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The I Feel Down Topic.

I know my local young farmers and they are not people I want to associate with frankly as they are all posh toffs with their tractors who think they are way better than anyone else. I don't own a horse, don't have a tractors license, the only thing I have to do with a farm is that my house is built on a old piece of farmland. I went to secondary school with most of the young farmers round here that didn't have quite enough money to send their kids to private school and our secondary was pretty decent, I was never welcomed by them at school in fact I was bullied by many of them so yet another reason I don't want to join YFC.
 
Well everything is f**cked up and going well and truly down the sh*tter.

Merry 2nd of f**king January everyone. Time to let go of this pent up anger and go and find something angrier than me which will be some music. I hope.
 
I hate the loneliness that pretty much everyday brings. For well over 4 years now, if I'm not at a theme park, school or dragged out by my 'friends', then I spend my day in a dark room doing nothing. It's not all bad, whenever I usually go out around here I wish I was home. It's like a cycle.

I seem to only have about 5 friends around here now, but none that I talk to on a regular basis. My old 'friends' thought that just blanking me (sorry, giving me some 'space') would be a great idea. Suddenly when I start pointing this out, I've apparently pushed them away. Doesn't take a genius to find out that they're still bitching about me. It doesn't bother me as such as I have much better friends than them, it's just that these are the very same people who promised that they would always be there for me not matter what blahhdy blah.
If all this bitching isn't bad enough, I massively struggle to cope at school. Even just walking into the classroom with people staring and whispering makes me want to just run away forever. It gets worse as my old best friend is an absolute bitch so she tells everyone that what's happening to me is rubbish. This is why I never told her anything, even when she kicked off big time about it.
I want to go to school. I never missed a day for years. I just can't handle all the anxieties kicking off again and delusions hitting me. I'm aware it's all in my head, but it's not. No one understands, so Im just called a weak/pathetic/attention seeking emo bitch. If I don't go to school several times a week, then I'm constantly being threatened to be sent to this other place with people I don't know and don't want to know.

I hate everything so much. There is so much hatred and anger built up inside me that whenever I show any sign of it, I'm rushed back to hospital/doctors/councilling as I'm sick. I'm not sick, I'm scared.
 
Georgia, if it makes you feel any better, then you're not the only one who suffers from your problems.

Back at my old school, I had friends, they treated me well and I treated them well back, we had laughs and stuff like that. However apart from that, I wasn't a really sociable person. I tend to stay quiet whilst I was in a group with my friends, plus everyone did all this cool but I didn't tag along with them, it made me feel really lonely. I spent almost every free day I had just sitting around on my laptop in a dark room, it was depressing. It was even worse before I joined TTF back in October 2011.

Georgia, you're not weak and pathetic, and you have to remember this to yourself; would you rather have 5 friends which treat you like friends, or have loads of fake ones?

Not the best advice out there, but I'm just trying to help =)
 
Need I say anymore about the awful outbreak of Comic Sans on to the forums! ???
 
Georgia, For a time at school i thought i had paranoid. turns out i did not.
I read your post and see the links with my school days. you are not alone with these problems, and you are not not weak and pathetic.

I would share more about my views on mental bullying here, but it is unsuitable for an open forum.
 
I feel anxious. I dunno. Anxious anxious anxious. I'm acutely aware of every part of myself, every tiny element of me that people see. Nervous nervous nervous. Can't sit still. Restless. Constantly moving around. I wish I could do something but I can't. Anxious anxious anxious. What do you think of me? Anxious. I could be a different person. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. Twitchy, jumpy, anxious.
 
Had a rustlers burger when I got back from work :(

But it gets worse! Turns out my fridge has broke, so I've had something which is meant to be refrigerated but it wasn't. My housemates decided not to tell me for some reason, and have been keeping their refrigerated food outside (where it's cold and may be eaten by foxes).

I've made myself throw up, as I'm hoping that might minimize my risk of getting food poisoning :(
 
Off to the hospital today for even more counselling really am not looking forward to this one, I have sort of been forced to take my friend with as she knows that I have not been telling the truth about how it is all effecting me so really not in the best of moods :(. Sat he right now filling in all the paper and diary's and stuff.

How are you meant to know when something started when you are not sure about it yourself, I feel lost in my own world and feel like I am in daze on certain days. I have at work someday's and my boss has asked me to do the most simple task and I am like I don't understand and feel like just breaking down which I did in my driving lesson last week.
 
Seems like your in a bad place. I'm no expert , but with counseling and with support from people around you, I'm sure things will get better. I'm sure most people on here are only to willing to help where possible. Keep your head up and stay strong :)

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
 
Everything is so annoying right now!

It is still the Christmas holidays for me and I am bored out of my brain almost everyday just wanting to do something but when I try I always just think whats the point? and return to my computer or television. It is so depressing! Also I am constantly worried about going back to school in case something bad happens or I do something stupid to upset my friends which seems to be happening too much at the moment. My parents want me to go outside and hang out with some of our neighbours which are normally pretty mean to me ( they once held my head underwater at a pool )and are almost the exact opposite of me so I can never do the things they want to do due to the fact that I would rather chat then be athletic. I have tried playing my guitar which is one of my favourite things to do but it is out of tune and I can't tune it myself. Everything just becomes a collective ball of annoyance and depression and I just want everything back to normal!
 
<disclaimer> this isn't a pleading post, I just need to get a few things off my chest </disclaimer>

I feel down. I'm so socially inept that something like a party in my own house with a few close friends, which should have been great fun, turned into a rather stressful experience.

I seem to lack the basic skills form and continue a meaningful discussion with anybody.
I feel lonely because people don't usually talk to me, instead they talk to Josh, but then realise that people don't talk to me because I don't talk to them.

I don't talk to people because of the feeling that people don't actually like me and don't really want to be friends. This and the previous point turn into one of those vicious circles that continue forever.
 
Dar said:
<disclaimer> this isn't a pleading post, I just need to get a few things off my chest </disclaimer>

I don't talk to people because of the feeling that people don't actually like me and don't really want to be friends. This and the previous point turn into one of those vicious circles that continue forever.
Click to expand...

People do like you! I haven't heard a single person say this dislike you and have heard people say that they do like you! I have atrocious communication skills and do find it hard to talk to others. I will be honest and find waiting for everyone in Splash a hugely stressful thing as I can recognise TSTers but will have probably forgotten names or find it hard to approach them (Don't worry, you are an approachable bunch, it is my mentality not you being unapproachable!)

I force myself to speak to TSTers....and it feels good speaking to them! Every person I have met on meets have been friendly. Everyone who can remember Feb H/T meet on that cold saturday will remember I didn't speak much to begin with until I forced myself to midway through the meet. Sure it usually isn't too meaningful, but it can be.

It may sound harsh but FORCE yourself to speak to others.....it is bloody hard to do (I know from experience) but then when you do so, you can break the cycle! Obviously not much is meaningful to begin with but it does improve with time. And after you begin to converse more with others, you pickup on how to form and hold meaningful conversations with others.

I am (under this exterior that I have) an extremely self-doubting and non-conversational person. I do not doubt for one second that you are trying to be a better conversationalist and that is good, keep the trying spirit! You have to push beyond the boundaries and further to break the negative feelings and indeed to try and start conversations, not fearing being pushed away.

I really hope your 'inner Dar' comes out through conversations with others and you can show how much of a wonderful person you (probably) are underneath the exterior.

I wish you the best of luck :)
 
BigDave said:
Seems like your in a bad place. I'm no expert , but with counseling and with support from people around you, I'm sure things will get better. I'm sure most people on here are only to willing to help where possible. Keep your head up and stay strong :)

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
Click to expand...

I can say after todays session i feel a lot better and i had finally got a start day for treatment :)
 
Hmmm...2012...the year that seems to have been the best year of many people's lives according to my fb feed. For me it was the year I had two miscarriages and was hugely let down by a friend who I thought would always be there for me. Finding it a bit hard to drag myself out of the downward spiral at the moment. Hate having to be strong and smile but life goes on and you just have to deal with things I suppose, it's just hard looking out at other people's seemingly perfect lives when your own is going completely tits up, for want of a better phrase!
 
Dar said:
<disclaimer> this isn't a pleading post, I just need to get a few things off my chest </disclaimer>

I feel down. I'm so socially inept that something like a party in my own house with a few close friends, which should have been great fun, turned into a rather stressful experience.

I seem to lack the basic skills form and continue a meaningful discussion with anybody.
I feel lonely because people don't usually talk to me, instead they talk to Josh, but then realise that people don't talk to me because I don't talk to them.

I don't talk to people because of the feeling that people don't actually like me and don't really want to be friends. This and the previous point turn into one of those vicious circles that continue forever.
Click to expand...

I know exactly how you feel mate, I also have trouble making conversation with people, and given the choice I'm sure they'd rather speak to Ellie than me.

You are a nice person though, and good fun to talk to. The reason I probably haven't spoken to you very much is because I'm too afraid to start a conversation with anyone myself.
 
I'll have both of you sexy mo fo's round for some good verbal chat!

You guys have nothing to worry about - I think you're both just fab :)

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
 
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