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ℹ️ Heads up...
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Had conditional offers from all 5 universities that I applied to. There's a lot of hard work to come but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I have a proper incentive to get stuck into revision. Now I just need to decide between York, Manchester, Newcastle and Salford and make a good job of finishing the IB.
In 6 days I am jetting off to Charles de Gaulle airport for 3 nights at Disneyland Paris and then speeding to Strasbourg on the TGV for 4 nights at Europa-Park, where we'll celebrate the New Year in style!
"I feel happy" is maybe a bit strong, but we don't have an "I'm starting to feel a bit better" topic so...
I've been really unwell since about June/July. Anxiety has become so severe that it's tipped over into depression, so bad that I've had suicidal thoughts on quite a few occasions. I've been a mess. I've not been a functioning human being. I've been unable to maintain social relationships, meaning that minor disagreements/niggles have turned into huge issues and I've lost friends and put huge pressure on close relationships. I've been off work for the majority of the past four months, and feel awful about the effects on my husband and family.
But...I don't know whether it's that my meds have finally reached a level where they are having an effect, hormones settling down, other factors...I really don't know, but I feel like the fog is finally starting to lift a bit. I'm not stupid enough to think that it's over, and I know there are going to be difficult times. But I just feel better. I can see things more clearly, have gained some perspective, and the fact that I've even reached the point where I can write this post, means a huge amount. I hate that there are lasting effects from the past few months, but I'm learning to accept that and it's nice.
I've just saved £211 on my car insurance. This makes me happy for two reasons:
1. Obviously, it saves me money. Actually almost half the original renewal quote! Because I am female and getting on a bit, my insurance is now nice and cheap
2. I had to use the phone to achieve this. I know it's a tiny thing to most people, but I avoid using the phone if at all possible. The fact that I actually did it rather than shoving the renewal letter away and ignoring it until it was too late, is a real sign that I'm getting better
Im happy Im rowing again. I really enjoy it, even the circuit training and 1 day off doing sport. I enjoy getting fitter! means I can walk further around parks= more rides/more fun
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