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The I Feel Down Topic.

I'm not sure why, think it's a combination of things, but my anxiety is awful. I'm on edge, can't relax at all, and I'm interpreting everything negatively, convinced that everybody hates me. Either that, or I'm interpreting everything accurately, and they really do. It's very hard for me to tell the difference right now. Of course, my behaviour changes as a result of this, and I start actually annoying everyone. Work is really difficult at the moment, through a combination of unfortunate circumstances, and that's adding to it all.

I just feel horrible and don't know what to do.
 
Had my final exam this morning, this year at Uni is now done with. Now I'm looking at potentially being expelled for sexual harassment because I called a girl "love" in an argument on Facebook. She's a manipulative nutcase and the University are on her side, and will support her if she goes to the student union about it. I don't get breaks in this life. I have a friend who's sick with cancer and another who recently died of it, I've lost my closest family too so I have to start my life over again from zero. I don't fcuking ask for much.
 
I'm at the breaking point where I almost want to tear one of the most beloved, cherished, memorable and exciting chapters of my life clean out. For the most part, I'd do anything to keep it as aside from TowersStreet and a very small portion of other things, it's one of the biggest elements that's turned my life around and has established a purpose for me. But now, this chapter is tarnished by a great big, whopping coffee stain if you will, that no longer makes the chapter the things I mentioned and something I cringe at looking back on.
 
It's looking more and more likely that I'm going to have to flake on something I said I could do, but now can't, again.

I hate it, I can't help but feel that I've got a reputation for doing it. I hate letting people down and letting myself feel bad because of it, not to mention feeling bad for myself that I can't do it now.
 
Not so much a 'feeling down' post, more 'getting something off my chest'.

Over the past few days, I've been seeing photos on Facebook of people graduating, including those who were on my Law degree before I decided to quit uni (long story) and ended up working at my local supermarket. I'm really enjoying it - I've been there for ten months now - but seeing all these photos has just made me think of what could have happened if I'd been more disciplined, stuck at it and carried on. I'm not overly bothered, as I'm in a much better place than I was 12-18 months ago, but it has upset me a bit. I'm just trying to tell myself that leaving uni and getting a job was the better solution for me, and it seems to be working. Give it a few days, and I'll probably be fine.
 
I finished university but didn't even go to my graduation. I rented the robes so my mum could take some pictures but I didn't upload them to Facebook! I'm glad I finished but it hasn't helped in the slightest getting a job, it's actually held me back at times. Having a degree or being a graduate doesn't define me in any way.

Yes, completing a degree does involve a lot of hard work and they are right to want to celebrate. But - LEAVING university and getting a job is EVEN HARDER. I very nearly left and I don't think it would have done me any harm but it was too difficult to 'disappoint' my parents.

One of the people where I work is fresh out of university and can't even use a photocopier, let alone know what an Excel spreadsheet is, or how to answer the telephone properly. They thought a fax machine somehow physically transported the paper to a different location.

Let the graduates celebrate and then hope they don't fill your Facebook with moans about lack of graduate jobs, the Jobcentre, house shares falling apart, their useless subject, and so on (I'm not saying this is true for all graduates, but my facebook is filled with this stuff, and I was in a similar situation back in 2009)

You're very lucky and have clearly worked hard to get and keep a job, so be proud of that and get on with YOUR life. After graduating I had to temp for two years and even five years on I am still temping. If I had bailed in 2006 with my skills just from college, I might have been able to grab the same opportunity I am in now...and be a permanent member of staff.
 
Jonathan said:
Not so much a 'feeling down' post, more 'getting something off my chest'.

Over the past few days, I've been seeing photos on Facebook of people graduating, including those who were on my Law degree before I decided to quit uni (long story) and ended up working at my local supermarket. I'm really enjoying it - I've been there for ten months now - but seeing all these photos has just made me think of what could have happened if I'd been more disciplined, stuck at it and carried on. I'm not overly bothered, as I'm in a much better place than I was 12-18 months ago, but it has upset me a bit. I'm just trying to tell myself that leaving uni and getting a job was the better solution for me, and it seems to be working. Give it a few days, and I'll probably be fine.
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Important question is; how happy would you have been if you stuck to Uni? You weren't too happy when you made the decision and you had the chance to take a turn for the better. You're now in a pretty decent job (with opportunity for future promotions) and you've seen us lot more often, which I'd say is pretty win. ;)
You'll always be wondering about "what if.."'s but the one to think about is "what if I hadn't made that decision?" You don't need a career to be happy, as you've shown.

Now look back at the times of Scarefest and Fireworks last year, and smile. :D
 
Panda said:
Important question is; how happy would you have been if you stuck to Uni? You weren't too happy when you made the decision and you had the chance to take a turn for the better. You're now in a pretty decent job (with opportunity for future promotions) and you've seen us lot more often, which I'd say is pretty win. ;)
You'll always be wondering about "what if.."'s but the one to think about is "what if I hadn't made that decision?" You don't need a career to be happy, as you've shown.

Now look back at the times of Scarefest and Fireworks last year, and smile. :D
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Well, that's the thing. If I'd stuck with uni, I reckon I'd be much worse off. And it feels good to finally be earning some money and doing something more fulfilling than spending all day sitting on my backside in front of my laptop and TV doing not a lot. :p

And yes. Fireworks last year on my 21st was easily the best UK meet I've ever been on with TST. :D
 
I would argue (as would many others) that even having a degree gives you far better chances of finding a well-paying job straight away. Even if it's not relevant, it shows that you had the perseverance and commitment to see it through, traits that are well respected by employers. I could quit my degree now (which would be a ridiculous waste of everybody's time, money, and effort being that I've just finished my second year) and jump straight into an entry level job and probably get by, but in the "real world" you need much more than that to sustain yourself; rent, utilities, personal bills, food, and travel are far from cheap. I would advise anyone studying for a degree to switch to a course that they enjoy if they don't like the one they originally started studying, rather than trying to stick it out another year and ultimately dropping out. If you drop out without reasonable mitigating circumstances, you might as well tattoo "I am incapable of persevering with challenges" on your forehead.

Jonathan, while it sucks that seeing your ex-peers graduate from University has upset you, it's just a part of life. Life is difficult for everyone who isn't Kim Kardashian or the Sultan of Brunei. We face challenges and difficulties every day, and part of being a human being is learning to overcome them. Sometimes, it's ok to beat yourself up over where you've fallen short because without it you would never improve; being self-gratified 100% of the time does not a better person make.

Take it as a learning experience. Next time around, you could succeed where you previously failed and be able to celebrate your success with people who have likewise worked their butts off.
 
Teaching is a funny old thing.

You spend days, weeks, months getting to know what makes the kids tick, forming those relationships, making them laugh, making them cry, teaching them amazing things, driving forwards progress, sharing things with them and often being a more stable entity than some of their families.

Yet, especially when you teach the final year of a school, all of a sudden, they're off - out of your care and possibly never to be seen by you again. Of course, memories and learning lives on and the impact on some of those children will never be diminished - but for both teacher and pupil - on that day when they leave, it's genuinely one of the most challenging days of the year.

I went through that yesterday, a group of amazing, inspirational children - whom I have taught on two occasions over their years at junior school. And now, like me, they have left for pastures new.

You try to be as professional as possible, but there's no denying that being a teacher really can pull at the heart strings and send even the most hardened individuals blubbing all the way home.

Bless 'em.

:)
 
I've recently joined a new community but as I'm new I'm finding it difficult to get find the confidence to get involved and to talk and message new people. I do have an under lying interest there but as I don't know much about it, it's hard for me to talk about it when everyone seams to know what they are talking about. I recently went to a meet with people local to me but I might have jumped in feet first too quickly. I was looking forward to it all week and although I was nervous, I was excited at the same time. I knew a few people there through other friends so I didn't think I was going to be that bad. When I got there my nerves got the better of me and I went completely quiet and just sat with the people I knew and hardly said anything at all. I haven't really spoken to anyone since and I feel like I should just call it a day and give up and that would be another thing that has been ruined by my lack of confidence. I'm just sick of it getting in the way and my confidence not being there.
 
I've reached that age in life where whenever a female friend "has news", I automaticly assume she is pregnant... and I'm usually right. I feel sorry for these poor deluded people who ruin their lifes with bratlings.
 
I wish I had 'news' but my chances of being able to have kids are very low and I don't have a partner to find out with anyway :(
 
DiogoJ42 said:
I feel sorry for these poor deluded people who ruin their lifes with bratlings.
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Then they get to an age where they want to go to Alton Towers, much to the confusion of their coaster hating mother. and end up understanding and enjoying you love of coaster and Alton Towers.
 
Everything seems to be rushing past me at the moment, everyone I once knew have gone and are living completely separate, distant lives. Many have jobs, new friends and social lives. And I'm sort of left stranded on my own, hardly anybody talks to me anymore, or wants to hang around with me anymore.

Even when somebody does want to hang around with me and I agree to do something with them, I bottle it at the last minute out of a kind of panic. I don't know why, but whatever reason, it needs to change because I may lose the last remaining friends I have left. Maybe it's a confidence issue, I don't know. I think back to two or three years ago, even last year, I had such a varied social life. I knew and spoke to so many people, some of them I thought would be friends with forever, but now they're just shadows of a life I once knew.

I know this may sound really trivial to those with actual problems, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

:)
 
I can only suggest you seek profession help. If your GP surgery has a Nurse that specialises in mental health matters, book an appointment to see them or your GP.
Large changes in your life can lead to depression, not major life stopping straight away, however a slow dripping that start the slide to a dark place.
 
Just feel a bit meh.
Fed up with having to go to work. Today at Tibenham air show went ok. Just about. Sold 7 books which was ok but it would have been handy to sell more. Its proving difficult to get it more widely known outside of Norfolk. Still working at it. It only needs one person who writes or broadcasts nationally and that will help no end.

But yep just feeling meh. I guess it does not help that what is going on in the world just seems to be one steaming pile of shit at the moment.
 
OCD man, getting worse in the run up to exam results. Having to do strange rituals/compulsions all the time is pretty exhausting, from simple things like tapping things to walking around streetlights a certain number till my brain has settled. Yes, this does make me look very random to passers by.

I know that CBT is often an effective treatment for OCD, it hasn't helped me for other problems but I am trying to kind of do the CBT on myself haha, not ideal or probably very good but just trying to reassure myself that my thinking isn't rational can sometimes help. Unfortunately waiting lists for mental health therapies is so long and I'm already on a waiting list for one not related to OCD so that kind of out of the question.

Ah well, hopefully it was improve after results day when anxiety levels decrease.:)
 
jenniferelka said:
OCD man, getting worse in the run up to exam results.
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Ugh, OCD, drives me up the wall. About to embark on a second round of CBT for anxiety, find the OCD chills out a bit when that's in full flow. Meditation helps, mindfulness, or guided - just keep it a grounded relaxation, pressure release meditation. It pretty much works for everyone who will give it the time and patience to practice. Your OCD by all accounts is gearing up - when going through the CBT dealing with other stuff, I said to the therapist the OCD can wait I'll just tackle it a little at a time. Putting pressure on trying to fix it or worrying about it makes it worse. I don't think I'll ever completely get rid of mine, I can't actually imagine not doing it now. It comes in waves with stress, and is definitely "conscious" as I never do it when on autopilot or in a nice Alpha state, that tells me it's not natural and relates directly to what I would call conscious chatter - that's what meditation really helps for me, clears through the mind and calms and quietens it.

Give me a shout if you want some advice on it, otherwise I hope it chills out for you and good luck with your exam results.
 
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