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The "I feel a bit MEH" topic
- Thread starter Dar
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Stuntman707
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- Nemesis
Horrible to hear such negative incidents even with visible disabilities. I like to try and have the same considerations for anyone regardless.
The most awkward thing I find is trying not to be too considerate if that makes sense. I get the impression some people with disabilities really like their independence and don’t want extra help constantly or sympathy from people. (I think I would get sick of it myself) It can be hard to judge so I mainly stick to what any person would do for anyone else without deliberately going out of my way.
I know someone who would actually not choose to walk because using a wheelchair is mostly all they’ve ever known and they’re very happy with the way they live. I completely respect them. I don’t understand in this era, people still have hatred towards certain people. We’re all different and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Don’t judge people you don’t know based on your own single minded opinions. How hard is that?
The most awkward thing I find is trying not to be too considerate if that makes sense. I get the impression some people with disabilities really like their independence and don’t want extra help constantly or sympathy from people. (I think I would get sick of it myself) It can be hard to judge so I mainly stick to what any person would do for anyone else without deliberately going out of my way.
I know someone who would actually not choose to walk because using a wheelchair is mostly all they’ve ever known and they’re very happy with the way they live. I completely respect them. I don’t understand in this era, people still have hatred towards certain people. We’re all different and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Don’t judge people you don’t know based on your own single minded opinions. How hard is that?
speedy
TS Member
I'll admit, I find it hard not to look at, and ask people about their disabilities. But I resist the urge because I'm fed up of people asking questions about mine
Sorry, but I'm fed up with people on social media saying how tough it is to have a hidden disability and how easier it is for people with a visible disability. Unless you are a full time wheelchair user (or have some form visible disability), you will have no idea what it's like.
You can't walk down the street (or simply sit down at a table minding your own business) without someone starring at you, making insensitive comments. We even get abuse when using the disable facilities, despite the fact you can see Jess is using a wheelchair. The list goes on. Some days it can be continuous throughout the day. Surprisingly, we often get abuse and staring from other disable folk who should know better.
You might see Jess' wheelchair, but her disability is still hidden as you won't know what is wrong with her, and the same goes for other visible disabilities.
Please don't look or ask questions, not only is it rude, but you won't be the first or the last person to do so that day. It gets very annoying for the disable person, plus it is an offence as it comes under the hate crime harassment laws.
You don't ask someone wearing glasses or a hearing aid "Whats wrong?"
It is human nature to be curious and wanting to know. I don't tell people whats wrong with Jess for several reasons, for a start, it's her medical condition, it's confidential as it's between Jess, the hospital and myself.
Jess' condition is so rare that as far as we have been told several times over the years and with a recent hospital appointment last week that her medical situation is unique and that there is no one else out there like her that we can be put in touch with for some mutual support.
Because her condition is rare and complex, people just don't get it or want to understand it.
We also come across people that are not her hospital specialist that think that they know better and try and tell us what we should be doing.
The last reason why we don't tell people, is that we soon learn't that the world is full of hypochondriacs, when we used to tell people what was wrong, it was amazing how many people said that they had Jess' condition and that they were able to do all the things that Jess' was unable to do (despite Jess being unique and no one else out there with her medical situation)
One thing we have learn't over the years, is how people behave around Jess, and it is disgusting how people do behave, we simply see them as bullies and they are simply picking on the weak.
speedy
TS Member
Exactly I would never bring it up. Yet I still get questions about being partially sighted. It pisses me off. Sometimes I bring it up and that's fine but it's when people say "oh so your glasses don't correct your eyesight" etc I find that annoying!Sorry, but I'm fed up with people on social media saying how tough it is to have a hidden disability and how easier it is for people with a visible disability. Unless you are a full time wheelchair user (or have some form visible disability), you will have no idea what it's like.
You can't walk down the street (or simply sit down at a table minding your own business) without someone starring at you, making insensitive comments. We even get abuse when using the disable facilities, despite the fact you can see Jess is using a wheelchair. The list goes on. Some days it can be continuous throughout the day. Surprisingly, we often get abuse and staring from other disable folk who should know better.
You might see Jess' wheelchair, but her disability is still hidden as you won't know what is wrong with her, and the same goes for other visible disabilities.
Please don't look or ask questions, not only is it rude, but you won't be the first or the last person to do so that day. It gets very annoying for the disable person, plus it is an offence as it comes under the hate crime harassment laws.
You don't ask someone wearing glasses or a hearing aid "Whats wrong?"
It is human nature to be curious and wanting to know. I don't tell people whats wrong with Jess for several reasons, for a start, it's her medical condition, it's confidential as it's between Jess, the hospital and myself.
Jess' condition is so rare that as far as we have been told several times over the years and with a recent hospital appointment last week that her medical situation is unique and that there is no one else out there like her that we can be put in touch with for some mutual support.
Because her condition is rare and complex, people just don't get it or want to understand it.
We also come across people that are not her hospital specialist that think that they know better and try and tell us what we should be doing.
The last reason why we don't tell people, is that we soon learn't that the world is full of hypochondriacs, when we used to tell people what was wrong, it was amazing how many people said that they had Jess' condition and that they were able to do all the things that Jess' was unable to do (despite Jess being unique and no one else out there with her medical situation)
One thing we have learn't over the years, is how people behave around Jess, and it is disgusting how people do behave, we simply see them as bullies and they are simply picking on the weak.
As for hidden disability vs visible disability can we just all agree that having a disability sucks and it's not a contest? As we all know a hidden disability can still change how you appear and act, which can bring up a whole load of abuse.
@speedy understands the point I was trying to make, comments like "oh your legs work just fine, you can do whatever" or "the spastic queue is over there", I'm sorry if me finding that offensive @RoyJess pisseds you off but as far as I am concerned just because someone has a hidden disability doesn't make them any less disabled than Jess is and doesn't mean the abuse is any less offensive.
Only last week, Jess got called a freak, and it is not uncommon for her to get called names like freak, spastic, or have people comment that she hasn't moved (she needs to be immobilised).
Whether you have a disability or not, even non disable people can get abuse, for example extra tall/short people, people with ginger hair etc... the abuse is not just limited to disable people, and these comment, however harmless they may seem can hurt and be offensive.
Recently there was a very tall guy on the Johnathan Ross show, he carry's around with him business cards which he hands to people as they approach him.
This website dose some lovely communications cards for people with disabilities to educate those ignorance around us
http://stickmancommunications.co.uk/
Sorry, but no two disability are the same, we need to respect that two people with the same disability can be on the different part of the spectrum, some with be more severe than others. No its not a competition and shouldn't be, but trying to put everyone on the same level is not good either as people expect those at the severe end to be able to do the same things as those at the mild end.
It is surprising how many people don't realise that Jess, can weight bear or walk, she often get asked if she can walk.
The bottom line is, don't ask about someone disability or question on what they can or can't do, let the disable person volunteer that info if they wish to, don't stare and don't question someone using the disable facility, even if you suspect or know that they are not disable, it is harassment and illegal.
Whether you have a disability or not, even non disable people can get abuse, for example extra tall/short people, people with ginger hair etc... the abuse is not just limited to disable people, and these comment, however harmless they may seem can hurt and be offensive.
Recently there was a very tall guy on the Johnathan Ross show, he carry's around with him business cards which he hands to people as they approach him.
This website dose some lovely communications cards for people with disabilities to educate those ignorance around us
http://stickmancommunications.co.uk/
Sorry, but no two disability are the same, we need to respect that two people with the same disability can be on the different part of the spectrum, some with be more severe than others. No its not a competition and shouldn't be, but trying to put everyone on the same level is not good either as people expect those at the severe end to be able to do the same things as those at the mild end.
It is surprising how many people don't realise that Jess, can weight bear or walk, she often get asked if she can walk.
The bottom line is, don't ask about someone disability or question on what they can or can't do, let the disable person volunteer that info if they wish to, don't stare and don't question someone using the disable facility, even if you suspect or know that they are not disable, it is harassment and illegal.
I'm not sure why this has escalated as far as it has @RoyJess, all I said was if peole think the abuse the likes of you and Jess have received is bad when the disability is visible, then imagine how bad it can be when the disability is hidden (assuming the target of the abuse is in a disabled line, or using a disabled toilet etc.), it was never about comparing one disability to another or judging how easy or hard a persons life is as a result of having a disability.
I think my response is because of some of the comments above. The bottom line is, whatever your disability is, or even if you don't have one, everyone is entitled to be treated with the same respect regardless. No one should be subject to abuse.
I do fully know how bad things can get with abuse when using a disable toilet or even using a blue badge bay, the presence of a wheelchair or a walking stick don't eradicate the abuse that disable people get. We don't use the disable queue lines as Jess don't go on the rides, but I can only imagine the abuse and looks that you get.
Anyone who dish out abuse, whether its verbal, physical or just a prolong starring, are just simply bullies picking on the weak. We often find its not just the one person, but can sometimes be a group of people ganging up. It just so sad and upsetting to see that we still have people in today's world that behave in this manner.
An it's not just the disable that are on the receiving end of abuse, race, gender, age, sexuality, religion... are also subject to unnecessarily abuse.
I do fully know how bad things can get with abuse when using a disable toilet or even using a blue badge bay, the presence of a wheelchair or a walking stick don't eradicate the abuse that disable people get. We don't use the disable queue lines as Jess don't go on the rides, but I can only imagine the abuse and looks that you get.
Anyone who dish out abuse, whether its verbal, physical or just a prolong starring, are just simply bullies picking on the weak. We often find its not just the one person, but can sometimes be a group of people ganging up. It just so sad and upsetting to see that we still have people in today's world that behave in this manner.
An it's not just the disable that are on the receiving end of abuse, race, gender, age, sexuality, religion... are also subject to unnecessarily abuse.
DiogoJ42
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- The Metropolitan Line
As much as I'd love to go in to detail, I can't on a public forum. But sufice to say there was an unfortunate incident at work this morning, where someone damn near died. (Technically, they WERE dead for at least a few minutes).
I may pride myself on being a heartless bastard, but when it's someone you work with, who is a grade A gent.....
EDIT TO ADD: please don't try to guess, and those of you who know, please keep it to yourself. Thanks.
I may pride myself on being a heartless bastard, but when it's someone you work with, who is a grade A gent.....
EDIT TO ADD: please don't try to guess, and those of you who know, please keep it to yourself. Thanks.
DiogoJ42
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- The Metropolitan Line
Last I heard was that said person was awake and "talking".
The air ambulance was called, which is actually a GOOD thing, because they won't take anyone who isn't "stable", as I am sure you know mate
But yeah, I'm gonna keep it vague, I'm afraid. Sorry! Sure you all understand.
The air ambulance was called, which is actually a GOOD thing, because they won't take anyone who isn't "stable", as I am sure you know mate
But yeah, I'm gonna keep it vague, I'm afraid. Sorry! Sure you all understand.
delta79
TS Member
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- Nemesis, Air
I don't care about it being vague. The persons confidentially is top priority.
I am glad to see this line in your last posting
As this means they are in a good position for the next steps. Be that recuperation at home or medical intervention to sort an underlying issue.
I wish them a good recovery.
Sent from my SM-J320FN using Tapatalk
I am glad to see this line in your last posting
As this means they are in a good position for the next steps. Be that recuperation at home or medical intervention to sort an underlying issue.
I wish them a good recovery.
Sent from my SM-J320FN using Tapatalk
There's not much confidentiality going on unless there's been two people taken ill where you work today because the BBC had it as headline news earlier, but it'll be overshadowed completely now by the helicopter crash at Leicester City FC.
Not gonna be a good day for football people today I'm afraid.
Not gonna be a good day for football people today I'm afraid.
Rojo
TS Member
Eeek. Hope the gentleman makes as a good as recovery as possible. Certainly raise an ale to his recovery when you get chance.
Amazing work by the first responders. To take someone from that state to talking is incredible and shows the gentleman involved is a fighter.
Sounds like you have already got it off your chest in this thread, but if does start effecting you it may be speaking to your HR department to see if they offer a wellbeing service.
Amazing work by the first responders. To take someone from that state to talking is incredible and shows the gentleman involved is a fighter.
Sounds like you have already got it off your chest in this thread, but if does start effecting you it may be speaking to your HR department to see if they offer a wellbeing service.
Skyscraper
TS Member
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- Nemesis
It has now been confirmed that there were no survivors in the Leicester City helicopter tragedy.
My thoughts are with the victims, their families and everyone connected with LCFC at this difficult time.
Rest In Peace.
My thoughts are with the victims, their families and everyone connected with LCFC at this difficult time.
Rest In Peace.
DiogoJ42
TS Member
- Favourite Ride
- The Metropolitan Line
Quite understandably, Saturday was a very dark day for a lot of people I work with. It could have been even worse, were it not for the actions of a single crew member (who has now been publicly named elsewhere, but I shall not do so here).
I'm thick skinned and have a very twisted world view. The two incidents may not have affected me in any serious way personally, but I know a lot of people who are shaken up by them.
For those wondering, BT have said they will extend their offer of councelling to all involved, several hundred people including freelancers, not just staff. Good on them.
(My personal councelling was a large quantity of rum and a night out with friends).
I'm thick skinned and have a very twisted world view. The two incidents may not have affected me in any serious way personally, but I know a lot of people who are shaken up by them.
For those wondering, BT have said they will extend their offer of councelling to all involved, several hundred people including freelancers, not just staff. Good on them.
(My personal councelling was a large quantity of rum and a night out with friends).
Sauron97
TS Member
I'm very sorry to hear it, of course, and it is a truly dreadful thing to happen.
I didn't like how Alan Sugar jumped on it by saying "I'm a fixed wing pilot blah blah blah I hate helicopters. I very reluctantly flew in one for the Apprentice filming." As someone who is quite involved with helicopters and the aviation industry, I don't like people turning this in to a 'helicopters are unsafe' argument, and it does hurt me a little to hear that. I'm aware, from personal experience, that of all vehicles, Helicopters are some of the hardest out there to control due to the fact that they have a tendency to be unstable, or as many a pilot will say 'they don't want to fly', and of all the aspects of flying, over correction of the cyclic whilst trying to hover is certainly one of those problems that takes ages to overcome and if you were thrown in to it with no experience, bad results would happen. That being said, just like with anything that involves muscle memory, once you have learnt it, you can master it and it can become more subconscious. And the odds of something like this happening are very small indeed, which makes it all the more unfortunate. The idea that helicopter flying is inherently dangerous is a complete and utter myth.
I didn't like how Alan Sugar jumped on it by saying "I'm a fixed wing pilot blah blah blah I hate helicopters. I very reluctantly flew in one for the Apprentice filming." As someone who is quite involved with helicopters and the aviation industry, I don't like people turning this in to a 'helicopters are unsafe' argument, and it does hurt me a little to hear that. I'm aware, from personal experience, that of all vehicles, Helicopters are some of the hardest out there to control due to the fact that they have a tendency to be unstable, or as many a pilot will say 'they don't want to fly', and of all the aspects of flying, over correction of the cyclic whilst trying to hover is certainly one of those problems that takes ages to overcome and if you were thrown in to it with no experience, bad results would happen. That being said, just like with anything that involves muscle memory, once you have learnt it, you can master it and it can become more subconscious. And the odds of something like this happening are very small indeed, which makes it all the more unfortunate. The idea that helicopter flying is inherently dangerous is a complete and utter myth.