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TST Loo Users... POO-NITE!

It does not feel like a comfortable "home" throne. It's more like something you'd find in a motorway services that's trying to look posh. I hate it. There's no way you can relax on this thing.
 
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Oh yes, @rob666, it's one of those poncy girly seats that takes half an hour to close. Only like I said, it's ******* square. You know how awkward it is to drink from a square glass? Trust me, it's more awkward at the other end.
 
It took FOUR flushes to dispose of what I just did. This so-called toilet is not up to the job!
 
One for @DiogoJ42.

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Does it also record the maximum upwards thrust caused by the Newtonian forces of your shitstream?
 
Then I shall pass, until the day comes when a device is created that allows me to assess if I could achieve orbit through **** power alone.
 
Are you Patrick Smash from the film thunderpants :D

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Never heard of the character of the film, so cannot comment. But damnit, I want to reach escape velocity via anal power alone now!
 
I am surprised that you enjoy a good toilet topic and not heard of that film.
I would not be surprised if you had not watch it as its a mediocre at best.

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Clearly been watching to much South Park.

After certain types of food I occasionally get what's called "Ring Flare." We have all experienced it at some point in our excreting careers.
Symptom consist of a burning/stinging sensation after a visit to the throne. Resisting to itch the area is highly recommended as it can be transferred from hole to cheeks.
 
From personal experience, nothing works better in such circumstances than a carefully placed (external!) ice cube, with a bit of kitchen roll to catch the drips.
I've given up hot curries now though, I have become a bit of a Korma wimp.
 
I swear, the useless flush on my square toilet is getting worse. It took no less than FIVE attempts to do it's job just now. Even then, I had to squirt a load of bleach down there and give it a scrub. Because the flush isn't even capable of flushing away the bleach. If it cannot shift liquids, how is it supposed to shift solids‽
 
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