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The Hotels: A Journey

According to that menu, the only lunchtime vegan option is the kids Quorn Nuggets with chips and seemingly a single "baked bean".

Yum.
 
According to that menu, the only lunchtime vegan option is the kids Quorn Nuggets with chips and seemingly a single "baked bean".

Yum.

Not even a good bean either, these beans are cheaper than the Aldi everyday essentials, 24p a can beans. I am surprised their tight margins even allow you a single bean, half a bean would be pushing it with the current state of their margins and prices.
 
This is the current Merlin hotel strategy all over, charge premium prices but deliver a budget hotel experience.

For £400 a night they can afford to have a staffed checked in. Not a machine you would expect to find in a Travelodge.
....and the machines you find in Travelodges (or more commonly Premier Inns) are much more responsive and don't take about 10 minutes to load the next page in the check-in process (and let's not get started with the awful pre-check in form you get sent where you have to basically just re-enter all the details you gave when booking again.)
 
Before any of the capitalism apologists chime in I am not for one moment suggesting the general public will stop visiting but both of those TS posts just reiterate that I will not be staying on resort anytime soon.

I always felt those who used to say you got more out of a travelodge in the past where being hyperbolic, but it’s safe to say now that you get a higher standard from most TL than Alton Towers resort right now.
 
Well the less staff required, the cheaper it is to run. Once everyone realises they're being ripped off and doesn't book, they won't need any staff at all. They'll be saving a fortune!
The logic checks out, I'm sure they've not missed anything.
 
Screenshotted from the Alton Towers News and Discussions Facebook group (link won't show due to privacy settings but if you're in the group you can see the original here)
Screenshot_20230122-210039.png
Looks like some random scraps, the worlds saddest egg and a cup (???) of value beans unlovingly thrown into a pizza box.

Had a similiar experience in ATH last year - ordered a pizza to the room and it was barely edible.
 
Oh my, is it April 1st? I’m quite frankly stunned at what I’ve seen so far.

Does secret garden still have waiter service or is that now order via the app like other Merlin parks?

It’s really really sad to see a park and hotel which was once truly magical just run down like this and becoming an extortion racket on those stupid enough to stay there now.

Even the arcades they had in splash used to be fun arcade game machines now replaced with those ticket machines.

And the self service check in desks I think for me would be the absolute final straw against staying there ever again.

If I were dumb enough to pay £400 for a night I’d at least want a warm welcome from a member of staff when I arrive, not a crappy machine.
 
Screenshotted from the Alton Towers News and Discussions Facebook group (link won't show due to privacy settings but if you're in the group you can see the original here)
Screenshot_20230122-210039.png
Looks like some random scraps, the worlds saddest egg and a cup (???) of value beans unlovingly thrown into a pizza box.

Had a similiar experience in ATH last year - ordered a pizza to the room and it was barely edible.

£900 a night ladies and gentlemen.
 
Screenshot_20230122-210039.png
Looks like some random scraps, the worlds saddest egg and a cup (???) of value beans unlovingly thrown into a pizza box.

Clearly the main perk of the Treehouses is the fact you get a proper hash brown as opposed to the tater tots they usually serve in the restaurants.

Jesus Christ though that’s embarrassing. And Merlin are actually contracting Aramark to provide this crap?!
 
Screenshotted from the Alton Towers News and Discussions Facebook group (link won't show due to privacy settings but if you're in the group you can see the original here)
Screenshot_20230122-210039.png
Looks like some random scraps, the worlds saddest egg and a cup (???) of value beans unlovingly thrown into a pizza box.

Had a similiar experience in ATH last year - ordered a pizza to the room and it was barely edible.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....Wait you're serious?....HAHAHAHAHAHA
 
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