathan]

I mean we did get access to that wonderful SBF pirate ship that definitely wasn't broken

I mean, it was a half-decent pirate ship. I just didn't expect the ride op to need a screwdriver to open the restraints!

 

[rob666]

I mean, it was a half-decent pirate shit. I just didn't expect the ride op to need a screwdriver to open the restraints!

A half decent pirate shit?
Diogo style then???

 

[Jonathan]

Day 2 – Saturday 30th March (Trains, planes, automobiles…and tanks?)
Following an alarm call for 2:30am (when I woke at 2am – not great), the final packing was done before getting on the bus to the terminal. Checking-in hold baggage was relatively painless, and then came the one thing I was dreading. Airport security. I was apprehensive of Stansted, given it’s owned by Manchester Airports Group (my former employer), but I didn’t need to worry. Even had an ace around my neck in the form of my sunflower lanyard, but I didn’t really need to use it. Useful to have on hand just in case, though! We got through in about ten minutes, which was great, and then made a pretty quick beeline for Wetherspoons for that age-old 4am airport tradition – cheap breakfast and a pint.


Kopparberg and a bacon sandwich - not a bad breakfast IMO.

Our gate was eventually called, which was mercifully not a huge walk away, though it was still a faff to get there. Boarded the 737-800 operated by PovertyAir, and took off pretty much on time to Frankfurt am Shed.


Our chariot awaits to take us to some creds.

We would’ve arrived a bit more ahead of schedule if it weren’t for an issue on the runway meaning we had to enter a holding pattern for a short while. Landing was very smooth indeed – a stark contrast to when Poisson and I flew into Eindhoven in 2015! Got through border control (after walking through fencing that seemed to resemble that of a prison), picked up suitcases (very easy – they also ended up coming out right next to each other, which definitely helped!), and then went to sort the hire car out. We’d been given a Peugeot 5008, and…Oh dear. I didn’t drive it, but I was reliably informed that the 1.2L 3-cylinder engine was weak, and the gearbox was somewhat clunky. Still, it at least got us from A to B, and we did manage to max it out at 191km/h. We weren’t going to EP first of all, though. Oh no. Instead, we were going to do something very different indeed – visit Technik Museum Sinsheim.

Technik Museum Sinsheim
I want to address the credit first before going into detail about what else is at Sinsheim.

Butterfly
The concept of the Butterfly is simple. Car gets winched up a hill, goes back down the hill and up the other side, eventually coming to a stop. It’s a cred in my book, and is surprisingly good fun, while also being borderline self-operable.


Yes, it's a cred. No, I will not be taking any further questions on this. | Photo credit: Poisson

Total ride count for Technik Museum Sinsheim (+1 cred):

• Butterfly x1

Now onto the main reason for us being there. Sinsheim is a museum with a huge collection of military hardware, some trains, plenty of road vehicles (including old F1 cars and an exhibition on the history of the 24 Hours of Le Mans), but its main thing is planes. A number of them are mounted to the roof, including an old Air France Concorde and an old Aeroflot Tupolev Tu-144, both of which can be boarded for viewing. It remains the only place in the world where both aircraft are on display together.


Utter filth.

They’ve also got some racing cars there, including a Tyrrell P34 and Michael Schumacher’s first F1 car.


F1 history right here.

To say we underestimated just how much was there is very true indeed – we could’ve easily spent the whole day at the place! If you’re stopping here for lunch, then I can recommend the schnitzel, which is very good, and the regionally-produced wine I had was also lovely. After a great few hours, the time then came to drive to EP. We played the ever-traditional game of Spot Silvia (which Poisson won – you git), we pulled into the hotel car park behind Hotel Santa Isabel, and I genuinely got a bit teary. After a very long six-and-a-half years, I was finally home.

Back in heaven.

Check-in at Hotel Castillo Alcazar was quite simple, and after dumping our luggage in our room, we made our way onto the park. Not much to say, really, other than it was a good few hours getting a handful of rides in, which included dragging Leigh onto BENCH, because reasons. It was admittedly tempting to make that his first-ever ride at the park, purely because it would’ve been funny, but no – they insisted on making it Euro-Mir. Way to spoil my fun, guys.

Total ride count for EP on 30th March:

• Euro-Mir x1
• BENCH x1
• Schweizer Bobbahn x1
• Silvia x1
• Baaa-Express x1
• Dancing Dingie x1

Then it came to the evening meal at Silver Lake Saloon, which is always a winner. I’m at the point now where I don’t even need to look at the menu here too much – it’s the default of the Ranger’s Best and a Lynchburg Lemonade for me every time.


Such a damn good meal.

Superb as always, and I might’ve ended up a little bit tipsy thanks to @Craig's influence… One part of the entertainment was slightly questionable, but other than that, it was such a good way to kick off our time at EP. And yes, for those of you who are interested, they did play ‘Country Roads’ at one point. Final monorail of the day was caught back to the hotels, and bed called before Sunday - our first full day on park.

 

[Poisson]

I won Spot Sylvia whilst driving. You may worship the ground I walk on at your leisure Jonboy.

You also forgot the most important cred of the day:

 

[Jonathan]

Day 3 – Sunday 31st March (“This is painful – pass me the cocktail menu”)
Breakfast at Castillo Alcazar was as good as anywhere else on resort – plenty of choice, with sausages that actually tasted as a sausage should and not of bland mush which supposedly resembled pork, and some rather nice cheese. Cheese for breakfast is always a brie-lliant idea. Only a few refreshed rides to mention here, starting with a visit to my favourite thing on park, because reasons.


Had to be done.

Piraten in Batavia
This was the first time I’d been to EP since the tragic fire in 2018, and…Wow, Batavia feels like such an improvement. The queueline’s been rerouted from the original, and the extra theming is really nice. The ride itself is much the same as before, but the changes to the scenery make it feel much better overall. Really quite pleasant.

Welcome back, Piraten.

Snorri Touren
It’s just a random filler ride, but it’s quite nice, and Snorri is somewhat adorable. I definitely didn’t get a Snorri plushie the following day as a result of this ride…

Poor @Kelpie...

Madame Freudenrich’s Curiosités
A strange concept – an old woman knitting scarves and baking for some dinosaurs – but it’s delightfully charming.

This is...different.

EuroSat CanCan Coaster
The new theming is great, but I do miss the sight of the constantly-moving queue at path level, and I’m a little sad that the escalators in & out of the station are no longer there. The ride itself is still fine, but I’m a little disappointed at the amount of 2D theming inside the giant golf ball.

For lunch, I visited the tarte flambée stand in the French area with Poisson and Leigh, and went for the basic tarte with a nice glass of Riesling. Took me back to a night in Strasbourg with @Mike and @Pedro back in 2019 where we all ate far too much tarte flambée…

Absolute heaven.

Total ride count for EP on 31st March:

• Kolumbusjolle x1
• Piraten in Batavia x1
• Snorri Touren x1
• Fjord-Rafting x1
• Atlantica SuperSplash x1
• Silver Star x1
• Madame Freudenrich’s Curiosités x2
• Pegasus x1
• Voletarium x1
• EuroSat CanCan Coaster x1
• Abenteuer Atlantis x1
• Fluch der Kassandra x1
• Schlittenfahrt Schneeflöckchen x1
• Dancing Dingie x1
• Euro-Mir x1
• Blue Fire x1
• Whale Adventures x1
• Wodan x1

Dinner ended up taking place in Spirit of St Louis, which is probably my favourite bar on resort. I had the Spaghetti Bolognese (yes, I can be basic in my food choices sometimes – don’t judge) and a regular Long Island Iced Tea, both of which were very good. The first sip was a very quick reminder that EP’s cocktails are VERY strong!


A good start.

Dessert came in the form of a Long Island Iced Tea American Style and the crème brûlée, both of which were heavenly.


Porn in a bowl

Then came the entertainment, which consisted of a quite bad singer who didn’t stop for at least 90 minutes. It was really bad, and I wasn’t the only person who ordered yet another drink (this time, it was a Zombie) to try and make it feel slightly less bad.

Never before has a cocktail been more medically-needed.

It didn’t, so we just decided to bail and head to bed after paying.

 

[Poisson]

I spent far too much on alcohol to try and make it less painful.

 

[Jonathan]

I spent far too much on alcohol to try and make it less painful.

It almost made the entertainment in ATH and Splash look good by comparison.

 

[Jonathan]

Whoops - the next instalment is a day late.

Day 4 – Monday 1st April (“Is she following us?”)
Not a huge amount of new stuff here, other than Blue Fire on ERT was a great way to wake up, and we popped in to see a very dear old friend – Dawn Swiss.

THE LEGEND.

In terms of refreshed rides, there was only one – Jim Knopf – and it was perfectly fine. Definitely didn’t ring the bell for most of the way around because I have the mental age of a two-year-old… For lunch, we waited in the damp for FoodLoop, and it was worth it as per usual. Main course was the spaghetti carbonara and some local Riesling, and both of them were good.

So damn good.

Then for dessert was some delightful apple cake and some rather nice local rosé, so it’s safe to say I came out of FoodLoop a little bit tipsy, given that the wine came in third-size bottles. No regrets whatsoever, though!

Cake at EP is always a winner, and the ResortPass comparison photo is pretty much mandatory by now.

It was a really nice day hoovering up the smaller rides, and five of us – myself, Poisson, Leigh, @Vik, and @pritchardavid – spent a chunk of it together. Drinks were had on the boat in the French area, and we eventually wound up in Portugal with cocktails from the van near ASS. Knowing Mike was due to arrive on resort that afternoon (his arrival being delayed by a chest infection deciding that it wanted to make him its home for a few days), I checked my phone, but had no hint as to where he was. Literally seconds later, who on earth should wander by…? Yup – he’d popped on park for the last hour or so! While he buggered off to do Arthur’s SRQ, we headed for Blue Fire and Wodan to finish the day off with everyone else. Somehow, Mike managed to get SRQs for Arthur, Blue Fire, and Wodan all in under an hour. Not bad going!

Total ride count for EP on 1st April:

• Blue Fire x3
• Arthur x1
• Poseidon x1
• Matterhorn Blitz x1
• Euro Tower x1
• Oldtimer Fahrt x1
• Marionetten-Bootsfahrt x1
• Jim Knopf x1
• Elfenfahrt x1
• Volo Da Vinci x1
• Piccolo Mondo x1
• Arena of Football x1
• Feria Swing x1
• Wodan x3
• Euro-Mir x1
• Silver Star x1

Dinner was at Pizzeria La Romantica in Colosseo, and to say getting in was chaotic is nothing short of an understatement – having a children’s play area right next door to the restaurant entrance made it incredibly noisy (it was basically because of this that I finally got myself some Loop earplugs when I returned to the UK, and they make SUCH a difference!), and we were grateful to eventually get a table after about 40 minutes of waiting. My pizza salsiccia was lovely, but I wasn’t able to eat much more than half of it, which rather frustrated me!

I like the bit where pizza.

After paying, we headed up to Bar Buena Vista, where we were lucky enough to secure the little room off to the side known as ‘Roland’s Love Nest’. After one or two drinks, the entertainment kicked in, and…Unfortunately, it was the same woman as we’d had the previous night in Spirit of St Louis, but because we were further away, it was slightly more bearable. Still bad enough for several of us to end up ordering a third drink, though, before heading off to bed.

 

[Jonathan]

One thing I completely forgot to mention for the Monday was how it was Easter Monday, and Lindt chocolate on park was cheap – at least 50% off the Easter stuff. So, naturally, we raided the shops, with @Craig buying a frankly ridiculous amount. Most of mine didn’t last too long once I got back to the UK, as it had kinda got a bit warm in the car, but oh well. It still tasted good, and it was so worth it.

Day 4 – Tuesday 2nd April (Swim-up bars are so much fun)
After yet another lovely EP breakfast, Poisson and Leigh decided to go and do silly things elsewhere in Germany on this day while Mike and I went to Rulantica with everyone else. I was quite looking forward to Rulantica.


Wait, this doesn't look like Cariba Creek...

I won’t make too much comment on the slides, other than they’re great fun, with the racing slide being a particular highlight…though I kept on drifting into the next lane in the splashdown zone, which was rather awkward! Also, it’s the first time I’ve ever done a water park drop slide, and I don’t think I’ll be doing one again any time soon. It just wasn’t hugely pleasant. The crazy river outside is brilliant, if not slightly chaotic! In terms of food, the chilli fries I had for lunch were decent, though a bit more spice wouldn’t have hurt. As for evening meal? Well, the portion of penne carbonara I had was huge, and excellent value at not much more than €10! The outside swim-up bar was great fun, and the VIBES session in the evening was particularly good when Astro somehow managed to persuade the DJ to switch to 80s and 90s classics. Purchasing the Hyggedal upgrade was great – went up a few times to relax, get some drinks, and have a bit of a chat. It’s a really chilled space up there. What wasn’t so good was the service. Having one person serve both the Hyggedal bar and the Panoraama Bar on the other side doesn’t work. I popped in just to get the €2 pfand back for some cups, and was waiting for a good ten minutes before anyone came around. I honestly had half a mind to abandon the cups and forego my €4 – was very unimpressed. That was probably the only real disappointment on an otherwise good day. On a slightly more personal note, I’ll freely admit I was quite self-conscious about spending the entire day without a top on and wearing just my swimming shorts, particularly as I’m a bit overweight, but also because of my tattoos. However, I honestly didn’t need to worry about a thing – I was one of so many people in Rulantica wandering around with just a pair of swimming shorts on. Didn't bother with a slide count here, as it would've been hard to keep track of everything. After finishing in Rulantica, we headed over to Krønasår and Bar-Erikson for a drink.



So beautiful.

As is always the case with EP, this hotel was stunning, and the bar was great – my Apple Whisky Crushed cocktail was very good. A load of the old ride models from the park can now be found in Krønasår, which is a really nice touch.


Finally, the time has come.

The end of the day was here, and we headed back to the hotel, where we found the mascots looking like…this…Somebody clearly had quite a bit of fun arranging them all like this, and I think we all know who the most likely culprit out of Poisson and Leigh is.

The boys were rather traumatised. Other than Snorri, who obviously enjoyed it.

 

[Leigh]

Day 4a: Silly people doing silly things

I will be narrating this section due to @Jonathan doing sensible things

Owing to neither me nor @Poisson not being all that fussed about water parks, we mutually decided to skip out on Rulantica that day and instead go on an expedition to do some other nearby attractions, ranging from big mountain coasters to some quality Mack Produkt to MORE self-op Sunkid Butterfly’s (sorry, spoilers ). I’ll leave pictures to my esteemed colleague (if he has any) as I’m not a big photo taker.

First bit of our trip was the Hasenhorn. For those who haven’t been, it’s a gigantic Wiegand mountain coaster running 2.9km down. For me, it was my first ever mountain coaster (I had done Dawson Duel at Bellewaerde, but it’s not a “true” mountain coaster due to the electronic brakes). Luckily I was with an experienced veteran so after the very long, scenic and FREEZING COLD chairlift to the top right away at opening, it was a case of belting up and getting underway. Top top if you go: if it’s raining, and windy, and cold, prepare for PAIN. I came off it after a no brakes run with a blue face and hands that felt like they were going to fall off. All good fun though.

Steinwasen up next. This is a very… odd… park. Again, for those unaware, it’s comprised of an indoor section with various attractions and an outdoor section with the mountain coaster, toboggan run and the saddest looking ABC Rides rapids I’ve ever seen in my life. If you go here, prepare for some walking as well - there’s some very odd pathing between the entrance and some of the attractions (indoor and out). The mountain coaster here was pretty decent - a more conventional affair with a lift hill to the top. Perfectly fine, although I feel I might’ve appreciated more if I did it instead of the Hassenhorn first

Gletscherblitz. A top quality powered Mack Produkt running through the building. Very solid layout for a powered coaster, plus it offers some actual airtime coming out of the station on the second lap as well so I was very happy! Has an odd VR experience in the front couple of rows but didn’t bother with that.

Spacerunner is a Wiegand Bobkart (powered toboggan) that intertwines with Gletscherblitz in the building in a very fun way. It was my first one of these as well, and I can say they’re pretty rapid on full tilt! Not a coaster but a good experience, and far superior to the one experienced later on in the trip (spoilers!)

The toboggan run was the longest one of those I’ve done, and also pretty precarious going down that big hill on a little tea tray like that.

The sad rapids was skipped although some pointing and laughing did occur.

Before making our exit however, I will comment on the quality of the currytomatowurst we purchased from the café on site. Price wise, it was absolutely fine. Quality wise however, it was the worst excuse for a portion of currywurst I’ve ever had - the sausages were mediocre, but the sauce was horrible! Didn’t have even the slightest hint of “curry” in the thing, it was just tomato paste. Top tip: bring your own food to Steinwasen or buy pre-packaged.

Next on the list was Gutach to tick off the mountain coaster there - neither me nor Poisson had done this before, but as it was only an hour and a bit away from Steinwasen and in the general direction of EP we decided it was a good option. Gutach is a small town located in a valley, with some very interesting stuff including a model railway museum, a museum on the Black Forest and some very pretty scenery! The mountain coaster here was, oddly enough, actually owned and operated by Wiegand themselves (at least according to the ticket I received), which was quite novel. The coaster was also very good, with a solid layout - no Hassenhorn but far better than the one at Steinwasen.

Finally on our trip was the most sensible place of all: Funny-World. This is a park made up entirely of self-operated rides just a couple of minutes from EP. There is nothing operated by staff at all; you get on, click a button and away you go. Not a huge amount of time was spent here, but 2 Sunkid Butterfly’s were up for grabs including 1 Butterfly II XL model - a real treat. Also, some fun was experienced on multiple self-op train rides and the vintage cars. Very sensible indeed.

Finished off with a couple hours at EP and food/drink/more drink/even more drink, as is the way.

 

[Poisson]

Our view from the top of the Hasenhorn



Gletscherblitz at Steinwasen



Toboggan at Steinwasen



Sommerrodelbahn Gutach



Adlerflug at Funny-World



One of the self-ops at Funny-World


From: https://youtu.be/jdZ-MRRx9m4

 

[Leigh]

From: https://youtu.be/jdZ-MRRx9m4

CHOO CHOO

 

[Llama]

These are fighting words

Snorri Touren
It’s just a random filler ride

Just joking, just joking, I have to remember not everyone here is as big of a Snorri fan as I am. Lovely report, thank you for sharing

 

[Poisson]

These are fighting words


Just joking, just joking, I have to remember not everyone here is as big of a Snorri fan as I am. Lovely report, thank you for sharing

Snorri is love, Snorri is life.

 

[Jonathan]

Missed posting last week on account of being away in London for work and then with Mike in Birmingham over the weekend.

Day 5 – Wednesday 3rd April (“EuroMir again? Yeah, why not?”)
Following breakfast, Mike was heading off elsewhere in Europe, but I wasn’t gonna let him say goodbye without a quick photo. Ended up sending it to my sister-in-law on account of it being her birthday that morning, and she appreciated it, so it was definitely worth it.


I don't care if this annoys Poisson.

Our final day at EP basically consisted of rerides, with a quick go on Vindjammer. Just a basic pirate ship, really, but these are usually good fun.


A trip up Euro-Tower is always a delight.

Lunch was at Fjörd-Restaurant, with the meatballs once again being very good. I’d forgotten how cheesy the mashed potato is! Cake had to happen, of course, and it was delicious.


I LIKE CAKE!

The wine wasn’t too bad, either. Following some time spent watching Voltron testing, I think we ended up doing Mir a total of four times, before finishing the day on Wodan.


SPITED.

Wodan was running so fast – I’d forgotten just how quick it was in the time since I last visited EP. A wonderful end to our time in the park.

Total ride count for EP on 3rd April:

• Wodan x3
• Blue Fire x2
• Vindjammer x1
• Euro-Mir x4
• Elfenfahrt x1
• Marionetten-Bootsfahrt x1
• Euro-Tower x1
• Silver Star x2
• Madame Freudenreich’s Curiosités x1
• Pegasus x1
• Fluch der Kassandra x1

Dinner was at Restaurant Castillo, and all you need to know about this place is one word. MEAT. There was all sorts being taken around on skewers to be carved onto your plates, with the lamb and the beef being absolutely divine. Also quite a number of additional dishes to sample, with the BBQ beans being a highlight. I had way too much meat, but I think we all did. Oh, and not to mention a half-litre of wine for me, which was wonderful. Following this, we retired to the Bar of Last Resort Commedia dell’Arte in Colosseo, where I had one final Long Island Iced Tea. EP-strength cocktails are always so, so good.


I can't say no to an EP-strength Long Island Iced Tea. So, so good.

 

[Jonathan]

Missed it again last week, and it's a double post (whip me) - was busy in the bowels of London having a tour of Aldwych station. Anyway...

Day 6 – Thursday 4th April (“RES! RES! RES!”)
The final breakfast at EP beckoned, before getting in the car and heading into the German countryside for a visit to Schwaben-Park.

Schwaben-Park
What’s to say about Schwaben-Park? Well, they have chimpanzees. It’s in the middle of nowhere. Oh, and they also have THIS bit of nonsense from Ride Engineers Switzerland.


WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?!

Wilde-Hilde
RES! RES! RES! That’s about all I have to say. It’s an…interesting concept, which is a bit bonkers, but actually half-decent fun. Unlike the Intamin ZacSpin, which is the closest equivalent I can think of. To borrow a phrase from Poisson, the lift hill is slower than a sloth on ket. It’s just complete and utter nonsense. On our third go, we somehow managed to stall it, and needed pushing back in to the station!

Hummel-Brummel
Some suspended powered Wiegand thing. Actually not too bad, but the throughput is pretty woeful.

Force One
ZIERER NOISES! This delightful little Zierer ESC535 is a lot of fun, and is a great coaster for a small place like Schwaben-Park.

ZIERER NOISES! | Photo Credit: Poisson

Raupen-Express
This is a Zierer Force Zero, and it’s already got one up on the ubiquitous Wacky Worm/Big Apple/whatever they’re called this week. Not really a huge amount to say about this.

There’s a collection of other stuff here, including a self-op tractor ride (yes, really), a Wiegand BobKart that had a splashdown for some reason and was a bit shite, and a boat ride in a shed with fountains that we dubbed ‘Mandy and Roland’s Boat Ride’. Yes, really.


Farmer Tom at the ready!


What. The hell. Is this.

In terms of food…Erm…The school canteen main restaurant felt a bit noisy & chaotic inside, but the schnitzel I had was still half-decent. We also found ice-cream for sale, and we were very tempted when we saw what one of them was called – BumBum. No, really. Sadly, they didn’t have any there, which rather disappointed Leigh.


No BumBum | Photo Credit: Poisson

Total ride count for Schwaben-Park on 4th April:

• Wilde Hilde x3
• Hummel Brummel x2
• Force One x4
• Raupen Express x1
• Bob Kart x1
• Märchenfahrt x1
• Azura x1
• Santa Lore x1
• Schwaben Express x1
• Traktorbahn x1

On leaving, we made our way to Heilbronn, but en route, we encountered some VERY perwiggle thunderstorms. I’m just glad I wasn’t driving. It was borderline monsoon weather! Once we managed to work out where on earth the car park was and checked in, we went for a bit of tram-bashing, because why not? It was basically an excuse to get to a Maccies and have some food, and largely because Leigh was desperate for a McRib. Leigh got to eat his McRib. Leigh was happy/ We had some lovely scenic views there, too…of one of Heilbronn’s industrial estates.

Delightful. | Photo Credit: Poisson

Oh, and we did go hunting for Mezzo Mix in Heilbronn, because reasons, purchasing some in Woolworths. Yes, the name Woolworths still exists in Germany.