Ive decided to post in here despite the thread dying down because I feel I need to clear thins up. As a transsexual the very notion that people are stressing that 'gender is physical' is harmful to me.
The reason why this is hurtful is because this is the kind of thought process that is used to attack people like myself. In the past few years alone I have suffered abuse, ridicule, sexual harassment, losing friends, being turned down for jobs and almost being cut out of my family. This was all because of the notion that gender is physical. And the surprising thing is, I've had it lucky. People are beaten, raped and murdered because of this thought process. Hundreds of people lose their lives every year because of transphobia. So this is something I take very seriously.
None of you have to deal with this. Luckily for you, your sex matches your gender. Nobody is challenging that, so you can be safe that you are being accepted for your identity. In essence, you are speaking from a position of privilege. But for me, that's not the case. In this thread, I've seen people talk about how having a penis makes you a man, and that's that. Hell, someone actually outright says it:
Who you are as a person, is just that. I don't see the point in giving your self a label. You can say you are a girl trapped in a man's body, or vis virsa but alas you are still a man, (until you go all the way in terms of sex change)
I need to note that Fredward sent me a private message afterwards apologising for upsetting me. But the fact that this even came up, in a forum that BigT criticised for being 'too liberal', really needs to be addressed. Trans* rights are decades behind LGB rights. There is a distinct lack of understanding as to what we are, and is regularly accepted that whatever genitalia we possessed at birth, that's what we are.
Firstly, back to basics. 'Sex' is what is referred to as 'between your legs'. These are the physical attributes you are born with. However, this isn't always so clear cut as 'male' or 'female'. We know what the accepted male and female anatomies are - penis for men, vagina and breasts for women - but some people are also born with various physical features that could belong to either sex. This is what is known as 'intersex'. So if we follow the definition that sex = gender, then how would you define an intersex person?
The simple answer is, you can't. People try - there have been many intersex babies born where the parents have made them have certain operations to 'make' them one sex or the other. For example, a baby could be born with both male and female genitalia and the parents would decide to raise the child as a girl. Therefore, an operation would be performed that would remove the penis and the baby would then be raised female.
Biologically speaking, the baby is still the same as before. They've had an operation to look a certain way, but their sex still lies between male and female.
So where does gender come into all this, then? Going back to the classic saying, sex is between your legs but gender is between your ears. Gender is how you perceive yourself. And unfortunately, this is where it gets complicated.
I want to stress again that gender is quite complex. From what I've gathered, the vast majority of people on this forum have never had any issues relating to gender. I'm gathering this is why people like Meat Pie are finding the idea that characteristics can be traits of genders offensive. For example, nurturing is seen as a feminine trait whereas independence is seen to be male. Obviously, this is bullshit - you can get men who are dependant, emotional and passive. You can get women who are aggressive, competitive and strong. All men will have some 'so-called' feminine traits and all women will have some 'so-called' masculine traits. Lots of different cultures attribute different traits to different genders.
So it can be accepted that having certain traits does not make you one gender or another. So what does? Is it the way you express yourself? Again...no. Liking pink does not make you female, and liking blue does not make you male. Over 100 years ago, pink was the colour for boys and blue was the colour for girls! Having certain interests or a certain style doesn't make you that gender either. In the modern world, we see butch women who present themselves in quite a stereotypical masculine way for example.
So where does somebody like me fit in? As I've mentioned countless times, I identify as a woman. But I'm not a woman because I share some personality traits that our society has deemed feminine. I'm not a woman because I like feminine 'things' either. Charles Kane, a millionaire who rushed into having GRS after being misdiagnosed with gender dysphoria, once claimed that he didn't think he was a woman because he hated shopping. That means nothing - plenty of women hate shopping, just as plenty of men love it.
But society does play a major part in gender identity. We are social animals - this is how we interact with each other. I dress in a feminine way, I act in a feminine way and so on. But then, I could do all these things, still identify as a male, and therefore still be a man.
So, what makes me a woman? It's simply the feeling inside of me. It's the knowledge that this is who I am.
Growing up, I always identified with what society had perceived to be feminine. I saw two gender binaries that were present and identified with one that was not assigned to me at birth. I developed a dysphoria because I didn't match up with the way I saw myself. This is why I have transitioned to female. In the simplest terms, whether you like this answer or not, this is why people like me exist.
Having a particular set of genitals has no bearing on how I identify myself. But I must also stress that I am also going through a physical transition too. I have been taking oestrogen pills and will be having GRS later this year. This is all to make the physical part of me, my sex, match the mental part of me, my gender.
In a hypothetical world where gender didn't exist, I would still be the exact same person I am now. I'd still wear feminine things, present in a feminine way and even medically transition to be female.
I need to stress, again, that there are more gender identities than just male and female. Different societies have many more - some as many as five! There are also gender neutral and genderqueer people.
You may think gender equals sex because for you, there is no discrepancy between the two. But because I do, I have cause to question it. Gender politics is by complicated, so I understand if you don't understand. I'll leave you with one last statement:
I'm female because I identify with what I perceive to be female.
