I think this is a great debate for the most part - it's just a little ridiculous to hysterically suggest that men can't have their say on the issue, as it's womens' issue. When a woman gets pregnant, GENERALLY it also implicates the father, who likely will feel some emotional attachment to the growing life inside the woman. When a woman haves an abortion against the wishes of the father, that can be devastating. BigT, I do applaud you for being able to support your partner in that situation..
Having said that, while I feel the father needs to be taken into account (if, indeed, he is still around - which in a lot of cases with abortion, he's not - or isn't likely to stick around the next tough few years), it ultimately has to be the decision of the woman. It is her body, the idea of me being in a situation where I want an abortion, but my partner doesn't, actually making me feel obliged to undergo many months of discomfort, changing body, resulting in ultimately being responsible for a little person I undoubtedly will love, but who will be tethered to me for many years and all the demands that come with it - just doesn't seem right to me.
Possibly if life hadn't demonstrated how
relatively easy men find it to leave their child in the primary care of the mother and become a part-time - or even absent - father (I say relatively, because obviously it's never going to be an easy decision to make). Women mostly become mothers by default, it's a sad way of society these days, that men seem to exercise a lot more choice over their fatherly involvement. A child is for life with most mothers (as it would be for me) - but there are far more instances of single mothers than there are of single fathers. Therefore, I would have the final say over whether or not I had an abortion. It'd be all very well for a man to convince me to keep a child, only for him to scarper a few years down the line.
Might be a pessimistic viewpoint, but unfortunately it's commonplace.
I'd say abortion is a very private matter, and I am firmly pro-choice. I've fortunately never been in the position where I've had to make that choice, but I will say I've been in situations in my life where I knew a termination would be something I would strongly consider - and yes, sometimes for financial reasons! If I can barely take care of myself, how can I expect to take care of a tiny dependant? Now, at 26, it seems the list of reasons that 'justify' exercising that choice become smaller and smaller, and if I decided at any point to have a termination from now - I would most likely tell very, very few people about it.
I do believe until a foetus is a viable human being, it's not murder. I would support a slight lowering of the 24 week limit, if it de-blurred that line a little more!
It's important to me to be a great mother when the time comes. I would never want to begrudgingly have a baby because I felt forced to, coerced or judged. It's a MAJOR life decision and would change my life irreversibly. Not to bring personal issues into this too much, but as a child, I grew up feeling like I was regretted, that I was a stain on my mother's life, her life had been stunted and many opportunities missed because I needed looking after. I would never want to pass any feeling like that down to my own children, and if I brought a child into the world I wasn't sure I wanted, who knows how I'd be feeling when the child is a not-so-cute 5 year old throwing tantrums in supermarket aisles.
I don't feel bringing a life into the world is a decision taken as seriously as it should be by a lot of mothers. Therefore, while I think contraception is the responsibility of both sexual partners, a savvy woman would know that it will be
HER life that changes irrevocably if she falls pregnant. Men can behave more irresponsibily because they won't be forced to step up to the mark if they don't want to - women don't have that luxury, so a wise woman will never leave the responsibility to fall onto an irresponsible man. It's self-preservation!
It's sad, but unfortunately the way of the world. A couple of months ago, I had a debate with a pro-lifer protesting outside an abortion clinic I walk past most days. My main issue with him was his tactics. Here was a man, standing outside a clinic, intimidating vulnerable women about to make the hardest decision of their life. Unfortunately for him, until he walks a few miles with a uterus of his own, he should not be trying to take the moral high ground in such a way.
