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Autism the thread

I've got a few checked shirts, actually - I'm wearing one of them right now. :p I've got a few in similar designs (slightly different colours) that I picked up from Sainsbury's a while back, as they were quite simple in design and I liked how they looked on me. Label placement isn't normally a problem for me, but I had a couple of T-shirts once where the labels weren't on the back of the neck or one of the side-seams. Nope - they were on a sleeve-seam. Like, who decides to put them there when virtually nobody else does?

Finding stuff that fits me right is somewhat tricky, though I'm quite a fan of Next's stuff, as that's usually pretty good, plus it strikes a good balance between price and quality. I'm not going to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a single pair of jeans, for example, when I can get some for £25-£30.
 
Bit of a bump from me on this one. :p

Stimming. Pretty much everyone who's autistic does it, and I daresay some NTs probably do as well to a certain extent. I've been thinking for a little bit about the different stimming behaviours I employ, and was wondering what my fellow autistics on here do that classes as stimming.

One that I know I've done for a while is quite common at work. If it's quiet, I often have a pen in my pocket that I just play with, and before we had to wear masks, I'd often chew the end of it. Since that, I've had to use different stims, and I've also had to minimise touching my hair, which is annoying when it's been over two months since my last haircut. Though I did go seven months last year (thanks, COVID), and didn't have it cut for what was probably 18 months between 2008-10. If man buns were in fashion then, I could've had one, but I really don't like them. :p I thought I would've needed one in the latter stages of barbers being closed in the early summer of last year, but I'm really glad I didn't. I do sometimes struggle to explain exactly what I want to my barber, though it might actually help if they knew I'm autistic.

One stim I've used for years is just tapping my feet, though I'm of course careful and try to do it as quietly as possible so as to not annoy my parents. Though if you've read my previous posts, you'll probably know that I really mean just one of them...

Probably the biggest stim, and one I literally only realised a few days ago (despite doing it for YEARS), is going all flappy-hands-and-clapping if something good happens. Honestly don't know how I didn't connect the two together until now! :p

I'll probably chuck something about minor sensory issues up at some point within the next couple of weeks if I remember, but thought I'd mention it now to give people time to think about it.
 
Hi all. I’ve been struggling with what I believe to be the most common co-morbidity for people with Autism - Depression.

Recently I’ve had a major life change and as we all can relate I cannot adjust to the change this has led to the massive depression, tired all the time not hungry etc.

My reason for posting? I just wondered what therapies people may have had that were successful?
I’ve had counselling before but I always find myself so cynical of this and already know what message the therapist is trying to convey but struggle to accept or implement this.

How do others deal with life altering change? What about depression? Any suggestions for therapy?
 
Alolan Diglett said:
Hi all. I’ve been struggling with what I believe to be the most common co-morbidity for people with Autism - Depression.

Recently I’ve had a major life change and as we all can relate I cannot adjust to the change this has led to the massive depression, tired all the time not hungry etc.

My reason for posting? I just wondered what therapies people may have had that were successful?
I’ve had counselling before but I always find myself so cynical of this and already know what message the therapist is trying to convey but struggle to accept or implement this.

How do others deal with life altering change? What about depression? Any suggestions for therapy?
Click to expand...

That sounds like autistic burnout, it's certainly not pleasant.
 
I think I've probably been dealing with burnout for at least the past year thanks to the pandemic. Talking to people has definitely helped, though I do often wonder whether I should see my GP about it and work out whether medication could help. For clarity, I'm not suicidal - don't worry - and haven't been for a number of years, though that was more linked with issues regarding my sexuality than with being autistic. Like, I don't want to see anyone about it yet because the pandemic's still a major problem, but on the flip side, I don't want things to get worse to the point where they're unmanageable and I'm at serious risk of problems.
 
Alolan Diglett said:
Hi all. I’ve been struggling with what I believe to be the most common co-morbidity for people with Autism - Depression.

Recently I’ve had a major life change and as we all can relate I cannot adjust to the change this has led to the massive depression, tired all the time not hungry etc.

My reason for posting? I just wondered what therapies people may have had that were successful?
I’ve had counselling before but I always find myself so cynical of this and already know what message the therapist is trying to convey but struggle to accept or implement this.

How do others deal with life altering change? What about depression? Any suggestions for therapy?
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear about your situation and feelings.

As you may have been told by your counselor and.or others in the past, physical exercise and/or outdoor exposure are critical in my opinion. The hardest part would be forcing yourself in the first place. Very generally, the greater connection with the natural - and disconnection of the technological - seems to be the best therapy I can advise.

How does your phone or other technology actually make you *feel*. Do the notifications and vibrations actually evoke feelings of excitement and joy, or do they actually contribute towards stress, anxiety or other ill-feeling.

Try to evaluate all of your day's inputs and stimuli, and eliminate the bad actors - while adding and experimenting with some new ones - walks, runs, studying - and see how they make you feel.

Finally, it's also possible to take greater life satisfaction from helping others and also considering that there are many people feeling as bad - and possibly worse - than yourself. Do not let this lead to feelings of guilt however, as what you are feeling is perfectly natural, yet can still be overcome.
 
Thanks for the responses. So quick! I already attempted to address the exercise issue - I have 3 dogs two of which are Collies and I take them out three times a day. I think that’s sufficient really for outside exercise. I enjoy it and the calmness is very relaxing.
I don’t use devices often - I’m a social worker in a Learning Disability Team so my work necessitates laptops phone tablets so try to have time away from these once I finish work.
All things that are great advice that I’ve already begun to implement.

I’m on medication from the doctor, although I don’t like it.

I had considered burnout especially with Covid putting extra pressure not only in professional but everyday life also. I’ve considered a career change, is it work that is the route cause? Being too personal dealing with other who are autistic or have other “worse” conditions.

I’ve tried CBT and EMDR as alternative therapies in the past. I’ve been keeping a journal too about thoughts fears and feelings. But I find this frustrating rather than helpful and it often leaves me angry rather than content.

Does anyone have mindful techniques that work? I’ve tried music and instructional but find my mind wanders too easily which is not the desired effect
 
Have you tried doing anything more cardiovascular/aerobic in addition to your dog walking?

Something that gets you out breath can lead to improved mood afterwards. You could also consider buying a fitness tracker and working to improve your VO2 max. It would be something to track; seeing improvements in many things is often satisfying and self-sustaining.
 
I had an interesting experience yesterday when I popped to work in the morning to get a few bits (needed a birthday present for Mum, plus she asked me to get a few bits of fruit & veg, and I was working in another store in the afternoon). Got there, face covering on, walked in the door and up the travelator, no problems. Then as I was on the shop floor, I could feel something calling. Yup - sensory overload was hitting me. It was a bit busy, but I guess it's my fault for going at about 11:30am. Surprisingly, there weren't too many kids in uniform around, and those that were all seemed to be complying with the face covering rules. It's more that it was busy and I noticed people standing around in front of what I wanted way more than usual, and it was of course noisier than normal. It reminded me why I hate going shopping during the day, and only do so on a Saturday after work because I'm already there & it saves me going out again. I just found myself getting stressed, and because of my indecisive nature, I was in there for 15 minutes. Would've been a lot quicker otherwise.

What's strange to me is that if I were working in that situation, I would've been fine, though may have popped into the warehouse for a couple of minutes to have a breather every so often. I guess that when I'm at work, I have to mask in order to do my job, whereas if I'm there as a customer, I don't have such an escape route. It's weird that being in the same scenario in the same place can produce different results depending on why I'm there...but maybe it makes sense now I think about it. I've never really had this experience when I've been at work before, regardless of whether I'm a colleague or a customer, which makes it even more bizarre. Oh, and for the record, once I'd got back into my car and had taken a couple of minutes to de-stress, I was fine.

Which rather conveniently brings me onto what I mentioned last week - minor sensory overload causes. A common one is clothing labels. This doesn't matter too much to me, so long as any care labels are in the normal places, such as the back of the neck or one of the side seams for tops, and bottoms & underwear don't matter too much (though the rear for underwear is definitely preferred). I had a couple of T-shirts once that for some reason had the care labels in the sleeve seam, and it was just uncomfortable to the point where I couldn't wear them. Another comparatively minor issue is one I've alluded to in the past - extra fabric around my legs. I can't wear some jogging bottoms because they've got a lot of extra fabric in them, specifically in the lower legs, and I can't deal with them randomly touching my legs. It's why I prefer skinny jeans - despite the roughness of the fabric, I quite like it, and I prefer how they hug my calves. (I can wear soft-fabric sweatpants without any issues, though - go figure.) Course, the trade-off with skinny jeans is that underwear can sometimes ride up, which is also one of the reasons why I can't deal with wearing loose-fitting boxers at all.

What minor sensory overload causes do others have, and how do they deal with them?
 
Jonathan said:
I had an interesting experience yesterday when I popped to work in the morning to get a few bits (needed a birthday present for Mum, plus she asked me to get a few bits of fruit & veg, and I was working in another store in the afternoon). Got there, face covering on, walked in the door and up the travelator, no problems. Then as I was on the shop floor, I could feel something calling. Yup - sensory overload was hitting me. It was a bit busy, but I guess it's my fault for going at about 11:30am. Surprisingly, there weren't too many kids in uniform around, and those that were all seemed to be complying with the face covering rules. It's more that it was busy and I noticed people standing around in front of what I wanted way more than usual, and it was of course noisier than normal. It reminded me why I hate going shopping during the day, and only do so on a Saturday after work because I'm already there & it saves me going out again. I just found myself getting stressed, and because of my indecisive nature, I was in there for 15 minutes. Would've been a lot quicker otherwise.

What's strange to me is that if I were working in that situation, I would've been fine, though may have popped into the warehouse for a couple of minutes to have a breather every so often. I guess that when I'm at work, I have to mask in order to do my job, whereas if I'm there as a customer, I don't have such an escape route. It's weird that being in the same scenario in the same place can produce different results depending on why I'm there...but maybe it makes sense now I think about it. I've never really had this experience when I've been at work before, regardless of whether I'm a colleague or a customer, which makes it even more bizarre. Oh, and for the record, once I'd got back into my car and had taken a couple of minutes to de-stress, I was fine.

Which rather conveniently brings me onto what I mentioned last week - minor sensory overload causes. A common one is clothing labels. This doesn't matter too much to me, so long as any care labels are in the normal places, such as the back of the neck or one of the side seams for tops, and bottoms & underwear don't matter too much (though the rear for underwear is definitely preferred). I had a couple of T-shirts once that for some reason had the care labels in the sleeve seam, and it was just uncomfortable to the point where I couldn't wear them. Another comparatively minor issue is one I've alluded to in the past - extra fabric around my legs. I can't wear some jogging bottoms because they've got a lot of extra fabric in them, specifically in the lower legs, and I can't deal with them randomly touching my legs. It's why I prefer skinny jeans - despite the roughness of the fabric, I quite like it, and I prefer how they hug my calves. (I can wear soft-fabric sweatpants without any issues, though - go figure.) Course, the trade-off with skinny jeans is that underwear can sometimes ride up, which is also one of the reasons why I can't deal with wearing loose-fitting boxers at all.

What minor sensory overload causes do others have, and how do they deal with them?
Click to expand...

That point about same place different situation rings true with the parks, I'm even aware of a few staff who need rap for when they are a guest but are fine when in staff mode.


In terms of minor sensory overload triggers I wouldn't say there is such a thing, do you mean lesser known ones?
If so for me a stuffy tube carriage even if empty of people can be problematic.
 
imanautie said:
In terms of minor sensory overload triggers I wouldn't say there is such a thing, do you mean lesser known ones?
If so for me a stuffy tube carriage even if empty of people can be problematic.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I think that's probably more what I was getting at, or maybe ones that don't normally affect you too much.

Regarding the Tube, stuffy carriages are the worst. It's why I like the S Stock on the sub-surface lines - much more spacious, air-conditioned, and pretty smooth in terms of ride. Looking forward to the new stock on the Piccadilly line within the next few years, which should be much nicer than the current 1973 Stock.
 
Hey you Guys!
So I’m guessing y’all will have seen a recent “news” article about a woman asked to leave Six Flags due to her shorts being too short?
Well apparently this woman is autistic. Now I was reading about the story and a debate occurred in the comments beneath about whether the woman being autistic had any relevance to the story or not. now this story was the Parks response to her video and giving their side so portrays her a little differently.
I wonder what you all think? Is it relevant?


[URL]https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/theme-park-hits-back-autistic-24103083[/URL]
 
Last edited:
Alolan Diglett said:
Hey you Guys!
So I’m guessing y’all will have seen a recent “news” article about a woman asked to leave Six Flags due to her shorts being too short?
Well apparently this woman is autistic. Now I was reading about the story and a debate occurred in the comments beneath about whether the woman being autistic had any relevance to the story or not. now this story was the Parks response to her video and giving their side so portrays her a little differently.
I wonder what you all think? Is it relevant?

[URL='https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/theme-park-hits-back-autistic-24103083?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mirror_main&fbclid=IwAR1aRgax5oe47Ri8y7M25Zo1QXk8T0zEezwYb8MphUF9-GRTg__p9veYths']https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/theme-park-hits-back-autistic-24103083
[/URL]
Click to expand...
That link doesn't seem to work :(
 
Question for any parents out there with autistic children

My son is 4, barely says a word and doesn’t have any conversations with us

How do you coax him in to talking? He’s capable of it has the words he says are very clear - he sings songs all day clearly

We’re obviously getting speech and language help, etc. But what tips do you have?
 
Jb85 said:
Question for any parents out there with autistic children

My son is 4, barely says a word and doesn’t have any conversations with us

How do you coax him in to talking? He’s capable of it has the words he says are very clear - he sings songs all day clearly

We’re obviously getting speech and language help, etc. But what tips do you have?
Click to expand...

1. You're asking the wrong group of people.

2. Singing and speaking are two completely different skill sets!

3. Try AAC to get some communication going then go on from there, Ask me I'm an aac user in Facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/456220758119314/?ref=share ) could be quite a useful place to ask specifics. Whilst I am personally an AAC user I've gone from speaking to mostly not and I use text based AAC not symbols which I'm guessing would be the better fit.

4.speech is overrated.
 
imanautie said:
1. You're asking the wrong group of people.

2. Singing and speaking are two completely different skill sets!

3. Try AAC to get some communication going then go on from there, Ask me I'm an aac user in Facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/456220758119314/?ref=share ) could be quite a useful place to ask specifics. Whilst I am personally an AAC user I've gone from speaking to mostly not and I use text based AAC not symbols which I'm guessing would be the better fit.

4.speech is overrated.
Click to expand...

I will certainly have a look at AAC. Thanks

It’s hard for me - I’m struggling to get into his mind. Understand the world through his eyes.

On the flip side, the support out there and nhs services are amazing .... thoroughly impressed. The only thing they can’t help with is how you feel as parent. I feel like there’s more I should be doing
 
Jb85 said:
I will certainly have a look at AAC. Thanks

It’s hard for me - I’m struggling to get into his mind. Understand the world through his eyes.

On the flip side, the support out there and nhs services are amazing .... thoroughly impressed. The only thing they can’t help with is how you feel as parent. I feel like there’s more I should be doing
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That's going to to be a hard thing to conceptualise, but as long as they are happy and have some form of communication that's not causing direct harm to anyone your doing ok
 
It's been a long time coming, but I finally had a bit of a meltdown yesterday morning. Long story short is I'd gone to Manchester for the weekend and saw Mike for the first time in nine months, which was so good. Watched Eurovision together, which was basically the main reason for going away in the first place. Then yesterday morning, as we were about to leave the hotel, I just ended up in tears. I think it was probably a combination of being tired and hungover, but also not wanting to go home after having had such a great weekend. Part of it stems from the fact we hadn't seen each other for months, part of it because we don't have anything concrete in place until much later this year for seeing each other again (though initial plans may be being looked into for something a bit sooner), but also the long-standing issues with my dad, who has a bit of a penchant for only seeming to mention my interests when they aren't going too well - say, for example, if Manchester United lose a game. Thankfully, I eventually calmed down thanks to help from Mike, though was a bit emotional for the rest of the day. I did come up with a reasonably good idea for a tattoo, though, so at least something positive came from it! :p

I guess I've got three discussion questions from this.
1) How do you cope when having a meltdown over something even you know is rather trivial?
2) Does anyone else struggle when they don't know for certain when they're going to see a loved one again?
3) Who else gets upset when people disparage their special interests?
 
Jonathan said:
It's been a long time coming, but I finally had a bit of a meltdown yesterday morning. Long story short is I'd gone to Manchester for the weekend and saw Mike for the first time in nine months, which was so good. Watched Eurovision together, which was basically the main reason for going away in the first place. Then yesterday morning, as we were about to leave the hotel, I just ended up in tears. I think it was probably a combination of being tired and hungover, but also not wanting to go home after having had such a great weekend. Part of it stems from the fact we hadn't seen each other for months, part of it because we don't have anything concrete in place until much later this year for seeing each other again (though initial plans may be being looked into for something a bit sooner), but also the long-standing issues with my dad, who has a bit of a penchant for only seeming to mention my interests when they aren't going too well - say, for example, if Manchester United lose a game. Thankfully, I eventually calmed down thanks to help from Mike, though was a bit emotional for the rest of the day. I did come up with a reasonably good idea for a tattoo, though, so at least something positive came from it! :p

I guess I've got three discussion questions from this.
1) How do you cope when having a meltdown over something even you know is rather trivial?
2) Does anyone else struggle when they don't know for certain when they're going to see a loved one again?
3) Who else gets upset when people disparage their special interests?
Click to expand...
1. I find myself it's not usually 0-100 caused by something trivial, more 99-100 with something trivial pushing me over the edge, and honestly there's zero difference from that to a 0-100 meltdown in terms of response.
3. I do not believe there is anyone who doesn't!
 
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