Let's see...
Flats:
Vortex is not intense, it hardly spins at all.
Quantum is a nice dose of family friendly airtime, but nothing special.
Rush can give an amazing ride and is probably the best flat there. It's the playground swing you always dreamed of.
Samurai is probably best avoided, it's a poor shadow of it's former self, and just turns you over and over in a rather boring and unpleasant way.
Slammer is a Marmite ride, some love it, some hate it. I find it uncomfortable.
Zodiac is an Enterprise; if you've done one, you've done them all.
Mr Monkey's Banana Boat is a small, not very exciting swinging ship. If you want to swing, go on Rush.
Coasters:
Colossus will beat you unconcious. Rough, painful and vile.
Saw is a really good layout, and the indoor section at the start is worth queueing for alone. Can be slightly rough but still ridable.
Inferno is good fun, not as intense as Nemesis but still packs a nice punch on a good day.
Swarm forwards is great, with some amazing views and near misses, the first drop packs a nice punch but the rest of the layout feels a bit forceless by comparison. Backwards, it's just wrong in every way and I wouldn't recomend it.
Flying Fish is dull and not worth your time.
X is not as dire as people make it out to be. When the smoke, lights and audio work it can be a nice fun ride.
Other:
Depth Charge is never worth the climb.
The rapids are slow, boring and pointles, and rely on water jets to get you wet.
if they work.
Detonator, I have never been on as I'm not a drop tower fan, but I've heard it's a reasonably good one.
Logger's Leap
is was a good flume, but that's supposedly closed now.
Storm Surge... No. Just no.
Hope that helps.
