Re: [The Smiler] Ride Reviews (Spoilers!)
God, where to start. This ride is nothing short of incredible. It really is worthy of a place in Alton's top coasters. For me it beats off all the other coasters to be top dog, hands down.
The queueline, no mater how horrific it may look, actually wasn't anywhere near as bad as I was expecting. Even with a train down the line is very similar to those of Th13teen or Duel, where you always seem to be moving forward. For me, this makes up for any shortcomings in throughput, as the constant feeling of progression really offsets any long periods of time.
The interaction between the ride and the queueline is incredible. The track comes so low if you jumped up with an arm stretched you'd probably be able to grab it (Where it not for the meshing
)! When those trains are thundering around it the experience is just priceless.
Up close you really appreciate how huge the Marmaliser and ride in general are. It's a monster of a coaster, which makes the likes of Rita look like a Go-Gator if you ask me
When the queue takes you up by the first lift you really get a sense of how high this ride is. Both lift hills are gigantic, with drops to match.
As well as the trains and ride the Marmaliser and queueline screens provide some entertainment to pass the time. I really like the use of LED boards as oppose to standard TV screens. They are much better suited to the ride, and far more effective. In particular the screen before entering the indoor queueline is quite amusing. Side effects of the process apparently include, fat eyes, limp wrists, uncontrollable drooling, and hair loss, to name but a few
Once inside the station building you enter a darkened room in which several pieces of projection mapping take place. I'll be honest, I wasn't really blown away by this. Don't get me wrong, it looks alright, and it makes nice theming, but it does sort of feel a bit there for the sake of it. Maybe with a couple more bits adding it could set it off. Not even projection mapping, just a couple of static props. Either way though it's still not badly done, and it's by no means a poor part of the ride.
The baggage hold seems to be well positioned, unlike another coaster a bit further up the park *glares at Th13teen*
It feels much less of a free-for-all, and the queueline is clearly well thought out here. In this room there's also the random paint rollers on the roof! I'm not sure what exactly these are meant to mean, but I like to think that's a bit of an ironic poke at the ride itself as if to say "Yeah, we're still only just finishing it...". I did laugh when I saw it
The station itself is really quite unusual if you ask me. It has room for two trains to be parked up at once, but only one train is on and off loaded at a time. Although at least this means you won't get wet in the rain waiting for the station to clear! Inside it's very much like the mockup seen in the game. It's very... White! I see the look they're going for, but personally it might be nice to just break up some of the blank, longer walls with a couple of the yellow pipes or similar.
The trains are very comfortable and roomy, and I really like the basket sort of look they have to them. It's very befitting to the theme. Being quite tall I did find on my first ride that it can press on the shoulders a bit if locked too tightly. However, just leaving it at a slightly higher level on the following ride seemed to solve this. The OTSR's are really quite comfortable, and the pads either side of the head are very soft and spongy (Not that this ride needs them).
I really like the dispatch sequence. It's very simple in that it's just some sound effects and a few bight lights (Seemingly inspired by those seen in operating theatres) suddenly flash on, illuminating the train as it moves off. But it works! It's proof that in some cases you don't need some fancy pants, all singing, all dancing effects to have an impact. Simple, but effective.
Now that first drop is brilliant. It's a lot higher than I expected, and the trains being so agile it really belts down it before hurling you into that first roll. This element is taken at the perfect speed if you ask me, providing a brilliant mix of speed, whilst offering some serious hang time. Upon approaching the first lift some nice lighting effects take place, which again, are reasonably simple, but very effective. And the audio? My god it's loud! Even with my hearing loss it's still deafening
The whole thing provides a nice interval while the lift hill readies itself for the train, and it's much more fun than just sitting in the dark.
After a smooth but slow assent it's time for The Smiler to show you what it's made of, and my word it doesn't disappoint! No sooner has the back row cleared the lift the ride hurtles down the first dip. If the timing is right this is a really nice duelling point, as both trains glide past each other in opposite directions.
From here it's a fast paced, forceful ride, with some very snappy transitions. However, it manages to negotiate all the elements without the slightest hint of roughness. Yes, it rattles a little, but this is only really noticeable on the back rows, and it's still far from unpleasant. If anything it adds to the thrill of the ride.
Personally, I found that the ride is so fast paced you don't have time to take in The Marmaliser or its elements really, aside from The Flasher, which offerers a serious head-chopper moment, before the train ducks out of the way, just in the nick of time!
After what feels long enough to be a coaster in its own rights the train rushes into the MCBR before the vertical climb. Here the train parks itself up waiting for the lift, and some simple video and audio effects take place. Be warned however; If you are on the front row of the train you won't be able to see the video, as the train parks itself with the front row directly under the gantry the screens are mounted on.
After a short pause at the halfway point the train inches forwards, and begins to climb skyward! This for me is one of the most intense parts! The train moves along incredibly slowly, and all this time you can't help but think that several tonnes of steel and riders shouldn't be traveling straight up in this fashion!
What feels like a lifetime later the train levels out, and it's all go once more! Once again, all the elements are handled remarkably well all things considered, and the airtime hill in the second half of the ride really cannot go unmentioned. The force that the train dives down after this is out of this world! It really grabs you and drags you down there. i can't think of any ride I have experienced which offers such a punch of force like this.
After a while the train once again hits a brake run, this time the final one, and comes smoothly to a halt. The overall ride is incredibly long, and the fact all of this is crammed into such a small space is phenomenal. It feels more like two coasters bolted together than one big one!
The ride itself as I said early is really quite comfortable. Sure, it's not quite butter smooth like Air or Th13teen, but it's damn close to it. The ride does make some very quick and snappy transitions, but they are done how they should be. As a result there's no discomfort what-so-ever, and it's a very pleasant ride. A little vibration, which is certainly more noticeable on the back rows, but nothing detrimental to the overall experience.
Once back inside and out of the train it's time to ascend the
GAY Rainbow Stairs! This is where The Smiler really sets itself apart from many other rides, including Alton's top acts. 99% of rides you get off of the main attraction and just walk out into the park really, with no really conclusion as it were. Personally, I do find this a bit annoying, especially with rides which spend the rest of their time really building up the story and plot (A seemingly common trait in Madhouses especially). The Smiler changes that!
Upon entering the exit route there is a very different feel to the attraction. The sinister audio is replaced with a happy, upbeat rendition. The dark blacks and harsh whites become more vibrant colours forming friendly, welcoming patterns. It's essentially the opposite of everything else in the ride! Which, of course, is what Marmalisation aims to do! This conclusion to the ride really makes it feel complete, and it brings the whole experience to a nice and neat end.
After collecting any belongings from the baggage return you them make your way down the twisting exit corridor, where several animated, projected Mr Twirly's and other tranquil patterns grace the walls. The ride still has one or two little tricks up its sleeve though, such as fake corridors for example, just to throw some final disorienting elements into the ride.
So all in all? A real world class attraction. It's everything a true Towers ride should be! It's unique, it's grand, it's detailed, it's over the top, it's camp, it's crazy. It's everything which makes Alton Towers, Alton Towers! I for one am over the moon with the ride. It really is the complete package, and shows that although we might not realise it, the magic of Alton Towers lives on. It's a real exhibition of both park and Studios minds and designers at their finest. Congratulations to all those involved on delivering a true world class ride. It's paid off! It's taken a long time to get to this point, and it's certainly been a bumpy road, but it was all worth it in the end
SW8 is going to have a lot to live up to!
SMILE. FOREVER
