I'm still trying to get my head around what I made of Valhalla to assemble some thoughts together. The main thing I simply cannot get my head around, is the fact that the ride was closed for 3 entire years. It's not really any better, it's possibly worse, and the soaking levels are utterly absurd. Having been too tight to buy a poncho, I paid the price, and was kindly loaned one by
@rob666 for my second go. Still got my shoes utterly drenched. Poncho hoods too big, if you put them up you can hardly see anything. I've worn wellies on this ride on one trip, and I'd consider doing it again. I'd rather pay £5 for a locker and stuff decent waterproofs & wellies into it, than pay the same for a crap poncho when your feet get soaked anyway. We came to the conclusion that Valhalla is effectively pay per ride, due to the massive proportion of riders buying a poncho beforehand. They must order them in massive bulk, probably for pennies each, thus making a colossal profit on them. That's Mandy's new Defender paid for then.
Whilst it was good fun to be back on it at long last, I'd all but forgotten how miserable it is walking round with wet socks & shoes for a few hours afterwards. Before we stepped into row 2, I could see an inch or two of water sat on the boat floor, so just about squeezed my feet onto the little ledge under the seats in front (front row is best for this as you just place your feet on the angled bit in front of you). Then I had the idea to shuffle sideways enough to put my feet on the ledge halfway up the boat's right hand side. Bad idea, as your feet get it even worse on those annoying bits of the ride where water just dumps over the boat sides going round corners. The bend before the final drop, and just after the final drop, was horrific for this. At least the water vortex is working so no water was dumped into our laps as it so often has done before. But as others have said, you also get hit with a barrage of water from the right in the run-out after the final drop. The final insult of the ride.
I'm not a Valhalla nerd so can't say for sure what effects weren't working, but there were more dark sections than I expected, so I guess a fair bit was turned off, and the hammers & log roll weren't working. As
@shakey has alluded to, there were a few spots where you could see into the building, removing the mystery that a dark ride should hold. Quite laughable really.
It felt weird not going to the building edge and seeing out, and having the mini drop forwards instead of backwards, and we got a terrible soaking on the front row from whatever character it is that spits water at you after the mini drop. And there I was thinking that corner would finally be more pleasant - the sharp turn on Valhalla Mk.1 after the boat had set off forwards again badly bashed my bare knee into the side on the right of the boat. I had 2 rides, both on the right side. My memory is of the left side being worst for water tipping over the boat sides, especially as the vessel ungracefully barges round those post lift hill turns, but the right side is pretty bad for it too, in other places.
Basically the warning sign outside the ride which states "YOU WILL GET WET, YOU MAY GET SOAKED" might as well just say "YOU
WILL GET SOAKED". The combination of water tipping over the boat sides & being dumped onto your lap is beyond a joke. I'm not sure if the fact that the sign also says "SOME ELEMENTS TAKE PLACE IN TOTAL DARKNESS" is basically just them admitting that half the effects may be turned off at any point. Most likely. We are also warned that the ride has "DRAMATIC DROPS STOPS AND TURNS". I'm sure the turns are only dramatic for the bucket of water that tips over the sides on so many of them. The soaking level really is quite comedic, except for the fact that as already stated, walking around for hours with trench foot isn't pleasant at all. I think my waterproof trousers, jacket & wellies will make an appearance before the season is over. I agree with
@Rick that the current ride experience simply doesn't justify the ridiculous level of soaking this ride punishes you with.
So, I can see why the feeling overall from those who've been on it recently is one of disappointment. 3 years to do what? Alter the turntables (admittedly a major-ish thing), tart up the station & control booth, put a few bizarre statues in, do nothing to lower the soaking level (maybe actually increasing it), not bother to cover up the bits where you can see into the building (thus confirming the 'log flume in a shed' theory). Is that it? Good fun, but I'm glad we only waited 10 mins for it, and my shoes still aren't dry from Thurs yet. The summary of
@shakey perfectly encapsulates the ride: "Best water ride in the world? It's not even the best water ride in the park"
