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Stargazing Pods

I've come round to the idea of these as a cheaper option to the hotels, possibly also one more popular with those blasted millenials as well as young families (soon to be the same thing), but I think the lack of investment in infrastructure around them is telling and dodgy for the guest experience. Of course, the restaurants are quiet outside of peak hours, but so are most restaurants. Surely a small, lodge style venue serving gastropub food and real ales would be a sure-fire success?

When the original two hotels were built, there was an argeement that they would be priced appropriately so not to muscle in on the local hotels and B&Bs business, much of which is generated by Alton Towers. I suspect part of the planning board's initial reluctance towards this development was that they saw that silent arrangement threatened, specifically by the sheer lack of effort on Merlin's part to offer anything remotely 'magical' outside of a snazzy logo and a whimsical name.
 
@Plastic Person Do you not think the development of RCR has ticked that box in terms of an additional food location?

If RCR isn't your thing you can choose any of the others (bar Windmill, I guess) which should be quieter because some hotel guests have opted for RCR instead of the restaurant in their hotel.
 
Plastic Person said:
I suspect part of the planning board's initial reluctance towards this development was that they saw that silent arrangement threatened, specifically by the sheer lack of effort on Merlin's part to offer anything remotely 'magical' outside of a snazzy logo and a whimsical name.
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Indeed I suspect what convinced them to allow it is when they saw it and realised the b&bs have nothing to worry about.
 
Martin said:
Indeed I suspect what convinced them to allow it is when they saw it and realised the b&bs have nothing to worry about.
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Haha, quite.

I just don't know what people are supposed to do when the park closes early evening, or late afternoon, and they're booked into these for the evening. I don't want to get into one of the many carousel argument options that play out on here, as I know how Merlin operate, but the sheer lack of ambition and "that'll do"-ness is what continues to disappoint me about the resort.
 
Rick said:
You phrase that question as if capitalism doesn't exist. If it's '"budget" budget' is irrelevant. If it's at a price that sufficient people want to pay, all is well. If it's not, they'll need to rethink the pricing or take a (communal) bath on their investment.
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Are theme parks now just a big exploitation of stupid people then?

No, not stupid, but at least very misled if they think paying for a B&Q shed is a good idea, for the same price they could stay in a nice B&B.

Aren't theme parks meant to be about exceeding expectation and surprises? Otherwise they may as well stay in their homes. You can bet these sheds will be advertised as a once in a lifetime magical experience to families, complete with exaggerated CGI graphics, only to turn out underwhelming.

Shame that the average family is losing all sense for value for money, to be replaced by 'brands' and manipulative marketing. In time, it's everybody's loss. Except for Merlin of course, who aren't exactly going to say no to the opportunity. Doesn't mean we all have to jump behind the idea as some kind of inevitability.
 
They are now advertising these as star gazing pods. How are you actually meant to star gaze? It’s a solid ceiling.

They have literally run out of ideas.

“Dave, the park shuts at 4pm, we have scrapped most of the ents, you can’t find anywhere to eat and there are 30 min queues for the bars. What are people staying here meant to do?”

“Meh. Brand em as ‘Star Gazing’ then”

It’s got so bad at Towers we have literally reached the point where the only thing there is to do of an evening is look at the flipping sky.
 
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@TakeYourMedicine I wouldn't like to dictate how anyone should spend (or indeed not spend) their money. People can do what they want as far as I am concerned.

I don't understand how that's different than anything else in life. Some of my friends, family and colleagues think any money that we spend on theme parks is a waste and that's their point of view, but we continue to do it because we see great value in doing so.

If people want to have a critical opinion of something and say "I wouldn't spend my money on that" - that's cool, I get that. What I dislike is "I think this sucks and therefore you shouldn't spend your money on it".

The people that you consider "misled" are perhaps of the thinking that you are misled for spending your time and money on things that hold no appeal to them.

Again, back to the expensive shoe argument. It blows my mind but if that's what they want to do, crack on!
 
TakeYourMedicine said:
Shame that the average family is losing all sense for value for money, to be replaced by 'brands' and manipulative marketing. In time, it's everybody's loss. Except for Merlin of course, who aren't exactly going to say no to the opportunity. Doesn't mean we all have to jump behind the idea as some kind of inevitability.
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I don't agree with everything in this post, and of course, people can spend their money as they see fit. However, there's something in this statement. Brands and IPs now run the world, and while there are occasional upsides, it's generally stacks the cards against creativity. When people instinctively buy into the cult of something or other, it generally doesn't work out well, with some ailing organisations/venues/teams/bands/studios (delete as applicable) often kept afloat by the sheer bloody-mindedness of it's devotees, and their direct needle into the bloodstream of their identity, over anything of real value.

As it happens, theme park design and escapist leisure is about creativity, and I feel that's what's hugely lacking from almost everything Merlin do right now. Merlin become a recognisable international brand by force, borrowed finance and ambition, expanding with cookie-cutter midway attractions and buying out larger parks that had already cemented a reputation. It appears that they've now got a bigger empire than they can handle on their hands, and they're buying into short-term solutions like these sheds to keep things rolling. I just can't see how anyone could look at this development and think, "This is exactly what the park needs." It's corporate, shareholder calming logic that's completely corrupt of longevity, and it's chiselling further and further away at the identity and reputation that Alton Towers once lead forward with.

Yes, yes, it's a business, but so are Efteling, Europa Park, Phantasialand, Liseberg, even Blackpool bloody Pleasure Beach!
 
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The trab argument doesn't really work cos if you don't like Nike you have a range of other options that are equal in quality and prestige, as well as cheaper options, of varying prestige and quality. And generally Nike products hold up well and are more or less equal to the competition at their price range.

Towers doesn't compare well to other resorts in Europe, and domestically there are few other options, there's only Thorpe and Blackpool at the upper tier, after that you've just got places like Flamingoland's caravan park.
 
Plus I expect Nike spend a great deal of money on research and development.

Anyway. I quite like the name Stargazing Pods. I wonder if the pods will have any seats so you can actually sit outside and look at the stars?
 
@Martin The trainer comparison works in the way I presented it in that something with no real value has value on the grounds that people will pay for it. Doesn't have to be Nike. People pay for brands, as was alluded to.

The focus on comparing everything Alton does to the European resorts is less important in the mass market is than on this corner of the internet. If you tell a guy in your local that the beer is better in Munich, you'd be right but chances are he's just going to continue to enjoy that pint 5 mins down the road from his house.

@Plastic Person Efteling isn't a business and the others you mentioned are fundamentally different for the reasons you outlined.

The Merlin approach to product, pricing etc is different to that of each of those, no arguments there. What they provide works for the family and friends I visit the parks with, it baffles why people who hate it so much continue to patronise it. What a sucky way to live your life - but God bless that sweet sweet freedom you have to do it.

Another 'carousel argument'. Time for me to get off, I think.
 
We still go because the rollercoasters are good, as a collection better than anywhere else in the country. People put up with it because there's nothing else. Not just enthusiasts but everyone else who likes theme parks. Merlin know people like rides and do the minimum to provide that, knowing people need to scratch that itch and have almost nowhere else to go that compares, unless they can afford to go abroad.
 
Re: The 'Star Gazing'- I do think on the plans there were 2 or 3 telescopes planned to be set up in the middle of the Peasant Pods.

Then again I think that was the original plans when they were more spaced out. Not the crushed in alternative.
 
@Rick, you're right that it's a capitalist world and Merlin will charge what they can get away with. However unlike trainers, clothing, cars or anything else, Merlin are in the entertainments business. Their business is to create memories and experiences for future generations.

Imagine being a child and staying in somewhere like the Alton Towers hotel with the crashed Sir Algenon boat, the oversized chair, the whacky carpets... something memorable, something you'll always remember. Now imagine staying in one of these pods... Yes I'm sure it's still memorable, but would it evoke those same memories in years to come? Merlin are not obliged to go above and beyond, but it's what they should be striving for.
 
Rick said:
@Martin The Merlin approach to product, pricing etc is different to that of each of those, no arguments there. What they provide works for the family and friends I visit the parks with, it baffles why people who hate it so much continue to patronise it. What a sucky way to live your life - but God bless that sweet sweet freedom you have to do it.
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If I can briefly hop on the Gallopers Carousel, @Rick , as you know, I tend to admire your ability to bring a level of industry-POV pragmatism to what are often spiralling critiques of the park, but the only occasion that I've seen you criticise Merlin recently was when you observed that the parrot in Mutiny Bay was still reccomending The Flume to guests!

I think it's disingenous to suggest that we're by-and-large, a collection of bitter nerds who struggle to have the fun everyone else does. As I've stressed in the past, I've voted with my feet and not made the trip to Alton Towers this year, despite the Wicker Man. That's because when I last visited, after two decades plus of doing so, I felt the park was being run into the ground, and that I'd ridden Nemesis and Oblivion enough in my lifetime not to bother for a little while, especially when I could instead spend a weekend at any of those aforementioned parks and resorts. Yes, I am just one consumer, and one privvy to more insider knowledge than most, but that's still my potential spend down the drain.

Also, it's easier to observe guest feedback than ever, via Twitter, Trip Advisor reviews and general, anecdotal evidence, and while the Wicker Man has been a success, and the season has certainly smoothened out, the fact remains that the park, busier than in years, is being run as a skeleton. And that is obviously reflecting on the everyman, everyday guest experience. It was a reasonable ask to give the park some leeway in the seasons following The Smiler incident, but that the resort is now clocking up the numbers and is still obviously underfunded under Merlin's corporate model. This is crap, and it's difficult to respect any company as major as Merlin who simply aspire to provide the least they can possibly get away with. Of course, their massive market share also affects this, as the majority of theme park visitors in the UK don't know any different. But that's another issue entirely...

Theme parks are not such an enormous, identify-defining part of my life as they once were (perhaps the complacency of my all-time favourite has as much to do with this as age and taste), but I'll hold my hands up, that yes, I'm still attached to the park on a personal level, and the current operational decisions and short-term vision of Merlin are stifling to observe. I think this complacency and attitude will bite them where it hurts before long.

P.S. Nick Varney is a snide.

P.P.S. Sorry for the long post!
 
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Ben said:
Re: The 'Star Gazing'- I do think on the plans there were 2 or 3 telescopes planned to be set up in the middle of the Peasant Pods.
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You're right. There are plans for 3 telescope positions , which will be provided by Merlin Magic Making.
 
3 telescopes between how many punters? And will these be remotely decent, or some thirty quid tat from Argos?

... And how long will they last?
 
God that shed is ruddy awful, there is no way on earth, even for £40 or even £10 I would stay in one of those. Absolutely dire, I would rather take my £40 or so quid and stay in a local B&B and actually have use of a decent bathroom and a little storage space.

They really are lowering the profile of the resort introducing these. I would be surprised if they last more than 2 years before they are taken away due to poor booking numbers. What they should have done is expanded the Enchanted Village lodges put in an entertainment complex in the middle of the development with a bar and music venue, and expanded the Crooked Spoon.

This is just, well, absolutely dire.
 
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