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TST Loo Users... POO-NITE!

I have moral dilemma this morning.

I need a dump, but I'm not due at work for another hour, and I don't get paid for taking one at home.... :/
 
I've literally just taken a 6-flusher...I don't even think wiping my **** with a husky puppy would ease the ring sting from this beast!

Brb off to A&E to get my anus stitched up.
 
while away i droped the ultimate bomb. i have never done anything so long before and it had so much troble going round the U bend. i had to use the bog brush to chop it into 4 pieces. the end could not bee seen while the other end was out the pool
 
Just done something that has the same dimensions as a small planet. Need many stitches.
 
I'm currently on the throne at Hotel Portaventura. And very nice it is too! :D
 
This reminds me heavily of the Gong Father scene in the new Dungeons... TOILET HUMOUR!
 
Too much cheese on the pasta bake last night. Not good. 8 parts water to 2 parts **** it seemed :(
 
Blocked up the shitter this morning. Tried to chuck a bucket of near boiling water down the bog to shift the logs, handle fell off the bucket. Rough day.
 
So *THAT'S* why you shouldn't have takeaway more than two days in a row...
 
So there I was, happily falling asleep in front of the telly, not five minutes ago, when I was awoken by what I assumed was an earthquake. But this was no shifting of tectonic plates. The deep rumble that shook my sofa came not from the bowels of the Earth, but from bowels much closer. I could actually see my gut tremble with it's force.

Rudely awoken, I made haste to the porcelain thrown, where you now find me, doubled over in pain, while what feels like concentrated napalm is blasted from my behind at pressures so high that I fear the bowl may crack.
 
I always wait until I am in work to use the loo, and definately wait until I am not on a break. That way I can sit on the loo for half an hour , playing on my phone, while taking a dump in the pleasure of knowing that I am getting paid for it.

I believe there are apps you can use to calculate how long you spend in the loo and it will even tell you how much salary you earnt for doing so. Happy days!
 
Of all the elements that make up a hangover, having the two bob bits has to be the worst. :(
 
When you've done:
4x Nemesis
1x thirteen
1x Rita
1x spinball
And sea life by 10.35am there nothing better than a celebratory poo
 
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