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The Sinking Ship: (Un)Love Letters to Merlin

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That is their address, it is a bit of a meh affair though their HQ, look how miserable it made me (Also The Smiler wasn't open at this time in 2013 :p )

de1edcde86b6434f8965fccb24a5b576.png
 
Chessington is an utter state right now. I used to love it, and I really try my hardest to continue too, but it's changed so much that it's a stranger too me.
Bubbleworks was probably the final straw for me.

There was this wonderful interview I read sometime around 2000 (I think...) that said Chessington would likely ditch the zoo by 2010. And I feel like, had this been the case, the park would be doing better.

I just hate the way Chessington has turned into an an animal educational park in recent years. I admit that the move is commendable, but it still irks me. The reason I go to theme parks is to escape reality. I want to be taken away to somewhere magical. And I sorely miss the likes of Toy Town, and soon to be Transylvania.
 
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@Hairobics - unless you share a house with a bunch of zoo animals (or similarly, live in a queue line at Thorpe park) - it's a fairly different experience than everyday life. I think it had to down the route it had to, for a lot of reasons. I agree it's the weakest of the three - but for me, that's down to the target audience - a target audience that is almost impossible to shift unless you want to compete with your own product at Thorpe.

Imagine how dated Town Town would look now. Beanoland too.
 
Toy Town was outdated in the 90s, let alone whatever year it got spited...

Same for Beanoland, especially as a lot of effects/shows were removed over the years...

Wild Asia is a decent enough area, if a tad grey and brown...
 
It's entirely subjective I supppse. However, for me, the out datedness was part of the charm. I understand that flashy and new brings in customers -- albeit fickle ones, but there's something about the old days that I miss.
Theme parks are no place for old men.
 
Watch it Hairobics, I'm one of many old gits who still do theme parks.
We may not be a target group, but the park owners are still more than happy to take my money.
And I'm proud to say I still have all my hair and teeth, (even if my hair ain't as impressive as yours), unlike some of the younger people on here!
 
Haha. Sorry for the offend, but I was actually referring to myself.
The older I get, the more I pine for the parks of yesteryear. Such is life. :(
 
No offence taken...I miss Southport Pleasureland Funhouse and Cyclone, Morecambe Frontierland, Bellevue in Manchester, and Camelot in sunny Chorley, but most of all, I miss the Reel at Blackpool.
Didn't realise how many parks have closed after I have visited...maybe it was all my fault.
 
One thing that is quite staggering is the appalling performance of the marketing of Merlin theme parks more widely and the rides delivered by Magic Making.

Battle Galleons: Nobody rides it.
Sub Terra: Mothballed
Ice Age 4D: Closed
Spider Crabs: Died
Saw Alive: Closed most of the year
Swarm: Completely failed to increase guest figure
I'm a Celeb: Closed
DBGT: Ridiculous costs for the return
Madagsacar Live: Gone
Krake Lebt / Krake Lebt Kids: Gone

All of the above are failures!? Hopefully TP can turn DBGT around but still...
 
AsGtroDan said:
Battle Galleons: Nobody rides it.
Sub Terra: Mothballed
Ice Age 4D: Closed
Spider Crabs: Died
Saw Alive: Closed most of the year
Swarm: Completely failed to increase guest figure
I'm a Celeb: Closed
DBGT: Ridiculous costs for the return
Madagsacar Live: Gone
Krake Lebt / Krake Lebt Kids: Gone
Click to expand...
What about Galactica... That will be gone soon.

Merlin can't make an attraction without the following:
  • It having 'teething problems'
  • Not thinking about it's long-term future whilst planning
It's all part of the Merlin Way.
 
Every time I come on here I'm worried that this thread will have been renamed 'The Sunken Ship...'

If the Madagascar Show is replaced with a new show then I think Chessington get a pass on that one, as with a theatre (all be it an open air one) there's nothing wrong with replacing the show every few years. They'd already replaced 'Prepare to Party'. If Ice Age 4D had been replaced with a new film then I'd say the same thing. Then again you could throw in Zufari's pre-show as another 'attraction' that didn't last for long. I do agree that there has been a worrying trend for Merlin parks to add attractions with very short shelf lives.

Most parks have had a few rides that didn't last long, for example Drayton Manor had Excalibur and even Disney have had some (Rocket Rods). Fifth Dimension could be included in there. Charlie lasted for as long as Toyland Tours and Duel has been around longer than the original Haunted House was. But Merlin do seem to have had a lot of them, and a lot of these attractions have been mothballed rather than turned into something else. I wonder how long the IP lasts on Saw The Ride. It's actually my favourite ride at Thorpe Park, closely followed by Inferno, but if that loses its IP in a couple of years, will they retheme it properly or will it end up looking like something out of a Six Flags park?
 
I've thought before that this effect is in part due to Merlin and the Dungeons. The Dungeon attractions have high staffing costs but they are priced for that agains the amount of time per guest. So when they created attraction such as I'm a Celeb I wonder if Merlin top management sort of thought that as Dungeons can make a staff led attraction work a theme park can, without thinking through the different overall cost base.
 
Bert2theSpark said:
What about Galactica... That will be gone soon.

Merlin can't make an attraction without the following:
  • It having 'teething problems'
  • Not thinking about it's long-term future whilst planning
It's all part of the Merlin Way.
Click to expand...


To be fair DBGT is combining a lot of cutting edge tech, Dollywood had major headaches too with Lightning Rod for the same reason.

PJ


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
 
So I've only just heard that Ice Age 4D at Towers is now finished and removed.

While I didn't love the attraction, I did think it was nice and a great addition to the Towers line up, but most disappointingly this is ANOTHER very recent Merlin attraction at one of their parks which is has been shut down. They're just throwing money away building new stuff with an extremely short lifespan.
 
Funcone said:
Most parks have had a few rides that didn't last long, for example Drayton Manor had Excalibur and even Disney have had some (Rocket Rods). Fifth Dimension could be included in there. Charlie lasted for as long as Toyland Tours and Duel has been around longer than the original Haunted House was.
Click to expand...

Parks used to want to evolve with new ideas. Great attractions used to last a fine 10 years or so, then be redesigned. It was considered a necessity to keep coming up with good ideas and keep rides looking at their best. The 5th Dimension had problems so lasted shorter, and ran off analogue technology which fundamentally became obsolete. But at the time, attractions were not expected to last longer than 10 years or so, since they entertain millions of people per year anyway.

However the parks stagnated so much, that now older rides are kept in a limbo of being broken down and old looking for years on end. This was not the case before, either they'd be redesigned with the next fun creative challenge, or they'd be restored properly to continue being entertaining. In an ideal world, you'd be able to keep all the old attractions alongside the new ones (if they were considered classics), but the space is not there in the UK to do that.

10 years was a long time for a dark ride to stay that same in those days. Even older attractions like Around The World were always being adapted (by their original designers) and having scenes added to keep them surprising. It was a very different approach they had back then.

So that is why, for example, we now have Duel lasting a lot longer than the Haunted House, despite Duel being in a horrendous state and very tacky compared to the original Haunted House. Or even look at Tomb Blaster, a very boring soulless ride, has lasted by far longer than Terror Tomb which was still very entertaining when I rode it in its final year. Parks just don't spend money on properly redeveloping attractions anymore. And that ideally means gutting an attraction after its good run of 10 years, and putting in a totally new design, not just cheaply repainting what was there before.


Hairobics said:
It's entirely subjective I supppse. However, for me, the out datedness was part of the charm. I understand that flashy and new brings in customers -- albeit fickle ones, but there's something about the old days that I miss.
Theme parks are no place for old men.
Click to expand...

I also loved the rides you're talking about, but to be honest I don't agree with this idea of nostalgia. Those attractions you mention were great fun, they were often brilliantly designed and surprising too, but they weren't sentimental - they were immediate and funny.

The whole premise of that attraction style at the time was that it did away with sentimentality and a kitsch datedness in the UK, and got to the heart of the fun with fun personality and energy. In my memory, Beanoland that you mention was certainly not dated at its best (Dennis The Menace, a really fun imaginative kids animation in its day, was always on TV then) and its charm was kind of modern-retro, but not nostalgic. It only looked that way in its final years because of how broken down it became, after the IP had stopped being popular (this is the big problem with IP themes anyway).

It was just gutsy fun, and I think people forget this looking back, those attractions were the opposite of sentimentality. No one wants to design something to be sentimentally-appealing and dated.

Prof Burp's BubbleWorks too had a beautiful retro charm, but it wasn't done to be nostalgic, it was because it suited the theme perfectly and the ride was anything but sentimental! It was a very spontaneous, energetic family ride. Yet, looking back, a lot of enthusiasts seem to remember the ride as some kind of cutesy thing from a simpler time, which it really wasn't, it was a lot more creative and fun than that. I think attractions should aspire to be bold and energetic like that again in the future . :)
 
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@electricBill I didn't think it was out dated. I was just quoting someone else. I thought they were loverly. :p

Seriously though. What I would give to go on the original bubbleworks, or to take a stroll through the 90's era of the park again. I know some will say I'm looking at the past through rose tinted glasses, but I'm really not.

I understand that, at face value, Bubbleworks probably sounds like it would appeal to people less than something else might, *cough*Gruffalo*cough* but I'm so sick and tired of parks not using their own ideas.

I loved Chessington for all of its characters. It gave the place life, and a reason to go there. If every ride was an already established IP, it'd just feel soulless and empty to me.
 
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