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The I Feel Down Topic.

Tried to steer away from here recently but I've had a shit birthday so far tbh and I need to vent.

I have this friend at school; his birthday is tomorrow, one day after mine. He's a good friend sometimes and we have loads in common, but I am CONSTANTLY in his shadow. I can't do a full rant now but I just hate being second to him all the time, people already chucking their cards and "Birthday tomorrow! etc." kind words at him whilst I'm overlooked.

Silly thing to complain about but he just beats me in everything and it kind of sucks. And I had GCSE English Lit AND GCSE Chemistry Module 3 today which if anybody else on here has done today (Exam Board: AQA) will know to have sucked. :/
 
kateinabox said:
I feel like now im not constantly cutting or attempting suicide, nobody cares about me.

Don't think like that. When you're self harming, you do get a certain type of attention and affection from people, but you get stuck in a pattern of only receiving that type of care. Once you start to recover or recover fully you notice that people don't react to you in the same way. It isn't because they don't care, it's because their approach to you is shifting as you make progress, the same way you learn new coping methods, they learn new ways to speak to you/comfort you/react to you etc. You're still loved! It's just the pattern is changing, the ways they show it will change and you'll get used to a better, less 'intense' but equally as affection type of care.

I hope that makes sense, I'm rushing a bit because I have work, but I wanted to say this because I've been there and I learned a lot from my own experiences. I can't go about my day letting anybody think they're not cared about or wanted.
 
Well I feel like a massive turd.

Mine and my other half's two friends (boyfriend are girlfriend) are moving in on Sunday and I've been spending the last week tidying up their new room and the house so they've got a nice place to move into after our old housemates moved out. A few hours ago, I got a really snotty message off the girlfriend saying that I've been doing these things behind their backs for my own selfish reasons, so they're not going to talk to be about anything in the future because I didn't even message them before I spoke to the landlord.

I wanted to surprise them by everything being ready, partly to make up for making them offended in the past (over literally nothing), but all I've now done is make them not be friends with me as we are days away from living together for the next 15 months.
 
Christ... Josh, you're definitely not in the wrong here because they've done nothing but cause unnecessary drama to you and Dar. There is genuinely no problem in wanting to surprise them and wanting them to feel comfortable when they move in. They should be the ones feeling bad, not you.
 
I genuinely have no idea how you cleaning their room and the house is any reason to be snotty towards you. Personally I think it's a lovely gesture.
 
Bear, when can I move in? Can you cook aswell? :p

Seriously doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, but If they flew off the handle at that it could be a bumpy tenancy... :(
 
Wow thanks for the kind words guys! I'll see if some kind of arrangement can be arranged, and if good comes of it then I'll post in the appropriate thread :)
 
kateinabox said:
I feel like now im not constantly cutting or attempting suicide, nobody cares about me.

People do care, you can see that we care here in good old (ok only a year) towers street land.

As gosling says, there are different types of caring. I think you can only see the worried care that come out of the people that love and care for you when self harm is involved. as you start to recover you will start seeing unspoken parental love. hopefully you will find a good woman, who love you as much as you love her, and you feel the deep unspoken love between lovers.

I don't know about starting to see parental love as I have been lucky in always seeing it. As for finding a lover, now that takes time to meet the right person. But don't get down hearted we all fine it in the end.
 
Sinking deeper, and deeper, and deeper.

Really desperately needed this weekend, been looking forward to it for a while, and now it's in jeopardy.

I'd like to expand more, but the very nature of this thread mean that the importance of everyone's issues is diluted the more people post - people post about self harming and suicide, and by default your post is therefore insignificant.
 
Oh Mark :( Your problems are never insignificant and you have every right to post in here when your own welfare and happiness comes under doubt!
 
Mark, as Rowe said, your posts in this topic as about as significant as just about any other person who posts in this topic! Whether it be a newbie or a established and well known member, we try to help everyone no matter whoever the person is =)

If you want to post no matter what your problems are, then I see no reason not to. And it sounds like your problems are significant enough for this topic. I've felt like you have before and I know it's a rubbish mood. Hopefully things can get better for soon.
 
Tbh my biggest problem is the whole my mother hates me thing, but this topic is for feeling down so im gonna post my petty problems everywhere!!!!
 
So I make music and rollercoasters. Helps keep me calm.Also I have anger bottled up inside me. Which could hurt people badly if I ever got angry with people at school ect So I keep calm and try my best at school and I am currently getting B-A* grades in most of my classes. And I have 2 years till my GCSE's. So I make music and rollercoasters. Helps keep me calm. BUT I WANT TO RAGE... smash stuff, cry and explode all at the same time... I don't know whether my brain can cope with all that and the stress of end of year exams.GAHHHHHHHHH! I am angry,sad, and so many other emotions I don't know how to express! :'(
 
I've just had the dosage of my new anti-depressants (Venlafaxine) doubled. It's causing me to have the most terrible blackouts - I'll feel in my usual constant low mood, and then I'll suddenly have a couple of hours of absolute hell, a nihilistic pitch-BLACKNESS that covers me like a tarpaulin. This'll maybe happen every few days - at work, at home, walking around, or wherever - completely without warning. Like a cluster headache of the mood. It's happening right now, completely without warning, since about 10 past 8. I've never experienced such violent and sudden changes of mood before, and never such blackness, deep blackness. The only thing I can do to stop myself doing a Sylvia Plath is to remember that it isn't usually this bad. I really hope it's just the new drug causing this - not a permanent new pattern.
 
It'll likely be the new dosage of your meds, Sam. That said, if it carries on and you find it unbearable, definitely go back to your GP and explain. You might not need a higher dose of what you're on, you might need a different drug. Psychiatric meds are so tricky. A site I've found great in the past for helping me keep track of what is/isn't right for me is crazymeds.us - you might find some people on there have similar experiences with the same drug and get an idea of what to expect long term.
 
Today I had a woman on the phone refer to me as a 'gentleman' and it made me uncontrollably angry. Unlike in other offices I've worked I know I'm instantly disposable where I am, and nor am I appreciated, so I don't have the luxury of explaining to anyone why it made me so angry simply because they won't care.

I can't remember the last time I felt so furious. It was awful. My arm even started to hurt, which scared me.
 
Sam said:
I've just had the dosage of my new anti-depressants (Venlafaxine) doubled. It's causing me to have the most terrible blackouts - I'll feel in my usual constant low mood, and then I'll suddenly have a couple of hours of absolute hell, a nihilistic pitch-BLACKNESS that covers me like a tarpaulin. This'll maybe happen every few days - at work, at home, walking around, or wherever - completely without warning. Like a cluster headache of the mood. It's happening right now, completely without warning, since about 10 past 8. I've never experienced such violent and sudden changes of mood before, and never such blackness, deep blackness. The only thing I can do to stop myself doing a Sylvia Plath is to remember that it isn't usually this bad. I really hope it's just the new drug causing this - not a permanent new pattern.

Just call your doctor and ask if it's normal, if it'll wear off, and if theres any way of coping with it
Dont do a sylvia, I'd miss you.
My drugs did a similar yet less drastic thing, and I came off them and was fine again
Well not fine but you know what I mean!!
 
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