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Autism the thread

Squiggs said:
And as with most neurodivergence, everyone is individual and gets their own personalised selection of which traits they end up with, so no two people experience either quite the same.
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This is so, so true! I've always thought it might make sense to have a more general 'Neurodivergence' thread because I don't think there are many people at all that neatly fit the definition of just one neurodivergent condition. Perhaps controversially, I wonder if the powers that be that originally set out the definitions of autism, ADHD, dyspraxia, dyslexia, dyscalculia, sensory processing disorder etc. might have got it wrong trying to categorise a complex set of traits into distinctly different 'conditions', especially bearing in mind that most of those people were neurotypical as well.

I think the whole diagnosis process is seriously outdated actually. The idea that you might not test someone for dyspraxia because you've decided they have autism instead is madness to me. I definitely have traits of several neurodivergent conditions including ADHD, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia (if distinct from dyspraxia, which is debatable), sensory processing disorder and autism (rigid thinking, difficulty with change, highly focused interests). But I've only got ADHD on my diagnosis letter and to be honest I simply can't be bothered to explore what it might take to get all the others added as well.
 
NuttySquirrel said:
dysgraphia (if distinct from dyspraxia, which is debatable)
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I'd argue it is. My fine motor skills are alright. I couldn't for example paint a Warhammer figure as I'm not that artistic, but I can disassemble tiny parts at work completely fine. Yet some days I have to write things out on one of the workshop whiteboards 3 or more times before it is legible. Also whiteboards are easier to write on than paper for me.
 
Poisson said:
I'd argue it is. My fine motor skills are alright. I couldn't for example paint a Warhammer figure as I'm not that artistic, but I can disassemble tiny parts at work completely fine. Yet some days I have to write things out on one of the workshop whiteboards 3 or more times before it is legible. Also whiteboards are easier to write on than paper for me.
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I actually have a whiteboard on my desk, and it can be quite useful for work sometimes. Also tend to do my meal planning for the week on it.
 
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I've read back through the last few pages of this thread and it's been really interesting.

One or two of you may know me. I was active in this community many years ago, and then I completely screwed it up. I made a mistake in comitting to a trip and then my working tax credits were cut without notice and I had to drop out of the trip. Unfortunately, I didn't handle this well at all, and I panicked and said things I shouldn't have said. I'm genuinely sorry for this and have said so since.

I've always felt that there was something "wrong" with me (this was how I felt as a young child, before I knew about neurodivergence) but had no idea what. I've had issues with friendships throughout my life, and often became extremely upset as a result of these issues. These issues have followed me throughout my life, from primary school, to now. I've also had lots of issues in education, never fulfilling my potential. I'm 41 and a mum of two boys who are both ND. My eldest is 10 and was diagnosed with autism age 6, this would have been sooner but it was delayed by covid. My youngest is six and he's on the pathway for assessment for autism and ADHD. I'm not sure about autism but he's 100% ADHD.

This year, I've been diagnosed with autism (in March) and ADHD (in August, I think). It's really opened the door for me in starting to understand myself and explain things that have been so difficult.

In typical ADHD fashion, I'm sure there was a reason I started this post, other than just to speak about my diagnoses. I think there was something linked to previous posts, but if there was...it's gone!

It would be good to connect with similar people and share experiences.

Jonathan said:
I actually have a whiteboard on my desk, and it can be quite useful for work sometimes. Also tend to do my meal planning for the week on it.
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I do this too. I draw a grid and put all our family arrangements on it, which child has to wear uniform/PE kit on which day, and any appointments or homework that's due in.
 
I'm a weird gardener.

If I didn't use an A4 sheet "school timetable" to cover each fortnight, I simply couldn't cope.

Nice and neat at the start, mass of scribble by the end, but it all means something, either for me or the taxman.

Proud to say I did the timetable grid all by myself on the 'puter though!
 
If people don’t mind me butting in a second, I’ve got something I’d like to canvass the fellow autistics on here for their opinions on.

In work, I have been asked to fill out a “manual of me”, where I have to provide some important information about myself and some of my preferences and ways of doing things in the workplace to allow my colleagues to get to know me better (this was not just a “me” thing; this was given to the whole team as a task following one of our leads attending a leadership session and hearing about practices in other teams in the organisation). The lead who introduced the concept to us then showed us hers as an example, where she put things on there like “I am a working mother” and “I have anxiety and struggle with conflict, so may show signs of stress when conflict arises”. The whole exercise is supposed to encourage transparency with our colleagues and allow the team to get to know each other and our individual ways of working a bit better (albeit we were told that we didn’t have to put anything we weren’t 100% comfortable putting).

This is where my autism-related quandary arises. I’m wondering whether I should put in my “manual” that I have autism and may resultantly struggle at times with non-verbal cues and taking things more literally than intended.

I’m torn. Part of me feels like this might be a useful thing for my colleagues to know about me, and my mum did once ask me “do your colleagues know you have autism?” after a situation that occurred at work last week (nothing bad or that I got into trouble about, just a situation where I may have struggled to see some of the finer social nuances without my line manager advising me of them).

But on the other hand, I’m really, really scared about being “othered” if I reveal to my colleagues I have autism. I’m not traditionally very open about my condition and am someone who likes to keep it quite a closely guarded secret, and it’s something I’d almost say I’m quite ashamed of. I’m scared that if I reveal this to my colleagues, they might treat me differently because of it, and I really don’t want that. My team are all supportive and caring people, but my fear about divulging my autism is that lots of people tend to lump you into one of two boxes if they know you have autism; I feel like many either think of you as “severely disabled”, wherein you may struggle with things like speech and day-to-day independent living, or “Sheldon Cooper”, wherein you’re academically brilliant but completely socially obnoxious.

What do you guys think? Do you think my fears are warranted, or should I be transparent about my condition and let my colleagues know about the possible ramifications for my work style as a result of it?
 
BarryZola said:
Yeah, definitely tell them. It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and most people wouldn't treat you any differently because of it.
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This is just anecdotal evidence (and admittedly might be purely coincidental), but every time I mentioned being autistic on a job application, I never got anywhere. Decided not to when I applied for the job at Sainsbury’s in 2013, and I got the job. Revealed the fact I was autistic early on in the role, and my line manager said it wouldn’t have mattered if I had mentioned it during the recruitment process, which I found interesting. For each of the jobs I’ve had since then, I’ve mentioned the fact I’m autistic, and it’s never really been a problem at all. I don’t recall being treated any differently by my colleagues because of being autistic - if anything, they’ve often been intrigued by it as to how it affects me!
 
You should speak to the lead who showed you theirs and raise the same concerns you have done here. Likelihood is they had doubts about putting their anxiety and struggles with conflict too so can sympathise and offer advice.

If your colleagues are as supportive and caring as you say I'm sure they'll be understanding and probably just more be intrigued, as the poster above said.
 
You could simply admit to struggling sometimes understanding other peoples communications.

If you tend to prefer to keep things quiet, keep things quiet. You are not doing anything wrong, people have different levels of openness.

Personally I have always celebrated my "uniqueness", and wear my heart on my sleeve.

We are all different, there is no shame.

Some just have a greater personal need to conform.
 
Matt N said:
I’m wondering whether I should put in my “manual” that I have autism and may resultantly struggle at times with non-verbal cues and taking things more literally than intended.
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Similarly to @rob666, I favour the approach of explaining that you struggle at times with non-verbal cues and taking things more literally than intended, but without offering further explanation to the reason. You do not have to disclose your autism diagnosis if you do not feel comfortable doing so, or you fear any ramifications, but I do think it's important to highlight any areas where you struggle.

Many people will also have the same difficulties, and are likely fellow autists, but they may not have had a medical diagnosis yet.

Sometimes it helps to separate cause and effect. I think this is one of those instances. The simple fact is that, diagnosis or not, you do you struggle at times with non-verbal cues and taking things more literally than intended. Letting your colleagues know this will help you and them immensely. They don't need to know the reasons why you struggle, just that you do, and then they can adapt accordingly.
 
If you are concerned about being “othered” as an autistic person then perhaps you could use the word Neurodiverse on the form instead?

Small difference I know but it might make you feel more comfortable to describe yourself for example as a neurodiverse person that struggles with non-verbal cues if you are unsure about describing yourself on the form as an autistic person at this point.
 
Jonathan said:
This is just anecdotal evidence (and admittedly might be purely coincidental), but every time I mentioned being autistic on a job application, I never got anywhere. Decided not to when I applied for the job at Sainsbury’s in 2013, and I got the job. Revealed the fact I was autistic early on in the role, and my line manager said it wouldn’t have mattered if I had mentioned it during the recruitment process, which I found interesting. For each of the jobs I’ve had since then, I’ve mentioned the fact I’m autistic, and it’s never really been a problem at all. I don’t recall being treated any differently by my colleagues because of being autistic - if anything, they’ve often been intrigued by it as to how it affects me!
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Yes, but he's already in there and working with them, so he's past the interview stage. Now he's got his foot in the door I should think that how good he is at his job will be the most important thing. Obviously how you get on with your colleagues also matters to different degrees in different jobs but I think most people get on with others better when they're open about themselves and not perceived to be keeping secrets or whatever, which is why my advice was just to be open about being autistic. I mean there are certain conditions that some might not want to share with a whole office, like incontinence or whatever, but being on the autism spectrum is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in any way (not that incontinenece is, but you know what I mean). Anyway, the important thing is that Matt does what he's comfortable with, that was just my humble opinion.
 
Matt you're working with civil service now aren't you? Well known for being one of the more inclusive employers. If you're comfy sharing then do, whether it's difficulties or diagnosis people probably won't care, however these things give me terrible ick and I don't personally comply.

Worst thing was a fashion a while back to put this sort of info in email signature blocks. I mean, (OSA compliant exclamation incoming) good grief, complete over share in my opinion. If this is my first and last interaction with a person I don't think I need to know. If I do need to know, a quiet conversation is much more appropriate.
 
Thank you for all of your kind comments and suggestions.

Having thought about it, I might chat to my line manager about this and raise some of the concerns I have here. She’s always been friendly and approachable throughout my 2.5 months in the organisation so far, and she’s probably the person I talk to most at work, so I feel like asking her about it before putting it on my manual would reassure me somewhat and potentially allay some of my concerns.

I’ll admit I’m not someone who likes to ruminate at length about their condition, hence why autism support groups and that sort of thing have never really been for me, and I’ll admit I’ve realised that I find it increasingly hard to talk about my experience as an autistic child at times, but I think it’s probably good for transparency if my close colleagues do know.

I find this sort of thing difficult more generally, as I wouldn’t call myself a terribly emotionally open person at the best of times…
 
Strongly agree with the consensus of sharing a couple of your main difficulties with your line manager at least. You could possibly do so with people you get on with the best in the team at a later date if you felt it would be of benefit.

Applying/revealing labels of any description in the workplace is always complex. The neurodiverse concept has eased things a little and made it more broad brush to hard labels. It's hard to give advice because the sad reality is that many workplaces often feature ambition and competitiveness, and revealing everything could be a risk - but not all workplaces are the same. Consider revealing only what - if it were to be addressed - would truly help you. Then, maybe keep a few things, including any formal diagnosis or medical terms to yourself. Sometimes this approach can be a great one. Self-reflection, self-learning, even self-observation, can be great tools. You're already identifying where you find things a little more difficult so half the battle is won, well done!

If you're in the Civil Service and an established employee there, I would you say your protections and security are probably as high as anything in the British working world, so do what feels right and a chat with your lead sounds like it could be a great thing, even if it ends up being the only thing you ever do.
 
I have dysgraphia that affects my handwriting (some days it's fine, some days it's 3 attempts to write a sentence.) I do not disclose it as it isn't relevant, but have mentioned it to colleagues in passing that if they need something re-written into something readable, I will happily do it. It isn't on file for me, we just get on with it. I just treat it as something else I am, like me being not wise to send to certain events as I have no patience with loud, annoying children.

I am terrible at picking up cues that aren't direct and obvious. Just how it is and my colleagues have adapted to that.
 
I talked to my line manager about it this afternoon. I did tell her about my diagnosis, I explained some of the concerns I expressed here, I explained I’m not terribly open about it, and I did stress that I didn’t want a big deal made out of it.

She said she was thankful that I told her and happy that I felt able to open up about it to her. She said that it was up to me whether I put it in my manual to share with the wider data team I work within (around 10-15 people) or whether I wanted to keep it to just me and her, or purely within the smaller product development-based sub-team of 4 that I work within (me, my line manager, our Grade 7 who leads the team and another developer at my grade). However, she did say that the wider team is “supportive” and would not treat me any differently if they knew about my diagnosis, and also said that if I would like any adjustments to be put into place, I only need ask her (I haven’t asked for any adjustments, as I have no current issues with my work environment).

I’m not sure if I feel better for having told my line manager about my diagnosis, but I was somewhat reassured by her understanding response. I know she certainly isn’t treating me any differently as a result of it, as we had a spirited discussion later in the day about a project I started today that was just the same as any discussion I’d had with her prior and she didn’t even mention it!

For clarity, I am currently a contractor working within the Civil Service who is formally employed by an agency, with a contract running until the end of March, but there is apparently a view to opening up a permanent role for me to apply for if budget planning goes in my favour.
 
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