Autism the thread

Discussion in 'Corner Coffee' started by imanautie, 18th Jun 2020.

  1. Alolan Diglett

    Alolan Diglett TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Sheffield
    Oh no offence taken. You be you. Personally I don’t tell many people. Mainly those close to me and people I like - since sometime being exposed to me for some long you begin to notice one or two tics. It’s easier to explain it away rather than ignore it.

    What I do notice is that I can tell when I meet people that they are (likely) autistic/Asperger’s. Don’t know if other can? I was at a large meet at a theme park (not Towers) and there was guy there who I thought could be “on the spectrum” as they say. I spoke to a friend and went to talk to him. He confided in me that he had Asperger’s and I said I kinda guessed and it was great that he felt able to speak to me about it. Actually I’ve lost touch with him in the years since which is a shame
     
    skyscraper likes this.
  2. imanautie

    imanautie TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    2,785
    There's a thing seemingly common in autistics that I nickname autidar, the ability to notice autistics.
    I think it's just recognising ourselfs in someone else.
     
  3. Jonathan

    Jonathan TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    4,325
    Likes Received:
    2,755
    Location:
    Congleton
    Favourite Ride:
    Helix <3
    If that's such a thing, then my 'autidar' is rubbish. :p
     
    skyscraper likes this.
  4. Alolan Diglett

    Alolan Diglett TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Sheffield
    Sorry guys. Just a little rant here.
    I am fed up of professionals using “autism” or even learning disabilities as an excuse for not helping patients properly. In my job (no person identifiable formation will be shared) a service user of mine had what I would call a psychotic episode. They attacked members of staff with sharp implements. Chased them to a safe room. Stabbed the door and window of this room and then harmed themselves.
    Obviously they went to hospital. Where mental health staff said it was clear that they were experiencing “challenging behaviour due to autism and associated learning disabilities”.
    No additional medications, treatments or therapies have been offered to this person. It is sad that they appear to be of the mind that this is how some people with autism and/or LD behave and that it is accepted that this just may be the case for the person rather than exploring their diagnosis. Autistic people can have a mental health breakdown not related to their condition you know!?

    In my mind (as a social worker) it is clear that this is not normal behaviour. Certainly uncharacteristic of this person. Yet it was felt autism and over stimulation was a cause of this behaviour and not some underlying mental health issue.
    I am not advocating that people need sectioning, far from it, but extreme behaviours cannot be dismissed and need investigation.

    Of course this appears a little extreme but does anyone else find their mental health concerns are dismissed as their diagnosis.
    I’m sure (or at least hopeful) that no one here has had a breakdown to quite this extent. But do you find prejudged in incidents of mental health breakdown due to your diagnosis?

    Personally as a person who in the past found him self on a bridge ready and prepared to jump, I know if I didn’t have the specialist mental health support at that time I probably wouldn’t be here or at least in the reasonably well and healthy situation I find myself in now.
     
    imanautie and skyscraper like this.
  5. imanautie

    imanautie TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    2,785
    Rher s a saying thst behaviour is communication, there's some underlying issue behind it, or a need that wasn't met.
     
  6. Alolan Diglett

    Alolan Diglett TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Sheffield
    Has anyone watched the Netflix show “Love on the Spectrum”?

    It’s on my watch list so hope to complete it shortly. Seems really well done and again very sympathetic/empathic towards its stars. It seem s they have Australian accent so not sure if it’s British (as I’ve not researched) but in it I may have spied my Australian counterpart (if what I was seeing was correct) in a young woman who appears to go on date in a Batman costume - of course as I watch this may not be exactly what happens but if it is I may have identified my soulmate!

    As you may have noticed I love any show that explores dating and love for those on the spectrum or even with disbilities. I just see them as so healthy and heartwarming.
     
    skyscraper likes this.
  7. imanautie

    imanautie TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    2,785
    Viewpoint in a few autistic led groups about that show is fairly negative it seems.
     
    skyscraper likes this.
  8. Alolan Diglett

    Alolan Diglett TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Sheffield
    Shame. Oh well I’ll watch and make my own decision. Won’t go recommending it to my service users just yet.

    On the subject of dating does anyone feel confident enough to share any stories about dating or their relationship status? Good or bad experiences accepted.
    Does your significant other “get” you if you have one?
    Any “norms” who may read this have you dated anyone on the spectrum? Would you be put off dating someone on the spectrum?

    Genuinely seeing many of my young people crave human contact and affection, Dating and relationships are something that I find particularly interesting.
     
  9. Jonathan

    Jonathan TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    4,325
    Likes Received:
    2,755
    Location:
    Congleton
    Favourite Ride:
    Helix <3
    My dating experience has been very limited for fairly obvious reasons. Even before I realised I was gay, it wasn't at all easy, and any relationships with girls were never all that serious or didn't last very long. Should've taken more notice of that, really. Hindsight's a wonderful thing, isn't it? :p I'm quite lucky in that my boyfriend, who I've been in a relationship with since the end of November 2017, is also on the autism spectrum. In that respect, it's a bit easier for us to 'get' each other, as we have a greater understanding of how our respective minds work.Communicating can be tricky sometimes, but it's something that's always improving as time goes on. Probably the most challenging aspect of our relationship is that neither of us is out to our parents, so trying to come up with explanations as to why we're going away is very tricky, especially given I've been brought up to always tell the truth. Lying doesn't come to me very easily at all, and I really struggle to come up with quick responses if I'm asked probing questions I wasn't expecting, which can be VERY problematic and causes me a LOT of stress.

    My boyfriend knows how best to communicate with me, and always tries to clarify anything I'm confused about. Though it doesn't stop him from occasionally getting me unnecessarily worried about things, for which I usually try to fine him the next round of drinks. Seems fair to me! :p
     
    Alolan Diglett and imanautie like this.
  10. Alolan Diglett

    Alolan Diglett TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Sheffield
    I suppose as I asked the question and people did a considered reply then I thought I’d volunteer my experiences.

    I’ve had what I would consider four long term relationships (2 year plus) and have been with my current partner for four years. We live together and are engaged. Wedding was supposed to be July this year - thank you Corona!
    My partner gets me. She struggles at times because I take things so literally and struggle with certain concepts. Only this morning I sought clarification about a song on the radio. Apparently it’s a Taylor Swift song called 22. But I needed to know if she was feeling twenty two or twenty too. Her mum finds my brain fascinating and not in a condescending way.

    Ive had my ups and downs. Like most I struggle with body language so couldn’t tell when people were interested. When I was a lot younger my best friend at school was a girl called Joanne. I moved away so changed school. However 10 years or more later we attended the same sixth form. Met up and she told me how much she fancied me back then!

    I’ve been taken advantage of by partners. Again not being able to read people all of the time made me very trusting. I lost a couple of thousand pounds in the whole debacle.

    Also is the whole unrequited love. I did become a little obsessed (not quite stalker lol) but misunderstood others affections also. Thankfully it resulted in just a little embarrassment and no change in our friendship.

    A previous partner actually of four years ended up in Court with me. We broke up but it appeared she didn’t take it well. She pursued quite a violent and antagonistic course of action in order to win me back. Imagine how hard it is to listen to someone threaten to kill themselves unless I took them back and then go on to spread malicious and defamatory materials about me - Court words not mine!

    Despite what I would consider a bad dating history I do now feel very confident. I’m happy with myself. IVE evolved from a bumbling idiot who had no clue about women to a bumbling idiot who knows how to behave around women.

    Although I hate being outside I do go to dinner for instance. PDA’s they’re ok by me. I’ve put to bed all the insecure “am I doing it right” thought processes.

    My one problem with relationships? They get in the way of me playing video games. This I know is the selfish side of my personality/autism coming out. As I’ve said. I struggle with empathy (in the none sociopath way) and cannot understand why people would want to spend time together rather than playing games. Again I realise this and my partner understands, although she isn’t a gamer. I’m still a work in progress I guess!
     
    imanautie and skyscraper like this.
  11. imanautie

    imanautie TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    2,785
  12. delta79

    delta79 TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    5,643
    Likes Received:
    4,773
    Location:
    Shropshire
    Favourite Ride:
    Nemesis, Air
    Wow. How can ethics allow that medical procedure.

    Sent from my SM-J600FN using Tapatalk
     
    imanautie and skyscraper like this.
  13. imanautie

    imanautie TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    2,785
    Considering one of the most popular "therapies" for autism is considered to be literal torture by many Autistics it's not surprising.
    Edit: there's a general trend of not considering Autistics to be human in a fair few fields...
     
    skyscraper likes this.
  14. rob666

    rob666 TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    3,945
    Likes Received:
    6,503
    Location:
    Lancashire
    ...and then there are the idiot yanks who still insist you can cure autism by drinking bleach.
    And made considerable money out of books promoting the idea.
     
    imanautie likes this.
  15. Jonathan

    Jonathan TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    4,325
    Likes Received:
    2,755
    Location:
    Congleton
    Favourite Ride:
    Helix <3
    I'm sure some treatments say to take it rectally as well, but there's no way I want anyone trying that on me. EVER. There's a reason why actual doctors don't recommend it as a treatment, yet it's recommended by charlatan 'doctors'. All the latter group is interested in is profiting from people who want a quick fix, yet said fix never truly comes.
     
    rob666 and imanautie like this.
  16. imanautie

    imanautie TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    2,785
    Yep, plus being autistic isn't that bad, why fix what's not broke!
     
    skyscraper and Jonathan like this.
  17. delta79

    delta79 TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    5,643
    Likes Received:
    4,773
    Location:
    Shropshire
    Favourite Ride:
    Nemesis, Air
    Cause some people believe that you are not exactly like them then you need fixing, euthanized or treated like a sub species.


    Sent from my SM-J600FN using Tapatalk
     
    imanautie likes this.
  18. Alolan Diglett

    Alolan Diglett TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Sheffield
    Having just had a birthday I’m intrigued to see other thoughts on some things.
    I don’t I’ll be alone in saying birthdays are awkward.
    Being the centre of attention, the unknown presents, the pressure to (hopefully) like those presents that you’ve been bought. Not quite knowing how to express myself and the gratitude i feel.
    Couple that with my families liking of reading every card and present label out loud to the group.

    Whilst obviously I love my family am grateful to everyone who takes time to wish me well. I find it terribly intimidating. I was reading the cards to be encouraged to “speak up” “make eye contact” or “I can’t believe you read like that”. I was very slow I. Reading because I was speaking as I read not pre-reading.

    Is this a general feeling that everyone experience? Is it an autism thing? Or is it just me being me?
     
    skyscraper likes this.
  19. imanautie

    imanautie TowersStreet Member

    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    2,785
    Ah cards encouraging Autistic masking what could go wrong /s
     

Share This Page