• ℹ️ Heads up...

    This is a popular topic that is fast moving Guest - before posting, please ensure that you check out the first post in the topic for a quick reminder of guidelines, and importantly a summary of the known facts and information so far. Thanks.

Stargazing Pods

I'm not entirely sure what else they can do other than throw some cheap tacky stickers/vinyls or fake branches over the top of them. Standing in one today has unleashed a whole level of frustration I've been keeping building up inside, but this needs to be said.

They are tiny. Four adults can just about stand in the walkway at a squeeze. The double bed occupies the entire space at the back of the pod; there is no room to manoeuvre around it and you will struggle to sleep in it if you're over 6ft. You're also going to need to either be in a relationship or incredibly close to someone in that bed, as it is certainly claustrophobic. Should you be the poor soul sleeping up against the back wall, you're going to want to ensure you've been to the toilet before you get into bed because you're sure as hell going to be waking everyone up otherwise.

We also visited the construction site after park close. I'm concerned that some of the pods at the very back of the site, near the car park are going to be facing the back of some of the other pods which leaves for a very poor view out of the limited window/door space. The doors also only have traditional key locks rather than anywhere for key cards. Whether or not they'll be retrofitted on is a question for the future.

For the £238 price tag I sourced through Merlin Holiday Club, they can well and truly jog on with these god awful things. Mercifully people are finally cottoning on via social media that the park appear to be rushing to get to 1000 keys as soon as possible rather than making much needed investment on the theme park. Twirling Toadstool is currently lying in rotting pieces behind a tacky wall under the atrocious guise of 'TLC'. Cloud Cuckoo Land's atmosphere is as dead as a dodo, and all we're getting to show for it next year is an unimaginatively plonked midway. The number of graveyards of deceased attractions continues to grow with no replacements and will continue to do so next year. The theme park is slipping down the rabbit hole of dilapidation all whilst the resort side is continuously and needlessly invested in.

The theme park desperately needs to be brought back up to standards before any more ridiculous accommodation offers are considered. I've said it before and I'll say it again until I inevitably reach my last breathe. How can they justify these poxy B&Q clearance sale items when they can't even sustain full capacity in one of their hotels which results in it being shut for 3/4 of the year?

Nick Varney. Ian Crabbe. Any other form of management who may so be happening to read this. I have only one thing to say to you.

I hope these pods fail. Miserably.
 
Last edited:
The sauna part of the pods is free ...... In the hot summer months.

Anyways reading about these again tonight I'm really concerned that the entertainment and evening meal offerings only mention Alton towers hotel. Nothing about splash landings. Nothing about the crooked spoon.

So given these restaurants and bars are already rammed how the hell are they going to accommodate more people from yet another hotel. You'll have people in ATH who have paid a lot of money for the premium hotel.... Only to be unable to get a seat in the restaurant and bar areas, yet alone the queues for a drink. .....

And it also suggests splash and enchanted village are closed next year which, I don't believe. If anything Alton are hiding them at the moment to try and get people to book their new sheds.

I never thought I'd say this in all my years of going to Alton but I doubt I'll ever stay there again unless they seriously sort things out .
 
By 'not finished' I assume they're waiting for people to comment 'does it have ____', which, if cheap, will get put on the to do list

I'm sure they'll get one of those floor vinyls with a picture of a nice rug printed on it yet, maybe some adverts stuck to the side walls

Can you still get those glow in the dark stick-on stars? That'd really complete the package
 
These are atrocious in every way.

Tripsdrill can show us how to do great fun but practical budget accommodation with their quirky wagons. Would be almost no more cost or effort to towers than what they are doing, but clearly effort is not something they are willing to put in.
 
Imagine a hot, muggy, summers night theres no air con so you're hot. You're starving because there was no where to get food. Your neck aches because you cant stand up properly there.
You've called it a night because the park closed at 6pm and theres been nothing to do since.

Then someone farts in your family sized coffin and you are trapped. Questioning your entire life choices.
 
It's going to be the world's first theme park accomodation dedicated to stargazing. TBH I don't think Merlin even know how they're going to decorate the pods yet. I can just picture at MMM HQ, the creatives are feeling pretty clueless on how to make it look less like a claustrophobic garden shed.
 
Ben said:
Imagine a hot, muggy, summers night theres no air con so you're hot. You're starving because there was no where to get food. Your neck aches because you cant stand up properly there.
You've called it a night because the park closed at 6pm and theres been nothing to do since.

Then someone farts in your family sized coffin and you are trapped. Questioning your entire life choices.
Click to expand...
To be fair, a farting compeition could pass as "entertainment".....
 
I actually don't mind the wooden interior but they clearly weren't bothered about theme and went for the cheapest option.

They could have done some nice little things to add some theme such as the shelving, the shape of the back window and the light fittings.

I hope they don't plaster it with vinyl on the inside as that would look really bad.

It's a shame that the Stargazing bit came after the idea to build the sheds as they could have done some sort of see through roof.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top