2015: Alton Towers Enchanted Village

[Dave]

Balance is for fanboys. I have a reputation to uphold.

You know I have a fair bit of friendly affection for you and 4 days stuck in a car with your farts and a scary hotel in Belgium cemented that bond....

.... But call me a "fanboy" again and I will disown you!

Waaayyyy off topic now!

 

[delta79]

They are big wooden boxes delivered on the back of a truck. Sounds like a Portacabin to me.

So holiday inns are just a load of portacabins stuck together with brick walls holding them together. as the rooms are build in Oswestry and are shipped out to site on trucks.

 

[DiogoJ42]

Prefab rooms inserted in to a building are one thing. The rooms on their own, with no building around them...

Oh what's the point? @Craig, can you just ban me from commenting on any Towers related topic please? It'd be easier.

 

[delta79]

@DiogoJ42 I am only taking the mick about Prefab rooms V Prefab lodges.

 

[Dave]

What about prefab houses?

*slowely winds up the Diogo*

 

[DiogoJ42]

I dunno, they count as dog baskets?

 

[James]

A video of the village and interior of one of the lodges. Nothing new but gives a slightly different perspective to pictures.

 

[PeteB]

So much luxury, that they put up the cheapest 6ft security fence they could find. Looks like something out of a Zombie apocalypse.

Though much more likely recycled chainlink from Terror of The Towers finale.

I have no words to describe how awful this looks.

 

[Burbs]

So much luxury, that they put up the cheapest 6ft security fence they could find. Looks like something out of a Zombie apocalypse.

Though much more likely recycled chainlink from Terror of The Towers finale.

I have no words to describe how awful this looks.

At first I thought this was a backstage security exit for staff only, which I thought was acceptable. Then I realised that this is the main entrance to the tree houses...

 

[CGM]

So much luxury, that they put up the cheapest 6ft security fence they could find. Looks like something out of a Zombie apocalypse.
Though much more likely recycled chainlink from Terror of The Towers finale.
I have no words to describe how awful this looks.

I have a personal policy. If any product, be it a hotel, package holiday or box of chocolates uses the word "luxury" to describe itself, it probably isn't that luxurious. Particularly not when written in huge gold letters that dwarf everything else on the sign.

 

[Alastair]

Bare tarmac and an entrance unbefitting of even a service road into the back of Lidl. I'm sure it's nice inside the treehouses, but I'm not sure the same can be said about the view.

 

[Tom]

The wood just looks so anaemic and the bridges being a foot off the ground is beyond anticlimactic.

 

[Ketz]

I think the road is a minor thing that would have improved the experience (there are many examples on that list) I personally think the two major issues are the restaurant, which is just bland, something you can see anywhere. The other is the number and size of the trees, hardly a enchanted forest. And the problem is they will take a good 10 years to get to any size. So it's going to be bare and boring and hardly enchanting or magical till then. But then again the cabins will look dire by then so this place may never look any good.

 

[James]

I love that the sign is attached to a plain piece of wood stuck in the ground. Very magical.

Oh a side note it's a shame they couldn't have left a bigger gap between each treehouse and provided private parking beside each treehouse (I know they have exclusive parking anyway but a space right next to the treehouses could have been better). Given the price that would have been a nice touch. I'm just being picky though when there are bigger issues.

Interior pictures of the treehouses have been added to the website. http://www.altontowers.com/places-to-stay/enchanted-village-treehouses/#hotel-room-explorer

Again it looks modern, nice and comfortable, but ultimately generic. There's no Alton Towers charm, nothing that makes you jump out of your seat and makes you want to go there now. No 'wow' moments here either.

 

[AstroDan]

I can see the city bankers' family enjoying their £1,000 night. Excluding dinner and tickets, of course.

Overall it's a moderate looking development but these lodges would be the entry/basic level option in any other resort...

 

[Tim]

They have a bookcase door! Sold!

In all seriousness I can't help but feel underwhelmed. It's all just so bland. Might as well just have "Merlin Made" stamped on the side of each lodge.

One thing that bothers me about the roads is the lack of edging, it just goes from road to impossibly green grass to lodge. Merlin hire some pretty talented landscapers, use them.

 

[AstroDan]

Paved edging would cost more money.

 

[_nemesis_]

Well, the Treehouses themselves look nice, although I do feel they would have benefited from having fairy lights or at least vines on the fencing around the hot tub, it looks pretty poor on its own to be honest. Combine the poor build quality with the fact the wood is untreated and it almost feels like they want another Tomb Blaster incident.

On the subject of the metal mesh, its horrid. It almost feels like Candy Holland is leaving her trade mark depressing element to the project. Surely chestnut post and rail would have looked better? In fact, if they really needed a security fence, they could still have put wire on the back of nicer fencing.

Whilst it is a shame the couldn't have got large trees etc. I'm sure it will look great in a few years time.

 

[Tim]

I was about to make a witty message along the lines of "spending that money would make me actuals want to visit", but then I remembered it will no doubt look way better in marketing material and people will flood in regardless.

and yes there are trees that will grow up and make the area look "better" but grass and a few trees hardly compares to this:

... now I sound like Diogo ...

 

[Danny]

Whilst it is a shame the couldn't have got large trees etc. I'm sure it will look great in a few years time.

Mhmm, that rotting wood look. The whole village will be rethemed into a dilapidated refugee camp.