So I've had my first ever visit to PA after a ridiculously prolonged time and can finally form my opinions on the place.
I went with semi-low expectations, thus allowing the park to exceed them. There's no denying some areas of the park are jaw droppingly stunning, particularly the walkway into China with Dragon Khan and Shambhala offering a splendid backdrop. The resort village is also a delight, and Gold River's festive reception is a lovely finish.
The general details around Gold River and the Callaghan's delivered an all round well themed atmosphere for me, however stepping into the bar is ridiculous. Over the top bright lighting, no music and absolutely no atmosphere. There's more positive atmosphere at a funeral than inside Gold River's bar. The Grand Opera was also equally disappointing; a promising facade but a lacklustre delivery. Those interior supports are a joke.
So let's focus our minds in the park and on the rides. The first ride of my first visit began on the Grand Canyon Rapids. Well themed but short lived in its layout. There's a thrilling pace to it in segments however it comes crashing to an end far too quickly, with acceptable levels of wetness during a Spanish December.
Furious Baco, the long slandered and negatively upheld reputable icon of the park. My head first launching of low expectations and bracing paid off, as the ride is considerably better than most had provided me the imagery to interpret from. I expected a world shattering journey of pain, only to be given less than a minute of forward and backward juddering, making the ride somewhat acceptable to ride given lengthy breaks are taken between. In fact rather than focusing my mind on the repeated collisions between my spine and the seat, I was far too concerned with how deceased the layout is - utterly dull and the launch offers as much thrill as winning a line at bingo.
I'd completely forgotten that El Diablo existed before visiting, and I suspect I'm likely to forget it exists in the not too distant future. A completely unmemorable Arrow mine train with less moments of excitement than being told you're to live the rest of your life without a vital ligament. The section between the second and third lift hills is a total joke and the trimmed first drop out the station is woeful.
Stampeda was a mixed bag personally. There were moments of joy that sadly entwined with brutal harsh body treatment. Should the retracking continue further, then there is a genuinely awesome duelling woodie sat off the Spanish coast. For now however, I certainly won't be rushing back to ride Wardley's wooden woe.
Tomahawk on the other hand is a noble effort of a child friendly wooden coaster. Packing more of a punch than anticipated, assistance offered by the MF trains makes it a joy to ride and an unexpected gem of the visit.
After being told it had exceptional theming, I probably had higher standards for the Ice Age 4D attraction than I should have upheld. I am not joking when I say
this is the worst form of 4D attraction I have EVER experienced. A miserable waste of space that I would love to see restored to its previous incarnation as rapidly as possible.
Dragon Khan. After being nagged by
@Alastair that it was a rough B&M, I had a level of tension when first boarding. The ride however is nothing of the sort, packing various levels of a punch (particularly through the zero g roll) with a slight judder inevitably from age. My overall opinion however is that it does rage around for too long, with the interlocking corkscrew segment offering nothing to me other than wondering when the brake run would kick in. It's an overall enjoyable experience, but it clearly outstays its welcome.
The biggest moment of visiting Portaventura however is of course its headlining coaster. Regarded by the 13-year-old sector of the enthusiast community courtesy of a certain TPWW vlogger as the pinnacle of coasters, I can safely say that Shambhala is anything but. Lovely theming and a surrounding area certainly, but the ride itself simply struggled to deliver an unrivalled fizz that my number 1 coaster, Helix, does.
The airtime is ridiculously underwhelming regardless of how loose I managed to sustain my restraint. Credit where it's due, it IS a fantastic ride, but it seriously falls down on being a pinnacle of roller coasters, despite its mantle of height in Europe.
The operations across the park are laughable. FIFTEEN minutes to dispatch one flat ride is atrocious and queuing 30 minutes for a poor break dance is far from desirable. The only efforts made on Shambhala were the highlight of the visit, overseen by the 1:00 timer keeping the hosts on their toes. Having only 2 members of staff on a major coaster such as Dragon Khan is appalling. I understand there are one or two diehard fanboys knocking about the place, but that cannot be defended in no respect.
The staff and throughputs put a large dampener on a visit to what is, at its heart, a lovely themed park with a small line up of brilliant rides and shows, entwined with catastrophic painful wastes of space and a delightful resort area. There needs to be a heavy injection of atmosphere, focus on improving staff and their throughputs, as well as actually making their bars a fun and enjoyable place to visit.
Not being a massive foody always ensures I never put my tastebuds to the test at theme parks, but I'm rather glad I didn't judging by it hers opinions. Countless meals being cold, undercooked or sent back across the resort and theme park are never ideal, and an improvement made on customer service in this sector would not go amiss.
A conclusion then? I won't be striving to rush back to the park for the foreseeable future, Shambhala alone not quite being enough to tempt me in the same way Helix does for Liseberg. Ferrari Land will inevitably bring me back, but there is a substantial amount of improvements to be made until then if Portaventura is to secure a positive spot in my heart.
[It also seems that "a fork" stands for four coca colas in supposedly, the resort's grandest restaurant. What a joke].
