Existential Crisis? Towers and it's future

[Matt.GC]

Thanks both for your kind words. Not a single fortnight has gone by without something since mid February, even for an ass like me it's been quite tiring. I didn't want to intrude on a conversation I wasn't a part of but just thought I'd give a view from someone who hasn't been who would normally have been at least twice by now and why I just can't see any reason to either?

I presume Marathon is referring to a jog and not the chocolate bar. If so this isn't even a slow jog. It's backwards. At this rate, by the time they fix 1 thing, 2 more things will be broken. The whole point in this thread is the progress. And on balance, it's regression is it not?

Alton Manor is just essential maintenance more than anything which should have happened years ago. Nemesis is being retracked but what other option did they have? Close it or put something inferior (most likely) in it's place. Wickerman will be 8 years old by 2026, so an even smaller investment (which also falls in the essential category) than the last one when they used to pump out major investments far more regularly. None of this is progress, it's just day to day theme park management - and I would say it's bare minimum at that. There will never be a day when any park on earth is fully completed.

When I take on a new (usually broken) store at work, I don't pat myself on the back because all the deliveries were worked that day - they'll be whole load more arriving tomorrow. They'll be a long list of maintenance, cleanliness, process, people, KPI, legal etc issues that need to be sorted and each and every day I'd need to make progress. And I usually won't have a lot of money to do it with.

This isn't about big essential projects. Why have they made zero progress against all these things over the last couple of years for example as none are particularly that exhaustive when the resort is in such a state:

*Added 1 permanent themed flat.
*Reopened Sub Terra.
*Spent an extra grand or 2 tarting up the monorail station rather than getting Bob the maintenance guy to unimaginatively get the job lot purple paint out of the shed.
*Refitted 1 toilet block.
*Refitted 30 rooms in Splash.
*Extended water park opening hours.
*Done something to improve Dark Forest from the scaffolding and fence look.
*Cleaned and touched up the Smiler queue.
*Cleaned and touched up the Galactica queue.
*Reopened TS Bar and Grill
*Replaced the seating are cover in the MB courtyard.
*Sorted out maintenance and tech services rate of pay and T&C's.
*Done something - ANYTHING - to the ghastly state of the rapids and the tunnel.

Instead, the opposite. We've seen regression. These decisions have nothing to do with PLC Merlin, these are all choices they have made:

*Failed to get numerous attractions ready for service before the season began.
*Removed 2 attractions.
*2 other attractions yet to open at all.
*Cut opening hours.
*Jacked up the hotel prices to outrageous levels whilst making massive cutbacks to the quality.
*Contracted out their limited and already poor quality food offering to a middle man company who has whacked the prices up, driven the quality and service levels down and is busy peeling 100% stickers off of windows.
*Left pretty much everything else as it was last year, only this year it's all another year older.

Imagine a 1 per year or every other year visitor. Why on earth would you want to go to Alton Towers this year when you know this stuff?

 

[Craig]

I think most in here are pretty realistic that everything won’t be sorted overnight. However, I think it’s fair to say a realistic expectation is that existing standards should be maintained while they target improvement at other areas, no?

Instead what we seem to be seeing is improvements on the horizon (pun intended) in one respect, but masses of other elements that make up a day at a theme park further divebombing. It’s no good having shiny new rides if your existing guests are already put off visiting because the experience throughout the rest of the day is sub par to put it mildly.

 

[ChristmasPud]

Although I'm not trying to invalidate people's opinions (I hardly think the resort is glowing right now), I am surprised there is so much rock bottom outlook by many long time fans on here this season. Only because I grew up in a time that Alton Towers seemed to be in the absolute nadir, I feel like this time is relatively the most positive I've ever known the park in 20 years.

At that time, the whole park looked and felt more lifeless, other than isolated exceptions like Ug Land and Cariba Creek. We had Duel falling apart on opening, the gardens were derelict, Air and Oblivion were empty, Black Hole closed for years, Cred Street was a non entity, and the most interesting entertainment on park was the Tweenies.

When Merlin got the place, things just sort of drifted sideways without really improving the park. For every step forward there was a step back. An enormous amount of money wasted on flawed attractions that didn't develop the park's offering, until Wicker Man.

There are so many issues with the park now but I can't help but feel things are on the climb up rather than the climb down.

 

[Duckworth1]

Thanks both for your kind words. Not a single fortnight has gone by without something since mid February, even for an ass like me it's been quite tiring. I didn't want to intrude on a conversation I wasn't a part of but just thought I'd give a view from someone who hasn't been who would normally have been at least twice by now and why I just can't see any reason to either?

I presume Marathon is referring to a jog and not the chocolate bar. If so this isn't even a slow jog. It's backwards. At this rate, by the time they fix 1 thing, 2 more things will be broken. The whole point in this thread is the progress. And on balance, it's regression is it not?

Alton Manor is just essential maintenance more than anything which should have happened years ago. Nemesis is being retracked but what other option did they have? Close it or put something inferior (most likely) in it's place. Wickerman will be 8 years old by 2026, so an even smaller investment (which also falls in the essential category) than the last one when they used to pump out major investments far more regularly. None of this is progress, it's just day to day theme park management - and I would say it's bare minimum at that. There will never be a day when any park on earth is fully completed.

When I take on a new (usually broken) store at work, I don't pat myself on the back because all the deliveries were worked that day - they'll be whole load more arriving tomorrow. They'll be a long list of maintenance, cleanliness, process, people, KPI, legal etc issues that need to be sorted and each and every day I'd need to make progress. And I usually won't have a lot of money to do it with.

This isn't about big essential projects. Why have they made zero progress against all these things over the last couple of years for example as none are particularly that exhaustive when the resort is in such a state:

*Added 1 permanent themed flat.
*Reopened Sub Terra.
*Spent an extra grand or 2 tarting up the monorail station rather than getting Bob the maintenance guy to unimaginatively get the job lot purple paint out of the shed.
*Refitted 1 toilet block.
*Refitted 30 rooms in Splash.
*Extended water park opening hours.
*Done something to improve Dark Forest from the scaffolding and fence look.
*Cleaned and touched up the Smiler queue.
*Cleaned and touched up the Galactica queue.
*Reopened TS Bar and Grill
*Replaced the seating are cover in the MB courtyard.
*Sorted out maintenance and tech services rate of pay and T&C's.
*Done something - ANYTHING - to the ghastly state of the rapids and the tunnel.

Instead, the opposite. We've seen regression. These decisions have nothing to do with PLC Merlin, these are all choices they have made:

*Failed to get numerous attractions ready for service before the season began.
*Removed 2 attractions.
*2 other attractions yet to open at all.
*Cut opening hours.
*Jacked up the hotel prices to outrageous levels whilst making massive cutbacks to the quality.
*Contracted out their limited and already poor quality food offering to a middle man company who has whacked the prices up, driven the quality and service levels down and is busy peeling 100% stickers off of windows.
*Left pretty much everything else as it was last year, only this year it's all another year older.

Imagine a 1 per year or every other year visitor. Why on earth would you want to go to Alton Towers this year when you know this stuff?

Brutal, but honest state of play. A lot of these issues seemingly have little finiancal impact other than staff costs and budget. Merlin seem to be running it like a Sports Direct, banking on little to no competition.

 

[QTXAdsy]

Honestly, there is nothing more to say for this topic as at this point we're all saying the same thing and preaching to the converted; question is will Merlin do anything to try and sort at least one of the many issues the park is suffering?

Not saying we lock the thread because really there is nothing more to say other than Towers is in world of trouble at the moment and we're saying the same thing over and over and over again and I'm fed of with saying the same things I have about the place and want something different to talk about that won't be further more tom foolery from the park.

On new attractions they have made, they have wasted industrial money on some that are either flawed or to hit a USP that has been going on since the Tussauds days or don't last long (looking at you Sub Terra) so Merlin are just really a company of startling contradictions in which they'll spend money like crazy person who's just won the lottery and yet will not put a penny in for the upkeep of everything else. The real question should is Merlin aware of the problems they have landed the park in and if they want to fix them, maybe still blind to all the problems on the park or have just released at long last what their ego has gotten them into and will try and find a scapegoat to throw under the bus to save their skins?

 

[Rob]

Although I'm not trying to invalidate people's opinions (I hardly think the resort is glowing right now), I am surprised there is so much rock bottom outlook by many long time fans on here this season. Only because I grew up in a time that Alton Towers seemed to be in the absolute nadir, I feel like this time is relatively the most positive I've ever known the park in 20 years.

At that time, the whole park looked and felt more lifeless, other than isolated exceptions like Ug Land and Cariba Creek. We had Duel falling apart on opening, the gardens were derelict, Air and Oblivion were empty, Black Hole closed for years, Cred Street was a non entity, and the most interesting entertainment on park was the Tweenies.

When Merlin got the place, things just sort of drifted sideways without really improving the park. For every step forward there was a step back. An enormous amount of money wasted on flawed attractions that didn't develop the park's offering, until Wicker Man.

There are so many issues with the park now but I can't help but feel things are on the climb up rather than the climb down.

I think the problem is that there have been far too many dire days at the park this season. Saturday just gone was the worst day for operations/availability that I have ever known it all my time visiting Alton Towers. It was a real sorry state of affairs.

Couple that with rotting theming, peeling paintwork, food offerings and quality getting worse and not better then it all start to paint a pretty poor picture. Things like Wicker Man and Alton Manor are certainly huge pluses and without them this season would be a complete write off. And I have no doubt that the lack of Nemesis this season is having a large impact on a day at the park; it is a coaster you would always be able to get on. Not having it has changed the dynamic of my typical day at Alton Towers.

So far 2023 feels worse than 2022 and 2021. There is of course time to save this from an operational point of view.

 

[Zeock]

It should be easy to make minor improvements quickly eg. making sure everything is clean, and then perhaps, in an ideal world, they could focus on more major things, slowly but surely.

 

[jon81uk]

I do get your points about 4 years having passed since the private buyout. However, what I would say is that the lists of problems people keep reeling off are quite long, and I almost wonder if trying to address them all at once would be impossible.

I feel that the park are currently in a bit of a no-win situation, wherein if they address one problem, people will still moan that they haven’t addressed a different one. Realistically, you’re not going to see a bundle of new flat rides, a renovated Duel, a renovated Congo River Rapids, a new headline water ride, a renovated Monorail etc etc all done in a couple of years. Had the park, say, built a bundle of new flat rides instead of renovating Duel into Alton Manor for 2023, people would still be moaning that they hadn’t sorted out Duel. Had they spent big money renovating the Monorail instead of renovating Nemesis (a full Monorail renovation would inevitably be a costly project), Nemesis may well have been unable to operate past 2022, and that would inevitably have generated upset.

But if they had addressed a few problems each year over four years we wouldn't be in this mess. The original TLC scheme did a decent amount over three years, but then needed to keep going and then restart as something will need painting again five years later. Instead due to cost cutting they didn't keep up with painting and cleaning in some areas.

Same with flat rides, adding one a year over three years is better than needing to add three all in one year.

 

[Plastic Person]

Chessington was left to rot so thoroughly that it took a toddler falling off a balcony and a subsequent H&S investigation to wake Merlin up. I hope Alton doesn't encounter the same nadir. To be frank, the park is so large that it has always suffered from a layer of grub, but the state of The Smiler this year is incomparable to anything in my personal catalogue of disenchantment, although @ChristmasPud is right in saying that the park arguably looked worse twenty years back.

 

[ChristmasPud]

The original TLC scheme did a decent amount over three years, but then needed to keep going and then restart as something will need painting again five years later. Instead due to cost cutting they didn't keep up with painting and cleaning in some areas.

It's worth saying there have always been basic maintenance works like what came under the TLC name, a look at the old winter season updates on sites like Towers Times proves it. https://www.towerstimes.co.uk/history/closed-season-archive/

When these kinds of annual works started to get advertised with its own social media, it was only a sign of how lacking the maintenance actually is. That the park saw it like a rarity worth advertising, or at least something to prove publicly, when this would be standard works at other parks.

Especially Hex and Duel, repairing things that should never have closed /been broken so long in the first place and still didn't bring those attractions up to standard.

Hex, Duel, monorail station and many other works had similar works done many times in the past. The Nemesis repaint was much better than previous attempts but even then should have been routine maintenance.

Similar works continued even once the TLC updates stopped, the idea of a TLC scheme was enthusiast PR. The works themselves were alright but not enough.

 

[jon81uk]

It's worth saying there have always been basic maintenance works like what came under the "TLC scheme", a look at the old winter season updates on sites like Towers Times proves it. https://www.towerstimes.co.uk/history/closed-season-archive/

When these kinds of annual works started to get advertised with its own social media page, it was really a sign of how lacking the maintenance actually is, that the park saw it as a rarity worth advertising, or at least something to prove publicly. Especially Hex and Duel, repairing things that should never have closed /been broken so long in the first place.

Hex, Duel, monorail station and many other works that came under the ficitonal TLC 'scheme' had similar works done many times in the past.

Similar works continued even once the TLC updates stopped. There was no TLC scheme, it was enthusiast PR.

The closure of Hex was linked to the Smiler incident cost-cutting, yes marketing hijacked the TLC scheme to keep it closed for a year longer than it needed.

But the beginning of the programme was about doing slightly more than the usual maintenance, it picked out things that hadn't been touched for many many years and restored them, such as the zombie outside Duel, it was more than the usual repainting that TT and TS report on. There was originally a focus on improving the areas back to their original state more than just standard maintaining. Of course if the maintenance is done more regularly the bigger overhaul shouldn't be needed.

Unfortunately Wayne Burton then got promoted to Merlin instead of just Alton Towers and the focus on product excellance at the park went with him.

 

[ChristmasPud]

Unfortunately Wayne Burton then got promoted to Merlin instead of just Alton Towers and the focus on product excellance at the park went with him.

Unless this person was head of scenic maintenance, and the role was abolished after they left, I don't think it's anything to do with any particular person at Alton Towers. I'd guess there wasn't and still isn't a proper routine scenic maintenance scheme / department.

I'd been visiting the park for many years and didn't see any particular different before or after the TLC works started to be posted online by the park. They carry on at the same pace now but just aren't advertised.

It did highlight a few bigger jobs that hadn't been done for so long, but sort self defeating when most werent proper refurbs back to original standard, other than Nemesis monster maybe.

Come to think, we've seen more additions since then not just maintenance. Like more audio zones around the park, although not always done the right way IMO, so still one step forward one step back

I guess my point is there does need to be a big, real TLC scheme and structure at this point, which the park has always lacked.

 

[jon81uk]

Unless this person was head of scenic maintenance, and the role was abolished after they left, I don't think it's anything to do with any particular person at Alton Towers. I'd guess there wasn't and still isn't a proper routine scenic maintenance scheme / department.

I'd been visiting the park for many years and didn't see any particular different before or after the TLC works started to be posted online by the park. They carry on at the same pace now but just aren't advertised.

Come to think, we've seen more additions since then not just maintenance. Like more audio zones added around the park (although not always gone about it the right way IMO). Still one step forward one step back

He was head of guest excellence for Alton Towers and now for Merlin as a whole. He used to post on these sort of forums, so as a thoosie he did have a passion to improve the park. It wasn't just the TLC programme, for a while there was cards in hotel rooms with his email address (or one made to look like his as it was wayne.burton@ or similar) to give feedback to. So nothing to do with scenic maintenance, just "how can we make this better for guests".

 

[ChristmasPud]

He was head of guest excellence for Alton Towers and now for Merlin as a whole. He used to post on these sort of forums, so as a thoosie he did have a passion to improve the park. It wasn't just the TLC programme, for a while there was cards in hotel rooms with his email address (or one made to look like his as it was wayne.burton@ or similar) to give feedback to. So nothing to do with scenic maintenance, just "how can we make this better for guests".

Not a proper structured scheme or qualified department for scenic maintenance then, I think this is part the problem, Merlin has never known how to go about these things so it gets ambiguously given to whoever by the sound of it

 

[jon81uk]

Not a proper structured scheme or qualified department for scenic maintenance then, I think this is part the problem, Merlin has never known how to go about these things so it gets ambiguously given to whoever by the sound of it

Yep, Merlin Magic Making have a great team for making scenes and props. But the individual parks don’t have anyone specialist for maintenance so you either get specialist external contractors such as they did for the nemesis station or just use standard contractors or employees to paint to the best of their ability.

But the point of the TLC scheme was a lot more about how can we improve the park so it looks better for guests.

 

[ML27]

The thing is all the parks need a year round TLC program.

In case of Thorpe and Chessington, over the closed season they paint things and renovate old and damaged theming and scenery and outlets. However then the parks gets left for 8 months unless there’s an H&S issue which needs fixing.

I think it should be common to see a wet paint sign and barricaded off areas for TLC enhancements. Yes, they are a seasonal park in the way they operate and plan their ride maintenance schedule. However looking after the park all year should be common compared to being left now.

The issue isn’t Merlin Magic Making, they have nothing to do with improving the parks with small improvements or even rides unless the park leadership team reach out saying this is what we want and then they get involved.

 

[James]

Towers Loving Care was very much a passion project. It was mostly done on a shoestring budget and in-house (hence why some things didn't come across polished/professionally done - see the replaced sound system in Hex), but it was a good showcase of how a regular maintenance program (beyond painting over everything) is so important for a theme park. Unfortunately marketing used the Towers Loving Care branding to justify SBNO rides after the Smiler crashed so the name was somewhat tarnished however the original idea was with good intentions.

It's difficult as there are people at Towers that do care, they simply don't have the budgets/allowance/support from Merlin to run and maintain the park as it should be.

At this moment in time operations are in dire need of being fixed. This is something they can do now and should be a priority. Beyond that, get a proper maintenance program in place, similar to the previous TLC program, this should be year-round, where a team is in place that can maintain theming/park presentation throughout the season, and work on bigger projects over the closed season. Continue investments, however, support this with additional projects on the side, prioritise one per season if need be. Add one flat ride one season, refurbish the monorail another season, and refit a toilet block another season. Step by step and you'll have a park in a far better condition.

 

[Matt.GC]

Finally went for the first time this season. I last went in the middle of Scarefest and this is one of the longest periods I've left it between visits.

On one hand, the park had a look and feel about it that was even worse than I expected. It was grey and rainy most of the day which didn't help. I knew Nemesis being closed would be the single biggest blow to my experience but I didn't expect it's absence to shine a light even more on problems that I knew already existed. Operations were generally OK, there weren't any drama's either.

The park just looks so barren, charmless, tatty, cheap and run down. Take Galactica for example. I know it's pretty much opened as it closed last season. But when all else around is quiet, you don't hear Nemesis roaring around and the centrepiece of FV is blocked off, it feels lifeless. You join the queue for a coaster which has no real theme, walk through a queue line where poorly conceived grey paint work on the original rock work is fading, past dirty track, into a dusty dark station with all the screens off and paint flaking off of hand rails to get on a quite dull flyer that gives you a ride through a damp concrete tunnel, around a muddy landscape with a view of a car park.
Once finished, you walk up a stairwell and through a boarded up shop out into a half boarded up area containing a fun fair flat that the you queue for past an old retail unit that's now used for restaurant storage.

After walking past a plain black entrance sign leading to a 43 year old pirate ship that's painted plain brown and bright yellow, you pass a shuttered burger unit, a closed Sky Ride station, a theming object of a ride that's currently not operating and some scaffolding by the entrance of another attraction that hasn't operated for years. Thankfully, you can then get to a newly revived Gloomy Wood, but even that's via another retail unit with the shutters pulled down and beyond that is a Mine Train who's partially obscured façade is the only theming to it (safe from a tunnel exit that's now hidden behind a tall fence with plastic windows in it). You then pass a rapids ride that has almost nothing going for it as it gently meanders around a trough past almost zero theming and through a concrete cave lit with LED's. It has a strange Australian voice in an African "themed" area bigging up excitement that the ride doesn't deliver in any shape or form, and 2 different music tracks (one iconic and classic, the other one ambient and forgettable) competing for your attention whilst playing over each other.

Again, things improve when you get to Mutiny Bay and the Wickerman plaza. But that's before I mention the 2 average coasters and nothing else rattling around a former prehistoric themed area painted grey with a massive scaffolding clad plain wood fence being it's centerpiece, with little atmosphere or theme coherency (unless the terrible state of wood panelled brick theming falling off around the Thirteen station is supposed to deliver this). Or the state of the chipped blue paint that was unceremoniously thrown all over the Walliams World Theatres rotting facade that now acts as a simple queue line for another fun fair flat in a mess of a back street that claims to be a park "area" (who's quite new star attraction is a tiny dark ride complete with a queue line where the wall paper is peeling off the walls). The once foreboding X Sector, containing more metal shutters hiding closed outlets, a boarded up Oblivion shop (as if the terrible state of the queue line for Oblivion in the first place wasn't enough), 2 more funfair flats playing naff rock music with garish lights where permanent installations once stood (1 quite recently) and a slimy queue line for Smiler, which on ride feels like it's vibrating more than it should and someone that morning couldn't even be bothered to turn the volume up for the audio on the second lift hill. Oh and X Sector appears to be a park area that children are all but unwelcome in now as all 4 attractions are now all 1.4m height limits.

Both monorail stations (the less said about the onride experience of the knacked rolling stock the better) are now painted standard purple that looks silly. In a similar vein, Towers Street with primary colours painted over damaged facades and buildings that seem eerily abandoned if you didn't know there were offices behind much of them. Even the "Towers Lounge" sign placed where the Bar and Grill hanging sign used to be is wonky and looks like it's ready to fall down.

I haven't even mentioned the food, which I consider out of bounds now and would have deflated me more. Or the accommodation.

On the other hand, seeing the front lawns, bright green with with all the sun shine and rain we've been having, beautiful trees stood in front of an incredible looking Towers back drop. A quick walk around the top of the fantastic gardens. It still really is a beautiful and precious place. Wickerman is now 5 years old and doesn't appear to be following the trend of the rest of the place remarkably and is mostly keeping up with appearances (although the smoke could do with being turned up). You can't help but enjoy the site of new, fresh B&M track being installed at Towers for the first time in over 2 decades. Although I dislike the journey they're going with it so far, I know an excellent, fresh looking and rejuvenated star of the show will be opening in FV next year and they really want you to know about it. I know NST will open soon to give a shot in the arm to the diminished state of the ride lineup and credit has to be given to what they've done with Alton Manor which was very enjoyable

I suppose some people can be forgiven for feeling positive when trawling through planning documents on the Staffordshire Moorlands planning portal for something which is effectively a park extension. Or when a new head honcho subliminarily agrees that some serious issues exist by consenting to being broadcast on the internet walking around the lawns being told (politely) the park she's just taken on is a bit of a bin. Or just the site of fresh, shiny new B&M track in the car park. It all gives off a feeling of progress and the future, like the current experience isn't what things will be like in the future.

But even if we overlook certain things such as ride availability so far this season, I have to wonder why the park has opened this season like this? Were preparations not made for replacing Enterprise in advance because only 1 person knew it was end of life and they didn't tell anyone? Was the Aramark deal done by a Merlin board member acting as a lone wolf who has now been sacked? Was the procurement department waiting on a new consignment of car sponges and dusters on sticks but the supplier has let them down? Has the thin sheet metal to replace the graffiti'd stuff in the Oblivion queue line failed to arrive 3 times? Did Bob the maintenance guy have a bet with his mates down the pub that he could paint 20 things around the park in the same colour purple before anyone notices? Did the IP contract with David Walliams have an accidental clause in it that stipulates if they fixed up the Walliams World building facades he could sue them? Did a group of park managers get sent out to do their routine morning park walks of audio, effects, every pathway and queue line back in March, got lost in the gardens, haven't been seen since and now there's a search party out looking for them? Is there some sort of religious festival local to Staffordshire that takes place most days which means staff have to be home by 5pm so the park must shut at 4 (not yesterday by the way)?

I'm not sure how I feel about it all. The first coasters I've been on in 7 months so was raring to go and I had excited kids with me. But in the absence of some sunshine, an event, the parks finest attraction and any kind of credible food offering (I didn't even dare to try), yesterday felt like a bit of a low point in terms of my experiences with the park over a 34 year period. And that's saying something as that would have been 2017 beforehand. I know they can't change the weather (and I knew the forecast), I chose a non-event day and Nemesis being closed is for a good reason. But what I'm getting at is if you strip some of this back to the core of what's left, I felt what was on offer wasn't very good, or if the nuts and bolts still are, the presentation and value for money certainly isn't. Other than Alton Manor, I didn't feel compelled to do rerides like normal, despite the short queues, even when the weather dried up. Operations were generally OK and the staff were lovely. Maybe if Hex and the Sky Ride had been open and the food was still edible I may have felt differently? I know if Nemesis was open I would have done my usual last half hour of the day going round and round again until they shut the gates. But I had this feeling that everytime I tapped my bank card on something, they didn't deserve my custom. I was just there because "it's Alton Towers". It still has the same name as when I was a kid. It still has that location, that back drop, that stature.

Promises of posh new developments and change is in the air. But so much regression. It was an exciting time when Nemesis opened back in 1994. It felt like a new standard had been set - bright, exciting new era for the park. 30 years later and it's re-opening feels more like a Swansong. A love letter to the past. The final encore. The great finale.

 

[QTXAdsy]

Finally went for the first time this season. I last went in the middle of Scarefest and this is one of the longest periods I've left it between visits.

On one hand, the park had a look and feel about it that was even worse than I expected. It was grey and rainy most of the day which didn't help. I knew Nemesis being closed would be the single biggest blow to my experience but I didn't expect it's absence to shine a light even more on problems that I knew already existed. Operations were generally OK, there weren't any drama's either.

The park just looks so barren, charmless, tatty, cheap and run down. Take Galactica for example. I know it's pretty much opened as it closed last season. But when all else around is quiet, you don't hear Nemesis roaring around and the centrepiece of FV is blocked off, it feels lifeless. You join the queue for a coaster which has no real theme, walk through a queue line where poorly conceived grey paint work on the original rock work is fading, past dirty track, into a dusty dark station with all the screens off and paint flaking off of hand rails to get on a quite dull flyer that gives you a ride through a damp concrete tunnel, around a muddy landscape with a view of a car park.
Once finished, you walk up a stairwell and through a boarded up shop out into a half boarded up area containing a fun fair flat that the you queue for past an old retail unit that's now used for restaurant storage.

After walking past a plain black entrance sign leading to a 43 year old pirate ship that's painted plain brown and bright yellow, you pass a shuttered burger unit, a closed Sky Ride station, a theming object of a ride that's currently not operating and some scaffolding by the entrance of another attraction that hasn't operated for years. Thankfully, you can then get to a newly revived Gloomy Wood, but even that's via another retail unit with the shutters pulled down and beyond that is a Mine Train who's partially obscured façade is the only theming to it (safe from a tunnel exit that's now hidden behind a tall fence with plastic windows in it). You then pass a rapids ride that has almost nothing going for it as it gently meanders around a trough past almost zero theming and through a concrete cave lit with LED's. It has a strange Australian voice in an African "themed" area bigging up excitement that the ride doesn't deliver in any shape or form, and 2 different music tracks (one iconic and classic, the other one ambient and forgettable) competing for your attention whilst playing over each other.

Again, things improve when you get to Mutiny Bay and the Wickerman plaza. But that's before I mention the 2 average coasters and nothing else rattling around a former prehistoric themed area painted grey with a massive scaffolding clad plain wood fence being it's centerpiece, with little atmosphere or theme coherency (unless the terrible state of wood panelled brick theming falling off around the Thirteen station is supposed to deliver this). Or the state of the chipped blue paint that was unceremoniously thrown all over the Walliams World Theatres rotting facade that now acts as a simple queue line for another fun fair flat in a mess of a back street that claims to be a park "area" (who's quite new star attraction is a tiny dark ride complete with a queue line where the wall paper is peeling off the walls). The once foreboding X Sector, containing more metal shutters hiding closed outlets, a boarded up Oblivion shop (as if the terrible state of the queue line for Oblivion in the first place wasn't enough), 2 more funfair flats playing naff rock music with garish lights where permanent installations once stood (1 quite recently) and a slimy queue line for Smiler, which on ride feels like it's vibrating more than it should and someone that morning couldn't even be bothered to turn the volume up for the audio on the second lift hill. Oh and X Sector appears to be a park area that children are all but unwelcome in now as all 4 attractions are now all 1.4m height limits.

Both monorail stations (the less said about the onride experience of the knacked rolling stock the better) are now painted standard purple that looks silly. In a similar vein, Towers Street with primary colours painted over damaged facades and buildings that seem eerily abandoned if you didn't know there were offices behind much of them. Even the "Towers Lounge" sign placed where the Bar and Grill hanging sign used to be is wonky and looks like it's ready to fall down.

I haven't even mentioned the food, which I consider out of bounds now and would have deflated me more. Or the accommodation.

On the other hand, seeing the front lawns, bright green with with all the sun shine and rain we've been having, beautiful trees stood in front of an incredible looking Towers back drop. A quick walk around the top of the fantastic gardens. It still really is a beautiful and precious place. Wickerman is now 5 years old and doesn't appear to be following the trend of the rest of the place remarkably and is mostly keeping up with appearances (although the smoke could do with being turned up). You can't help but enjoy the site of new, fresh B&M track being installed at Towers for the first time in over 2 decades. Although I dislike the journey they're going with it so far, I know an excellent, fresh looking and rejuvenated star of the show will be opening in FV next year and they really want you to know about it. I know NST will open soon to give a shot in the arm to the diminished state of the ride lineup and credit has to be given to what they've done with Alton Manor which was very enjoyable

I suppose some people can be forgiven for feeling positive when trawling through planning documents on the Staffordshire Moorlands planning portal for something which is effectively a park extension. Or when a new head honcho subliminarily agrees that some serious issues exist by consenting to being broadcast on the internet walking around the lawns being told (politely) the park she's just taken on is a bit of a bin. Or just the site of fresh, shiny new B&M track in the car park. It all gives off a feeling of progress and the future, like the current experience isn't what things will be like in the future.

But even if we overlook certain things such as ride availability so far this season, I have to wonder why the park has opened this season like this? Were preparations not made for replacing Enterprise in advance because only 1 person knew it was end of life and they didn't tell anyone? Was the Aramark deal done by a Merlin board member acting as a lone wolf who has now been sacked? Was the procurement department waiting on a new consignment of car sponges and dusters on sticks but the supplier has let them down? Has the thin sheet metal to replace the graffiti'd stuff in the Oblivion queue line failed to arrive 3 times? Did Bob the maintenance guy have a bet with his mates down the pub that he could paint 20 things around the park in the same colour purple before anyone notices? Did the IP contract with David Walliams have an accidental clause in it that stipulates if they fixed up the Walliams World building facades he could sue them? Did a group of park managers get sent out to do their routine morning park walks of audio, effects, every pathway and queue line back in March, got lost in the gardens, haven't been seen since and now there's a search party out looking for them? Is there some sort of religious festival local to Staffordshire that takes place most days which means staff have to be home by 5pm so the park must shut at 4 (not yesterday by the way)?

I'm not sure how I feel about it all. The first coasters I've been on in 7 months so was raring to go and I had excited kids with me. But in the absence of some sunshine, an event, the parks finest attraction and any kind of credible food offering (I didn't even dare to try), yesterday felt like a bit of a low point in terms of my experiences with the park over a 34 year period. And that's saying something as that would have been 2017 beforehand. I know they can't change the weather (and I knew the forecast), I chose a non-event day and Nemesis being closed is for a good reason. But what I'm getting at is if you strip some of this back to the core of what's left, I felt what was on offer wasn't very good, or if the nuts and bolts still are, the presentation and value for money certainly isn't. Other than Alton Manor, I didn't feel compelled to do rerides like normal, despite the short queues, even when the weather dried up. Operations were generally OK and the staff were lovely. Maybe if Hex and the Sky Ride had been open and the food was still edible I may have felt differently? I know if Nemesis was open I would have done my usual last half hour of the day going round and round again until they shut the gates. But I had this feeling that everytime I tapped my bank card on something, they didn't deserve my custom. I was just there because "it's Alton Towers". It still has the same name as when I was a kid. It still has that location, that back drop, that stature.

Promises of posh new developments and change is in the air. But so much regression. It was an exciting time when Nemesis opened back in 1994. It felt like a new standard had been set - bright, exciting new era for the park. 30 years later and it's re-opening feels more like a Swansong. A love letter to the past. The final encore. The great finale.

You honestly should get a job writing eulogies, you'd make a good deal of money based on that.

 

[Matt.GC]

You honestly should get a job writing eulogies, you'd make a good deal of money based on that.

Unfortunately, I've written and read 2 out in the last few weeks. But I'll take that as a compliment? Wasn't meant to sound pretentious, just my thoughts. Besides, my grammar and spelling is terrible so I'll have to stick to selling beans for now.