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Stargazing Pods

Just another example of Merlin missing an open goal here really.

We've seen that non-luxury basic accommodation can work well in the form of Europa Park's camping village and even at Flamingo Land where they've incorporated the caravan park and it works quite well.

If we'd seen these as a genuine expansion to the Enchanted Village area, with a genuine attempt to incorporate them into that area and make them look presentable, and if they were genuinely treated as a budget alternative to the hotels (which are drastically overpriced as well for the most part but lets leave that for now), then they would be on to a winner.

They've taken a good, profitable concept but just cut one (or a dozen!) corner(s) too many in realising that concept. Again.

Hopefully nobody will take them up on this and prices will fall dramatically within a season or two... and perhaps the area will look nicer in time once some greenery returns / blooms. But for now, ew. Horrible.
 
What are the odds that these are open only “seasonally”. The current accommodation model for Merlin appears to be building low quality overflow rooms for peak periods, when they can charge premium prices and get away with this nonsense. These additions lean heavily on the existing, better quality, accommodation.

I wonder at what point the capacity of these existing accommodations reaches breaking point? ATH and SLH are already creaking at the edges and unable to support their own residents at times - for example the farcical breakfast service, the perpetual decline in bar service, the downward spiral of food quality. Adding yet more people into the ATH atrium to watch poor quality entertainment or add to the bar queue has a detrimental effect on the residents of all accommodations.

I really struggle to think of a positive change made to the AT accommodation line-up in recent times.
 
Yes the pods are seasonal. In the press release from last year it says:

‘The Pods will be available from 12th April 2019 through-out peak Summer and school holiday periods (Easter, May Half Term, all of June, July and August plus October Half Term). Pods can also be booked for weekend stays in May, Sept and Oct.’
 
GaryH said:
Any photos?
Click to expand...

Latest look at this fantastical new accommodation offering, plus an exclusive glimpse of the proposed breakfast too.

170428-zimmerman-frye-tease_mvkpij


1495465779_f071ddc7066e573b5b59b00301928538.jpg
 
Matt N said:
I'm surprised it hasn't been posted yet, but here's a construction update from TowersTimes from about 2 weeks ago:
https://m.facebook.com/towerstimes/...p?story_fbid=10157099247733185&id=70172603184
Good to see that the development's coming along nicely!
P.S. Not sure why the photos aren't embedding!
Click to expand...

OMG - those pods look, to put it politely, dreadful. More concise words are available, but not suitable for a public forum.

They say you cant polish a turd - but Towers are not even attempting [once the landscaping is complete] to roll one in glitter and fool a few people. 400 bed spaces, 12 showers & toilets for each sex - they really are having a laugh. As has already been said the infrastructure of ATH & Splash is already creaking at the seams when the hotels are full - this will only make matters worse.

Can't wait to read the Tripadvisor reviews from people who have paid circa £150 for a night in the sheds.
 
Just to be annoying, I have to point out that Mythbusters proved you can polish a turd, provided you are willing to spend several days rolling it between your palms and rubbing it on your jeans.

Exactly how this inspired Merlin, I don't want to know.
 
Ah yes , the farm is nearly complete! By the way, the 12 showers and toilets for each sex I believe is actually 6 showers and 6 toilets for male and the same for female. What could possibly go wrong between 7 - 9am when everyone is scrambling to get up, freshen up and use the loo before breakfast? Evenings will also be interesting, when people want to freshen up after a day in the park before evening dinner.

Talking of dinner, shall it be the already crowded Crooked Spoon? Or how about the "queue for ages into the atrium" Secret Garden, alternatively you could try the "god awful pizza and pasta buffet" Splash Landings restaurant, or as a last resort, walk half an hour and try and get a table in the RCR and marvel at how your friends had their meals 20 minutes before you.

As for entertainment, well, there's the fantastical* singer in the ATH right up until, erm, 9pm. Enjoy struggling to find a seat in the already crowded and not enough seated atrium. Have fun standing in the Dragon Bar queue while the single bar person argues with a guest who only has cash on them to pay for their drinks.

Alternatively, wander over to Splash, fight your way through all the children and parents occupying all the seats and enjoy the cheesy disco music played so loud you cant even talk to the person sat next to you. Marvel at how sticky and dirty the tables are, and how no one collects the empty glasses for the duration of the entire night.

Of course, none of this will happen.........

Guests will enjoy laying in their sheds, staring up at the imaginary stars through the wooden roof, or using the magical fantastical* telescopes to desperately look for a star through the clouds. Mystical elves and fairies will depart the doors in the Enchanted Village lodges and entertain the guests, singing folk songs and doing funny dances. Guests will enjoy a BBQ at the doors of their sheds..... briefly, before someone comes with a fire extinguisher to put it out. Then there will be the sheer fun of drinking cans of lager having a bit of a party in the "great outdoors" then trying to make it to the toilet block before wetting yourself on the way. Thankfully, plenty of bushes are being planted around the sheds in consideration of this, so guests don't have to walk so far. Finally, breakfast will be relaxed affair, as 300 guests scramble through the urine soaked bushes and muddy grass to get their over cooked bacon roll and "I cant believe its not real sausage" bap from the burger van.

Yep - this has all be planned to perfection. And finally, the guests will LOVE paying extortionate sums of money for this experience. That's the fantastical* Power of the Towers!

* Fantastical in Alton Towers terms can mean a whole manner of things, but it usually means it sounds a lot better than it actually is
 
GaryH said:
Ah yes , the farm is nearly complete! By the way, the 12 showers and toilets for each sex I believe is actually 6 showers and 6 toilets for male and the same for female. What could possibly go wrong between 7 - 9am when everyone is scrambling to get up, freshen up and use the loo before breakfast? Evenings will also be interesting, when people want to freshen up after a day in the park before evening dinner.

Talking of dinner, shall it be the already crowded Crooked Spoon? Or how about the "queue for ages into the atrium" Secret Garden, alternatively you could try the "god awful pizza and pasta buffet" Splash Landings restaurant, or as a last resort, walk half an hour and try and get a table in the RCR and marvel at how your friends had their meals 20 minutes before you.

As for entertainment, well, there's the fantastical* singer in the ATH right up until, erm, 9pm. Enjoy struggling to find a seat in the already crowded and not enough seated atrium. Have fun standing in the Dragon Bar queue while the single bar person argues with a guest who only has cash on them to pay for their drinks.

Alternatively, wander over to Splash, fight your way through all the children and parents occupying all the seats and enjoy the cheesy disco music played so loud you cant even talk to the person sat next to you. Marvel at how sticky and dirty the tables are, and how no one collects the empty glasses for the duration of the entire night.

Of course, none of this will happen.........

Guests will enjoy laying in their sheds, staring up at the imaginary stars through the wooden roof, or using the magical fantastical* telescopes to desperately look for a star through the clouds. Mystical elves and fairies will depart the doors in the Enchanted Village lodges and entertain the guests, singing folk songs and doing funny dances. Guests will enjoy a BBQ at the doors of their sheds..... briefly, before someone comes with a fire extinguisher to put it out. Then there will be the sheer fun of drinking cans of lager having a bit of a party in the "great outdoors" then trying to make it to the toilet block before wetting yourself on the way. Thankfully, plenty of bushes are being planted around the sheds in consideration of this, so guests don't have to walk so far. Finally, breakfast will be relaxed affair, as 300 guests scramble through the urine soaked bushes and muddy grass to get their over cooked bacon roll and "I cant believe its not real sausage" bap from the burger van.

Yep - this has all be planned to perfection. And finally, the guests will LOVE paying extortionate sums of money for this experience. That's the fantastical* Power of the Towers!

* Fantastical in Alton Towers terms can mean a whole manner of things, but it usually means it sounds a lot better than it actually is
Click to expand...

You should put the above on Tripadvisor now - as a preview review of the Stargazing Sheds. The Product Excellence [now that is a joke title if ever there was one] team at Towers will claim it is "unhelpful" - but wait until guests start to stay in the Stargazing Sheds.

They say you have to reap the crop that you sow and I think Towers are going to get their fingers very burned with these sheds - for all the reasons mentioned above. The existing hotels / Enchanted Village infrastructure cannot cope when the place is busy [a bit like the Park itself]. Adding an extra 400 people into the mix is madness.
 
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