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2019: General Discussion

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I imminently await the next product line up for the parks.

Something along the lines of MEMO: THE RIDE at Thorpe Park Resort wouldn't surprise me, seeing as they love jumping on any recent trend that lasts 5 minutes.

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Hi everyone,

Some of you might not be aware but today Nick Varney presented the 2018 preliminary results for the financial year, with a fair portion dedicated to Alton Towers Resort and the wider Merlin estate.

A summary of the 1 hour long presentation follows, which is entirely objective and factual:

  • Net Promoter Scores are up. Merlin operates its parks at a 'world class' level due to their KPI results and Nick claims it is 'virtually impossible to increase the NPS above 57% (which it currently is). For context, last year was Merlin's best ever year for KPIs. See Figure 1.

  • The company were "launching a new ride" at Heide Park called Colossos. Nick makes reference to the investors viewing the presentation by saying "This image might be familiar to those of you who have seen our Wicker Man product. At Merlin we never let a good idea go un-copied if we can help it."

  • Merlin welcomed a record number of visitors to their attractions in 2018 (67M). Resort Theme Parks, in particular Alton Towers Resort, had an outstanding year, "Helped by the installation of the Wicker Man attraction and a strong Halloween product."

  • The future of this business is all about IPs. Nick claims Merlin are the best in the world at pulling off Intellectual Property location based entertainments. See Figure 2.

  • Resort Theme Park's allocated capital expenditure is to reduce even further in order to fund Midway roll out and future LEGOLAND Parks. See Figure 3.

  • Merlin create the best themed accommodation in the world, unrivalled by any other amusement or park operator. They plan to continue this drive to turn their parks into resort destinations because it is the "ultimate win-win, as people who stay at the attractions provide better KPI scores."

  • Oh, and they are no longer counting pop badge as assets on their balance sheet to aid with the preparation of their financial statements for the Midway Division. See Figure 4. Yes - I am not joking.

My concluding remarks:

It is astonishing that Merlin have achieved their "best ever" KPI scores given they were publicly outed by the Financial Press for their poor TripAdvisor results a couple of months ago. Additionally, to believe that the Guest Satisfaction has increased seems unreasonable due to the decrease in overall quality of their attractions. Merlin seem adamant to continue packing their parks with as many rooms as possible irrespective of consumer demand. It was interesting to note that the Stargazing Pods were completely omitted from the presentation. Finally, it was bizarre to see Nick bill the Colossus reopening as a new attraction.

Figure 1:
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Figure 2:
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Figure 3:
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Figure 4:
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Brilliant post, thank you very much for this!

I can't believe some of the stuff I have just read there, to the extent that I thought you might be writing some of it as a joke. But no, the only joke is Varney and his deluded thinking. He clearly has lost his way and it is time for new leadership at Merlin with fresh ideas instead of the same old dross.

Never let a good idea go un-copied? Wow. World class levels of guest satisfaction? What, because "50% is generally considered world class"? What goes generally mean and who by, yourself? Reducing theme park CAPEX even further? What a way to get people excited for the future!

But the biggest joke? "The best themed accommodation in the world, unrivalled by any other amusement or park operator". What is this man smoking? How can he seriously claim that the Alton Towers Pig Farm and the Thorpe Park Shipping Container Prison are the best in the world, unrivalled by even Disney and Universal? Heck even Plopsa's new hotel looks like it is going to be better than what Merlin come up with these days. Sure, he's said park operators, so that helpfully excludes the likes of Europa-Park, Phantasialand and PortAventura but that statement is the biggest pile of b0llocks I've read for a while.
 
Regarding KPIs, not only can any collected date be manipulated in order for the company to show/prove what THEY want to show/prove; you know damn well that any day that is seemingly going down the pan the screens don't seem to want to take your feedback...

And thus, the over-going cycle of self-praise with fingers in ears going "LALALALALALA" very loudly continues...
 
And this is why Merlin parks are going down the toilet, because you have a person at the very top who is blind to what is really going on. And to say you cant get better KPI values??? You can ALWAYS strive to improve. All he has to do is read the TripAdvisor scores to see how bad things have got. Then to say a "strong Halloween product".... this was probably the worst one yet. No free scare mazes, lack of themeing around the resort, it was poor.

And as for world class themed accommodation. I doubt very much he stays in any of the Merlin hotels. If he does, he probably has his own private suite, used only by him and his family, which is locked the rest of the year and cleaned within an inch of its life. I bet the beds even have mattress protectors on them.

Shocking, just truly shocking.
 
How are the shareholders not demanding his head on a pike?
 
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Looks like someones published a version of the site they shouldn't have! You would think they would have processes in place to stop this sort of thing happening
 
Varney & all his followers [i.e. Merlin Employees] are clearly smoking something very good.

I apologise in advance to Wayne Burton, but for Towers to have a department, headed up by him, called "Product Excellence" is a complete joke. There is simply no product excellence at Towers (or any other Merlin-run park in the UK). With Merlin it's just cost-cutting, up-selling & fleece the guests for all we can.

German parks like Europa Park & Phantasia Land excel at what can be done. I would personally say Europa Park exceeds Disney standards (but I will hasten to add, I am no great fan of The Mouse).
 
I can’t believe the utter bollocks that’s been spouted in these results. The water park a second gate?!? Bored after 2 hours max. Rubbish opening hours, it’s worrying how far detached from the real world he seems to be
 
Merlin have released a separate summary of the results on YouTube. If you want a good laugh skip to exactly 1:30.



I think he's getting quality and quantity mixed up. Merlin are by far the best at rolling out hotel rooms at the cheapest possible cost. The quality however is not comparable with their rivals. Are they the best in the world at it? Are the heck!
 
So, does this mean that the cross-valley woodie may be slightly delayed then?

I suspect they will still build the SW’s, they just won’t spend much on the non coaster years. Merlin are killing their parks slowest but surely, not a fun time to be a UK enthusiast.
 
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